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Why Did You Cheat? Two Exes Confront Each Other About Infidelity

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why? Her wishes are that you would stay loyal to her and you trample over her trust? how is that not disrespectful. you must care very little for her wellbeing.
I just don't see it that way. If I was brazenly cheating on her, not caring if she found out, etc. Then I'd see that as disrespectful and hurtful, and I'd agree that shows a lack of care for her wellbeing.
However, I don't do that.
 

TheOfficeMut

Unconfirmed Member
I just don't see it that way. If I was brazenly cheating on her, not caring if she found out, etc. Then I'd see that as disrespectful and hurtful, and I'd agree that shows a lack of care for her wellbeing.
However, I don't do that.

Hold the fuck up. You don't find it disrespectful because you care if she found out you were cheating, as opposed to not caring if she found out, which to you is disrespectful?
 
I just don't see it that way. If I was brazenly cheating on her, not caring if she found out, etc. Then I'd see that as disrespectful and hurtful, and I'd agree that shows a lack of care for her wellbeing.
However, I don't do that.
Actually, I'd see that as being honest. Instead, you care that she shouldn't find out, so you lie to her and keep your sexual cheating away from here. That's worse that you're intentionally keeping her in the dark.
 

Ivan 3414

Member
This video is fake fake fake. Both are actors, the guy in particular doesn't act well, but the girl does alright. "You helped me with my groceries upstairs, ohh teehee you were such a gentleman"

*7 minutes of overly-produced footage*

This might as well be from a reality show or Maury.

Like someone said earlier, considering how big this has blown up, if this is actually fake we will find out soon enough.
 
Hold the fuck up. You don't find it disrespectful because you care if she found out you were cheating, as opposed to not caring if she found out, which to you is disrespectful?
I don't find it disrespectful because I take care in making sure she doesn't find out, yes.
As opposed to brazenly cheating on her, and not caring if she finds out which would lead to her feeling emotionally hurt.

I understand you may not see a difference between the two, or find the former to be worse than the latter.
 

TheOfficeMut

Unconfirmed Member
I don't find it disrespectful because I take care in making sure she doesn't find out, yes.
As opposed to brazenly cheating on her, and not caring if she finds out which would lead to her feeling emotionally hurt.

I understand you may not see a difference between the two, or find the former to be worse than the latter.

No, you don't understand shit. You're looking for an excuse to justify your actions so that you feel better about what you're doing and you chose the dumbest fucking reason to stand behind. You've got some fucking nerve to suggest that the action of cheating isn't disrespectful, but instead whether or not you care for your significant other to find out, which to you makes all the difference.

I wish I had your girl's number, I'd blow up your god damn spot so fast. You don't deserve shit, for real.
 

ShyMel

Member
I don't find it disrespectful because I take care in making sure she doesn't find out, yes.
As opposed to brazenly cheating on her, and not caring if she finds out which would lead to her feeling emotionally hurt.

I understand you may not see a difference between the two, or find the former to be worse than the latter.

Cheating on your partner, whether they know or not is disrespectful. If you are not sexually compatible with your girlfriend you should break up with her. Do you not think that if y'all move in together that the chances of her finding out increases? Or that eventually one of the women you cheat on her with might want to get close to you or will find out about your girlfriend and try to contact her?
 
This thread...

Anyways, I do find the point he brings up about her searching through his phone and computer interesting because, well, why? She says it's because she didn't trust him, but why? Is there a part of the timeline I'm missing? She says she found out he was cheating after she looked through his phone, and then found him with another girl later on, right? Am I missing something?
 

deleted

Member
I don't find it disrespectful because I take care in making sure she doesn't find out, yes.
As opposed to brazenly cheating on her, and not caring if she finds out which would lead to her feeling emotionally hurt.

I understand you may not see a difference between the two, or find the former to be worse than the latter.

That's twisted.

You are not doing her a favor by cheating to get over your sex live. It's not a good thing you do - it's the opposite.
 

Lego Boss

Member
No, you don't understand shit. You're looking for an excuse to justify your actions so that you feel better about what you're doing and you chose the dumbest fucking reason to stand behind. You've got some fucking nerve to suggest that the action of cheating isn't disrespectful, but instead whether or not you care for your significant other to find out, which to you makes all the difference.

I wish I had your girl's number, I'd blow up your god damn spot so fast. You don't deserve shit, for real.

Wow. Careful you don't hurt yourself, your head is bumping off the moral high ground.
 
I don't find it disrespectful because I take care in making sure she doesn't find out, yes.
As opposed to brazenly cheating on her, and not caring if she finds out which would lead to her feeling emotionally hurt.

I understand you may not see a difference between the two, or find the former to be worse than the latter.

How would you feel if she has been cheating on you?
 

TheOfficeMut

Unconfirmed Member
Wow. Careful you don't hurt yourself, your head is bumping off the moral high ground.

I'll happily jump off the moral high ground in this situation because the person I am responding to is spewing some of the most nonsense I have ever heard. I've been cheated on and I've also cheated and we were both disrespectful for doing it. But I'll be damned if someone tries to excuse his cheating by scapegoating "I care if she found out" as the reason for why he isn't disrespectful.

I don't normally like to paint things black and white, even when it comes to infidelity, but there's nothing right about that opinion. It's pathetic and sociopathic.
 

ant_

not characteristic of ants at all
No way that it is that extreme. The ignorance on display here is spellbinding (not only in your post, but across the board). It is much more likely that the person, or relationship is missing something.

Most people don't even want to cheat (certainly not sexually), they find themselves being listened to, appreciated or valued unlike they are in their own relationship. They find that they have emotionally crossed the line AND THEN sexually, which is the opposite of how it happens in 'conventional' relationships.

The victim/guilty party dichotomy just doesn't apply anymore. Realtionships are complex and affairs even more so given as they involve a third party and secret lives, there really needs to be a new understanding of the paradigm around cheating.

Also, attributing it to mental illness, is reductive and insulting to those who have a mental illness and to those who have been involved in affairs.
You laugh at the simplicity of his reasons that people chest, and then you offer an equally simplified explanation and say 'relationships are complicated.'

The fact of the matter is, you're both right. People cheat for all different reasons. There is no easily identifiable reason that you can expand to all cheaters. Each case is completely different.

And yes, some of it does come down to mental illness. I don't understand why you think that's reductive or insulting. And yes, some people cheat because they want to. Wtf is this? Most people have full agency over their own actions.


I don't find it disrespectful because I take care in making sure she doesn't find out, yes.
As opposed to brazenly cheating on her, and not caring if she finds out which would lead to her feeling emotionally hurt.

I understand you may not see a difference between the two, or find the former to be worse than the latter.

Do you agree that one of the most important aspects of a relationship is open and honest communication? Seeing you justify your cheating is fine. I'm completely fine if you want to be in a relationship and have sex with other women. But be honest to your partner. You're lying to and deceiving her, even if you are doing it in the nicest way possible.
 
Cheating on your partner, whether they know or not is disrespectful. If you are not sexually compatible with your girlfriend you should break up with her. Do you not think that if y'all move in together that the chances of her finding out increases? Or that eventually one of the women you cheat on her with might want to get close to you or will find out about your girlfriend and try to contact her?
I do realise that will complicate things, and I'll either have to stop or come clean. In which case, I'll stop seeing and speaking to other women.

No, you don't understand shit. You're looking for an excuse to justify your actions so that you feel better about what you're doing and you chose the dumbest fucking reason to stand behind. You've got some fucking nerve to suggest that the action of cheating isn't disrespectful, but instead whether or not you care for your significant other to find out, which to you makes all the difference.

I wish I had your girl's number, I'd blow up your god damn spot so fast. You don't deserve shit, for real.
Your armour is so shiny, do you buff and polish it daily?
 

TheOfficeMut

Unconfirmed Member
I do realise that will complicate things, and I'll either have to stop or come clean. In which case, I'll stop seeing and speaking to other women.


Your armour is so shiny, do you buff and polish it daily?

Don't try to deflect. Your opinion is twisted and you should speak to a professional.
 

Lego Boss

Member
You laugh at the simplicity of his reasons that people chest, and then you offer an equally simplified explanation and say 'relationships are complicated.'

The fact of the matter is, you're both right. People cheat for all different reasons. There is no easily identifiable reason that you can expand to all cheaters. Each case is completely different.

And yes, some of it does come down to mental illness. I don't understand why you think that's reductive or insulting. And yes, some people cheat because they want to. Wtf is this? Most people have full agency over their own actions.

You have just argued against yourself. If people are mentally ill how can they have full control over their actions?

And no, the majority is not due to mental illness and to suggest that it is, is insulting to people with mental illness as it is assumptive and reductive.
 

ant_

not characteristic of ants at all
You have just argued against yourself. If people are mentally ill how can they have full control over their actions?

And no, the majority is not due to mental illness and to suggest that it is, is insulting to people with mental illness as it is assumptive and reductive.

That's why I used the word "most." Nowhere did I say the "majority is due to mental illness."

I'm actually curious if you even read my post.
 
We are not owners of our partners.


She isn't getting dick elsewhere, and she doesn't know what I've done behind her back.
She's seen messages on my phone from another girl in the past and I lied through my teeth to get out of her suspicion. I'm not proud of that, but it is what it is.



Nope and nope.

I recognise that makes me a hypocrite, but in all honesty, if I found out she slept with another man then I would leave her.

That makes you a misogynist tbh.
 

Lego Boss

Member
That's why I used the word "most." Nowhere did I say the "majority is due to mental illness."

I'm actually curious if you even read my post.

'Most'. Is that more or less than 50%? If it is more, is that a majority or not?

If I eat 'most' of the chocolate bar is there still half left, or more or less than half?

If you're going to use pednatry to defend you position, at least make sure your position is defensible in the first place.
 

ant_

not characteristic of ants at all
We are not owners of our partners.

Want to expand?

'Most'. Is that more or less than 50%? If it is more, is that a majority or not?

If I eat 'most' of the chocolate bar is there still half left, or more or less than half?

If you're going to use pednatry to defend you position, at least make sure your position is defensible in the first place.

Dude, jesus. Here's what I said. I'll quote it for you since you seem to have trouble scrolling up & re-reading.

"SOME of it comes down to mental illness." - this in no way implies a majority.
"SOME people cheat because they want to" - this in no way implies a majority.
"MOST people have agency over their own actions" - the only instance in which I use "most." It remains true. Most people do indeed have full control over their own actions.
 

Lego Boss

Member
Want to expand?



Dude, jesus. Here's what I said. I'll quote it for you since you seem to have trouble scrolling up & re-reading.

"SOME of it comes down to mental illness." - this in no way implies a majority.
"SOME people cheat because they want to" - this in no way implies a majority.
"MOST people have agency over their own actions" - the only instance in which I use "most." It remains true. Most people do indeed have full control over their own actions.

OK. You win.
 

TheStruggler

Report me for trolling ND/TLoU2 threads
I do realise that will complicate things, and I'll either have to stop or come clean. In which case, I'll stop seeing and speaking to other women.


Your armour is so shiny, do you buff and polish it daily?

drive by post that doesn't mean anything but in all honesty I think you are afraid to be alone, you can get sex whenever you want however you need a relationship and need to feel loved and cared for or else its just empty sex meaning nothing and in the end you will have nothing. Are you being satisfied sure because you are getting the sex you want but also the closeness of a realtionship. You don't break up with her because in the end you need her because you don't want to be alone even though you obviously don't care about her and her feelings because if you did you would be honest with her. You are a hypocrite because its fine for you to get what you want but you stated yourself you are not ok with her cheating and you would leave her whislt not being able to be a man and admit your faults to someone who clearly cares for you. You won't ever admit what you did because "she will forgive you" she will most likely toss you to the curb and you will be alone for quite some time.
 

Malyse

Member
Sr3mrfK.png

https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?...=a.25723208418.32372.595628418&type=3&theater


They are real people. This picture is from October 2015
 
dark souls avatar and a sociopath, seems about right

i also wish the girl could just see he used her for the sex. she might think he's her best friend but in his mind i doubt it's anywhere close to that
 
drive by post that doesn't mean anything but in all honesty I think you are afraid to be alone, you can get sex whenever you want however you need a relationship and need to feel loved and cared for or else its just empty sex meaning nothing and in the end you will have nothing. Are you being satisfied sure because you are getting the sex you want but also the closeness of a realtionship. You don't break up with her because in the end you need her because you don't want to be alone...
I can agree with all of the above


...even though you obviously don't care about her and her feelings because if you did you would be honest with her.

However this I can't agree with, at all. No amount of GAF dog piling will change my mind because I know I genuinely care about her, regardless of the times I've cheated on her.

You are a hypocrite because its fine for you to get what you want but you stated yourself you are not ok with her cheating and you would leave her whislt not being able to be a man and admit your faults to someone who clearly cares for you. You won't ever admit what you did because "she will forgive you" she will most likely toss you to the curb and you will be alone for quite some time.

FWIW, she would forgive. I know that with certainty.
 

Gattsu25

Banned
This video is fake fake fake. Both are actors, the guy in particular doesn't act well, but the girl does alright. "You helped me with my groceries upstairs, ohh teehee you were such a gentleman"

*7 minutes of overly-produced footage*

This might as well be from a reality show or Maury.

Have a link to their imdb pages?
 

OldRoutes

Member
That was so sad and beautiful at the same time... There's something so vulnerable about those questions, and how stone-cold he looks when he answers, but you can clearly see he's bothered by being honest...
 
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