The cuck/bull thing (off topic thread that touches on the post too) doesn’t fit here since the dude’s wife has a girlfriend moving in.
I’m not sure what the dude expected though. I can’t imagine many relationships that start on forums end up well. Forums aren’t full of the most well-adjusted people (myself included), much less those actually trying to make friends and find romantic partners among randoms on hobbyist forums instead of in the real world or at least local dating apps.
Add in the bisexuality which is always a risk for monogamy as one person obviously can’t satisfy all their desires (not saying bisexuals can’t be monogamous, just there’s more risk) and it adds up to a relationship that was never likely to work. Not to mention all the early red flags of relationship problems he lists and yet stuck around and had kids.
Just another dude with no self esteem that latched on to the first serous relationship that cam their way and then whines about it online when it predictably goes to shit. I’ll never get why people think their relationship problems are thread worthy when most everyone has or has had them. But hey, the threads get tons of posts so what do I know.
It's always difficult when you only get one side of the story.
Like he is trying to act like he is cool with polyamory and doesn't really "believe" in monogamy but that's probably just playing to the crowd over there.
You don't get into a 12 year relationship where you have 3 kids and adopt 1 more and never be with anyone else but also you don't "believe" in monogamy.
Something else is going on there.
He meets his wife 12 years ago but she is interested in someone else at the time.
12 years go by and they get married, have 4 kids and then one day decide that polyamory is what they actually believe in.
Then immediately the wife is off with the "someone else" from 12 damn years ago?
Oh and the wife is with another woman of course but he is totally cool with it.
It just seems like too much of a convenient progressive virtue signal.
If it's all true then ResetEra is probably not the place to ask for advice.
Also I think he is technically an incel now.
Again, if it's true, the lack of self-respect and self-esteem (are they the same thing?) is worrying and it definitely looks like a community that would foster that. You know, trying to act like you have to be cool with what is an incredibly fucked up situation because you don't want to seem like some kind of raging bigot. The guy is almost apologetic that he is being treated like that.
I wonder what the wife's side of the story would be though?
"My husband started visiting this ResetEra website and now he thinks that looking at women and being attracted to them is misogyny so we don't have sex anymore and he doesn't ogle me like he once did because that's dirty dirty sexism. He kept banging on and on about polygamy and how the cis white heteronormative patriarchy is keeping me down and how I should maybe consider being LGBTQ in Trumps America. He posts on that site all day long and doesn't have much time for me so I thought, why not try it? Now the dumb cunt is promising to stick around and raise the kids while I am scissoring my new gf all day. He just sits around whining and moping and talking about how he's going to hit the gym and start dating but the fool as no money and no job. He just posts on ResetEra. Maybe we will kick him out."
The fact that he has no job and no education and that the house actually belongs to his wife implies some other reason for the marriage breaking down rather than "I am super progressive and letting my wife date women cos i'm modern and cool like that".
I love how the thread has a "wobble" once it gets going and people almost get "red pilled".
JCHandsom: I know how you feel. My girlfriend of a few years broke up with me a few weeks ago and in the end it was for similar issues; we had different priorities from each other and for her she seemed to be more in love with the kind of life we could have (home, kids, happy family stability and all that) than she was with me as a person, and I couldn’t live up to the standards she set up for me and for herself.
Stiflers Mom: I don't want to sound like some bitter red pill dude, but: That's like every relationship that went further than a fling I have ever witnessed and experienced myself. After a time it's not about you and her anymore, but about establishing and maintaining that "little company" that is your family. I think women are just wired that way. Deal with it.
Uh oh. Oh hell no! Someone is going off message! Don't worry folks. Forum Police Officer Excelsiorlef is on the case!
Excelsiorlef: Congratulations. In a thread full of wild... you topped it all. Tip for you... if you have to open with I don't want to sound like some bitter red pill dude... keep it to yourself.
Stiflers Mom: User Banned (Permanent): Misogyny
Phew. Crisis averted... wait... whats this?
Wolfgunblood: There's nothing normal or healthy about polyamorous relationships. As soon as that becomes an acceptable thought in your mind and it certainly when it becomes a real thing in your life, things are going to get real messed up for you and everyone involved.
THIS WILL NOT STAND! Polyamory Defence Force ASSEMBLE!
Excelsiorlef: Well that's just bullshit.
Wolfgunblood: I've seen it enough times. It's always weird, everyone thinks they're being weird, they're always bringing it up and how they wished so and so was also poly, and they're involved in the weirdest interpersonal drama that has no business occurring in a healthy relationship.
Excelsiorlef: And I've seen poly work just beautifully. So like I said your post is bullshit.
Excelsiorlef: So? Dude you called polyamoury unhealthy and unnatural... that's absurd. Monogamy also often ends terribly so what.
Excelsiorlef: Well I have, so now my anecdote nullifies yours so you have to not say anything further.
Aaaannd of course.
Wolfgunblood: User Banned (1 Week): Inflammatory generalizations over a series of posts in this thread.
Imagine taking relationship advice from these fucking lunatics. Especially a toxic buffoon who manages to somehow post 35,732 messages on a forum in less than 2 years. Then seeing folk get banned for giving an alternative view on the situation.
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