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Stephen King is nominated for the worst depiction of a sex scene

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S

subversus

I've done nothing with my life except eat and fap
A passage from Stephen King's novel 11.22.63, which has been nominated for this year's Bad Sex in Fiction Awards reads:

She gasped, retreated a little, then raised her hips to meet me. "Sadie? All right?"

"Ohmygodyes," she said and I laughed... "Is there more?"

"A little more," I said. "I don't know how much. I haven't been with a woman in a long time."

It turned out there was quite a bit more... At the end she began to gasp. "Oh dear, oh my dear, oh my dear dear God, oh sugar!"
Click to expand...

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/culture/...tephen-King-nominated-for-Bad-Sex-awards.html


I have mixed feeling about King. Everything up to The Dark Tower V: Wolves of the Calla was great (except, Regulators). But his books after this were hit and miss for me.

Duma Key - great.

Just After Sunset - great

Cell - ok

The Colorado Kid - I don't get it, stopped reading.

Which of his books are suitable for reading past the year 2000?
 
P

PhoenixDark

Banned
66segoy
 
D

Devolution

Member
I feel like I should record that, or better yet blurt that out just to fuck with the bf.

"Oh dear, oh my dear, oh my dear dear God, oh sugar!"
 
L

Lionel Mandrake

Member
My friend insists that a majority of King's works are ghostwritten. I haven't read enough to see if there is a noticeable difference in quality/style, but my friend has read pretty much all of his stuff, and is generally pretty knowledgeable about these things. King's frequency is pretty impressive if he doesn't use ghostwriters.
 
A

Ajemsuhgao

Member
Devolution said:
I feel like I should record that, or better yet blurt that out just to fuck with the bf.

"Oh dear, oh my dear, oh my dear dear God, oh sugar!"
Click to expand...
I was going to say the same thing, but my girlfriend is a GAFfer, and there is no way I could keep a straight face while doing so.
 
S

subversus

I've done nothing with my life except eat and fap
Lionel Mandrake said:
My friend insists that a majority of King's works are ghostwritten. I haven't read enough to see if there is a noticeable difference in quality/style, but my friend has read pretty much all of his stuff, and is generally pretty knowledgeable about these things. King's frequency is pretty impressive if he doesn't use ghostwriters.
Click to expand...

yeah, there were people who think like that since Dickens. Most King's works feature a very distinct feel that's not possible to reproduce. He has his own energy which is very distinct. There are prolific writers who have it easy and go with the flow and there are not prolific writers who are thinking out every word.
 
D

Devolution

Member
I was too busy laughing at the woman's dialogue and missed really reading this.

"A little more," I said. "I don't know how much. I haven't been with a woman in a long time."
Click to expand...

Does that mean he's back to minute man status or what?
 
A

akira28

Member
I think they're doing it doggy in the dark so she doesn't know how massive Mr. Member is, hence all the romantic "is it in yet?" type questioning.

(my mind really fights hard to make sense of all this)
 
D

Dresden

Member
akira28 said:
I think they're doing it doggy in the dark so she doesn't know how massive Mr. Member is, hence all the romantic "is it in yet?" type questioning.

(my mind really fights hard to make sense of all this)
Click to expand...

I think he just has a really small dick so the woman is trying to make him feel better by acting out lines from porn.
 
O

Ohwiseone

Member
I read Under the Dome, I didn't like it..

I want to try this one out, but I don't want to be burned like I was at the end of that book.
 
M

milkyjay20

Member
i can't stop laughing

Of All Trades said:
Actually the new book (the one with the sex scene) is supposed to be really good. Like Top 5 King Novels good.
Click to expand...

yeah, i sincerely doubt that. from what i've heard, it's mostly about 60s era minutia. considering that all his books feel like they're channeling the 60s rather than the present, and considering that king regards jfk as the second coming, i feel like this is going to have all of the unbearable aspects of his writing rolled into one.

under the dome is pretty good tho. the antagonist was very interesting, the pace was at breakneck speed for such a large book, and the gradual downfall of the town itself was fascinating to watch.

faceless007 said:
Thought this was going to be about the
gangbang of 12-year-olds
in It.

ETA spoiler tags.
Click to expand...

me too. wtf was wrong with him when he wrote that, and why was it so detailed? i still don't know how doing that saved the world either.
 
T

TheSeks

Blinded by the luminous glory that is David Bowie's physical manifestation.
Devolution said:
I was too busy laughing at the woman's dialogue and missed really reading this.



Does that mean he's back to minute man status or what?
Click to expand...

No, I think after he put it in her, she's asking "is that it?" Just not in terms of "LOL DICK SIZE" in terms of "is this all there is to sex?"
 
M

meadowrag

Banned
subversus said:
no, it is. But I don't believe it is that good with this piece of text in it.
Click to expand...

I'm not thrilled to be put into the role of defending that hack Stephen King, but I doubt that the sex scene is indicative of the rest of the text.

It's a sex scene. They're mostly always bad. And in King's case, notoriously bad.
 
D

David H Wong

Banned
Lionel Mandrake said:
My friend insists that a majority of King's works are ghostwritten. I haven't read enough to see if there is a noticeable difference in quality/style, but my friend has read pretty much all of his stuff, and is generally pretty knowledgeable about these things. King's frequency is pretty impressive if he doesn't use ghostwriters.
Click to expand...

He actually addresses this in On Writing, that he's nowhere near the most prolific author of all time. Dean Koontz has written more, and there are mystery writers who have written FAR more. It's just that his books get a lot of publicity so you notice them coming out, where some direct-to-paperback crime author can crank out four books a year and you didn't notice.

When you write a lot you can develop a process and a formula that makes it go really fast, you learn to not get hung up on plot sticking points that you can solve later. Obviously that's not true for everybody, Douglas Adams was never a writing machine and George RR Martin takes his time. But it's unfair to accuse him of passing off a ghostwriter's work as his own. If you're writing full time you can get 6-7 finished pages a day, and a good sized novel done in half a year even if you take weekends off.
 
H

Hero_of_the_Day

Member
akira28 said:
mf'ing wat?
Click to expand...

If I remember correctly, after the kids beat "It" they all fuck the girl as a way of solidifying their bond. Not in a "now we're friends forever" but like it is some magical sacred bond kind of thing. It's pretty fucking weird. I always thought King was pretty awful when it comes to talking about anything that has to do with sex/nudity. That shit in the OP is pretty great though.
 
N

NotTheGuyYouKill

Member
akira28 said:
Nadine and the geeky teenager, Harold. Since she' saving her virginity for Flagg, she seduces him with "everything else but".
Click to expand...

I recall a scene where she's pretty begging him to... vaginally penetrate her, in her head.

What a weird book. The Stand isn't exactly one of my favourites.
 
S

subversus

I've done nothing with my life except eat and fap
faceless007 said:
Thought this was going to be about the
gangbang of 12-year-olds
in It.

ETA spoiler tags.
Click to expand...

oh shit. Somehow that didn't look strange to me at the time because the rest of the book is fucked up. I don't even remember that scene.
 
M

milkyjay20

Member
NotTheGuyYouKill said:
I recall a scene where she's pretty begging him to... vaginally penetrate her, in her head.

What a weird book. The Stand isn't exactly one of my favourites.
Click to expand...

the stand is probably my least favorite of all his novels. i'm not really into his work anymore, but i still love the dark tower series, even the much-maligned last three volumes.
 
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