Killer Queen
Banned
Looking to start a counter kink trend?
-
Hey, guest user. Hope you're enjoying NeoGAF! Have you considered registering for an account? Come join us and add your take to the daily discourse.
Embarrassing slips of the tongue
- Thread starter ClayKavalier
- Start date
- Status
Looking to start a counter kink trend?
SocksAndShoes
Banned
I told my extremely conservative grandmother that my girlfriend and I were going to the lesbian restaurant tomorrow.
I meant to say Lebanese.
I meant to say Lebanese.
well there is a tree that has pollen that smells of semen...
someone did this in class in second grade and I still remember
way more
Member
Kenshin001
Member
I was in the elevator at work and meant to ask the lady who entered after me, "nan kai desuka?" which means "which floor?" in Japanese. Instead I said "nan sai desuka?" which means "how old are you?".
I call my wife lover; I work from home 2 days a week and if we aren't particularly social over the weekend she might be the only person I talk to for 4 days.
Pretty easy for me to then accidentally call someone lover; lol. Don't think anyone has ever noticed tho as I somehow pull it off.
Pretty easy for me to then accidentally call someone lover; lol. Don't think anyone has ever noticed tho as I somehow pull it off.
Metaphoreus
This is semantics, and nothing more
Wait--were you typing with your tongue? I feel like that's the real story here.
They noticed.
I just remembered another one. When I was 17 I worked at a movie theater and we had an employee named Liz who was in a wheelchair. This theater was connected to a mall. Liz took her lunch break in the mall in the food court.
I was working in the ticket booth, phone rang-I answer it and it's Liz's mom asking for her. I quickly said "She actually just stepped out."
O_________________________________________O
I was working in the ticket booth, phone rang-I answer it and it's Liz's mom asking for her. I quickly said "She actually just stepped out."
O_________________________________________O
supernormal
Member
This is more like a reverse flip of the tongue but just as cringey, and it happened all the time.
So I was best friends with this girl who had a boyfriend. Occasionally I would go to her house and spend time as friends with both of them. The confusion would arise when she'd say something like "baby, get me some water please" and me and her boyfriend would both get up to get her water. Ultimate cringe. I would have to play it off like, I was going to the bathroom or smoke a cig.
So I was best friends with this girl who had a boyfriend. Occasionally I would go to her house and spend time as friends with both of them. The confusion would arise when she'd say something like "baby, get me some water please" and me and her boyfriend would both get up to get her water. Ultimate cringe. I would have to play it off like, I was going to the bathroom or smoke a cig.
I think I've only said it to my project manager at work; she doesn't listen to half of what I say anyways lol.
A coworker was talking about how they didn't want to go somewhere because they felt like there were going to be a lot of young people there.
I responded with "don't worry, there will be old people there too" and then I realized what I insinuated.
That reminds me of this summer, when I worked at a day camp. We were all college age except for one counselor, who was in her mid-thirties. Anyway, I had been reading Holes (the Louis Sachar book) out loud to my campers all summer, and when I finished finally in the last week of camp, we went to a dance party with the rest of the camp (I had fourth and fifth graders, camp went from grade 1-8.)
Anyway, I was taking a kid to the water fountain at the party where I ran into the counselor, and she commented that she "had never read Holes as a kid, I was more into girly novels when I was younger." Me not even thinking, I commented "I think Holes might've been a bit after your time, it was new-ish when I was a kid." She caught on, and said "I was 10-years-old in 1990." I immediately started panicking and was so embarrassed. Holes was published in 1998, so I defended myself by saying she wouldn't have read in high school.
Still super embarrassing.
At my job we have an instant messaging program to communicate. My position is basically a central position where I have to provide support to a lot of employees at once so I have tons of IM convos open and am multitasking to the max.
I frequently have typed "give me a sex" instead of "give me a sec" to managers, directors, etc. They've all been pretty cool about it lol.
The X is right next to the C so I don't feel that bad about it.
I frequently have typed "give me a sex" instead of "give me a sec" to managers, directors, etc. They've all been pretty cool about it lol.
The X is right next to the C so I don't feel that bad about it.
Shining Sunshine
Banned
Since I'm Canadian, I actually do say Sorry a lot.
Like when someone thanks me, I sometimes say to them "Sorry".
Like when someone thanks me, I sometimes say to them "Sorry".
The Hermit
Member
TheKaeptain
Banned
It's pretty common.
Spaaaaaaaaace
Member
Some guy told me he had the same shirt as me and I said "Thanks"
this actually made me laugh hahaha
Something like this happened to me a couple of days ago. Keep in mind that I'm from Peru and we speak Spanish. I was in a local fast food chain and ordered a salad, the girl at the counter said "Chicken?", yeah in English, and for a split second I thought she had said "Chica?" (small in Spanish) but then I realized she had said chicken, my brain was still processing that so I replied (in Spanish) "Do you have a large one?" and quickly realized my mistake...
Not coming back for a while lol.
Not coming back for a while lol.
Josh with a J
Member
One time while I was playing paintball there was a priest playing with his youth group on another field and they kept shooting him after he already called himself out
"I'M OUT GOD DAMN IT!"
They were all silent after that haha
"I'M OUT GOD DAMN IT!"
They were all silent after that haha
Early Congratulations!
I've fallen for every common mistake. The, "You too," the self-thanks, and the most embarrassing: the, "Replying to someone when they weren't speaking to you, because you didn't stop to think about the full conversation before opening your mouth."
Scorpion Soldier
Member
Every time I order out, every damn time...
D
Deleted member 309291
Unconfirmed Member
Not actually a slip of the tongue, more like of the fingers, but whatever:
It's well known what is Chrome's Incognito mode most used for. And I am not the exception. However sometimes when using the university computer I start my session in the university system while Incognito, just in case I leave the session open. But still, most of the time I used it to fuck vicariously. I, like most people, have my go to page. This was to the point that writing the address was muscle memory to me: Open Chrome in Incognito Mode, write the address, go to town.
So one day I was doing some group work at the Uni, when I opened Chrome Incognito to log in the system... I was halfway through writing the address when I realized what I was writing, thankfully the address wasn't obvious like xxxfuck. com or something of the kind, hard to guess what I was writing and at the momennt no one was yet looking at the screen, so I dodged that bullet. The real danger would've been writing the whole address and pressing enter, as I'm used to do. I can only cringe at the thought of it happening. And everytime I open Incognito while not alone I'm reminded this almost disaster. :/
It's well known what is Chrome's Incognito mode most used for. And I am not the exception. However sometimes when using the university computer I start my session in the university system while Incognito, just in case I leave the session open. But still, most of the time I used it to fuck vicariously. I, like most people, have my go to page. This was to the point that writing the address was muscle memory to me: Open Chrome in Incognito Mode, write the address, go to town.
So one day I was doing some group work at the Uni, when I opened Chrome Incognito to log in the system... I was halfway through writing the address when I realized what I was writing, thankfully the address wasn't obvious like xxxfuck. com or something of the kind, hard to guess what I was writing and at the momennt no one was yet looking at the screen, so I dodged that bullet. The real danger would've been writing the whole address and pressing enter, as I'm used to do. I can only cringe at the thought of it happening. And everytime I open Incognito while not alone I'm reminded this almost disaster. :/
Crimsonclaw111
Member
I said orgasm instead of organism in biology class before.
Oops.
Oops.
Honestly, unless they're on hunger strike, that's barely even a slip up.
samoscratch
Member
I laughed.
Dot Matrix
Member
I used to work in a call centre and would always answer the phone saying 'customer support'. In boring jobs you always look for variation so one day I decided to shake things up and say 'customer services'. I accidentally said 'customer cervix's'.
I used to call one of my exes 'monkey' (because she was able to do stuff with her feet just as well as with her hands.. but that's for another thread). One day she made a joke about me and I was going to say 'yeah alright, cheeky', but mixed up the words and said 'yeah alright, chunky'.
I used to call one of my exes 'monkey' (because she was able to do stuff with her feet just as well as with her hands.. but that's for another thread). One day she made a joke about me and I was going to say 'yeah alright, cheeky', but mixed up the words and said 'yeah alright, chunky'.
postmodernism
Banned
on second date with a cute girl, walking down the street, I place my hand on my stomach for no particular reason
"are you feeling alright?" she asks
"oh yeah, just touching myself" I say
"are you feeling alright?" she asks
"oh yeah, just touching myself" I say
I remember as a little kid having a squabble with my big sister in the back of the car and calling her a 'twat' instead of 'twit'. I got a right telling off from Mum. I'd never even heard of the word before, so just sat there the picture of innocence with a bemused look on my face, but inwardly grinning at having learnt a new naughty word.
I used to be a support worker in mental health services. One day a colleague was on the phone to the father of one of our residents who was very unwell at the time. He was on the phone for half an hour plus trying to offer reassurance and support to the dad - it was pretty intense but he was doing a great job. Anyway, it obviously got to him a little bit - when the conversation drew to a close he said 'Alright, OK, speak to you soon, love you, bye!'
He put the phone down and his eyes sort of bulged out his sockets as he realised what he'd said. The rest of just cracked up laughing.
He put the phone down and his eyes sort of bulged out his sockets as he realised what he'd said. The rest of just cracked up laughing.
What, you don't like Greek food?
People talking about calling their teacher mom reminded me of another story. When I was in second grade my mom was working on getting her teaching degree and worked in my class as a teacher's assistant for a while. I called her Mrs. Lastname because I thought it was funny, but a kid who wasn't me called her Mom.
SolarMystic
Member
I once told a customer "I love you".
The guy gave me a confused look while I tried to pretend it didn't happen... I have no idea why those words came out of my mouth instead of a normal "have a nice day". My manager about lost it and was in tears as the guy walked awkwardly away.
Also at the same job I called my boss dad once.
Frosty Droid
Member
I used to see a counselor for depression. Each session was an hour long and I'd always get fidgety towards the end because I was worried about going over an hour. My counselor was super chill and would tell me not to worry about going over the allotted time. He'd always say, "I control the clock."
Well, one day we're at the end of a session and I'm feeling fidgety again, looking at all of the clocks in his office. I glanced at him and realized he was annoyed, so I blurted out "I know, you control the cock!"
I was so mortified by that slip up I didn't schedule another session for two months.
Well, one day we're at the end of a session and I'm feeling fidgety again, looking at all of the clocks in his office. I glanced at him and realized he was annoyed, so I blurted out "I know, you control the cock!"
I was so mortified by that slip up I didn't schedule another session for two months.
Neferteetee
Member
I said to my boss at my last job. "Oh, Melissa's bringing the spinach and artichoke dick!" instead of "dip." I've never been more uncomfortable lol
I was sitting at a table with my family a couple of years ago on holiday. I meant to say, "I love coke (I don't remember why, to be honest. Might have been drinking it)." I said, "I love cock," instead
I literally walk away from the table for a few minutes after I realised what I said; the teasing was too much for me. It still gets brought up today, five years later
I literally walk away from the table for a few minutes after I realised what I said; the teasing was too much for me. It still gets brought up today, five years later
DistortionOfReality
Member
I was on holiday with my girlfriend, she was being all cocky about something, and I cleverly said 'Oh yeh, biiiiig girl' (like saying 'ooooh big man' sarcastically about someone being overly cocky)
That went down well.
That went down well.
paperboywriter
Member
i find this little detail especially amusing.
grandmastashi
Member
When why mum got her ears pierced in the 70's my grandma asked her how it felt and without hesitation, she replied 'like having a giant prick in my ear'. Stiff upper lip British-ness took over and after the inevitable silence everyone just went on with their polite Sunday lunch like it never happened.
It must run in the family though, i've had more than I care to remember. Some of the worst come being;
When I was working as a journalist, speaking to a person with a very deep voice on the phone for 10 minutes, then finishing the call with 'well thank you for that story sir' then the person on the other end of the line going silent and saying 'i''m a woman'.
When I was about 15, was at the British Grand Prix and I turned to look at the big TV screen at the end of qualifying which was showing a replay of Damon Hill going into first place during an earlier part of the session. I shouted at the top of my lungs DAMON's ON POLE! to which people started cheering and turning to look, only to realise what a moron I'd been.
But the worst, by far, was travelling home from an exhibition with a colleague. We were laughing and joking about some 'upper class' types we'd had to deal with, to which point in my tired (and slightly tipsy following some beers after the show) state I said something like, 'plus they've got double barreled names, which instantly makes them worse' - as soon as the words left my mouth I looked across and realised the chap I had to sit in the car with for another two hours had a double-barrel surname... things got awkward!
It must run in the family though, i've had more than I care to remember. Some of the worst come being;
When I was working as a journalist, speaking to a person with a very deep voice on the phone for 10 minutes, then finishing the call with 'well thank you for that story sir' then the person on the other end of the line going silent and saying 'i''m a woman'.
When I was about 15, was at the British Grand Prix and I turned to look at the big TV screen at the end of qualifying which was showing a replay of Damon Hill going into first place during an earlier part of the session. I shouted at the top of my lungs DAMON's ON POLE! to which people started cheering and turning to look, only to realise what a moron I'd been.
But the worst, by far, was travelling home from an exhibition with a colleague. We were laughing and joking about some 'upper class' types we'd had to deal with, to which point in my tired (and slightly tipsy following some beers after the show) state I said something like, 'plus they've got double barreled names, which instantly makes them worse' - as soon as the words left my mouth I looked across and realised the chap I had to sit in the car with for another two hours had a double-barrel surname... things got awkward!
That's adorable oh you Canadians why can't we all be more like you.
- Status
Similar threads
- Locked