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[Fuchsdh]

Dude if you think even half the people in the world have the strength to do that...

Ultimately, then, it's on you. No one is ever going to be as strong an advocate for your own life as you will be. If you can't help yourself, there's not much that can be done.

You can't control other people's selfish actions. You can control your responses to those actions. I'm sure this girl has had a litany of friends and acquaintances tell her what is really obvious to everyone watching a few minutes of video. If she doesn't make a break it's her fault at that point. Definition of insanity and all that.

Also, I get the point of 'she can do better', but focusing on the fact that she's attractive seems like it's undercutting her. No, ugly people don't deserve to be cheated on any more than her, and it doesn't matter if you're less attractive, you should be getting out of those relationships anyhow.

I'm not trying to brag but it's never been hard for me to meet women, and I have no thoughts on cheating on my wife at all. 34 years old. Sounds more like you are projecting.

After all the Gamergate alt accounts and the "Be sensitive about the Nazis" stuff recently, I've given up on expecting juniors to have any sort of worthwhile insight.

 

[deleted]

I spend as much time with her as I can, I provide for her the best I can, and I spoil her every chance I get.

That said, we're in a long distance relationship due to her being at university. We don't see each other as much as either of us would like to, often over a month goes by before we see each other. Then once we are together, we only have sex 2-3 times a week and it's always the same. There's no excitement in our sex lives anymore.

So I find excitement and fulfilling sex elsewhere.

She isn't getting dick elsewhere, and she doesn't know what I've done behind her back.
She's seen messages on my phone from another girl in the past and I lied through my teeth to get out of her suspicion. I'm not proud of that, but it is what it is.



Nope and nope.

I recognise that makes me a hypocrite, but in all honesty, if I found out she slept with another man then I would leave her.

WTF? There's nothing wrong with having an open relationship - if you're not happy with the way your relationship is going, ending it is also an option.

I know I wouldn't agree to a long distance relationship that isn't open, especially not, if you don't click the same way sexually as otherwise.

 

[GreatestHits]

Asshole and naiive girl. I hope she grew from this situation and became a stronger person, with more confidence and more self respect. I doubt he changed at all. She really seemed like she needed someone regardless of the connection, someone who didn't care for her, and that's unattractive to any partner. But she's the one here with growth potential, and will probably end up being a bad ass lady. I see this dude never settling down in a real relationship, but having lots of sex, until he's old and lonely, unless he makes some key changes.

But honestly I don't know these people. I was rolling my eyes pretty hard and had to quit watching.

 

[Lego Boss]

I'm not projecting. I have an open relationship in order to deal with the long distance we have to face.

I'm just trying to shed light in the contradictions of society. Statistically most men cheat (does anyone have good research on this? ) yet out in the open most men will claim to be completely against cheating.

If men (and woman) were more honest with what we really want, open relationships may come more accepted and a reduction of the stranglehold of religiously mandated monogamy may occur. This could result in a more honest society and less broken hearts.

Unfortuately, this is true. Around 50% of mariages will expereince infidelity, but the majority of those don't end in divorce.

Also ANYONE is capable of having an affair. If you think that you are not, that you are 'better' than that, or simply never would, then believe me, you are most at risk.

If you think you are impervious, then you are quite simply delusional.

 

[Spiral Insanity]

Cheating on my girlfriend throughout the last two year is the main reason we're still together.
She's a great girl, great sense of humour and personality, but we don't see each other enough and when we do our sex life is pretty drab,

Sleeping with other women behind her back just came naturally to me.

I feel so bad for your girlfriend.. I hope she doesn't grt a disease from you.

 

[Dryk]

I'm not projecting. I have an open relationship in order to deal with the long distance we have to face.

I'm just trying to shed light in the contradictions of society. Statistically most men cheat (does anyone have good research on this? ) yet out in the open most men will claim to be completely against cheating.

If men (and woman) were more honest with what we really want, open relationships may come more accepted and a reduction of the stranglehold of religiously mandated monogamy may occur. This could result in a more honest society and less broken hearts.

Or at least we'd have more mono relationships where people aren't scared to admit that they're developing feelings for someone else so they can process them properly.

I'm not saying open relationships are bad, but they're not for everyone. Despite my infidelity, they're not suited to me and my girlfriend.

I never said I'm not happy in the relationship either, we're both happy. We're got a nice future set and we'll be moving in together later this year. I personally don't feel fulfilled by our sex life, so I go elsewhere for fulfilling sex.
There's more to a relationship than sex, and I'm happy in every other aspect of our relationship so I don't see a reason to split up.

You're willfully and gleefully violating the terms of your relationship. You're not suited to closed relationships either bro, stop being so selfish and treat your girlfriend with some damn respect.

 

[Phatosaurus]

WTF? There's nothing wrong with having an open relationship - if you're not happy with the way your relationship is going, ending it is also an option.

I know I wouldn't agree to a long distance relationship that isn't open, especially not, if you don't click the same way sexually as otherwise.

I'm not saying open relationships are bad, but they're not for everyone. Despite my infidelity, they're not suited to me and my girlfriend.

I never said I'm not happy in the relationship either, we're both happy. We're got a nice future set and we'll be moving in together later this year. I personally don't feel fulfilled by our sex life, so I go elsewhere for fulfilling sex.
There's more to a relationship than sex, and I'm happy in every other aspect of our relationship so I don't see a reason to split up.

I feel so bad for your girlfriend.. I hope she doesn't grt a disease from you.

What are condoms?

 

[Tuck]

She isn't getting dick elsewhere, and she doesn't know what I've done behind her back.
She's seen messages on my phone from another girl in the past and I lied through my teeth to get out of her suspicion. I'm not proud of that, but it is what it is.



Nope and nope.

I recognise that makes me a hypocrite, but in all honesty, if I found out she slept with another man then I would leave her.

Yeah, you're a peice of shit.

Open relationships are fine. But going behind her back like that makes you a shitty person.

 

[GreatestHits]

Unfortuately, this is true. Around 50% of mariages will expereince infidelity, but the majority of those don't end in divorce.

Also ANYONE is capable of having an affair. If you think that you are not, that you are 'better' than that, or simply never would, then believe me, you are most at risk.

If you think you are impervious, then you are quite simply delusional.

*Marvin gaye voice*
Moral of the story bros, let your head jerk when that fiiiiiine woman walks by, tell the WORLD what ya think, but then, just keep on movin' man... just keep on movin', and keep thinkin' about why you're still at home.
/*

 

[JoJoShabadoo]

This video is fake fake fake. Both are actors, the guy in particular doesn't act well, but the girl does alright. "You helped me with my groceries upstairs, ohh teehee you were such a gentleman"

*7 minutes of overly-produced footage*

This might as well be from a reality show or Maury.

 

[Spiral Insanity]

I'm not saying open relationships are bad, but they're not for everyone. Despite my infidelity, they're not suited to me and my girlfriend.

I never said I'm not happy in the relationship either, we're both happy. We're got a nice future set and we'll be moving in together later this year. I personally don't feel fulfilled by our sex life, so I go elsewhere for fulfilling sex.
There's more to a relationship than sex, and I'm happy in every other aspect of our relationship so I don't see a reason to split up.


What are condoms?

Oh yeah, magical condoms that prevent everything. You put a condom over your whole body? Do you kiss?

Stop fucking lying to her you are wasting her time.

 

[Phatosaurus]

Oh yeah, magical condoms that prevent everything. You put a condom over your whole body? Do you kiss?

Stop fucking lying to her you are wasting her time.

Why are you so paranoid about STIs?

It's none of your business who I lie to or what I lie about, but carry on playing the relationship advisor.

 

[PSYGN]

I'm not saying open relationships are bad, but they're not for everyone. Despite my infidelity, they're not suited to me and my girlfriend.

I never said I'm not happy in the relationship either, we're both happy. We're got a nice future set and we'll be moving in together later this year. I personally don't feel fulfilled by our sex life, so I go elsewhere for fulfilling sex.
There's more to a relationship than sex, and I'm happy in every other aspect of our relationship so I don't see a reason to split up.


What are condoms?

What a dirtbag. You say you're both happy but that's only because she doesn't know what you're doing behind her back obviously. I hope she finds out.

 

[GreatestHits]

Marriage and committment is not in line with human nature. Love for one human being is as dynamic as anything, unless you're straight up SOUL mates. Even then, if your priorities change, your desires change, you may not want to stay forever. The key is, communication and openness to the one whom you are responsible for sharing these things with. It's not easy, but you have to be honest and not hide it

And if for them, sex with just eachother is a big part of it, and not for you, so you just conveniently hide your outside sex with her, then you're fuckin' up. But life will show that to you in due time

 

[Glendemonium]

Wow she's nice, calm, and pretty, reminds me of another woman I went to school with... that also ran to the arms of serial cheaters.

Even to this day I get infuriated when guys do this shit to people who actually care about them. It's like dying of thirst while watching another man drown. (TFS quote)

 

[UnemployedVillain]

I'm not saying open relationships are bad, but they're not for everyone. Despite my infidelity, they're not suited to me and my girlfriend.

I never said I'm not happy in the relationship either, we're both happy. We're got a nice future set and we'll be moving in together later this year. I personally don't feel fulfilled by our sex life, so I go elsewhere for fulfilling sex.
There's more to a relationship than sex, and I'm happy in every other aspect of our relationship so I don't see a reason to split up.

LOL. Basically they're "not suited" because you wouldn't want her seeing other men, while you're free to see other women. Embarrassing and pathetic.

I've talked to women in relationships like yours, or in "open" relationships where the guy very much pushed the idea and is the only one taking advantage of the open part, and the commonality is the one cheating/seeing other people always makes excuses to justify their behavior

 

[GreatestHits]

Even to this day I get infuriated when guys do this shit to people who actually care about them. It's like dying of thirst while watching another man drown. (TFS quote)

Tbh she doesn't care about him, she just is unhappy with herself. This is a thing everywhere. No healthy person puts up with this, unless there's been a history or foundation built on a proper respectful relationship. Don't let the thirst cloud your judgement

 

[Phatosaurus]

LOL. Basically they're "not suited" because you wouldn't want her seeing other men, while you're free to see other women. Embarrassing.

I've talked to women in relationships like yours, or in "open" relationships where the guy very much pushed the idea and is the only one taking advantage of the open part, and the commonality is the one cheating/seeing other people always makes excuses to justify their behavior

We're not suited to it because she has no interest in sleeping with other men. She doesn't have a high sex drive, and she's satisfied with the sex with do have.

 

[Juno]

You never think you'll stick around. But the mind does interesting things to justify it.

This.

I've been there once - you convince yourself that with time and patience they'll become the person you desperately want them to be.

 

[Ashby]

Why are you so paranoid about STIs?

It's none of your business who I lie to or what I lie about, but carry on playing the relationship advisor.

Why are you doing this? You're just begging someone to dox you and out this all to your gf, man

 

[Messofanego]

Idk, the dude has made all his social media private supposedly due to all the hate messages he's recieving. The internet has even revealed where he works. If it was fake I think they wouldve came out by now.

Ugh, dude knows he's an asshole no need to remind him of it.

 

[Valtýr]

We're not suited to it because she has no interest in sleeping with other men. She doesn't have a high sex drive, and she's satisfied with the sex with do have.

How do you think she would feel knowing you were lying to her and sleeping with someone else behind her back? Clearly you know she wouldn't be happy because you're keeping it from her. That sort of betrayal of trust is not how any sort of relationship is formed. You're a selfish hypocrite with no regard for other persons feelings.

Also: just we we're clear, I don't believe a word you're saying. You're just making shit up to get attention.

 

[UnemployedVillain]

We're not suited to it because she has no interest in sleeping with other men. She doesn't have a high sex drive, and she's satisfied with the sex with do have.

So the answer is to cheat behind her back? Or is she aware you're seeing other women?

 

[Jonnax]

Why are you so paranoid about STIs?

It's none of your business who I lie to or what I lie about, but carry on playing the relationship advisor.

Sure. It's none of anyone's business. But you're bragging on a message board.

So people can call you out on it.

 

[digitalrelic]

What an awful, toxic relationship. I feel really bad for her. He's a piece of shit.

 

[GreatestHits]

Cheaters gonna cheat, don't know why you guys are playing ball with this dude. Trust in karma, it takes great care

Back on topic: dude's getting way too much strange to give a damn, but nice of him to sit down with this girl and entertain her questions, I guess

 

[Lashley]

#HurtBae

Jesus wept

 

[diaspora]

Why are you so paranoid about STIs?

It's none of your business who I lie to or what I lie about, but carry on playing the relationship advisor.

You're here talking about it on a public forum lmao

 

[digitalrelic]

Why are you so paranoid about STIs?

It's none of your business who I lie to or what I lie about, but carry on playing the relationship advisor.

Get the fuck out of here with that shit, man. I feel bad for anyone that thinks they can trust you. Good people don't treat those they supposedly love this way. You aren't a good person.

 

[LionPride]

Why are you so paranoid about STIs?

It's none of your business who I lie to or what I lie about, but carry on playing the relationship advisor.

Fool you talkin bout it on a goddamn message board

 

[flintstryker]

Ultimately, then, it's on you. No one is ever going to be as strong an advocate for your own life as you will be. If you can't help yourself, there's not much that can be done.

You can't control other people's selfish actions. You can control your responses to those actions. I'm sure this girl has had a litany of friends and acquaintances tell her what is really obvious to everyone watching a few minutes of video. If she doesn't make a break it's her fault at that point. Definition of insanity and all that.

Also, I get the point of 'she can do better', but focusing on the fact that she's attractive seems like it's undercutting her. No, ugly people don't deserve to be cheated on any more than her, and it doesn't matter if you're less attractive, you should be getting out of those relationships anyhow.



After all the Gamergate alt accounts and the "Be sensitive about the Nazis" stuff recently, I've given up on expecting juniors to have any sort of worthwhile insight.

What utter nonsense weren't you yourself a new member once? Think it made sense back then for people to dismissed all you said because you were new?

 

[Messofanego]

Can't wait for the Phatosaurus thread where she eventually finds out.

You couldn't have just told her that you're unfulfilled in your sex life, no you had to go and lie behind her back to wet your dick.

 

[Marquis]

Girl gets cheated on.

Everybody ends up ragging on their girl.

 

[Phatosaurus]

How do you think she would feel knowing you were lying to her and sleeping with someone else behind her back? Clearly you know she wouldn't be happy because you're keeping it from her. That sort of betrayal of trust is not how any sort of relationship is formed. You're a selfish hypocrite with no regard for other persons feelings.

Also: just we we're clear, I don't believe a word you're saying. You're just making shit up to get attention.

Of course she wouldn't be happy, I'm also certain she'd forgive me too, but I don't see why it should ever have to come to that when a lie hurts less than the truth.

Can't wait for the Phatosaurus thread where she eventually finds out.

You couldn't have just told her that you're unfulfilled in your sex life, no you had to go and lie behind her back to wet your dick.

We have spoken about it, many times.

 

[hodgy100]

Of course she wouldn't be happy, I'm also certain she'd forgive me too, but I don't see why it should ever have to come to that when a lie hurts less than the truth.


We have spoken about it, many times.

then why dont you just break up with her?

 

[Phatosaurus]

then why dont you just break up with her?

Read my earlier posts, I'm happy in every other aspect of our relationship.

 

[panty]

Fucking idiots, dont cheat.

 

[njean777]

Been cheated on by a girl, it sucks, but that is life. In the end when people cheat it is psychological issues that need to be addressed and most of the time the cheater will not accept that. Most of the time it stems from narcissism, co-dependence, sociopathy, or even psychopathy. People can change but in the end most either don't or it takes them a long time to do so (if they are even interested).

 

[hodgy100]

Read my earlier posts, I'm happy in every other aspect of our relationship.

but you know it would make her upset if she found out. So why do you have so little respect for your girlfriend?

That hashtag is a fucking joke because I'll never take the word "bae" seriously. Sounds fucking dumb.

#HurtBae

The fuck

Only Mei can be Bae!

 

[TheOfficeMut]

That hashtag is a fucking joke because I'll never take the word "bae" seriously. Sounds fucking dumb.

#HurtBae

The fuck

 

[Phatosaurus]

but you know it would make her upset if she found out. So why do you have so little respect for your girlfriend?

I honestly don't see it as a lack of respect.

 

[PadWarrior]

Only on GAF can you find a person bragging about cheating but then not be okay if his girl does it. What is wrong with people?

 

[Lego Boss]

What utter nonsense weren't you yourself a new member once? Think it made sense back then for people to dismissed all you said because you were new?

Everyone is entitled to an opinion - except juniors!

I got this shit when I was a junior.

It's like GAF's own caste system. Leave it out.

 

[TheOfficeMut]

Ultimately, then, it's on you. No one is ever going to be as strong an advocate for your own life as you will be. If you can't help yourself, there's not much that can be done.

You can't control other people's selfish actions. You can control your responses to those actions. I'm sure this girl has had a litany of friends and acquaintances tell her what is really obvious to everyone watching a few minutes of video. If she doesn't make a break it's her fault at that point. Definition of insanity and all that.

Also, I get the point of 'she can do better', but focusing on the fact that she's attractive seems like it's undercutting her. No, ugly people don't deserve to be cheated on any more than her, and it doesn't matter if you're less attractive, you should be getting out of those relationships anyhow.



After all the Gamergate alt accounts and the "Be sensitive about the Nazis" stuff recently, I've given up on expecting juniors to have any sort of worthwhile insight.

You're being naïve. There are chemical responses and your brain changes in so many ways that it becomes difficult to leave just because it's the obvious thing to do. There are things going on in your brain that affect your decisions that you have no control over.

It's actually pretty shitty to say that it's "on you" to people who want to leave an abusive relationship but find it extremely difficult or nearly impossible to. It's not black and white. Just because you may have found it easy to do does not mean everyone else does.

 

[hodgy100]

I honestly don't see it as a lack of respect.

why? Her wishes are that you would stay loyal to her and you trample over her trust? how is that not disrespectful. you must care very little for her wellbeing.

 

[John Kowalski]

Ultimately, then, it's on you. No one is ever going to be as strong an advocate for your own life as you will be. If you can't help yourself, there's not much that can be done.

That's beside the point. If you make people feel bad for being weak, they will stay weak. Thinking that it's only normal for people to have the strength of will to break up a long relationship in an instant because their partner cheated on them is ridiculous. A lot of people don't.

Also, on another point... yes people will advocate the lives of others more than they themselves will. It happens all the time, and people help others all the time too. Forcing onto people this perception that if they can't help themselves no one else will help them is ridiculous and simply untrue.

 

[deleted]

I'm not saying open relationships are bad, but they're not for everyone. Despite my infidelity, they're not suited to me and my girlfriend.

I never said I'm not happy in the relationship either, we're both happy. We're got a nice future set and we'll be moving in together later this year. I personally don't feel fulfilled by our sex life, so I go elsewhere for fulfilling sex.
There's more to a relationship than sex, and I'm happy in every other aspect of our relationship so I don't see a reason to split up.


What are condoms?

Might be extrapolating here, but does she even know you're not happy with your sex life?

And why wouldn't an open relationship work for you? You wouldn't even have to communicate about it other than setting the terms (one could be: We can sleep around, but we don't talk about it).

You seem to be fine with it, but it's a really fucked up thing to do to your partner. There are loads of people that would be fine with being in an open relationship - especially long distance. And you sound like you'll just continue like that, even when the long distance part ends.
I'm pretty sure that it will blow up in your face. And it will be even worse when you arrived in your 'nice future'.
You most likely have already thought about this and pushed it aside, but think about how much you are hurting her, how you are violating her trust and - if you want to think more about egoistical motivations - how horrible the situation will be for you too, when this stuff comes out.

 

[TheOfficeMut]

I honestly don't see it as a lack of respect.

Wow, you're fucking dense. It's disrespectful to do something to someone that they do not like. Shit like this is implicit. Are you a teenager? I'm really curious.

 

[Foggy]

This catatonic motherfucker. Doesn't even sound like he has a genuine bone in his body, just spouts vagueries.

 

[Lego Boss]

Been cheated on by a girl, it sucks, but that is life. In the end when people cheat it is psychological issues that need to be addressed and most of the time the cheater will not accept that. Most of the time it stems from narcissism, co-dependence, sociopathy, or even psychopathy. People can change but in the end most either don't or it takes them a long time to do so (if they are even interested).

No way that it is that extreme. The ignorance on display here is spellbinding (not only in your post, but across the board). It is much more likely that the person, or relationship is missing something.

Most people don't even want to cheat (certainly not sexually), they find themselves being listened to, appreciated or valued unlike they are in their own relationship. They find that they have emotionally crossed the line AND THEN sexually, which is the opposite of how it happens in 'conventional' relationships.

The victim/guilty party dichotomy just doesn't apply anymore. Realtionships are complex and affairs even more so given as they involve a third party and secret lives, there really needs to be a new understanding of the paradigm around cheating.

Also, attributing it to mental illness, is reductive and insulting to those who have a mental illness and to those who have been involved in affairs.