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[Salamando]

Her dad started it! lol

I don't want to join the dating world right now. I'm literally OK with being single. It's just I had to take a shot at this specific girl.

And I'm not being friendzoned, I make it abundantly clear to her that that's not where I'm gonna be. lol. She actually has a poor chap friendzoned rn, the guy is friendzoned with her and her best friend. Feel bad for the dude, from what she told me about what her friend has done to him in the past.

I do live in the burgh, and I'm not going on Tinder. lol

Tinder sucks in Pittsburgh? Shit.

Anyway, Ray, you need to try something new. If you're texting her and she's having a good day, suggest a spontaneous meet up, even if it's only for lunch. If her sickness never manifests twice in a row, arrange to meet up on two days...then If she's sick the first day, meet up the second.

 

[Zaraki_Kenpachi]

I don't want to join the dating scene. Meaning I don't care about going out, and seeing if I could find a person to date.

I wanted to date a specific person, and if that doesn't work out then I'm not going out looking for someone else. For now at least. I have to much shit on my plate at the moment, and I don't need the hassle.

She's cancelled 5 whole times by the way. lol

Yeah.... I think you're crazy to continue but it's your choice naturally.

 

[ZackieChan]

Tinder sucks in Pittsburgh? Shit.

Anyway, Ray, you need to try something new. If you're texting her and she's having a good day, suggest a spontaneous meet up, even if it's only for lunch. If her sickness never manifests twice in a row, arrange to meet up on two days...then If she's sick the first day, meet up the second.

Technically I was swiping in Wexford. Had terrible luck.

 

[Ray Wonder]

Tinder sucks in Pittsburgh? Shit.

Anyway, Ray, you need to try something new. If you're texting her and she's having a good day, suggest a spontaneous meet up, even if it's only for lunch. If her sickness never manifests twice in a row, arrange to meet up on two days...then If she's sick the first day, meet up the second.

Her sickness is pretty random. She has an immune problem (not HIV), and the meds make her stomach all fucked up. But yeah, I think next time she hits me up and she feels good, I'll ask to go out that day. Seems like a solid plan.

Yeah.... I think you're crazy to continue but it's your choice naturally.

I know I am, shit sucks. Either I'll come back here and tell you that you were all right. Or I'll come back and tell you all to suck it. But either way I'm not done just yet.

 

[Salamando]

Technically I was swiping in Wexford. Had terrible luck.

Not only deep in the suburbs, but in the boring suburbs. Fear abated.

Her sickness is pretty random. She has an immune problem (not HIV), and the meds make her stomach all fucked up. But yeah, I think next time she hits me up and she feels good, I'll ask to go out that day. Seems like a solid plan.

The romantic in me wonders if she gets so nervous for dates that the "butterflies in her stomach" exacerbate her issues and render her unable to see you. Adorable, but definitely hard to work with.

 

[Ray Wonder]

Would you all kill me if I told you I made a song for her because she told me she would sing on it if she liked it? She did say she loved it.

It wasn't something serious and I told her that.. She told me to make it about what I wanted to do to her sex wise.

Also, I desperately needed something to write about besides rap shit. It's not 100% done, I have to retake a couple parts when I can. It wouldn't be the whole story without letting you hear it, so be nice.. Or shit on it. I can take it.

The romantic in me wonders if she gets so nervous for dates that the "butterflies in her stomach" exacerbate her issues and render her unable to see you. Adorable, but definitely hard to work with.

She told me she was nervous, and she thought that was weird because we've known each other for like two years. This scenario is cute, but I'd also be pissed. Like that sounds impossible to overcome. lol

 

[Zaraki_Kenpachi]

Would you all kill me if I told you I made a song for her because she told me she would sing on it if she liked it? She did say she loved it.

It wasn't something serious and I told her that.. She told me to make it about what I wanted to do to her sex wise.

Also, I desperately needed something to write about besides rap shit. It's not 100% done, I have to retake a couple parts when I can. It wouldn't be the whole story without letting you hear it, so be nice.. Or shit on it. I can take it.



She told me she was nervous, and she thought that was weird because we've known each other for like two years. This scenario is cute, but I'd also be pissed. Like that sounds impossible to overcome. lol

Bruh...

 

[Miles Quaritch]

I'm sad for you, Ray.

 

[Ray Wonder]

If this relationship is successful, I'm fighting all of you. lmao

Bruh...

I was working on music anyways, the topic of subject matter came up, she suggested it. I said It sounded fun. I told her not to take it serious, and I wouldn't either.

I'm sad for you, Ray.

Yall just don't know.

 

[Zaraki_Kenpachi]

If this relationship is successful, I'm fighting all of you. lmao




I was working on music anyways, the topic of subject matter came up, she suggested it. I said It sounded fun. I told her not to take it serious, and I wouldn't either.



Yall just don't know.

You need to get some self respect man, you're chasing her like a fool.

 

[Ray Wonder]

You need to get some self respect man, you're chasing her like a fool.

I LIVE MY LIFE LIKE A ROMANTIC COMEDY DAMN IT

lol jk you're kinda right. Whatever though. She's either lying when she tells me she likes it, or actually does.

 

[Miles Quaritch]

The effort you're putting into this 'relationship' could be better used finding someone who will actually want to meet up when they say they will. So she's sick, she can't invite you over to hers to just hang? Watch a movie and just spend time together? There's no reason to blow off five dates.

FIVE BLOW OFFS. IN A ROW.

Come on. COME ON.

You're wasting time. You're wasting effort on this girl that's better put to use elsewhere. Stop. Now. Re-evaluate what you're doing. Find someone else. You can still talk to this girl, but stop acting like she's the only one for you, stop giving her that power. She's clearly abusing it and you're just letting her because you've convinced yourself you can't do better.

What are you doing?

I'm not trying to be a dick to you, mate. I just hate to see this happening to someone. You seem like a cool cat, don't let this happen to you.

 

[gaiages]

Well... uh... good luck, Ray...

I don't have any advice to offer, since it's clear you're very, very determined with your current decision.

EDIT: I know you keep saying you don't want to enter the dating scene, Ray, you could use this wasted time to better yourself/work on the "shit on your plate" instead, too. Just throwing that out there because you keep hand waving advice off because of that.

 

[Ray Wonder]

The effort you're putting into this 'relationship' could be better used finding someone who will actually want to meet up when they say they will. So she's sick, she can't invite you over to hers to just hang? Watch a movie and just spend time together? There's no reason to blow off five dates.

FIVE BLOW OFFS. IN A ROW.

Come on. COME ON.

You're wasting time. You're wasting effort on this girl that's better put to use elsewhere. Stop. Now. Re-evaluate what you're doing. Find someone else. You can still talk to this girl, but stop acting like she's the only one for you, stop giving her that power. She's clearly abusing it and you're just letting her because you've convinced yourself you can't do better.

What are you doing?

Aww, you really care about me Miles. ☺ lol

I cannot be mad at her for being sick.
I don't want to go over her house because she still lives with her dad. And that's really weird.
I don't care if I waste a little bit of time. It hasn't inconvenienced me enough to where I had a problem with it.
I got a pretty dope song out of it. That I need to finish btw.

I don't really want to do better is the thing Miles. I could be making a mistake, but I'd rather be mistaken and know for sure.

 

[Ray Wonder]

EDIT: I know you keep saying you don't want to enter the dating scene, Ray, you could use this wasted time to better yourself/work on the "shit on your plate" instead, too. Just throwing that out there because you keep hand waving advice off because of that.

Yeah I thought about that too, but a lot of the shit has to do with music. Which she has been a positive influence on so far.

The only advice I'm not going to take is along the "Get on with your life" type.

Not yet lol

 

[FStop7]

Romantic comedies don't end with restraining orders.

 

[Kaname]

Do you think it's weird to gift lingerie for xmas to my girlfriend?
We've been together for 5-6 months and she knows how much I like sexy lingerie and liked the thought to wear some for me but...is it out of place for such a festivity? lol
I don't really see anything wrong with it but wanted see what's the general consensus is around here

(she's still living with her parents and they're kinda strict with their religious stuff but non that I really care about that lol)

 

[PBY]

Do you think it's weird to gift lingerie for xmas to my girlfriend?
We've been together for 5-6 months and she knows how much I like sexy lingerie and liked the thought to wear some for me but...is it out of place for such a festivity? lol
I don't really see anything wrong with it but wanted see what's the general consensus is around here

(she's still living with her parents and they're kinda strict with their religious stuff but non that I really care about that lol)

Two things: 1 - will she be opening these gifts in front of her parents? 2 - is SHE into that? because its more of a joint gift/gift for you if not.

 

[Miles Quaritch]

You do you, Ray.

Godspeed.

Do you think it's weird to gift lingerie for xmas to my girlfriend?
We've been together for 5-6 months and she knows how much I like sexy lingerie and liked the thought to wear some for me but...is it out of place for such a festivity? lol
I don't really see anything wrong with it but wanted see what's the general consensus is around here

(she's still living with her parents and they're kinda strict with their religious stuff but non that I really care about that lol)

Is it a gift for her or for you?

Sounds like it's more a gift for you. Buy her something else and keep this sexy lingerie for Valentines day.

 

[Ray Wonder]

Romantic comedies don't end with restraining orders.

😂😂😂
It sounds worse than it is I promise lol

 

[Kaname]

Two things: 1 - will she be opening these gifts in front of her parents? 2 - is SHE into that? because its more of a joint gift/gift for you if not.

1 - Totally not ahah. I actually laughed at the screen thinking how awkward that would actually be.

2 - Well the topic kinda came up some time ago and she said she'd like to wear some if I bought it for her but I wasn't planning on getting her only that. It's more of a side gift, if you know what I mean

Is it a gift for her or for you?

Sounds like it's more a gift for you. Buy her something else and keep this sexy lingerie for Valentines day.

Yeah that would probably make more sense I guess.

 

[gaiages]

Do you think it's weird to gift lingerie for xmas to my girlfriend?
We've been together for 5-6 months and she knows how much I like sexy lingerie and liked the thought to wear some for me but...is it out of place for such a festivity? lol
I don't really see anything wrong with it but wanted see what's the general consensus is around here

(she's still living with her parents and they're kinda strict with their religious stuff but non that I really care about that lol)

I don't see a big problem with it... except maybe the parents finding them, but I doubt that would happen.

Then again, Miles has a point, it's more for you than for her.

 

[Kaname]

I don't see a big problem with it... except maybe the parents finding them, but I doubt that would happen.

Then again, Miles has a point, it's more for you than for her.

Time for some inspired present hunting then :3

 

[dskillzhtown]

I need some opinions.

Quick detail:

Girl has had an illness for the past year or so. Sometimes (every week or so, or less) she gets sick enough to where she doesn't even get out of bed. This is a fact. I've known her for longer than this year, and knew about her being sick before we started talking.

Situation:

It's been about two months talking to her. I've seen her twice since we've been talking. We text all the time, and when I ask, she's really receptive to going out on a date. We always make a day, then once it arrives, she's sick. This has happened 5 times so far. I know that she gets sick often, but damn, It's really hard not to take notice that she's more sick consistently on the days we were supposed to chill.

Here's a little bit more context. Saturday we text all day, all positive, maybe 50-75 messages. Sunday we were supposed to chill. So I hit her at 11AM I don't get a text back until 9:30 PM saying she's sorry she was sick all day and was sleeping most of it.

So since this has been happening, I text her this.

"Well I hope you feel better soon
Any day you're feeling up for doing something,
I'm all the way down. So just let me know!"

Seems like a reasonable way to deal with it?

Also, place your bets on whether I'm being played or not.. lol

Others have responded but I'll contribute my .02.

You are texting her so much that there is no point in going out. If you are texting over 50 times a day, WTF is there to talk about in person? What is the point? You are using up all her desire to see you by texting. Chill on all that.

But this line give me reason for pause and think this is a lost cause anyway.

It's been about two months talking to her. I've seen her twice since we've been talking.

Two months and you have seen her twice? Yeah, she really loves your text attention but has zero interest in you other than that. I think that all the texting may have completely turned her off and she now thinks of you as the text buddy.

With all that said, I was dating a woman off and on for awhile. Well on one of our on times, she got sick and had a similar situation of her being "too tired" to go out everytime I asked. She cancelled on the day of a couple of times and I just stopped asking her. I figured if she is that tired in her recovery, she doesn't need the pressure of me asking her out. I also figured that is she really didn't want to go out with me, I'll just let her be. I did that and found another girl who was much more into me and made the effort to see me.

Either way, in your situation you need to back off. Some of your justifications in relation to your music is just not grounded in reality. You have this desire to be with this girl and it just isn't going to happen. One of these times you are going to ask her to go out and she is going to ask can her bf come too.

 

[Zaraki_Kenpachi]

Others have responded but I'll contribute my .02.

You are texting her so much that there is no point in going out. If you are texting over 50 times a day, WTF is there to talk about in person? What is the point? You are using up all her desire to see you by texting. Chill on all that.

But this line give me reason for pause and think this is a lost cause anyway.


Two months and you have seen her twice? Yeah, she really loves your text attention but has zero interest in you other than that. I think that all the texting may have completely turned her off and she now thinks of you as the text buddy.

With all that said, I was dating a woman off and on for awhile. Well on one of our on times, she got sick and had a similar situation of her being "too tired" to go out everytime I asked. She cancelled on the day of a couple of times and I just stopped asking her. I figured if she is that tired in her recovery, she doesn't need the pressure of me asking her out. I also figured that is she really didn't want to go out with me, I'll just let her be. I did that and found another girl who was much more into me and made the effort to see me.

Either way, in your situation you need to back off. Some of your justifications in relation to your music is just not grounded in reality. You have this desire to be with this girl and it just isn't going to happen. One of these times you are going to ask her to go out and she is going to ask can her bf come too.

Yikes, that's worse than what I gathered from skimming. I pretty much agree with this post.

 

[Ray Wonder]

Others have responded but I'll contribute my .02.

You are texting her so much that there is no point in going out. If you are texting over 50 times a day, WTF is there to talk about in person? What is the point? You are using up all her desire to see you by texting. Chill on all that.

But this line give me reason for pause and think this is a lost cause anyway.


Two months and you have seen her twice? Yeah, she really loves your text attention but has zero interest in you other than that. I think that all the texting may have completely turned her off and she now thinks of you as the text buddy.

With all that said, I was dating a woman off and on for awhile. Well on one of our on times, she got sick and had a similar situation of her being "too tired" to go out everytime I asked. She cancelled on the day of a couple of times and I just stopped asking her. I figured if she is that tired in her recovery, she doesn't need the pressure of me asking her out. I also figured that is she really didn't want to go out with me, I'll just let her be. I did that and found another girl who was much more into me and made the effort to see me.

Either way, in your situation you need to back off. Some of your justifications in relation to your music is just not grounded in reality. You have this desire to be with this girl and it just isn't going to happen. One of these times you are going to ask her to go out and she is going to ask can her bf come too.

Ouch! This one got me right in the soul/pride. 🤕🤕

I'm not going to text her again, until she shows interest in going out. No more chasing.

 

[Sami+]

Good luck Ray. I know the feel, lol.

 

[gwailo]

Yeah, I don't want to pile on, but her "illness" seems like BS to me. You text 75 times (!!!)in one day but she can't shoot you one text in the morning to say she's not feeling well and can't make the date? My kid is going through chemo and radiation for cancer and he shoots out texts all day from his bed, so the "sleeping all day" sounds like crap to me. If she is getting that sick, why is she not in the hospital?

Is she the one that doesn't want you to come to her place? If so, it might not be just her dad that she lives with.

Sorry for the negativity, but she doesn't seem to respect you or your time at all. Also, the longer this goes on, the bigger she will become in your mind to the point that any in person interaction will most likely be a disappointment. You already have her built up to be "the one" even though you've only seen her twice.

 

[Ray Wonder]

Good luck Ray. I know the feel, lol.

😞😔
Thanks man lol

Yeah, I don't want to pile on, but her "illness" seems like BS to me. You text 75 times (!!!)in one day but she can't shoot you one text in the morning to say she's not feeling well and can't make the date? My kid is going through chemo and radiation for cancer and he shoots out texts all day from his bed, so the "sleeping all day" sounds like crap to me. If she is getting that sick, why is she not in the hospital?

Is she the one that doesn't want you to come to her place? If so, it might not be just her dad that she lives with.

Sorry for the negativity, but she doesn't seem to respect you or your time at all. Also, the longer this goes on, the bigger she will become in your mind to the point that any in person interaction will most likely be a disappointment. You already have her built up to be "the one" even though you've only seen her twice.

I know her dad, and I've known her for a long time.. She's definitely sick. Neither of those are bullshit at least lol. I saw her friends snap story earlier talking with her at the hospital getting tests today.

I'm not too emotionally invested tbh. If it doesn't go anywhere else from here I'll be cool with it, I just don't want to say fuck it right now. That's it.

I will step back though. If she shows that she wants this to happen then I'm still in currently is all I'm saying.

 

[Zaraki_Kenpachi]

😞😔
Thanks man lol



I know her dad, and I've known her for a long time.. She's definitely sick. Neither of those are bullshit at least lol. I saw her friends snap story earlier talking with her at the hospital getting tests today.

I'm not too emotionally invested tbh. If it doesn't go anywhere else from here I'll be cool with it, I just don't want to say fuck it right now. That's it.

I will step back though. If she shows that she wants this to happen then I'm still in currently is all I'm saying.

We just went through this, you can't lie to us.

 

[Ray Wonder]

We just went through this, you can't lie to us.

😂
Never that! I'm not lying at all. I'm just not going to be swayed to go find other girls to talk to when I want to talk to the current one still.

But, If she text me right now and said something harsh as fuck like "I've been fucking with you this whole time loser"

I'd be like, oh ok. ✌️

I'm good at emotions. Been through a lot. I'm not gonna say I'd be unfazed, just that it won't be a big hit. Probably hurt as much as that reply I got above

My biggest problem is the not knowing part. If I knew either way, I'd be kemosabe.

 

[dskillzhtown]

Ouch! This one got me right in the soul/pride. 🤕🤕

I'm not going to text her again, until she shows interest in going out. No more chasing.

Not trying to be mean, just speaking from experience. Backing out now will make for alot less pain later.

 

[Ray Wonder]

Not trying to be mean, just speaking from experience. Backing out now will make for alot less pain later.

And I appreciate your take on it. I do.

I'm going to play it by ear, and let her decide what she wants. Whatever tf that is.

 

[tch]

Ok so I've been seeing this girl (I've posted about her a couple of times in this thread.) We've only been on two dates in two weeks, as we've been really busy due to the holidays/work schedules, so I'm really eager to see her again.

So I asked her if she is free tomorrow and she said she's going to a free concert which sounds great, but she is going with her mom + a few friends. I really don't want to hang out with her mom/friends on only the third date, but I don't want to seem like an asshole. How do I politely decline when I've already made it clear that I'm free tomorrow?

 

[Dryk]

"I dunno it feels a little weird to be hanging out with your mum when we only just started dating". Easy.

 

[tch]

Cool thanks Dryk! I made a little joke out of it I'll see how it goes

 

[War Peaceman]

What's the etiquette for when you ask whether time x is good for someone (after she suggested a date) and they see the message but don't respond? What's a good time to wait for a gentle prod?

Normally 'd just leave it, but this lady seems really suited to me.

 

[Ric Flair]

What's the etiquette for when you ask whether time x is good for someone (after she suggested a date) and they see the message but don't respond? What's a good time to wait for a gentle prod?

Normally 'd just leave it, but this lady seems really suited to me.

Call her

 

[Nilaul]

Why can't some people just admit that there jealous?

Instead I've got a angry voice reply saying, "You don't listen and why the fuck I be jealous of Lara?" She claimed that every-time someone came over I ignored her even though it is not really true. She ranted about my female bro friend staying over for seven days on whatsapp and proceeded to whatever-ing me and other things and shes not even my GF anymore technically.

I mean uhhh. Input guys and girls plz.
[Name of friend has been changed]

 

[dskillzhtown]

Ok so I've been seeing this girl (I've posted about her a couple of times in this thread.) We've only been on two dates in two weeks, as we've been really busy due to the holidays/work schedules, so I'm really eager to see her again.

So I asked her if she is free tomorrow and she said she's going to a free concert which sounds great, but she is going with her mom + a few friends. I really don't want to hang out with her mom/friends on only the third date, but I don't want to seem like an asshole. How do I politely decline when I've already made it clear that I'm free tomorrow?

Be honest and tell her you don't think you are ready to meet her mom just yet. See if you can get together before the show or something the like that. Just be honest. I would think she would understand that it could be awkward to meet a parent on the 3rd date.

 

[Zaraki_Kenpachi]

Wow, what's with people being awkward and just shitty all of a sudden. Yeesh, can't throw back quick enough. Gross personalities.

 

[EXPotemkin]

Is there a dating app/site for giant dorks such as myself? i think that's the only way this whole thing is gonna work out..

 

[tch]

Be honest and tell her you don't think you are ready to meet her mom just yet. See if you can get together before the show or something the like that. Just be honest. I would think she would understand that it could be awkward to meet a parent on the 3rd date.

Thanks for the response! Yeah she totally understood, she just said that its normal for her mom to meet people she's close with and hoped I didn't think she was crazy haha. Honestly I was more worried about seeming like just another friend at the concert than I was about meeting her mom. Going to try to meet up with her afterwards!

 

[Salamando]

Is there a dating app/site for giant dorks such as myself? i think that's the only way this whole thing is gonna work out..

OKCupid is likely your best shot. It's large enough that all kinds of people can be found there. It's like Tinder though in that you'll need a good a picture to go far. If you cook up a profile and hop over to the Online Dating thread, we'll gladly give you some pointers on how to clean it up.

 

[Lulubop]

Is there a dating app/site for giant dorks such as myself? i think that's the only way this whole thing is gonna work out..

Ehh, you can browse people on OKC by interest and keywords.

 

[Llyranor]

I'm a massive dork and OKC worked for me.

shes not even my GF anymore technically.

Well...... What's the issue, then? Just ignore the jealous ex.

 

[ZackieChan]

@Ray Wonder - There aren't enough Michael Jordan gifs around to convey the variety of emotions I feel about your situation. How much longer are you planning on wasting your time for this girl? I don't see why, if you're friends with her dad, it would be such a travesty to go over there when she's not feeling well. Is it because you'd just be going over for sex? I mean, you can't even get her to meet with you - why would you expect that sex is gonna happen?

She honestly sounds like she's all talk at this point. One day you're going to realize that we were all right and that you should have moved on months/years before. This simping has got to stop! Writing songs for a girl that won't even meet you? C'mon bro!

 

[Lulubop]

If someone wanted to see you, they'd see you.

 

[Etrian Oddity]

3 bails in the previous girls I've gotten numbers from, this past month.

I really wish I'd ascertain just what's wrong with me. Almost 27, no relationship history, no sexual history, and a total repulsion to women. Really, really wish I could understand.

 

[HP_Wuvcraft]

I'm a massive dork and OKC worked for me.

The one time OKC "worked" for me, the girl flipped out when I phrased something poorly that made me seem ignorant of prejudice against female geeks.

What followed was a ten message back and forth of me trying to apologize and her just not having it.