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[The Lamonster]

I don't know, to my credit I've never been caught therefore there hasn't been any hurt as result of it.

The oblivious betrayed partner is still being hurt. It's impossible to fully commit yourself to a relationship if you're giving some of yourself to someone else at the same time.

 

[Usobuko]

I gotta say GAF, my life is currently in ruin. I recently discovered my wife had been having an affair with a coworker for 1.5 years. I found out, kicked her out of the house and we're probably going to get divorced. We have a 2 year-old (yes, she started an affair when we had a ~6 month-old) so it sucks even more.

This thread has made me feel a little better. I've been sticking to my guns about us being done forever but it's not easy...it's hard to let go even when you've been treated like shit. Good to hear that's normal.

Better things will come along, so put your best effort in enriching your life meanwhile.

 

[Goldboy]

I gotta say GAF, my life is currently in ruin. I recently discovered my wife had been having an affair with a coworker for 1.5 years. I found out, kicked her out of the house and we're probably going to get divorced. We have a 2 year-old (yes, she started an affair when we had a ~6 month-old) so it sucks even more.

This thread has made me feel a little better. I've been sticking to my guns about us being done forever but it's not easy...it's hard to let go even when you've been treated like shit. Good to hear that's normal.

I don't have anything to say other than that's really rough and I hope things turn around for you soon.

 

[MulderYuffie]

I had a few boyfriends in my past whom we were both involved in what i'd consider a "monogamish" relationship we would only play together with others all fine and good two of these relationships ended over time for various reasons that'd say didn't have to do with this lifestyle. Eventually I met the man of my dreams named George we had so much fun together and while we also had this lifestyle nothing felt off I loved him we were great for each other he'd always whisper sweet nothings in my ear and really seem genuine in all the important things he say.

I knew every now and again he'd dabble into hard drugs (meth) but I did not see what i'm about to say at all. We ended up one night taking a guy back with us to George's place and the experience just felt off guy seemed off and kinda snooty way more into George it was so obvious so night ended and we drove this dude uhhh "almost to his house" like he didn't want us knowing where he lived but told us to drop him off there. Cool didn't see this guy for awhile even around town. Everything between me and George is normal but after a few months I start getting suspicions he is playing around with other guys behind my back I did snoop a bit as I could. I wished to everything in the world i'd be wrong anything. This is around the time the date cancellation excuses and "i haven't beel feeling well" which come to think of it now may not have been excuse....it was at least part of one though.

I got a sneaking suspicion to go to our local hangout/bar when George said he wasn't feeling up to it (the norm by now). So i'm there and after awhile George walks in WITH THIS GUY WE HOOED UP WITH MONTHS AGO!!! George passed right by me to talk to someone for a minute as I confronted this guy who had the biggest shit eating grin and told me everything I feared the guy I was so in lvoe with had been seeing him for months not even just messing around but literally dating him they had started cooking meth together too all our relationship rules broke and trust shattered. I then confronted George with uncontrollable tears running down from my eyes why? Every excuse was said even if some of them seemed to be aimed at me I asked him for one last night (the next night) to talk and he agreed. After the evening continued onward they dropped me off back home.

I had to think qucik so the next day I bought him a ring I know it was crazy but I needd him back so that night he picked me up and we talked I gave him the ring which he could not take and refused e told me even though what he had been saying previously that I deserved better than him that I deserved someone who will treat me right. We kissed and hugged the lnogest I ever hugged anyone I think and he dropped me off back home as I saw him drive off a big chapter of my life closed. In August 2011 I entered my still current relationship. In late May of 2014 I was notified thst George was deathly sick in the Hospital he was there for a few days in and out of consciousness I was told and asked if I would go see him I was dodgy about the questions but I ultimately ended up not going. He died shortly after and I didn't go to the funeral either even though I was asked to. Oddly enough I regret not going to see him I might have got some half ass closure before but maybe to jsut get closure for good the closure I will never get now. I am happily in my current relationship now but I still love you George!

 

[entremet]

Young good looking guy with many options.

Hard not to see that coming. He's just not ready for monogamy and may never be.

This is the whole sowing your wild oats concept has been a thing for centuries. The tough thing for the woman is that she does seem truly in love. It's pretty sad, but she needs to rip the bandaid and move on.

 

[Face it Tiger..]

seems scripted.

 

[Random Painted HIghway]

I gotta say GAF, my life is currently in ruin. I recently discovered my wife had been having an affair with a coworker for 1.5 years. I found out, kicked her out of the house and we're probably going to get divorced. We have a 2 year-old (yes, she started an affair when we had a ~6 month-old) so it sucks even more.

This thread has made me feel a little better. I've been sticking to my guns about us being done forever but it's not easy...it's hard to let go even when you've been treated like shit. Good to hear that's normal.

Jesus. That sounds like a nightmare, I have 2 little ones myself. What tipped you off, If I might ask?

 

[The Lamonster]

Jesus. That sounds like a nightmare, I have 2 little ones myself. What tipped you off, If I might ask?

It has felt like a nightmare. It's been 2 months of living a nightmare. Nothing this bad has ever happened to me.

She had a one night stand in 2012 so I've always been paranoid with her. Fool me once... Anyway I had my suspicions about this dude for a while but she was good at hiding it and always denied everything saying I was too paranoid.

Once my anxiety reached an all-time high, I decided to look through her phone. Nothing readily apparent in texts or Snapchat but then I searched her work email for the guy's name and they had daily sexual communication and planning meetups etc. I took some screenshots with my phone and confronted her right afterwards. Then she told me it was a 16 month affair and still going on. She broke it off immediately and has been working to better herself through medication and therapy but it's too late.

It'd be so easy to take her back but I'd be haunted by this for the rest of my life, and always worrying about her cheating on me when we're not physically together.

 

[MulderYuffie]

It has felt like a nightmare. It's been 2 months of living a nightmare. Nothing this bad has ever happened to me.

She had a one night stand in 2012 so I've always been paranoid with her. Fool me once... Anyway I had my suspicions about this dude for a while but she was good at hiding it and always denied everything saying I was too paranoid.

Once my anxiety reached an all-time high, I decided to look through her phone. Nothing readily apparent in texts or Snapchat but then I searched her work email for the guy's name and they had daily sexual communication and planning meetups etc. I took some screenshots with my phone and confronted her right afterwards. Then she told me it was a 16 month affair and still going on. She broke it off immediately and has been working to better herself through medication and therapy but it's too late.

It'd be so easy to take her back but I'd be haunted by this for the rest of my life, and always worrying about her cheating on me when we're not physically together.

They are always sorry when caught huh? Not worth it sadly move on it was easy for her for a year and a half and she'll do it again.

 

[Random Painted HIghway]

It has felt like a nightmare. It's been 2 months of living a nightmare. Nothing this bad has ever happened to me.

She had a one night stand in 2012 so I've always been paranoid with her. Fool me once... Anyway I had my suspicions about this dude for a while but she was good at hiding it and always denied everything saying I was too paranoid.

Once my anxiety reached an all-time high, I decided to look through her phone. Nothing readily apparent in texts or Snapchat but then I searched her work email for the guy's name and they had daily sexual communication and planning meetups etc. I took some screenshots with my phone and confronted her right afterwards. Then she told me it was a 16 month affair and still going on. She broke it off immediately and has been working to better herself through medication and therapy but it's too late.

It'd be so easy to take her back but I'd be haunted by this for the rest of my life, and always worrying about her cheating on me when we're not physically together.

That does sounds terrible. And with the timing of the affair coming so quickly after the birth of your child, I couldn't help but be paranoid about paternity testing there either, which is really shitty to even consider the implications. That she was actively engaged in the affair when you caught her and she only broke it off due to your discovery, seems like she's a good candidate to backslide there unfortunately. A shit situation all around but seems like you have no choice.

 

[The Lamonster]

That does sounds terrible. And with the timing of the affair coming so quickly after the birth of your child, I couldn't help but be paranoid about paternity testing there either, which is really shitty to even consider the implications. That she was actively engaged in the affair when you caught her and she only broke it off due to your discovery, seems like she's a good candidate to backslide there unfortunately. A shit situation all around but seems like you have no choice.

Exactly. I struggled with "the decision" until I realized there was never really a decision to be made.

The kid is mine. She's my mini-me. Also the other guy is a different race.

 

[Spinluck]

This thread and watching Dr. Foster makes me want to be single forever.

I'm a coward.

At my current job, I work with an incredibly attractive co-worker who makes off handed sexual remarks towards me. She has made some pretty clear advances and I'm guilty of responding, and flirting back. She once called me to the back offices to "help her move something," but instead back her ass up onto my crotch while pulling this cart out. I would've acted by now but she is married, and married to one of the managers at that.

I don't want to be that guy who fucks a married chick and destroys the husband's life. I just think about if it were me in his situation. Getting laid is not too hard nowadays, especially if you're that desperate. But man, just today I saw her husband, her, and their 3 kids during work today. And she's all smiles with him and the dude has no clue. Seems a bit on the crazy side, kind of makes me more reluctant to make a move tbh. Some sociopathic shit.

It's really hard to just ignore her since I see her on most mornings that I work.

 

[Spinluck]

It has felt like a nightmare. It's been 2 months of living a nightmare. Nothing this bad has ever happened to me.

She had a one night stand in 2012 so I've always been paranoid with her. Fool me once... Anyway I had my suspicions about this dude for a while but she was good at hiding it and always denied everything saying I was too paranoid.

Once my anxiety reached an all-time high, I decided to look through her phone. Nothing readily apparent in texts or Snapchat but then I searched her work email for the guy's name and they had daily sexual communication and planning meetups etc. I took some screenshots with my phone and confronted her right afterwards. Then she told me it was a 16 month affair and still going on. She broke it off immediately and has been working to better herself through medication and therapy but it's too late.

It'd be so easy to take her back but I'd be haunted by this for the rest of my life, and always worrying about her cheating on me when we're not physically together.

Fuck man, I'm sorry to hear that.

 

[Samurai G0SU]

I gotta say GAF, my life is currently in ruin. I recently discovered my wife had been having an affair with a coworker for 1.5 years. I found out, kicked her out of the house and we're probably going to get divorced. We have a 2 year-old (yes, she started an affair when we had a ~6 month-old) so it sucks even more.

This thread has made me feel a little better. I've been sticking to my guns about us being done forever but it's not easy...it's hard to let go even when you've been treated like shit. Good to hear that's normal.

Fuck man.
.im really sorry to hear that... im going through some similar shit with mine and i can relate on the feels..

2 kids; 4 and 1 1/2....

 

[lightskintwin]

It has felt like a nightmare. It's been 2 months of living a nightmare. Nothing this bad has ever happened to me.

She had a one night stand in 2012 so I've always been paranoid with her. Fool me once... Anyway I had my suspicions about this dude for a while but she was good at hiding it and always denied everything saying I was too paranoid.

Once my anxiety reached an all-time high, I decided to look through her phone. Nothing readily apparent in texts or Snapchat but then I searched her work email for the guy's name and they had daily sexual communication and planning meetups etc. I took some screenshots with my phone and confronted her right afterwards. Then she told me it was a 16 month affair and still going on. She broke it off immediately and has been working to better herself through medication and therapy but it's too late.

It'd be so easy to take her back but I'd be haunted by this for the rest of my life, and always worrying about her cheating on me when we're not physically together.

Sorry to hear about this, but unfortunately something I've seen happen all too well.

This thread and watching Dr. Foster makes me want to be single forever.

I'm a coward.

At my current job, I work with an incredibly attractive co-worker who makes off handed sexual remarks towards me. She has made some pretty clear advances and I'm guilty of responding, and flirting back. She once called me to the back offices to "help her move something," but instead back her ass up onto my crotch while pulling this cart out. I would've acted by now but she is married, and married to one of the managers at that.

I don't want to be that guy who fucks a married chick and destroys the husband's life. I just think about if it were me in his situation. Getting laid is not too hard nowadays, especially if you're that desperate. But man, just today I saw her husband, her, and their 3 kids during work today. And she's all smiles with him and the dude has no clue. Seems a bit on the crazy side, kind of makes me more reluctant to make a move tbh. Some sociopathic shit.

It's really hard to just ignore her since I see her on most mornings that I work.

I'm not gonna lie, if I really liked her and was physically/sexually attracted to her it'd be tough to ignore that temptation especially since you see her 5 days out the week. The fact her husband is the manager of the same company you work at would definitely give me pause.

 

[CanUKlehead]

I don't even know how he can look her in the eye...

But ultimately, he wasn't ready for a relationship and she was; and they're not right for each other.

Just went through this with a good friend--who happens to be an ex who cheated on me. It took 5 years for us to talk about it. She was in denial about how much she hurt me, she said, considering we got on, and she never knew I had to move on so quickly from everything (incl. how we became friendly) cause I didn't want her to feel my hurt then. (long story...emailed it to a friend from back home and it was about 40 pages of text)

I don't know if anyone gets over these things.

Just..break it off if you don't want to commit...