Finaika
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What if it was a woman?
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Who would win? Chimpanzee vs. Martial Artist
- Thread starter AllIsOneIsNone
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What if it was a woman?
AllIsOneIsNone
Banned
vs
Somewhere out there an animal behavior pyschologist is really angry right now.
TacticalFox88
Banned
The first 150 would stomp, let alone the rest of them.
The Legendaries would solo easily.
nephilimdj
Member
Only if the Martial Artist is this guy.
Maybe a mortal kombat guy, doubt ryu can fight with skin and muscle damage.
Maybe he could beat a chimp (if was alive, Mas Oyama)
crimsondynamics
Member
There's only one logical way to settle this debate:
Dana White's just leaving money on the table as far as I'm concerned.
What the fuck.
AllIsOneIsNone
Banned
There's only one logical way to settle this debate:
Dana White's just leaving money on the table as far as I'm concerned.
Lol, I was thinking a mythbusters experiment, but this is better.
Jack Remington
Banned
Do you know how much force a top level fighter can put into one of those kicks? The chimp weighs 150 lbs. The force of the kick is significantly more than that. It's just physics, Timedog.
SapientWolf
Trucker Sexologist
Anything over 150lbs of force and the chimp falls apart like a crash test dummy. You can't argue with physics.
There's only one logical way to settle this debate:
Dana White's just leaving money on the table as far as I'm concerned.
Who do I pay to see this?
Hard to land a solid roundhouse on something the height of a 5 year old.
The chimp wins. Period. No amount of mall ninja theorizing is going to change that.
Jack Remington
Banned
I was watching some science show where they measured the force of various martial arts strikes, and one must Thai striker's knee strike was measured at 1200 or 1400 pounds, something like that. Should be enough to have the monkey seeing stars, at the very least.
Consider: the chimp has no concept of striking attacks and will make no attempt to block them and almost certainly can not react quickly enough to dodge them.
DonMigs85
Member
See what kind of damage even small spider monkeys can inflict
Also, can I just say that this has been making me laugh my ass off for about 10 minutes straight and I don't know why.
Ummm, force is not a weight. You can't kick with 150 lbs force, because force depends on weight and acceleration. Force and weight are related by not directly comparable in that way. Your comparison is not physics.
FrostuTheNinja
Member
Chimp. Without a doubt. Brutal beasts.
He better pray to god that knee connects because when he pulls that knee back, there is either going to be blood on his kneecap or between his legs.
B For Bendetta
Member
Chimp wins every time. Are you crazy?
DonMigs85
Member
Bauman took his study on the road, attempting tests at the Philadelphia Zoo and making inquiries as far afield as Chicago and Cincinnati. In 1926, he returned to the Bronx Zoo, successfully testing the largest chimpanzee then in captivity. That animal, named Boma, pulled 847 pounds one-handed
http://www.slate.com/articles/health_and_science/science/2009/02/how_strong_is_a_chimpanzee.html
Wait wait wait, the op said a 150 pound chimp. Yeah they're strong but we aren't talking about a fucking silver back. The strength difference is not as big as you'd think.
Didn't a prime iron mike Tyson offer to pay a zoo keeper 10g's to be let into a gorilla cage to punch it in the face after he saw it bully others?
Prime Tyson would crush a weak arse chump-anzie nose bare fisted as he would have any other human.
If we're talking about a big atheltic 200+ pound skilled fighter, I'd back the fighter.
Didn't a prime iron mike Tyson offer to pay a zoo keeper 10g's to be let into a gorilla cage to punch it in the face after he saw it bully others?
Prime Tyson would crush a weak arse chump-anzie nose bare fisted as he would have any other human.
If we're talking about a big atheltic 200+ pound skilled fighter, I'd back the fighter.
GraveHorizon
poop meter feature creep
Chimps can't evade? Bullshit.
Jack Remington
Banned
Fuck yes. Thick skull or no, a 150 lb animal isn't taking a punch from prime Tyson.
No, that did not happen. A Gorilla is strong enough to lift 4,000 lbs over it's head. That's 2 cars at the same time.
Ugh the term "Martial Arts Master", is so stupid.
The guys in the UFC, they are "Martial Arts masters". Pretty much the best in the entire world at what they do, and the martial arts they compete in.
If you ask 100 of them if they could beat a chimp. 100 would say no and wonder if you were slow.
You can't Knock a Chimp Out.
They are faster than us.
They are 10 - 20 X as strong.
Without weapons, humans stand no chance. No matter the human.
The guys in the UFC, they are "Martial Arts masters". Pretty much the best in the entire world at what they do, and the martial arts they compete in.
If you ask 100 of them if they could beat a chimp. 100 would say no and wonder if you were slow.
You can't Knock a Chimp Out.
They are faster than us.
They are 10 - 20 X as strong.
Without weapons, humans stand no chance. No matter the human.
GraveHorizon
poop meter feature creep
Wait, I thought the martial artist was 150 pounds as well? Not that it matters, because the chimp would still win.
crimsondynamics
Member
The same article contains contradicting data:
So stronger, yes - but their strength is all concentrated in their arms which is why they may be perceived to be much stronger. Also, have you seen chimanzee nails? They are like claws! No wonder they can easily tear through flesh, especially if you consider the PSIs a chimpanzee's grip can generate, concentrated in such a small surface area.
I just thought of something too: It'd be hard for a chimpanzee to pull signifantly more than its own weight because of how light it is compared to a human, so pulling perhaps isn't the best gauge of measuring a chimpanzee's strength. Throwing, or hand-grip pressure against a human opponent would far favor a chimpanzee with regards to outcome.
SCULLIBUNDO
Banned
What about a human chimp martial artist like that dude who gets bear-hugged to death in Blood Sport vs some sort of Giraffe Sous Chef?
Air Zombie Meat
Member
Yeah, gotta go with the chimp. They're quicker, stronger and more vicious with sharp teeth and nails. Once they get a grip on you it's over.
Here is a comparison for you. Pick up a 10 pound weight, and throw it as far as you can across your lawn.
A silver back could throw a prime mike tyson that far.
Now lets talk about this again.
Lets say you weigh 150 pounds.
Silverbacks can lift 4000 pounds.
So if a Prime Mike Tyson weighed 250 pounds, it would be like you lifting up 9.3 pounds.
Not to mention, it has teeth that can rip off your face, grip power that can crush your bones, and does not have the same nerve in it's jaw that makes humans able to be knocked out by other humans. Tyson would hit it, then it would rip Tyson's left off, castrate him (as with chimps, they go for this first), then start ripping off random parts of his body.
What???? Force=Mass(which is completely different than weight)* acceleration. Force and mass are most definitely proportionally related as governed by Newton's second law of motion.
The impact of a hit has to do with the force behind it, the surface area of the striking object, and the time of impact. You hear about boxers pulling punches which means they strike they also try to pull back there punch as fast as possibly to decrease the time in which the punch is actually landing to inflict even more pain.
AllIsOneIsNone
Banned
UFC fighters arent always the brightest star in the sky, im sure at least a couple out of those hundred would say different. And when you were reading what I wrote, did you really think by "martial arts master" I meant someone like that? There are fighters out there that could take a ufc fighter down in a heartbeat.
rofl
Tyson would have gotten literally killed.
I don't think people have a proper appreciation of just how strong these animals are.
vivftp
Member
Ok, how are chimpanzees for running endurance? If Humans are superior, maybe the martial artist can tire the chimp out by having it chase him in the grassy field, then once it's dead tired he can strike. This is about the only chance I can think the Human has, and that's provided he has greater endurance than the chimp to keep away from it.
A
A More Normal Bird
Unconfirmed Member
That article opens by doubting that chimps could be 5 times as strong as humans because that would mean they could bench press over 1 ton (5x250lbs). The raw bench press record is over 700lbs.
LOL. You know that the Master Roshi looking dudes living on remote islands who can focus their chi into knocking down palm trees with a single strike don't actually exist right?
I'm very sure OP is trolling at this point.
Humans are actually in the top tier of the animal kingdom when it comes to endurance. That is, we would be if we were still living in our natural environment.
There was a video of a hunter chasing an impala to exhaustion but I'm too lazy to search for it.
Humans are actually in the top tier of the animal kingdom when it comes to endurance. That is, we would be if we were still living in our natural environment.
There was a video of a hunter chasing an impala to exhaustion but I'm too lazy to search for it.
The chimps fist is up your ass and your dick in its mouth at the same time.
It's not a fair fight really. But "sports" fans will tell you how their favourite athlete will beat dinosaurs with bare hands.
So for the dudes who think a high level MMA fighter could just leg kick to a decision victory, are you taking into consideration that a chimp isn't going to stand there and check kicks? Chimps don't hang and bang. They take shit to the ground immediately and wrestle fuck your arms and dick off.
toastyToast
Member
If the dude can get the chimp in an armbar it's fucked
Probably better off shoving your arm down its throat to gag it.
AllIsOneIsNone
Banned
Its not that I'm trolling, it's more that i know my opinion is probably wrong. Witht that said, I still haven't seen anybody prove that beyond a shadow of a doubt.
B For Bendetta
Member
Ah well there was where you and your roommate's disagreement has stemmed from all along. You have some fictional metaphysical Kill Bill combatant that you have dreamed up. If you would have just told us you were talking about Goku in the first place we all would have agreed with you.
Name one. Degree of difficulty: Not Goku
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