Support NeoGAF

[ZeoVGM]

Shame on the house of NeoGaf for deleting their accounts over this nothing burger.


Those Simpson pics were apt. The gummy bear episode ones.

Bring back OT please. This shit is over with.

This is disgusting.

 

[Steeped in a Sea of Games]

That's usually how sex works. We present ourselves, and the woman decides.
Dude was probably building up the guts to do it, not even noticing that she was puking, finally does it, gets shot down and walks away with his tail between his legs.

It's a funny story. If a male friend did it to me, I would laugh so hard he'd be really offended. I can't think of anyone I know in real life who would take offense here.

If your male friend who has at least 50 pounds on you became sexually aggressive while drunk, you'd just laugh it off?

 

[kliklik]

IT HAPPENS ALL THE TIME.

It's a way to divest the shame and guilt of being sexually assaulted while trying to regain some agency in their own lives. It's an actual defense mechanism to the crippling issues that bombard victims of sexual abuse.

It doesn't have to make sense on paper, it's literally a thing that happens all the time to people in disadvantaged positions and minorities.

Your logic is what others in the past foolishly used to criticize women who remain in violent relationships. That line of thinking was incorrect then and it's incorrect now. Read up on the experiences of women in these situations and then you'll see what the dynamic actually looks like.

Stockholm syndrome. It doesn't make any fucking sense but it's true. In this particular situation, it is hard to tell whether this was the case. I'm not sure that some dude you were drinking with joins you in the bathroom naked, you tell him to leave, he leaves...is enough to develop Stockholm syndrome. It's possible that the nature of their relationship was more toxic/abusive than either of them have revealed and she very well could have developed some bizarre attachment to him

1) She wasn't a victim of sexual abuse. She didn't even allege that he *touched* her.

2) She wasn't in a longterm relationship with him at the time and there was no history of violence, so Battered Women's Syndrome comparison doesn't apply.

3) "Disadvantaged" people, minorities, and women don't have some weird separate psychology that no-one can possibly understand. Gosh golly the way those ladybrains work is sure confounding but you can't blame em for being irrational! They're still victims! Men and women react in very similar ways in such circumstances.

4) I've been sexually assaulted a few times, and my reaction wasn't 'dayum lemme hop on that dick right quick'. It was to get as far away from the person as possible and excise them from my life, because that is an actual defense mechanism.

Go ask any woman in your life if it would be traumatic for her to suddenly have someone she has not consented to show up in her shower naked.

You tell this story to 100 women and 100 will think that's sexual assault.

You're either inexperienced with women or you're not being genuine.

Well I don't. Sorry.

 

[mr jones]

What bothers me the most is Tyler’s handling of this. Is it so hard to admit he was being a drunken idiot that night? And not say the victim is a mentally ill person with malicious intent.

If he doesn't want legal action taken against him, yes. It is.

 

[Clipjoint]

Possibly? What if they had been men? What if they were women you found unattractive? What if you were in a relationship and didn't want it?

I'm a straight male, and I've been in all of these situations. They weren't sexual assault, because none of them kept pressing the issue after I made it clear I wasn't interested.

But this fantasy world where no one ever makes an advance without receiving prior consent to do so only exists on the internet. In real life, 99% of scenarios fall within the grey area. All you can do as a responsible person is try to judge the situations to the best of your ability, and immediately leave the other person alone if they do not reciprocate or give consent.

There is not a single guy who has not tried to make a move and been shot down before. Maybe we weren't as awkward about it as Evilore was, but we've all been there before.

 

[Aselith]

Living in San Francisco, I've had multiple instances where guys would expose their dicks to me or show me their visible boners through their pants (while riding on the train of all places) hoping to get me to react. Am I a victim of sexual assault?

Yes...

 

[mr jones]

Living in San Francisco, I've had multiple instances where guys would expose their dicks to me or show me their visible boners through their pants (while riding on the train of all places) hoping to get me to react. Am I a victim of sexual assault?

Assault? Probably not. Harassment? Absolutely.

 

[Palette Swap]

”Who gets into a shower with a naked girl who's puking?"
That’s the kind of fuckboy you clowns are tripping all over yourselves to defend here.

A community built on denying an assault victim’s claims is going to be so healthy and full of great people.

 

[Giever]

No bullshit.

You're high off your own drama still guy.

Exposing yourself to a woman in.an attempt to get her affections is a bold play.

It doesn't violate her. There's a difference between presenting and asserting.

So you could say to a woman "I want to grab you by the pussy" that would be ok to do.

Because there's time for the woman to react adversely or positively.

As opposed to violating her space with your hand and groping. That's assault. As soon as you take the choice away. Its assault.

She had a choice she had a voice. She said . leave. He left.

When you get assaulted you don't have fucking agency to do anything.

Again you're a fucking moron. If I didn't say it before.

Keep getting high off the drama though.

You can't call another poster a fucking moron

 

[Herr Schwarz]

This is disgusting.

What I would find disgusting is participating in a Forum of someone I know to be a sexual assaulter.

I believe that there wasn't a real attempt at sexual assault. Just a stupid mistake. Which is why I continue to post.

Because I'd be a real disgusting human being to use a website of someone I think is a predator.

But hey. Keep getting high off the drama.

 

[darscot]

Herr Schwarz I just want to say its far too often on GAF that threads turn into this. I do not know all the details of what happened. From what I do understand this sounds like a screw up. It sucks because no matter what you say they are just going pile on. I can only think of myself and my own experience. Situations like this I know I just go on instinct, I’ve been in a very similar situation that went the complete opposite way. In a hotel having drinks and the girl says I’m going to jump in the shower. Then you realize why the fuck am I sitting out here by myself. You hop in and she says what took you so long, I was starting to think you didn’t like me with that mocking smile. I thank God I never got it wrong. It would be fucking terrible and these days I sure as shit would vocally get confirmation. I can understand this could have just been a mistake. It could have been intentional and he may be a dirtbag. I’m not judging his actions or his handling of it since it broke. Those are just my thoughts on the original story. This site is dead though and it has been dying for some time. To me the reason it’s dying is it’s always 10 on 1 and it’s fucking toxic.

I’ve been here since the gaming age and I’m out, not because of Evilore. I’m out because I’m sick of people just piling on and no one ever sticking up for anyone.

 

[kliklik]

This site is dead though and it has been dying for some time. To me the reason it's dying is it's always 10 on 1 and it's fucking toxic.

I've been here since the gaming age and I'm out, not because of Evilore. I'm out because I'm sick of people just piling on and no one ever sticking up for anyone.

Maybe things will change now that most of the outraged individuals will self-exile, as have a lot of ban-happy mods, so maybe try to stick around for a bit to see if things get better? That's what I plan to do.

 

[projectmayhem]

There is not a single guy who has not tried to make a move and been shot down before. Maybe we weren't as awkward about it as Evilore was, but we've all been there before.

Leaning in for a kiss or something along those lines and getting shot down, of course.

But are you telling me there's little difference in that and getting naked to jump into a shower with an unsuspecting girl? That is far beyond "awkward".

 

[con-ca-te-nate]

I loved GAF, but I just can't support this site anymore owned by a fucking maniac. We'll I gues I have to move on.

 

[Herr Schwarz]

You can't call another poster a fucking moron

Yeah I can. You don't think he's being heated?

Look I'm not trying to demean the very real plight women face on a day by day basis.

I'm just saying in this specific incident I think evillore mustnof seriously misread the situation. Beer goggles?

He presented himself, he was turned away. End of dramatic retelling.

They both spoke afterwards and continued their relationship and got to a place where they were intimate.

Trying to create some overly salacious perversions, trying to prescribe intentions akin to some kind of fucking Buffalo Bill FBI character profile?

It's ridiculous.

It doesn't excuse what he did as fucking idiotic. But I don't believe with the facts we have there was a predatory or malicious intent behind his actions.

 

[All Hail C-Webb]

Possibly? What if they had been men? What if they were women you found unattractive? What if you were in a relationship and didn't want it?

Completely irrelevant, but no either way.
And if I were in a relationship, drinking with someone of the opposite sex in a hotel room, I'm almost certain that at least one of us thinks that things are going to get physical.

I don't think there is scenario that leads to sex more often than 2 people drinking together in a hotel room. If you're drinking with someone you like in a hotel room, you already think you're going to score, and 90% of the time he will.

In this situation, the girl said no, and Evilore back off. He doesn't get props for doing the right thing, and his explanation has really sucked, but the actual story is nothing.

The main thing I didn't like about the OT is how people would try to really villainize many things that are completely acceptable in the real world. I accepted it because I thought it was necessary in order to keep more bigoted views out, but it looks like it ultimately lead to the death of NeoGAF as we know it.

 

[Clipjoint]

Why, in your mind, does he only need consent after already partaking in a sexual act that she didn't consent to?

You're right, people don't always get affirmative consent in every situation, but they fucking should. Not only because it's morally the right thing to do, because jumping naked unannounced into a shower with a woman can be a terrifying thing especially to some women, but to protect yourself, too.

What matters is that he didn't get that consent. He didn't try to touch her or grope her after she refused consent, but he had already violated her consent by being there naked in the first place.

A man and a woman sharing a hotel room and getting drunk together is not a standard friendly situation. I wouldn't share a hotel room with a female friend because of the implication, regardless of my intentions. If you add alcohol to the mix, it makes the situation even murkier. Now add her getting into the shower and leaving the door open - I'm not saying what he did was right, I'm just saying there were enough signs there that could have been constituted as implied consent. He didn't bust down her door or sneak in through the back room. It's understandable why he could have had the wrong idea about what she wanted.

What's important is that, once she made her intentions clear, he immediately backed off. That was the tipping point, and what makes this situation a misunderstanding but definitely not sexual assault.

 

[Sàmban]

What part of being drunk in a hotel room is affirmative consent?

Relevant story: One day I was hanging out with this girl whom I thought was really cool. We ended up super drunk at my apartment and she decided to take a shower. She took so long I fell asleep.

Eventually we were up in a relationship. One day, she told me that she almost thought I wasn't into her because that night she was trying to make it super obvious that I should come into the bathroom with her but I fell asleep.

I'm not saying this to validate Tyler's behavior. Just to say that human beings are complicated. It's always better to be on the safe side and respect people's boundaries but mistakes can happen.

 

[All Hail C-Webb]

If your male friend who has at least 50 pounds on you became sexually aggressive while drunk, you'd just laugh it off?

Nakedness is sexual aggression to you. I hate to tell you this buddy, but we get naked before we fuck.


Edit: Why would my friend's size matter? You are offending fat people here.

 

[TheTylerRob]

”Who gets into a shower with a naked girl who's puking?"
That’s the kind of fuckboy you clowns are tripping all over yourselves to defend here.

A community built on denying an assault victim’s claims is going to be so healthy and full of great people.

Name a single time when gaf didn't automatically take the side of the accuser. The mod team quit before any of the facts were out, almost like the facts didn't matter to them.

 

[The Strokes]

I've been chased and targeted by a murdering pedophile, son. I've seen the face of evil and it looks fucking nothing like this.

Trust me this shit isn't anything but a nothing burger. People derp up a whole lot in life.

It's a drama hurricane with no real drama.

You wanna talk real shit? Come to Mexico and see how many times you can hold your manliness in your paints before shitting it all after having a gun pointed at your face and seeing friends and family disappear only to show up dead weeks and months later.

One thing doesn't excuse the other, you're experience is yours to be dealt with. Stop being a condescending douchebag about the whole deal and accept that people face this type of stuff in very, very different ways.You don't get to decide if the girl should feel assaulted or not, the facts are stated and the silence from the perpetrator has made crystal clear that he's a piece of shit and broke a girls trust looking to get some at the expense of her.

If you, of all people as you claim to have been molested, can't understand it, I know now why Donald Trump made it all the way to the Presidency of your Country.

Also, fuck the guy that's using a tv show as an excuse for this type of behavior. That's just a complete childish, idiotic, incredibly blank way to try and defend the inadmissible. And fuck the new mods for warning before banning a fellow user for trying to talk some sense into some people that dismissed groping as a non-sexual threat.

 

[Floyd]

Real abusers of woman do not get out of that shower when asked. He thought he was getting laid. He likely had a raging hard on. And had a naked wet woman in front of him. But he didn't touch. And he got out and left her alone when asked. That doesn't sound like the actions of a terrible person.

 

[RDreamer]

Relevant story: One day I was hanging out with this girl whom I thought was really cool. We ended up super drunk at my apartment and she decided to take a shower. She took so long I fell asleep.

Eventually we were up in a relationship. One day, she told me that she almost thought I wasn't into her because that night she was trying to make it super obvious that I should come into the bathroom with her but I fell asleep.

I'm not saying this to validate Tyler's behavior. Just to say that human beings are complicated. It's always better to be on the safe side and respect people's boundaries but mistakes can happen.

But... there's a middle ground between showing up unannounced in a shower with a woman who didn't consent to that and not going for anything at all.

It's called... asking? Get affirmative consent before taking off your clothes and getting into the shower.

Human beings are complicated, and that's why you should get consent before you do things that might not be ok with them.

 

[TheYanger]

They weren't just hanging out in a cafe. They were alone, in a hotel room, getting drunk together. By any and all definitions, that's a sexually charged setting ripe for a misunderstanding. No matter how comfortable you are with someone as a friend, being alone in a hotel room together is an uncomfortable situation for that reason. This wasn't just a random pussy grab, the way you put it. I wouldn't let my girlfriend share a hotel room with a guy for this exact reason, nor would my girlfriend let me share a room with a woman.

Is it really that fucking sexually charged or uncomfortable? Not for normal people.

I literally missed this entire explosion on Gaf because I was at twitch con, being drunk in a hotel room one on one with two seperate married women that are friends of mine. Nobody made any remotely sexual advance on anyone else, nobody was hurt, nobody was sad. Gee, it's almost like just because I become drunk I dont' turn into a sexual predator.

 

[meanspartan]

I loved GAF, but I just can't support this site anymore owned by a fucking maniac. We'll I gues I have to move on.

Why do so many people post this?

Just fucking leave then lol. Thats your prerogative but I dont understand the point of proclamation posts.

 

[blankempathy]

This is a valid question, but I think if you really approach this question with an attempt at having an open mind instead of just being outraged, you'll realize that it's entirely possible that he did not have her vulnerability in mind like you're implying. Maybe if he got in there and saw that she wasn't coherent enough, he would have gotten out and tried to call for help. We don't know. It is valid to assume that might have had bad intentions, but it is also valid to think maybe he was just drunk and misread the situation. I mean, they did sleep together later on (an no, the events do not fit the profile of Stockholm syndrome).

Its hilarious that you're accusing me of not having an open mind. I never denied this person's take on the story. Even though they adamantly deny it could be any other way. I'm iust presenting a scenario that could exist. Because if that other persons scenario was 100% the truth all the pieces regarding this whole thing and the statement Evilore made would fit. Yet there are some obvious red flags that contradict everything. Where are the mods? Why aren't they speaking up on Evilore's behalf and why did they all mostly leave if he did nothing wrong? Why did he try to bury discussion about this statement before the site went down??


As for the stockholm syndrom thing I wasn't the one who presented that argument. I don't believe it either. Her statement claims that this situation with Evilore caused a rift with her boyfriend at the time and they broke up. The only explanation I have is they she was upset alone and knew Evilore wanted her. I'm not going to sit here and say thats remotely rational behavior. Neither is jumping into a shower naked with someone you aren't seeing while they're sick from intoxication and has a boyfriend.

That's usually how sex works. We present ourselves, and the woman decides.
Dude was probably building up the guts to do it, not even noticing that she was puking, finally does it, gets shot down and walks away with his tail between his legs.

It's a funny story. If a male friend did it to me, I would laugh so hard he'd be really offended. I can't think of anyone I know in real life who would take offense here.

How do you not notice someone isn't puking? Or were they in some mansion of a hotel room where the bathroom isn't close enough that you don't hear them vomiting? Maybe shes just a quiet puker?

 

[Clipjoint]

Leaning in for a kiss or something along those lines and getting shot down, of course.

But are you telling me there's little difference in that and getting naked to jump into a shower with an unsuspecting girl? That is far beyond "awkward".

If we're sharing a hotel room, we've been partying, and she gets up and jumps in the shower and leaves the door open? I can see how someone could mistake that for an invitation. What's important is that she cleared up her intentions, and he stopped pressing the situation.

Personally, I wouldn't share a hotel room with a woman without being 100% certain we both knew beforehand that nothing was going to happen. Because in any other situation, I would assume something was going to happen.

 

[BBboy20]

Bringing me to my last point, BRING BACK OFF-TOPIC FORUMS. Talk like this has no business in a forum dedicated to video games

The last 10 months alone have taught me that having a mentality like this is a mistake.

 

[longdi]

Maybe im asian, but a guy and gal together on road trip, getting drunk and staying in the same room, is too risqué.

Ultimately it's her words vs his. Usually the guy is at the losing end.

Can we get the OT forums back? I need my Dragonball, Football and Android discussion place.

 

[Mahadev]

Living in San Francisco, I've had multiple instances where guys would expose their dicks to me or show me their visible boners through their pants (while riding on the train of all places) hoping to get me to react. Am I a victim of sexual assault?

After reading this thread I'm assuming you then had sexual relationships with most of these men because of your crippling issues with these encounters. Right?

 

[Vicetrailia]

Why do so many people post this?

Just fucking leave then lol. Thats your prerogative but I dont understand the point of proclamation posts.

To let evilore know that he's losing valued community members.

 

[OptionalObjectives]

”Who gets into a shower with a naked girl who's puking?"
That’s the kind of fuckboy you clowns are tripping all over yourselves to defend here.

A community built on denying an assault victim’s claims is going to be so healthy and full of great people.

Agreed. Half of the posts I see are rightfully disgusted, and the other half represent a pathetic defense brigade of a person who, at the very best, is an asshole with his finger on GAF's self-destruct.

 

[Durrzerker]

To let evilore know that he's losing valued community members.

I don't think he cares

 

[Steeped in a Sea of Games]

So you guys do realize that exposing yourself to another person without consent is a crime that can land you on a sex offenders list in some states, right?

 

[RDreamer]

Is it really that fucking sexually charged or uncomfortable? Not for normal people.

I literally missed this entire explosion on Gaf because I was at twitch con, being drunk in a hotel room one on one with two seperate married women that are friends of mine. Nobody made any remotely sexual advance on anyone else, nobody was hurt, nobody was sad. Gee, it's almost like just because I become drunk I dont' turn into a sexual predator.

Seriously.

I've been in a hotel room drinking with the opposite sex. My wife has been. Previous girlfriends have been. A lot of business trips happen in hotel rooms. Dumb backwards ass 'implications' do not mean consent.

So you guys do realize that exposing yourself to another person without consent is a crime that can land you on a sex offenders list in some states, right?

Nah man, it's a BOLD MOVE.

Or an awkward move.

Somehow it's both?

I really don't know...

 

[Clipjoint]

Is it really that fucking sexually charged or uncomfortable? Not for normal people.

I literally missed this entire explosion on Gaf because I was at twitch con, being drunk in a hotel room one on one with two seperate married women that are friends of mine. Nobody made any remotely sexual advance on anyone else, nobody was hurt, nobody was sad. Gee, it's almost like just because I become drunk I dont' turn into a sexual predator.

Were the married women sleeping with you in the hotel room, or just hanging out?

 

[metalslimer]

So you guys do realize that exposing yourself to another person without consent is a crime that can land you on a sex offenders list in some states, right?

Nah just some drunken fun

 

[Herr Schwarz]

You wanna talk real shit? Come to Mexico and see how many times you can hold your manliness in your paints before shitting it all after having a gun pointed at your face and seeing friends and family disappear only to show up dead weeks and months later.

One thing doesn't excuse the other, you're experience is yours to be dealt with. Stop being a condescending douchebag about the whole deal and accept that people face this type of stuff in very, very different ways.You don't get to decide if the girl should feel assaulted or not, the facts are stated and the silence from the perpetrator has made crystal clear that he's a piece of shit and broke a girls trust looking to get some at the expense of her.

If you, of all people as you claim to have been molested, can't understand it, I know now why Donald Trump made it all the way to the Presidency of your Country.

Also, fuck the guy that's using a tv show as an excuse for this type of behavior. That's just a complete childish, idiotic, incredibly blank way to try and defend the inadmissible. And fuck the new mods for warning before banning a fellow user for trying to talk some sense into some people that dismissed groping as a non-sexual threat.

I wasn't molested. I was chased! If he had of caught me I would of died fighting lol.

I've been to Chizen itza but not seen the mexico ghetto it wasn't on the tour.

I don't get to decide how she feels. I'm just deciding how I feel. I can appreciate she may of been horrified or bemused.

I fuckin would of been. But I know she must of felt better when.she said for him to go he left.

It clearly made her uncomfortable, scared even. But outside of seeing a naked man. Nothing happened.

 

[RDreamer]

Were the married women sleeping with you in the hotel room, or just hanging out?

Sleeping in the same room as someone implies consent?

 

[TheTylerRob]

So you guys do realize that exposing yourself to another person without consent is a crime that can land you on a sex offenders list in some states, right?

You really owned that contextless strawman

 

[skullmuffins]

Name a single time when gaf didn't automatically take the side of the accuser. The mod team quit before any of the facts were out, almost like the facts didn't matter to them.

maybe the mod team quit because they were hearing the batshit excuses EL was coming up with before his public "statement" and wouldn't stand for it.

eg /url] which is what he allegedly to..." "severely mentally ill", "delusional", etc.

 

[kliklik]

Seriously.

I've been in a hotel room drinking with the opposite sex. My wife has been. Previous girlfriends have been. A lot of business trips happen in hotel rooms. Dumb backwards ass 'implications' do not mean consent.

Were they leaving the washroom door unlocked and ajar while taking their clothes off and hopping in the shower?

And no, it doesn't mean consent, but it could indicate that consent might be obtainable if you pursue it. He pursued it in the most cringeworthy way but that doesn't amount to sexual assault or rape, like some are yelling.

 

[WhiskeyKnight]

I'm a straight male, and I've been in all of these situations. They weren't sexual assault, because none of them kept pressing the issue after I made it clear I wasn't interested.

But this fantasy world where no one ever makes an advance without receiving prior consent to do so only exists on the internet. In real life, 99% of scenarios fall within the grey area. All you can do as a responsible person is try to judge the situations to the best of your ability, and immediately leave the other person alone if they do not reciprocate or give consent.

There is not a single guy who has not tried to make a move and been shot down before. Maybe we weren't as awkward about it as Evilore was, but we've all been there before.

This x1000.

The unrealistic expectations around prior consent I've seen expressed this evening make me think very few GAFers have had sexual encounters in the real world.

From what I can tell Evilore misjudged a situation, made a drunken, ill-advised (and yes, sexually aggressive) move on a girl. He got shot down. And then he rightly backed off.

That is not a rape.

 

[RDreamer]

You really owned that contextless strawman

How is that a straw man? People here are literally defending exposing yourself without consent.

 

[Clipjoint]

Seriously.

I've been in a hotel room drinking with the opposite sex. My wife has been. Previous girlfriends have been. A lot of business trips happen in hotel rooms. Dumb backwards ass 'implications' do not mean consent.

At my company, if a man and a woman shared a hotel room on a business trip they'd both be fired. It's explicitly forbidden for members of the opposite sex to share a hotel room.

 

[skullmuffins]

Lotta fans of the Mike Pence philosophy of women in here.

 

[Sàmban]

1) She wasn't a victim of sexual abuse. She didn't even allege that he *touched* her.

2) She wasn't in a longterm relationship with him at the time and there was no history of violence, so Battered Women's Syndrome comparison doesn't apply.

3) "Disadvantaged" people, minorities, and women don't have some weird separate psychology that no-one can possibly understand. Gosh golly the way those ladybrains work is sure confounding but you can't blame em for being irrational! They're still victims! Men and women react in very similar ways in such circumstances.

4) I've been sexually assaulted a few times, and my reaction wasn't 'dayum lemme hop on that dick right quick'. It was to get as far away from the person as possible and excise them from my life, because that is an actual defense mechanism.




Well I don't. Sorry.

1. Stockholm syndrome isn't limited to sexual abuse
2. Maybe my post wasn't clear, but I agree with you. I don't think we know enough to say that any form of the syndrome was at play. All we know is Tyler showed up naked in the bathroom after they'd been drinking and they had a moment of intimacy after that. That's it.

 

[RDreamer]

At my company, if a man and a woman shared a hotel room on a business trip they'd both be fired. It's explicitly forbidden for members of the opposite sex to share a hotel room.

But presumably two lesbians could share a hotel room.

I'll say it again: Dumb backwards 'implications' don't imply consent.

 

[Lupercal]

Man, some people are as delirious as Evilore on here in regards to women.

 

[Clipjoint]

Sleeping in the same room as someone implies consent?

It doesn't directly imply consent, but it also opens up a grey area where they each could have had a different interpretation of what exactly the trip was.

What if instead of trying to jump in the shower with her, he had gone in for a kiss? Is there any room for a misunderstanding in your mind, or is any sexual contact without explicit verbal consent automatically considered sexual assault?