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Dating-Age |OT5| Halp me pls. In the bathroom.
- Thread starter Septimius
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ZackieChan
Member
Or have multiple dates going on, so no one girl can get you down like that.
Yeah, that is probably how most would define harem since its the accurate definition. But those seem rare so I didn't think that is what would be asked for here. I edited my post since I agree with you that it isn't a real harem. I haven't seen watched any for a long time but I don't think I've ever seen an anime with a harem either. Unless it is meant to take on a different definition in that scenario. Wait...were there actually harems in Aladdin? I didn't know that lol.
Zaraki_Kenpachi
Member
It happens, had a girl give me her number after taking a while and then sent one text message back after that and went completely dark. Like completely dark right after she gave me her phone number. Weird stuff happens.
I'll give you another one, was texting a girl and things were going well. She was sending pictures of herself to me, right after that I asked her on a date for next weekend and still haven't heard back. You have no insight as to what's going on so you slowly just have to train yourself to not care about it.
Not precisely a dating thing, but everyone talks about how great Meetup.com is, but every time I check it out, there's very few actual meetups going down, and when there are, there's like only 2 or 3 people that show up.
Anyone else had similar experience?
Anyone else had similar experience?
Really depends on the area, but when I lived back home (Boston area) there were plenty of meetups with lots of regular members...
Outside of one I went to on a regular basis though, I found there were a fair amount of people who just felt..."off" socially, so it wasn't my favorite way to meet new people...
I'll be moving soon and I'll try meetup again when I do though.
If you think that's weird I came to this thread today because I feel like shit.
Been dating a girl for a couple months now, gone on maybe 10-12 dates. By far the best relationship I've had in years and I thought she was really into me (I mean she told me that often). We went out Tuesday night. Wednesday morning I text her as usual but her reply seems distant.
We had semi plans to grab a drink as I went to the airport Wednesday night so I text her about that and she again is distant and said sorry she forgot and she's already having drinks with a girlfriend.
Thursday night I text her "Happy Thanksgiving
" and hours later she texts Happy Thanksgiving back. No contact yesterday so I text her today just saying I hope she's having a great time. No response. I mean what the fuck. Why is it that girls these days just think it's appropriate to drop completely off the radar. I'm so confused.
It's a woman's market.
ZackieChan
Member
Real, the thirst is.
ZackieChan
Member
What'd I miss? Wasn't a dig at you. Just a general commentary on thirsty dudes, but written in Yoda voice.
Don't even have the balls to send her a text ^^' I'm just scared that it's already to late, and I feel weird to ask her out for a drink while we haven't been really talking lately.
Yeah I hit submit by accident and shat out half a post, haha.
Raxious, man, send her a text or call her and see how she's doing. Ask if she'd like to catch up over coffee.
Better to ask now and know that it was too late than to never ask and spend years regretting never asking her out. If you try now, at least there's a chance.
ZackieChan
Member
You've literally got nothing to lose. Give me your Google/Apple ID and I'll do it for you
I had a previous experience just like this as well. Was sleeping with her but we kinda just stopped talking suddenly after i couldnt get her to go out again. It really is a womans market and I just assumed she either wasn't looking for anything serious or met someone new. We can't control it and it sucks sometimes and ive not been very enthusiastic about dating lately as a resultIf you think that's weird I came to this thread today because I feel like shit.
Been dating a girl for a couple months now, gone on maybe 10-12 dates. By far the best relationship I've had in years and I thought she was really into me (I mean she told me that often). We went out Tuesday night. Wednesday morning I text her as usual but her reply seems distant.
We had semi plans to grab a drink as I went to the airport Wednesday night so I text her about that and she again is distant and said sorry she forgot and she's already having drinks with a girlfriend.
Thursday night I text her "Happy Thanksgiving
I mean what the fuck. Why is it that girls these days just think it's appropriate to drop completely off the radar. I'm so confused.
So Friday night I'm out with my best friend, his sister and his girlfriend (they all live together). I've know him and his sister since they we were all kids but it's the first time I've really been out with her and I'm kinda feeling her. There wasn't any flirting going on, but because I was hesitant on the whole situation. Afterward me and him go and get pizza and I tell him, hey I'm feeling your sister. He's super supportive, telling me it's like the best thing but we're both pretty hammered. So yea, not sure what I should do. Should I just forget about it? I feel like a lot can go wrong. He knows a dog too, but I'm not stupid enough to pursue something with his sister and not change my ways.
I can't for the life of me figure out what to do for a third date. The first two dates, we just ate and talked, so I'm not sure if she'd really enjoy doing that again. But I feel like it's up to me to figure out something interesting to do, and I have no idea what interesting things there are to do.
Zeouterlimits
Member
Would it hurt to at least have the decency to just send a text and say it's over our something?
Earlier this year a girl I'd been pretty casually texted me one day and said something to the effect of I've enjoyed hanging out with you but I'm getting serious with a guy I've known for a while maybe see you around and it just always struck me as being really mature and thoughtful and even though I liked her I didn't feel so bad and absurdly was kind of happy for her because she always struck me as being a really good person and it gave me closure. But that is basically the only time that's happened in I can't remember how long. When did people just completely lose their manners?
When guys completely lost their shit over being rejected. Blame those guys. They ruined it for the rest of us.
Seriously, it is easier to disappear than to risk having your phone blow up or being cursed out because you don't want to date/see the guy anymore.
There is also some 'I don't want to hurt the guy's feelings' in play as well.
Guys do this too.
Seriously, it is easier to disappear than to risk having your phone blow up or being cursed out because you don't want to date/see the guy anymore.
There is also some 'I don't want to hurt the guy's feelings' in play as well.
Guys do this too.
n64coder
Member
No, don't do that. Just stop sending her texts and wait for her to make the next move.
Yes, in my area there are only a few active groups, and they are for groups I have no interest in. The meetups I did sign up for have, like... no events. It really sucks.
BTW I live in a small city too (a college town). You'd think there would be more activity from here, but nope.
Makes me think I should take up playing board games if I want to frickin' meet anyone.
I look to Facebook Events for things to do, but it doesn't really help with meeting people...
You can ask her if there's something she would like to do
I feel like a broken record saying this, but oh well.
Women don't know how men will respond to rejection. Some men can really go off the deep end. Did you see that thread a few weeks back where a guy demanded his money back for a $3 coffee because a lady refused to go back to his house with him? Yeah, that, and worse, can happen if you flat out reject someone.
Why would a woman want to take that risk when she doesn't know you that well? She doesn't know if you'll take it alright (like a normal person would) or if you're gonna go off the deep end with insults and/or stalker crap. It's simply not worth the risk to be polite for many people.
So yeah, it sucks, and that's not always the reason of course, but you have to understand that silence=rejection 90% of the time. You do not need to be told this, nor do you deserve an explanation.
You've literally got nothing to lose. Give me your Google/Apple ID and I'll do it for you
haha thanks for the offer but let's not do that
For a third date, you could even go watch a movie.
Or look up and see if there's a Paint Nite event nearby.
Or a museum/concert.
Or a walk/hike + picnic.
Yup. Just internalize that silence == "Sorry it was fun, but I'm not feeling it / I met someone else / I've entered a nunnery / etc" and move on. I understand the frustration, but there's ultimately no point in getting angry over someone's silence (and not getting closure). The end result is the same; you will not be seeing her anymore - that is all the closure you need.
got a first date in a couple hours. You know when I first started dating I would get all nervous and excited beforehand, nowadays it's just something I force myself to do once in a while to convince myself I'm not out of the game more than anything. I never have any intention of moving things forward.. I guess I'm just kind of waiting, but am very cynical that I'll find the right person. Or rather, I feel I found them, lost them, and no one else is going to realistically match up. Sometimes it seems like it might be better to quit, but I also don't want to become some kind of anti-social weirdo either. What I really want to do is try to meet my ex again, but that seems like a conventionally bad idea.
got a first date in a couple hours. You know when I first started dating I would get all nervous and excited beforehand, nowadays it's just something I force myself to do once in a while to convince myself I'm not out of the game more than anything. I never have any intention of moving things forward.. I guess I'm just kind of waiting, but am very cynical that I'll find the right person. Or rather, I feel I found them, lost them, and no one else is going to realistically match up. Sometimes it seems like it might be better to quit, but I also don't want to become some kind of anti-social weirdo either. What I really want to do is try to meet my ex again, but that seems like a conventionally bad idea.
Getting back together with someone you've already dated naturally depends on why you broke up and if both parts actually want it. Mostly it's probably not a good idea. For your actual problem, consider taking some time off and focus on yourself.
TerminalDogma
Member
got a first date in a couple hours. You know when I first started dating I would get all nervous and excited beforehand, nowadays it's just something I force myself to do once in a while to convince myself I'm not out of the game more than anything. I never have any intention of moving things forward.. I guess I'm just kind of waiting, but am very cynical that I'll find the right person. Or rather, I feel I found them, lost them, and no one else is going to realistically match up. Sometimes it seems like it might be better to quit, but I also don't want to become some kind of anti-social weirdo either. What I really want to do is try to meet my ex again, but that seems like a conventionally bad idea.
Wow man, are you really so self centered to think that you've already found the one and ONLY person in the world who is a match for you? Don't go on this date expecting the other person to match your ex, it's not gonna happen. People are different. Doesn't mean that person isn't going to be a girl worth knowing.
I get feeling like the person you've already had an established relationship is somehow amazing for you, and why bother trying to find someone else who can get along with you when you've already found one. But, face it, she doesn't want that relationship with you anymore. That's why she is your ex.
You'll find someone else. Going on dates is good, but not if you are going in with the attitude that it's not really worth the time anyhow because this other person isn't going to meet expectations from your ex. Sorry if that seemed a bit rambly, but you gotta change your attitude man. People are worth knowing, and worth loving. There isn't just ONE person out there that was made just for you. There's plenty of em out there.
Megalosaro
Banned
Gaf, if you were a pats fan that lived in LA, would you go out with me?
Pardon the beard. No shave November
Pardon the beard. No shave November
And this is why i understand this behavior even though i dont like it.
After more than a few dates though? Yeah i can understand being upset.
Gaf, if you were a pats fan that lived in LA, would you go out with me?
Pardon the beard. No shave November
There are Pats fans that live in LA?
You look good imo, but I don't feel that dirty mirror pic is doing you much justice.
And that looks like a lotta heavy clothing for LA.
Megalosaro
Banned
There are Pats fans that live in LA?
You look good imo, but I don't feel that dirty mirror pic is doing you much justice.
And that looks like a lotta heavy clothing for LA.
Is freaking cold out. Plus my office likes to use the ac
Zeouterlimits
Member
Do you think he'd be annoyed? Would you be happier to mention it to him in advance?
Yeah, absolutely true. It's something that I know is true and I keep telling myself, but my gut doesn't believe it. Hopefully I'll be able to convince myself eventually, though it's been 8 months already.
Anyways just got back from the date and went pretty well. Was kind of weird actually. The girl I met was from the same region in Cali as my ex, so I was able to talk about some of the places there (referring to my reason for going there as visiting a "friend" of course). Anyhow she seemed pretty cool, I will probably try to make a second date happen. What are the texting rules these days for after the date?
I don't think he should get a say if he's a cheater.
Okay...so need some advice.
I got a message from someone I dated many months ago. She was nice, sweet and the sex was enjoyable. The only problem, and I won't beat around the bush, is that she wasn't particularly too attractive. Eventually lost interest and we stopped talking.
She messages me out of the blue today and I'm wondering if I should respond.
I got a message from someone I dated many months ago. She was nice, sweet and the sex was enjoyable. The only problem, and I won't beat around the bush, is that she wasn't particularly too attractive. Eventually lost interest and we stopped talking.
She messages me out of the blue today and I'm wondering if I should respond.
BigMastadon
Member
Aight.. so I need to get some advice from strangers. I probably don't want to hear the advice but I know I need to.
First off I'm a Virgin whom has never had a girlfriend and am 28 (hahaha I know). I've been talking to this girl i met online for a little over a year now. We text almost daily and seem to have good conversations. She is a funeral director so she is married to her job which I feel has kept her from progressing more with me.
We haven't met in person nor talked on the phone yet but have shared photos and such (nothing sexual). I've been wanting to move things forward as we live about two hours from each other but I still feel like I'll get the run around. I really like her as she gets me and is super supportive. I've had a horrible year in terms of my weight and depression and she's told me that she is in it for the long haul.
I just wish she would be more open about things and at least hint for me to make a move.
Should I just flat out ask her if she wants to progress at any point or just keep things how they are? I just don't want to lose her or anything even though I don't think that'll happen. I've been told by others that she isn't really interested because of how long it's been but I disagree. A year of talking to someone online can allow you to know them pretty well.
Argh.
First off I'm a Virgin whom has never had a girlfriend and am 28 (hahaha I know). I've been talking to this girl i met online for a little over a year now. We text almost daily and seem to have good conversations. She is a funeral director so she is married to her job which I feel has kept her from progressing more with me.
We haven't met in person nor talked on the phone yet but have shared photos and such (nothing sexual). I've been wanting to move things forward as we live about two hours from each other but I still feel like I'll get the run around. I really like her as she gets me and is super supportive. I've had a horrible year in terms of my weight and depression and she's told me that she is in it for the long haul.
I just wish she would be more open about things and at least hint for me to make a move.
Should I just flat out ask her if she wants to progress at any point or just keep things how they are? I just don't want to lose her or anything even though I don't think that'll happen. I've been told by others that she isn't really interested because of how long it's been but I disagree. A year of talking to someone online can allow you to know them pretty well.
Argh.
n64coder
Member
Two hours away from her is pretty far but if you are really interested in her, then ask her out for a dinner date. Maybe you can meet halfway?
Personally I would continue looking for someone that is closer to me.
Having a relationship with your phone for a year is NEVER a good idea. One face-to-face date will tell you a lot about how much chemistry there is, and that's something text just cannot replicate. When possible, it's always advisable to meet a girl sooner rather than later.
Two hours isn't that far. Definitely not the easiest distance to work with, but still manageable. Ask her what days in December she's free to grab dinner. Drive to her if you have to. If you two can't find a time that works this month, consider searching for a different girl.
BigMastadon
Member
The distance really doesn't bother me too much as I want to be up near chicago at some point anyways (where she lives and the area I'm from). I've talked to a few girls where I'm at now but I just don't connect with any of them on the same level. It's difficult.
Yeah, we had talked about seeing Star Wars together a few months ago so I'll bring it up again and hopefully arrange a date. If she dances around this then I'll know where she stands and likely know she's just a good friend. It'll suck but at least I'll knowSalamando said:
How quickly after are we talking about here? I'd at least give it a month or two.
Don't really know how the guy will feel, but he cheated and messed up so I don't feel he gets much of an opinion.
ZackieChan
Member
Shit or get off the pot. If you want a real relationship with her, the time is now. I can't believe you've talked for a year and never met. I've traveled to different countries to meet girls, only to have it not work out when we met face to face. It could! But the longer you wait, the more pressure there is for things to work out.
Also, you don't have to have a perfect relationship with these local girls. It doesn't have to be serious. Just try to have fun and maybe something will happen. You're still young!
I just wanted to react regarding to this. My last relationship (it lasted 10 years) was with a girl I met online, talked to exclusively online for a year and a half without her seeing me or me seeing her. We were separated by 5000 kilometers. We exchanged pictures later on and luckily we did like each other and two and a half years after the beginning of our relationship, we finally met. We lived together since, we've had some amazing times together. Definitely a lot of the high points in my life even though we separated a few months ago.
NEVER a good idea is a bit too much, there is an ideal way of doing things I agree with you, but sticking too much to it prevents stories like mine from ever happening.
EXPotemkin
Member
Am I too ugly for Tinder? =/ http://imgur.com/bw0HvpZ
ZackieChan
Member
You're fine. Take a good photo, though. The lighting is awful.
It wouldn't hurt to hut the gym and lose some weight. Again, something like Tinder is all about the looks. So good photos of you doing interesting things are attractive to swipers. Terrible photos of you sitting by your computer are not
EXPotemkin
Member
You're fine. Take a good photo, though. The lighting is awful.
It wouldn't hurt to hut the gym and lose some weight. Again, something like Tinder is all about the looks. So good photos of you doing interesting things are attractive to swipers. Terrible photos of you sitting by your computer are not
That's hilarious that you say that. I've been going to the gym and eating well since last November and have dropped 80 pounds. That's where i got the boost of confidence to start putting myself out there again. A ton of my friends and family said I looked a hell of a lot better than I used to. I went from 346 down to 267 and I'm still working at it. I put that in my profile to thinking maybe more women would have interest in me since I started taking better care of myself.
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