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Who would win? Chimpanzee vs. Martial Artist

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Me and my friends have an ongoing argument. A Chimpanzee, a wild animal with incredible strength, when put in a dire situation against a highly trained martial artist. We'll put an average male chimpanzee at 150 pounds against a martial arts master. Both animals, released from their respective cages into a grassy arena, who would take the crown? Would a chimp get ahold of the martial artist immediately and rip their face off? Or would the focused martial artist evade attacks and focus their power in order to win?

I personally would place bets on the martial artist. The overwhelming percentage of friends that disagree with me watch too many shows about a chimp's brute strength stats, and their believe their recklessness couldn't be combated.

My friend is watching me type this and is calling me a fucking moron. "It's a fucking chimpanzee, are you fucking stupid?"
 

way more

Member
The chimp. The man knows how to fight a man. And a chimp is just too strong and his grapple would be unbeatable. He's basically got four arms! Also the chimp would bite.
 

Keikaku

Member
Well, are you fucking stupid? :p

In all seriousness, a chimp would destroy pretty much any human in hand to hand fighting.
 

teh_pwn

"Saturated fat causes heart disease as much as Brawndo is what plants crave."
Let's make it more interesting:
Chimp martial artist
Vs
Fat dude with a gun
 

Surface of Me

I'm not an NPC. And neither are we.
Anybody remember the GAF thread about a million moneys against the entire U.S. Military?


Yeah, the military would still win.
 

Avixph

Member
Chimps go for the genitals first.

And of course the fucking chimp wins. It's a fucking chimpanzee, are you fucking stupid?

image.php


Are you happy?

Anyways the chimp would win with brute strength alone.
 

usea

Member
The only way the human could win is if the chimp didn't know it was a battle and it was in a peaceful mood that day, and the human knew that and devised some strategy to take advantage of it. But that's very unlikely.

The chimp would just fucking demolish a dude. Even 8 dudes would get annihilated.
 

AKingNamedPaul

I am Homie
The problem would be that the human wouldn't be able to kill or K.O the chimp as easily as he can a human and the longer the fight plays out the higher the chances are of the human dying. give the human a weapon or any sort of environmental advantage and his intelligence would give him the upper hand, but face to face, he doesn't have what it takes to end it fast enough.

If the chimp didn't know it was a fight at first and the human collapsed his throat with a kick or something, maybe, but I doubt it would play out like that.
 
A Chimpanzee obviously. I can only feel bad for the person that goes 1 on 1 versus a chimpazee. I wouldn't feel safe even having a gun.
 
I love how OP lists casually references "focus their power" like we're talking about Dragon Ball Z.


Wait.....are we talking about Dragon Ball Z?
 

SapientWolf

Trucker Sexologist
I've seen chimps take a monkey and rip and eat pieces off of it with their bare hands like it was a Thanksgiving turkey. I wouldn't go up against a chimp with anything less than a flamethrower.
 

stormer

Member
lol are you serious OP? the chimp would absolutely crush a man.. if he got a hold of your face your ears would be torn off in a flash..
 

Avixph

Member
I've seen chimps take a monkey and rip and eat pieces off of it with their bare hands like it was a Thanksgiving turkey. I wouldn't go up against a chimp with anything less than a flamethrower.

Yeah and then you you have a flaming angry chimpanzee.
 

Az987

all good things
why are chimp's' muscles so strong compared to ours?

They say that a big reason chimps can lift heavier things than we can, is that they have less control over how much muscle they use each time they lift. Humans have a lot more fine motor control than chimps: we can do things like play a guitar, paint teeny tiny lines or thread a needle.

Chimps can’t, because of the way their neurons activate their muscles—they can’t pick and choose just a few muscle fibers at a time. We might not be able to fight off a chimp, but we can make some pretty amazing needlepoints.

So lets see a martial artist vs a chimp in an air guitar contest.
 
why are chimp's' muscles so strong compared to ours?

Indeed, biologists have uncovered differences in muscle architecture between chimpanzees and humans. But evolutionary biologist Alan Walker, a professor at Penn State University, thinks muscles may only be part of the story.
In an article published in the April issue of Current Anthropology, Walker argues that humans may lack the strength of chimps because our nervous systems exert more control over our muscles.

Our fine motor control prevents great feats of strength, but allows us to perform delicate and uniquely human tasks.

Walker's hypothesis stems partly from a finding by primatologist Ann MacLarnon. MacLarnon showed that, relative to body mass, chimps have much less grey matter in their spinal cords than humans have. Spinal grey matter contains large numbers of motor neurons—nerves cells that connect to muscle fibers and regulate muscle movement.
More grey matter in humans means more motor neurons, Walker proposes. And having more motor neurons means more muscle control.

Our surplus motor neurons allow us to engage smaller portions of our muscles at any given time. We can engage just a few muscle fibers for delicate tasks like threading a needle, and progressively more for tasks that require more force.
Conversely, since chimps have fewer motor neurons, each neuron triggers a higher number of muscle fibers. So using a muscle becomes more of an all-or-nothing proposition for chimps. As a result, chimps often end up using more muscle than they need.
"[A]nd that is the reason apes seem so strong relative to humans," Walker writes.
Our finely-tuned motor system makes a wide variety of human tasks possible. Without it we couldn't manipulate small objects, make complex tools or throw accurately. And because we can conserve energy by using muscle gradually, we have more physical endurance—making us great distance runners.

Great apes, with their all-or-nothing muscle usage, are explosive sprinters, climbers and fighters, but not nearly as good at complex motor tasks
. In other words, chimps make lousy guests in china shops.

In addition to fine motor control, Walker suspects that humans also may have a neural limit to how much muscle we use at one time. Only under very rare circumstances are these limits bypassed—as in the anecdotal reports of people able to lift cars to free trapped crash victims.
"Add to this the effect of severe electric shock, where people are often thrown violently by their own extreme muscle contraction, and it is clear that we do not contract all our muscle fibers at once," Walker writes. "So there might be a degree of cerebral inhibition in people that prevents them from damaging their muscular system that is not present, or not present to the same degree, in great apes."

Walker says that testing his hypothesis that humans have more motor neurons would be fairly straightforward. However, he concedes that testing whether humans have increased muscle inhibition could be a bit more problematic.

.
 

vivftp

Member
Hmm... chimp vs. German Sheppard? I figure if it comes to it, a Human could likely take down the dog, so I'm guessing the likely conclusion is the chimp could take the dog?

Ooooh, how about chimp vs. anaconda? Could the chimp concievably rip it apart or beat it to death?
 
An untrained ultra athletic male may not know how to throw a punch better than a guy 50 pounds lighter than him. I think strength isn't near as much a factor as people think. A 300 pound body builder may be able to bench 500 pounds, but if he can't throw a punch or block correctly, he's likely toast against someone like bruce lee.

Chimps are built differently so their brute force may be seen as more of an advantage, but a chimp's untrained mind will have many limitations of the 300 pound body builder. They don't know how to punch with their full body weight, they don't know how to throw their body. They just reach for you and rip wildly. If you know exactly how something is going to attack, you can know how to respond. Foresight, planning, accuracy.
 

DonMigs85

Member
Hmm... chimp vs. German Sheppard? I figure if it comes to it, a Human could likely take down the dog, so I'm guessing the likely conclusion is the chimp could take the dog?

Ooooh, how about chimp vs. anaconda? Could the chimp concievably rip it apart or beat it to death?
The chimp would just do this to the dog

kongtoy1.jpg
 
An untrained ultra athletic male may not know how to throw a punch better than a guy 50 pounds lighter than him. I think strength isn't near as much a factor as people think. A 300 pound body builder may be able to bench 500 pounds, but if he can't throw a punch or block correctly, he's likely toast against someone like bruce lee.

Chimps are built differently so their brute force may be seen as more of an advantage, but a chimp's untrained mind will have many limitations of the 300 pound body builder. They don't know how to punch with their full body weight, they don't know how to throw their body. They just reach for you and rip wildly. If you know exactly how something is going to attack, you can know how to respond. Foresight, planning, accuracy, Batman.

Fixed :p
 
An untrained ultra athletic male may not know how to throw a punch better than a guy 50 pounds lighter than him. I think strength isn't near as much a factor as people think. A 300 pound body builder may be able to bench 500 pounds, but if he can't throw a punch or block correctly, he's likely toast against someone like bruce lee.

Chimps are built differently so their brute force may be seen as more of an advantage, but a chimp's untrained mind will have many limitations of the 300 pound body builder. They don't know how to punch with their full body weight, they don't know how to throw their body. They just reach for you and rip wildly. If you know exactly how something is going to attack, you can know how to respond. Foresight, planning, accuracy.

There's not enough foresight in the world to protect you from the strength of a chimp. If you knew the exact way it was going to come at you and shielded yourself, it would just grab your arm (or whatever you used) and break it in half. The only way your comparison works is if you can dodge the chimp from even touching you, which wouldn't be possible. If it gets to you just once, it's over.
 
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