-
Hey, guest user. Hope you're enjoying NeoGAF! Have you considered registering for an account? Come join us and add your take to the daily discourse.
Who would win? Chimpanzee vs. Martial Artist
- Thread starter AllIsOneIsNone
- Start date
- Status
No way is that real. WTF is up with its arms?
Is it weird of me that I kinda want to see a clip of a man doing a female chimp?
yeah, but how about an female orangutan?
Jack Remington
Banned
There is evidence that the xhimp's strength advantage is not as overwhelming as its made out to be.
Seems like I'm in the minority here though. Damn, I wonder what it feels like to have so little faith in the human potential to overcome a challenge.
Nope, a Martial Artist has a much better chance against a baboon.
Edmond Dantès
Dantès the White
Male Kangaroos really do have such high levels of muscle mass.
Also;
Kangaroo Dundee documentary.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IRUsXbb0WWg&feature=youtube_gdata_player
Jack Remington
Banned
You know that the kick can be aimed low, right? Nothing inherent about a roundhouse kick that says it has to be aimed at human head level. There are plenty of other moves the human could use as well.
The biggest advantage the chimp has at this point is its set of teeth. Put a muzzle on that chimp, and we may have to talk about giving the chimp odds to make it fair for chimp backers.
Fuck, I wish Kim Jong In would do this for real and announce it ahead of time so I could take all of you guys' money.
Are you like 14 years old?
Jack Remington
Banned
no one would attempt to fight a chip. Doing so would mean, even if you win, missing body parts or half your skin missing.
As much as I'd want an upright bipedal to win, I still think he would lose even if he had the best grappling/striking skills possible. I've done some brazilian jiu jitsu, and it's hard to imagine using the same grappling techniques against something much smaller, stronger, faster. Chimps have amazing dexterity, once they hold onto you i.e..finger, face, schlong...they won't let go until it's broken off.
Well it's nothing concrete, but I remember Baboons being really ferocious in some documentaries. They aren't afraid of cheetahs or anything and can run as fast as dogs. Their teeth are much more deadly than those of chimps.
Oh, humans are able to overcome most things quite well.
With automatic rifles and tanks.
Edmond Dantès;49635324 said:
Damn
These pictures of them hunched over makes them look like gorillas.
They use it mostly when fighting to grab their opponents so they can use their legs to disembowel them.
Humans can certainly overcome the challenge with their intelligence. Just not with our strength. Compared to the rest of the animal kingdom we're pretty pathetic in that regard.
Herbspiceguy
Member
Once the chimp gets a hold of the fighter, he will probably rip him apart.
If the fighter is able to dodge the chimps attacks I'm not sure who'd win, because then it comes down to; who has better conditioning and gas tank, and is a human fighter capable of doing enough damage to a chimp?
Also if there are no rules the fighter could fight dirty like poking the eyes.
If the fighter is able to dodge the chimps attacks I'm not sure who'd win, because then it comes down to; who has better conditioning and gas tank, and is a human fighter capable of doing enough damage to a chimp?
Also if there are no rules the fighter could fight dirty like poking the eyes.
We're pretty damn good long-distance runners, though, even by animal standards.
Yeah. The story of the Russian family who lived deep in the forest was amazing, capturing animals not by killing them but by chasing them and tiring them out, while bare footed.
Still, that wouldn't help in a fight against a chimp, it won't be an endurance challenge.
AKingNamedPaul
I am Homie
We can all go home, human plumber wins.
No, I'm aware. Just saying that there are physical skills in which we perform well versus animals. We're just not that strong or quick compared to many of them. But that's where the whole intellectual side comes in.
Basically, we're devious fucks. We are the Batman of the animal kingdom.
AKingNamedPaul
I am Homie
Those pictures don't really do much because there are humans who are much ..much more muscular, but I wouldn't bet on the human being stronger. Show some feats of strength by a chimp or something.
Dion Blaster
Member
Chimps are creepy as fuck. Something almost human about their faces and bodies, but more sinister. I'm not sure if that's because I know it's 5 stronger than it looks, or that it probably wants to kill me.
Not only kill, but torture and mutilate before killing you.
Dion Blaster
Member
Also the biggest takeaway from this thread is hippos, it seems that other than an elephant or an occasional rhino they are unstoppable killing machines.
MrOogieBoogie
BioShock Infinite is like playing some homeless guy's vivid imagination
MrOogieBoogie
BioShock Infinite is like playing some homeless guy's vivid imagination
Edmond Dantès;49635324 said:Male Kangaroos really do have such high levels of muscle mass.
Also;
Kangaroo Dundee documentary.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IRUsXbb0WWg&feature=youtube_gdata_player
Impressive, but then you see something like this:
Brolic lion intimidating crocodile
And you're like, "Oh yeah, some animals are elite for a reason."
MoonLightWave
Member
Give the man a weapon and it will be more even. A knife or a sword.
That lion was jacked as fuck.
look up hippo/crocodile videos. There's one where a hippo casually strolls through a couple dozen crocodiles resting on the sandbank and they don't dare moving because they know the hippo will fuck up their day. Or the vid where a hippo is being attacked by a lion pride and it crushes the skull of one of the lioness before walking off. Hippos are mean motherfuckers
only if the monkey also gets a knife
Necromanti
Member
Humans have come as far as they have through running away from and outsmarting predators, and killing prey indirectly (through exhaustion) or through tool use. I don't think it will matter how trained a person is when it comes to hand-to-hand combat, and chimps are pretty powerful. The odds, at least, favor the chimp.
It would be incredibly tragic to see a great or even legendary fighter go against a chimp. Anyone that thought the fighter had a chance would be emotionally crushed almost instantly.
I have a friend that used to swear that he could probably take a full-grown bear 1v1 if he had a knife. Everyone I know made fun of this friend for his assertion. I may actually like his odds better vs the bear than the chimp.
I have a friend that used to swear that he could probably take a full-grown bear 1v1 if he had a knife. Everyone I know made fun of this friend for his assertion. I may actually like his odds better vs the bear than the chimp.
equippedwithtowel
Member
Not really, how much damage can a knife do before the chimp closes the distance, a sword is only marginally better. The only melee weapon devastating enought to ensure a human win would be a warhammer or flail.
Depends on the type of bear...
To plum you and knee you into another dimension?
Elephant?
equippedwithtowel
Member
How can choke-hold someone massive stronger than you with fangs?
Imagine fighting a guy twice as tall as you, but his arms are also half as long and strong as yours and his grip strength is roughly 20% as strong as yours. Could this guy really keep you in a choke or armbar if you didn't want him to?
- Status
Similar threads
- Poll
- Locked