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[Max]

What followed was a ten message back and forth of me trying to apologize and her just not having it.

this is where you really went wrong

 

[HP_Wuvcraft]

this is where you really went wrong

Yup.

EDIT: and now I get how stupid I just sounded. I promise it was not "like that". It was a discussion. Just not one I was being allowed to be a part of.

 

[Fallout-NL]

��
Never that! I'm not lying at all. I'm just not going to be swayed to go find other girls to talk to when I want to talk to the current one still.

Talking to/seeing other girls would probably improve your odds with the current one as well. Just sayin'

 

[potam]

Gather round, boys, for a warning against thirst and stupidity:

So some of you (although I doubt it) may remember my old posts about a crazy ex. Well, long story short I ran into her again at a bar a couple of weeks ago, and I had just broken up with my girlfriend. I drunk texted her after I got home trying to fuck. No dice.

Fast forward a week later, I realize I was an ass and text her apologizing. We talk a bit, although I knew it was stupid (thirst in full effect).

Fast forward to tonight. I'm at work, and she was at some bars. I tell her to come hang out after she leaves, because honestly I was just hoping to fuck her in the parking lot. Fuck. No.

She arrives, and pulls out a fucking bottle of wine and starts going to town on it. She decides she's hungry so she leaves to get a fuckton of Taco Bell and a dozen donuts. She comes back, we chill for a bit in her car.

Then she starts saying she wants to go back to my apartment and wait for me. Now, in the past she has always had a habit of staying up way too fucking late in the morning, and more or less keeping me from going to sleep. I explain to her that I just want to go home, eat some breakfast, and go to sleep.

She starts flipping out. Crying. Talking about suicide. Talking about how she hates life. Throwing shit all over her car...and here is the best part.

She throws her phone and cracks her windshield.

Now she's still trying to convince me to let her come back to my place, like a fucking child. I kept telling her no, and now she's asleep in my fucking parking lot outside the office. People will begin arriving in about 30-45 minutes, and I have no idea what to do. I'll probably end up letting her come back, just to save myself from some awkward explanations at work.


So please, spread this tale. It may save someone in the future.

edit: she's on her way to my place. fml

 

[Ray Wonder]

Holy shit @ potam 😂 that sucks dude.

@Ray Wonder - There aren't enough Michael Jordan gifs around to convey the variety of emotions I feel about your situation. How much longer are you planning on wasting your time for this girl? I don't see why, if you're friends with her dad, it would be such a travesty to go over there when she's not feeling well. Is it because you'd just be going over for sex? I mean, you can't even get her to meet with you - why would you expect that sex is gonna happen?

She honestly sounds like she's all talk at this point. One day you're going to realize that we were all right and that you should have moved on months/years before. This simping has got to stop! Writing songs for a girl that won't even meet you? C'mon bro!

Dude, writing the song isn't that bad. I was going to write a song anyways, and I needed something to write about. I shouldn't even have posted that because it's such a non factor in my eyes.

EDIT: I know her dad, I'm not friends with him. She also lives with her 2 girl friends which I don't really feel like dealing with.

Also, she's definitely taunting me to text her. She has never once sang on her snapchats until yesterday (except in fast forward chipmunk voice), and she knows that I wanted to hear her sing. Now she has 3 on there singing.

I'm not fucking texting her.

Talking to/seeing other girls would probably improve your odds with the current one as well. Just sayin'

You're probably right.

 

[gaiages]

Why can't some people just admit that there jealous?

Instead I've got a angry voice reply saying, "You don't listen and why the fuck I be jealous of Lara?" She claimed that every-time someone came over I ignored her even though it is not really true. She ranted about my female bro friend staying over for seven days on whatsapp and proceeded to whatever-ing me and other things and shes not even my GF anymore technically.

I mean uhhh. Input guys and girls plz.
[Name of friend has been changed]

...

...Why'd your female friend stay over for seven days? Did she come in from out of town or something?

 

[ZackieChan]

Holy shit @ potam 😂 that sucks dude.



Dude, writing the song isn't that bad. I was going to write a song anyways, and I needed something to write about. I shouldn't even have posted that because it's such a non factor in my eyes.

EDIT: I know her dad, I'm not friends with him. She also lives with her 2 girl friends which I don't really feel like dealing with.

Also, she's definitely taunting me to text her. She has never once sang on her snapchats until yesterday (except in fast forward chipmunk voice), and she knows that I wanted to hear her sing. Now she has 3 on there singing.

I'm not fucking texting her.



You're probably right.

It almost sounds like you're making every excuse possible to actually go over there.

Whatever man. Hope it works out, I guess. But when you're clinging onto every little sign that she may be interested, it's a bad omen.

 

[Ray Wonder]

It almost sounds like you're making every excuse possible to actually go over there.

Whatever man. Hope it works out, I guess. But when you're clinging onto every little sign that she may be interested, it's a bad omen.

We talked a shit load about her singing for me. Like a lot. Like a stupid amount that you all would probably hate me for.

Then the first day we don't text, the only thing she puts up are videos of her singing on the only social media she has. That's not clinging to small things lol. That's pretty damn clear. I'm fairly certain I'm being unbiased in that observation.

Also, I'd rather do something one on one than with a group of people that include her dad. Sorry if that's unreasonable.

 

[Nilaul]

...

...Why'd your female friend stay over for seven days? Did she come in from out of town or something?

From out of town; shes kinda like my best male bro but female.

And the other is more or less the crazy ex girlfriend (who broke up with me for ridiculous reasons) but seems to want me back (never really admitting to anything cause she doesn't like being seen as vulnerable or admitting to mistakes). I do lover her but she has too much shit in her life and somehow everything was my fault. The more I pull away and the more she comes closer and the more she freaks out.

 

[Entropia]

Is there a dating app/site for giant dorks such as myself? i think that's the only way this whole thing is gonna work out..

Any of the sites I've looked at that are focused on nerd/geek don't have that many people on them.

Honestly, don't be so focused on you being a 'giant dork'. Focus on what you want in a partner. If you see someone on OkCupid that looks like someone you'd like to get to know, then message them and see what happens!

 

[n64coder]

Also, I'd rather do something one on one than with a group of people that include her dad. Sorry if that's unreasonable.

Can you elaborate on her living situation again? She lives with her father and some girlfriends?

Why not go over there and then suggest that you go for a walk or play a board/card game? Or go to the local bakery and share a snack? Etc.

 

[Ray Wonder]

Can you elaborate on her living situation again? She lives with her father and some girlfriends?

Why not go over there and then suggest that you go for a walk or play a board/card game? Or go to the local bakery and share a snack? Etc.

She lives with her Dad and 2 girlfriends in a house, yes. It's a little bit weird, I know. lol

I'm not suggesting anything as of right now though. I'm gonna wait until/if she says she's ok to chill. That walk to the local bakery thing sounds dope though.

 

[Zaraki_Kenpachi]

We talked a shit load about her singing for me. Like a lot. Like a stupid amount that you all would probably hate me for.

Then the first day we don't text, the only thing she puts up are videos of her singing on the only social media she has. That's not clinging to small things lol. That's pretty damn clear. I'm fairly certain I'm being unbiased in that observation.

Also, I'd rather do something one on one than with a group of people that include her dad. Sorry if that's unreasonable.

No, that's called clinging. You can cling to convoluted stuff like that but at the end of the day after you hanging out or is she constantly cancelling? That's your answer, they like the attention, not the person.

 

[Ray Wonder]

No, that's called clinging. You can cling to convoluted stuff like that but at the end of the day after you hanging out or is she constantly cancelling? That's your answer, they like the attention, not the person.

She may just want attention, but the videos were clearly to get me to text her which I'm not going to do.

She actually hasn't text me yet though so you guys are probably right. 😅

 

[Kyne]

Ok so I've been seeing this girl (I've posted about her a couple of times in this thread.) We've only been on two dates in two weeks, as we've been really busy due to the holidays/work schedules, so I'm really eager to see her again.

So I asked her if she is free tomorrow and she said she's going to a free concert which sounds great, but she is going with her mom + a few friends. I really don't want to hang out with her mom/friends on only the third date, but I don't want to seem like an asshole. How do I politely decline when I've already made it clear that I'm free tomorrow?

Instead of coming off as someone saying no, come off as someone suggesting something else.

Tell her you'd rather get to know her better, just the two of you. Tell her to have fun and just hit you up whenever she's free from plans. Do it in a way that doesn't come off as if you're annoyed. Add a smiley face or something, I don't know.

What's the etiquette for when you ask whether time x is good for someone (after she suggested a date) and they see the message but don't respond? What's a good time to wait for a gentle prod?

Normally 'd just leave it, but this lady seems really suited to me.

Give it 2 days. If you're the one who messaged them last and they don't respond after 2 days, they are clearly not interested.

Or dead.

Or in a coma.

 

[gaiages]

From out of town; shes kinda like my best male bro but female.

And the other is more or less the crazy ex girlfriend (who broke up with me for ridiculous reasons) but seems to want me back (never really admitting to anything cause she doesn't like being seen as vulnerable or admitting to mistakes). I do lover her but she has too much shit in her life and somehow everything was my fault. The more I pull away and the more she comes closer and the more she freaks out.

I dunno, something about this feels... off. I can't explain it, maybe it's the tone of your posts that's throwing me off or something.

But, um, I don't really have much advice to give you. If what you're saying is the whole truth, and you really don't just ignore your ex-GF when others are around, sounds like she's a bit crazy and you should drop it like it's hot.

She may just want attention, but the videos were clearly to get me to text her which I'm not going to do.

She actually hasn't text me yet though so you guys are probably right. 😅

I'll be blunt.

Look, we get it, you really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really want this to work out with her. You don't need to explain every little scenario and be like "BUT BUT THIS". Okay, great. We've seen this same situation a billion times before, in our own lives and in this thread. And the result, the overwhelming majority of the time is the same.

Hell, there's even something in the damn OP about it.

If you don't like our advice, or do not wish to follow it, that is fine, you are not hurting anyone's feelings. But you do not need to try and convince us that your situation is different somehow. Everyone thinks their situation is unique. Thing is, it isn't.

You do you, okay? You don't need to justify yourself here. We've given you advice, we all think this situation is a waste of time for you. You don't. Okay, fine, keep doing that. Maybe it will work out after a while, maybe it won't. But shit, unless it actually works out, you're not going to convince anyone here that you're not wasting your time.

 

[electricshake]

Also, I'd rather do something one on one than with a group of people that include her dad. Sorry if that's unreasonable.

Does she not have any private space? Does she share a bedroom with these people?

But yeh you should definitely give it up.

 

[Gotdatmoney]

She may just want attention, but the videos were clearly to get me to text her which I'm not going to do.

She actually hasn't text me yet though so you guys are probably right. 😅

It'll end poorly for you. It always does when people ignore all the advice in this thread. Don't put people on pedestals. That's some dumb shit. Do what you please but desiring shit to work out does not mean anything. Respect yourself man, its a better way to be.

 

[Xun]

Perhaps I'm other thinking it (I typically do with things), but the girl I went out with the other day seems to be talking with a lot less enthusiasm via text.

She said at the end of the date that she'd let me know when she's free (I didn't prompt her on this), but I'm having doubts about that now. That said I thought the date went decently and there were never any dull moments in my opinion (despite it lasting a few hours).

She sent me a text late last night but I've not responded to it yet. It's a one liner response to something I said, so perhaps I'm wasting my time?

 

[Ray Wonder]

I'll be blunt.

Look, we get it, you really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really want this to work out with her. You don't need to explain every little scenario and be like "BUT BUT THIS". Okay, great. We've seen this same situation a billion times before, in our own lives and in this thread. And the result, the overwhelming majority of the time is the same.

Hell, there's even something in the damn OP about it.

If you don't like our advice, or do not wish to follow it, that is fine, you are not hurting anyone's feelings. But you do not need to try and convince us that your situation is different somehow. Everyone thinks their situation is unique. Thing is, it isn't.

You do you, okay? You don't need to justify yourself here. We've given you advice, we all think this situation is a waste of time for you. You don't. Okay, fine, keep doing that. Maybe it will work out after a while, maybe it won't. But shit, unless it actually works out, you're not going to convince anyone here that you're not wasting your time.

Understandable!

 

[GK86]

@Xun

Ask her out. You will get your answer there.

 

[Kyne]

Perhaps I'm other thinking it (I typically do with things), but the girl I went out with the other day seems to be talking with a lot less enthusiasm via text.

She said at the end of the date that she'd let me know when she's free (I didn't prompt her on this), but I'm having doubts about that now. That said I thought the date went decently and there were never any dull moments in my opinion (despite it lasting a few hours).

She sent me a text late last night but I've not responded to it yet. It's a one liner response to something I said, so perhaps I'm wasting my time?

sounds like you're wasting your time worrying about it.

If she really did say, and mean, that she would let you know when she was free for a second date, then wait for her to make the next move. Anything more than that you'd be wasting your time.

 

[Entropia]

Perhaps I'm other thinking it (I typically do with things), but the girl I went out with the other day seems to be talking with a lot less enthusiasm via text.

She said at the end of the date that she'd let me know when she's free (I didn't prompt her on this), but I'm having doubts about that now. That said I thought the date went decently and there were never any dull moments in my opinion (despite it lasting a few hours).

She sent me a text late last night but I've not responded to it yet. It's a one liner response to something I said, so perhaps I'm wasting my time?

Just tell her you had a nice time and ask her if she'd like to go out again.

See what happens, move on.

 

[Nilaul]

I dunno, something about this feels... off. I can't explain it, maybe it's the tone of your posts that's throwing me off or something.

But, um, I don't really have much advice to give you. If what you're saying is the whole truth, and you really don't just ignore your ex-GF when others are around, sounds like she's a bit crazy and you should drop it like it's hot.

Yeah shes crazy; time to drop it I guess. It seems that every girl I have is crazier then the one before.

 

[Royal_Phalanx]

TFW you get drunk with a bunch of people and play Never Have I Ever. They proceed to mention stuff like fucking a girl in the same room as their friend, who's fucking his GF at the same time, and other hilarious sex stories. I'm sitting there not drinking like ;_;

Wondering if I'll ever get laid any time soon, my opportunities have dwindled to almost nothing, predictably. Being a slightly later virgin due to various reasons (mostly low self esteem) really sucks, no matter how many times I try to forget about it.

Met a cutie at my temp job. Turns out she has a boyfriend and also she's a mother as well at 24. Dammit.

 

[Coda]

Well the international lady I spent a week with just got too real and I had to cancel moving it forward. It's weird because I like her but not enough to make it all work out. She was also really obsessed with sharing videos and photos of us on social media and that's kind of not my thing. I'm more private about my love/social life. It was just getting way too serious way too fast and I need to work on myself more. I guess back to OkCupid for the time being. The few months I've been away is good though, there's a lot of new sweet looking ladies on there so hopefully something new will break.

 

[Zaraki_Kenpachi]

It's a weird feeling when you finally understand why people ghost or just get turned off all of a sudden. It all makes sense 😢

 

[bluethree]

Is it kind of sad that one of the reasons Im so excited about moving in January is the potential upgrade in my dating life? Im quite attached to where I live now, but the dating scene sucks.

 

[Xun]

@Xun

Ask her out. You will get your answer there.

sounds like you're wasting your time worrying about it.

If she really did say, and mean, that she would let you know when she was free for a second date, then wait for her to make the next move. Anything more than that you'd be wasting your time.

Just tell her you had a nice time and ask her if she'd like to go out again.

See what happens, move on.

I was thinking of texting her a little bit responding to what she previously said and then following that up with "Let me know if you fancied grabbing a drink sometime " at the end. I would be more specific on a day, but she did previously say she'd let me know when she's free.

I'm unsure. :/

 

[FStop7]

Got a date with a really cute girl in Silver Lake set for Friday. I met her on Tinder - I was just about to delete my account, too. Everyone I'd matched with ended up being a flake, an out of towner just looking for a hookup, or a spammer.

 

[Visualante2]

TFW you get drunk with a bunch of people and play Never Have I Ever. They proceed to mention stuff like fucking a girl in the same room as their friend, who's fucking his GF at the same time, and other hilarious sex stories. I'm sitting there not drinking like ;_;

When I went to university I had never played this game before. I was.. 20 probably. I was the only person in the room who hadn't had sex. And the atmosphere really changed after that came out. I think I was getting pity drinks. Weird experience but kinda put a lot into perspective. I was bad at all the drinking games and ended up drunk fairly quickly and it wasn't so bad after that.

 

[Ray Wonder]

Ok I text her.

I just wanted to get it over with.

Me:
"lll just make it super simple for you
Are you still interested in me?
Like it's been two months and I've seen you twice. I kinda just want to know"

Her:
"You're overthinking it
If I didn't want to talk to you, I just wouldn't."

 

[GK86]

TFW you get drunk with a bunch of people and play Never Have I Ever. They proceed to mention stuff like fucking a girl in the same room as their friend, who's fucking his GF at the same time...

Actually how I lost my V-card lol.

Ok I text her.

I just wanted to get it over with.

Me:
"lll just make it super simple for you
Are you still interested in me?
Like it's been two months and I've seen you twice. I kinda just want to know"

Her:
"You're overthinking it
If I didn't want to talk to you, I just wouldn't."

Who in the world told you to do that?

 

[Ray Wonder]

Actually how I lost my V-card lol.



Who in the world told you to do that?

I LIVE ON THE EDGE

No one 🙃

 

[Ray Wonder]

Thing is I don't think I was overthinking anything. Like that's a long time not seeing someone you're trying to date.

I just wanted to know.

Mostly because of yinz tbh.

 

[Exr]

Dammit Rêmün...
If she was interested shed say she was right there. Look at the use of language and the wind speed

 

[Zaraki_Kenpachi]

Uhhhhhhh, you realize what she said means nothing right?

Also, notice how she just said talking with you. Not dating, hanging out, etc. Just talking

 

[Sky Chief]

Ok I text her.

I just wanted to get it over with.

Me:
"lll just make it super simple for you
Are you still interested in me?
Like it's been two months and I've seen you twice. I kinda just want to know"

Her:
"You're overthinking it
If I didn't want to talk to you, I just wouldn't."

Doesn't really mean anything, you should have said "Are you interested in dating me?"

 

[Ray Wonder]

Lol damn it

 

[Ray Wonder]

I'll show you all!
I'll be the one to beat the odds!

😂😂😂

This is kinda fun now though for real

 

[Exr]

Her saying she still wants to talk to you is completely side stepping your question. If a girl likes you she will make time for you, simple as that. You can keep dancing around the bush with weak wording like "I kinda just want to know" but its making you look foolish. Sorry if this comes off as harsh but its the truth. I know youll read this and totally ignore anyways but we are all rooting for you Ray. Pick another battle.

 

[Ray Wonder]

Her saying she still wants to talk to you is completely side stepping your question. If a girl likes you she will make time for you, simple as that. You can keep dancing around the bush with weak wording like "I kinda just want to know" but its making you look foolish. Sorry if this comes off as harsh but its the truth. I know youll read this and totally ignore anyways but we are all rooting for you Ray. Pick another battle.

You're right I'm ignoring you slightly. 😅

I'm an idiot, and I know it. ☺️

 

[ZackieChan]

You're right I'm ignoring you slightly. 😅

I'm an idiot, and I know it. ☺️

Come on, man. You must see the truth now, right?

 

[Zaraki_Kenpachi]

Come on, man. You must see the truth now, right?

I think it's time we just stop responding. Here's clearly just doing it for attention at this point. He's purposefully doing the opposite of what we've been saying like previous posters.

 

[Ray Wonder]

I think it's time we just stop responding. Here's clearly just doing it for attention at this point. He's purposefully doing the opposite of what we've been saying like previous posters.

Come on, man. You must see the truth now, right?

I'm sorry, really, I'll stop posting about this until I have something significant to update with.

I figured yinz would want to know the progress, whether it be bad or good lol

 

[Ron Mexico]

I'll show you all!
I'll be the one to beat the odds!

😂😂😂

This is kinda fun now though for real

I don't post all that often but I'm going to tell you a couple things nobody told me when I had my head up my ass.

You won't show anyone.
You won't beat the odds.
It's not fun-- it's mental gymnastics.

And you know what? It's ok. It's a learning experience.

We've all made poor decisions before. It happens. I married (and later divorced) mine and I can say without question I'm happier now than I have ever been. But at the time? To hell with you if you told me anything other than I wanted to hear. I was going to show then. I was going to beat the odds. I was going to savor making them eat their words.

Sound familiar? And that was marriage. That was after dating for 5 years prior.

This is after "seeing" her twice and an intentionally ambiguous text message.

I've never been happier in the 2 1/2 years I've been divorced. Met a great girl, learned a ton, gained a ton of perspective.

I promise you, the future is better and you'll sheepishly look at this moment wondering "What the hell was I thinking?"

 

[Ray Wonder]

I don't post all that often but I'm going to tell you a couple things nobody told me when I had my head up my ass.

You won't show anyone.
You won't beat the odds.
It's not fun-- it's mental gymnastics.

And you know what? It's ok. It's a learning experience.

We've all made poor decisions before. It happens. I married (and later divorced) mine and I can say without question I'm happier now than I have ever been. But at the time? To hell with you if you told me anything other than I wanted to hear. I was going to show then. I was going to beat the odds. I was going to savor making them eat their words.

Sound familiar? And that was marriage. That was after dating for 5 years prior.

This is after "seeing" her twice and an intentionally ambiguous text message.

I've never been happier in the 2 1/2 years I've been divorced. Met a great girl, learned a ton, gained a ton of perspective.

I promise you, the future is better and you'll sheepishly look at this moment wondering "What the hell was I thinking?"

I know I'm an idiot.

Like I said though in the previous pages I'm not going to take it too badly when/if shit goes south.

It's really just a curious thing for me at this point and I'm going to try and go through with it for a bit longer.

 

[Ron Mexico]

In other news, I do have a question for you guys regarding the holidays.

Has anyone done the "We'll set a limit of $X for Christmas"? Do you actually follow it?

This will be the first year in forever that I'm buying for a SO. The ex-wife and I quit exchanging well before we even married and anyone else I dated since happened to miss this season.

We're both in our mid-30s without kids so it's not so much a case of not having the ability but rather we're both in our mid-30s without kids so anything we really need we can just do ourselves. I'm also in the process of selling my house so I don't really want/need anything for the house, etc.

I don't know. She also has much more holiday spirit than I do. Just looking for that balance.

Thoughts?

 

[Llyranor]

Ray is treating us like the girl treats him. It's kind of meta.

 

[ZackieChan]

Ray is treating us like the girl treats him. It's kind of meta.

You're overthinking it. Of course he likes talking to us!