Why am I fighting a perverted chimp?
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Who would win? Chimpanzee vs. Martial Artist
- Thread starter AllIsOneIsNone
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Why am I fighting a perverted chimp?
Jack Remington
Banned
I'm 100% serious in my assertion that someone like prime Mike Tyson would KO a chimp before it could do much damage.
The chimp has never taken a hit like that or felt anywhere near that concussive force. One well-aimed punch and Bubbles don't feel so good no more.
In addition, Tyson, Lesnar, etc aren't 60 year old women. They're men in the top percentile of human strength. I seriously doubt the chimp would be able to just rip anything.
But for the sake of argument, suppose the fighter's testicles are protected, or we send in a fighter who lacks testicles, like Mayweather. Bubbles is proper fucked then.
i would pay money to see that very same lion trying to do that same shit to a Deinosuchus.
Jack Remington
Banned
Dude, give ME a combat knife, and I'll kill a chimp. With a sword it's no contest.
TheMan
Member
my impression of martial arts is that it mostly builds fitness, confidence, and balance. All can be helpful in a fight, but when fighting against a thug who doesn't give a fuck about rules or a chimp who doesn't know the rules anyway, all that hiya bullshit isn't gonna save your ass.
Get its back. And if the chimp is allowed to bite,you can poke its eyes out
If he didn't know anything about grappling I think it's possible.
Do martial artists really apply their knowledge on street fights? From what I've seen, they look just like any other person would. There's no coordination or anything. Remember a street fight is completely different from an MMA fight.
A chimp fight would be more like a street fight than anything, I really don't think the human could stop and apply his martial thing against a chimp that does not give a single shit about rules because #YOLO.
A chimp fight would be more like a street fight than anything, I really don't think the human could stop and apply his martial thing against a chimp that does not give a single shit about rules because #YOLO.
B For Bendetta
Member
It is the equivalent of an adult fighting a baby
Chimps have thicker and larger jaws/skulls than humans. A Mike Tyson punch wouldn't fuck them up too bad and they'd simply proceed to biting Tyson's ear off before ripping his face apart.
equippedwithtowel
Member
Get its back. And if the chimp is allowed to bite,you can poke its eyes out
If he didn't know anything about grappling I think it's possible.
Chips are faster, stronger and can fight through more pain then almost any human.
http://www.slate.com/articles/health_and_science/science/2009/02/how_strong_is_a_chimpanzee.html
No MMA training is overcoming that gap in strength.
Vulcano's assistant
Banned
It is a matter of whether the martial artists can find a tool in his environment.
He could use his clothes as a weapon if he finds a rock. But an empty arena with both of them nude? Hard not to bet on the Chimp. The teeth make all the difference imo.
He could use his clothes as a weapon if he finds a rock. But an empty arena with both of them nude? Hard not to bet on the Chimp. The teeth make all the difference imo.
What if we let the baby put you in an armbar. Do you think you could escape from that?
Always-honest
Banned
Yeah you'd need something more powerful than a Mike Tyson punch. Maybe a really hard lowkick would fuck up a chimp. But you would have to be fast as fuck and kick as hard as the best lowkick specialists in the world.
Jack Remington
Banned
Suppose we applied the single caveat that the chimp is muzzled. You're right, the fangs are intimidating.
endresults
Member
Dude, you would get fucking murdered by a chimp. Hell, you'd get wrecked by a wolverine, and those are half the weight of a chimp.
Judging an animal by its size is about the dumbest thing you can do. Yeah, a chimp is smaller, but their arms and shoulders have been honed by evolution to be super levers. Can you imagine how much force that little squat monkey (
that's about to murder you
But yeah, good luck with that knife thing.
Vulcano's assistant
Banned
I actually think that if we give them both a weapon (not a knife ffs, a sword at least) it would level the fight a lot towards the martial artists.
Mutanthands
Member
You want to give the chimpanzee a sword? Maybe so that he accidentally falls on it before tearing the martial artist's genitals and face off?
chixdiggit
Member
You guys are completely off the mark if you think Martial Arts does not make a big difference in any kind of fight. A well trained martial artist would destroy anybody not trained for combat.
Jack Remington
Banned
The 60s tests supported a chimp strength level of about 2x that of a human, pound for pound.
If we put a 150 lb chimp in against a 250 lb fighter who is pure muscle from head to toe, the strength advantage is largely negated. The human's skill and ability to improvise should carry the day.
If we put a 150 lb chimp in against a 250 lb fighter who is pure muscle from head to toe, the strength advantage is largely negated. The human's skill and ability to improvise should carry the day.
Jack Scofield
Member
I remember someone asked this question a few years ago: who would win, a silverback gorilla vs 20 MMA fighters. I remember laughing at the absurdity of the premise.
Always-honest
Banned
There would be a huge difference in speed though.
highrider
Banned
Wild animals have a level of strength that is difficult for a human to comprehend. Even a domesticated animal like a dog. I watched a black lab on the eastern shore attack another dog and it was just mauling it. The owner grabbed a thick piece of wood and wacked it with the type of blow that could kill a person. The dog literally didn't even notice it. Fortunately it stopped.
Easy_Money
Neo Member
You're still left with a thicker skull, a higher pain threshold and quickness. Not to mention nobody can explain the unified rules of mixed martial arts to a chimp.
:lol, this thread.
crazy monkey
Banned
how are people even defending humans. Without arms human are fucking weak. Chimp would fuck you and kill you without any problem.
Funky Papa
FUNK-Y-PPA-4
Most people thinking that a martial artist would have an edge over the chimp seem to ignore how they fight. Chimps don't corner you and proceed to pound your ass like a gorilla; they hit you once and then bounce back to safety before attacking again. And they are fast as hell.
Claw face off, retreat. Maul genitals, retreat. Unless the human got a VERY lucky first punch (and a hell of a good one) he'd be fucked for real.
They're pretty docile compared to hippos. I think Hippos kill more humans than any other animal in Africa.
And most importantly the roundhouse kick. It can fell any savage beast that approaches humans.
Jack Remington
Banned
You still have to deal with the fact that chimps are faster, have thicker bones, fangs, and basically 4 arms.
I honestly feel like that's bullshit.. I feel like no matter how well trained you are, if a huge guy comes at you and he has a massive size advantage you are pretty much fucked
According to his: http://a-z-animals.com/animals/chimpanzee/
Their max land speed is 40kph/25mph.
Fastest human ever ran 27.70 mph.
Vulcano's assistant
Banned
A chimpanzee with a sword is a hobgoblin, I can imagine that one loosing against a human.
But one of the reasons a human is formidable is the ability to formulate and use weapons (could you imagine if squirrels or spiders or something were as intelligent and vindictive as humans?). So by putting a man and a chimp in hand-to-hand combat, you're essentially crippling the human. I think it'd be fairer if you asked like...man vs. chimp missing an arm and half a leg.
If we're only going to go on physical traits, humans would be so screwed against so much of the world.
If we're only going to go on physical traits, humans would be so screwed against so much of the world.
... Now imagine if they were fighting with no rules and the big guy was punching his face and throwing him around
Edmond Dantès
Dantès the White
You get a real sense of how vicious Chimps can be in the following two videos, not to mention their strength, speed, agility and hunting guile.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yZhsM9OzeEo
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a7XuXi3mqYM
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yZhsM9OzeEo
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a7XuXi3mqYM
chixdiggit
Member
No. Lets look at 185 pound Anderson Silva. Watch and try to tell me that an average 300 pound man that doesn't know how to fight would stand a chance. Doubtful he would even land a blow.
Always-honest
Banned
I don't think a martial art guy would have the edge though.
But i have seen people who can give a (low)kick (chimps are not that tall
) that would hurt a chimp though. A punch won't do shit imo.
I agree with the rest.
They are in a fight.
SquiddyCracker
Banned
Now a fight between a Gorilla and Chimpanzee - that's interesting!
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