blame space
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i think that would be her outward, then inward, then outward attractiveness.
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How many sexual partners for girls is too many?
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FrostuTheNinja
Member
Then back inward.
CornBurrito
Member
I'm sorry if I don't want slutty trashy hoes who prefer bad dudes who treat them wrong instead of nice guys like me who hold open doors for them, listen to them bitch and complain about their stupid boyfriends, and cry myself to sleep night after night because they can't see the plain truth that I'm the best match for them!
False. Unless you count Ancient Rome as "new" or bonobos and dolphins as new. You do realize other non-human animals without modern contraceptives have sex for pleasure right?
blame space
Banned
let's just all agree to never touch each other ever again. we'll just die off and everything will work out.
Shy Fingers
Banned
Less frequent than you streetpass on a 3DS and I think you're good.
TacticalFox88
Banned
This is an example of "beta shaming".
Where feminists try to imply that men are betas (which is meant as an insult) if they hold views the feminist is opposed to.
And since we are being honest here, the most Alpha thing of all is to not give a single fuck what women think of anything. So I am not sure feminists should be so eager to beta shame.
goldenpp72
Member
If everyone were nice and honest people this issue would be very simple, the problem is people speak of people who sleep around and nail 50 people as if they can not have a lot of baggage or be potential time bombs to a person who desires a long term commitment. One has to ask, if you felt the need to fuck 50 people right before you met me, why is it now that drive is totally gone and you just want me? It's not stupid to assume that can lead to disaster, but exceptions apply to each person and myself, I allow each person to tell their side so I can assess if it makes sense to me. For reference, the girl i'm with now was a virgin and we've been together 6 years, the girl I was with prior to her had 4 partners before me, she claimed up and down she was ready to settle in, but then decided she was a bit too young and needed an arbitrary amount of time to 'let loose' before then settling down. She is now a single mom who approached me to rekindle our relationship after that fact. I cared a lot about both women and would have done my best to make it work with either, the problem is one was already wanting the life I wanted and the other did not, and to do so is for her to 'settle down' and basically refrain from doing wild shit rather than not wanting to do it at all.
Thing is, I have the instinct that says its sexy, fuck it, but I also have the mentality that says get a house, live in peace and enjoy the life portions that don't revolve around sex and don't compromise them so I can try a new hole. A person who has similar values to me is in my mind less likely to cause me destruction in my life. On the same token, i'd hope a person who does like sleeping around would see my values and say, this person is not for me, unfortunately for both sides that is not how it works and to this day, most people feel the need to lie in order to meet either intention (quick lay or relationship). I have a very beautiful and sweet girlfriend who i'd like to marry and continue living a low stress life with, and that's just how I like it, one mans boring is another mans dream life
As for the OP's scenario, I do not think you should dump a person simply based on a number of partners, many different reasons can lead a person to doing whatever they do, and they very well can ultimately fit the life you want just fine. Judging by the fact the OP's friend feels a need to place a number on how many sex partners is 'acceptable' however, it kind of shows how many people have absolutely shit judgement, and that's why it's best to play the odds in your favor regardless of your side, even if at times you may filter someone who might have been a good fit.
MilkLizard
Member
30+ at the age of 24 is a little high in my opinion, but it doesn't matter. Especially not if protection was always involved.
It's a silly reason to break up with someone over that. Guess your friend is a very insecure person. Sex is great and everyone should enjoy it as much as possible with anyone they want. Just use some protection, that's all.
It's a silly reason to break up with someone over that. Guess your friend is a very insecure person. Sex is great and everyone should enjoy it as much as possible with anyone they want. Just use some protection, that's all.
Promiscuity by definition is indiscriminate sex, that is already faulty to describe everyone who has a sex life you disagree with. If you're going to generalize and apply negative connotations to sex outside the confines of what you deem worthy, than we may not as well have a candid conversation at all. You might as well just call them whores, sluts..ect.... fuck call them the spawn of satan... its all the same shit, if you already willing to throw around insults like its the right thing to do.
blame space
Banned
how did it work out, did people treat you like a girl?
Evolution_1ne
Banned
If you don't care then you are no different than an un-evolved ape.
Morals are what differentiate civilization from chaos.
And logically? Are you the tallest male in the world? No.
So what are the odds you are the greatest lover?
When you date a girl. You are either her best or somewhere below that.
Why would you want to be anything less than her best? Her best in every way.
Not just sex of course.
But sex IS A PART OF IT.
If you settle. You are letting base instinct dictate whom you should love.
So ...
1. optimal communication
2. optimal sexual compatibility
3. synergized aspirations.
4. hobbies and interests that can intertwine.
And whatever else . But those are pretty much the essentials.
Morals are what differentiate civilization from chaos.
And logically? Are you the tallest male in the world? No.
So what are the odds you are the greatest lover?
When you date a girl. You are either her best or somewhere below that.
Why would you want to be anything less than her best? Her best in every way.
Not just sex of course.
But sex IS A PART OF IT.
If you settle. You are letting base instinct dictate whom you should love.
So ...
1. optimal communication
2. optimal sexual compatibility
3. synergized aspirations.
4. hobbies and interests that can intertwine.
And whatever else . But those are pretty much the essentials.
Vermillion
Banned
Even still, if we don't know the specific reasons behind the divorce, we cannot cite something so nebulous as "reliability." We don't know how many of these things came from puritanical behaviors of the male, religious reasons, etc. Perhaps the study is actually pointing to a need for introspection. Furthermore, we don't have the corresponding data for men, which confounds the study further. In the end, we only know this - premarital sexual activity in the earlier teenage years correlates (not causes) with increased divorce rates.
What I quoted earlier was a response to the paragraph before it - fine. But the last sentence of said paragraph says that we cannot rule out the second hypotheses, which is then illustrated by not completely wanted intercourse, or traumatic intercourse, the latter implying rape.
So I can't draw the same conclusion as you did - that adolescent sexual activity for females leads to higher divorce rates.
blame space
Banned
if i'm going to entertain the thought of sex with a woman i need her to be experienced with at least 100 men, and have references so i can ask them what she is like.
Who Morales? I know people with that name and I'm ready for them to save me.
readLeader
Banned
The dictionary I have lying around here (Oxford Advanced Learner's) states under "promiscuous": "having many sexual partners". That is exactly what I meant to describe.
I didn't play it up enough. I just had the little female symbol. No one seemed to care.
FrostuTheNinja
Member
I always get an emergency contact number. Gotta have those bases covered!
evilernLeGG
Member
It's been said over and over, but why does it matter? Seriously, why?
Is it going to be awkward if she fucked someone you know? Who fucking cares. She's dating you.
I've dated girls who've slept with ONLY me and they were awful girlfriends. I've dated girls who have been with over 70 people and they were better girlfriends than the "perfect ones". It doesn't matter. It doesn't define the type of person you are.
I know everyone has their own preferences and morality standpoints, but I frankly think less of someone when they're concerned over a subject such as this. It's just an amazing amount of insecurity. Why would you break up with someone you've been dating for a while (which indicates, beyond other things, a decent relationship) over something like this?
I've skimmed the thread, but as long as they're clean and having sex because they enjoy it (other issues aside) and are safe, what's the issue?
Is it going to be awkward if she fucked someone you know? Who fucking cares. She's dating you.
I've dated girls who've slept with ONLY me and they were awful girlfriends. I've dated girls who have been with over 70 people and they were better girlfriends than the "perfect ones". It doesn't matter. It doesn't define the type of person you are.
I know everyone has their own preferences and morality standpoints, but I frankly think less of someone when they're concerned over a subject such as this. It's just an amazing amount of insecurity. Why would you break up with someone you've been dating for a while (which indicates, beyond other things, a decent relationship) over something like this?
I've skimmed the thread, but as long as they're clean and having sex because they enjoy it (other issues aside) and are safe, what's the issue?
Yes, being irrational and emotional over a number that doesn't mean anything will save us from chaos.
I wouldn't judge women and differently than men in this case. For me, personally, I simply probably wouldn't be in a position where I'd go out with a girl that has had a lot of sexual partners since my type wouldn't really be the extroverted party girl. If I were in such a position, however, it certainly wouldn't be grounds to end a relationship. Whatever is in the past is in the past. It made them who they are today and who they are today is what matters.
Vermillion
Banned
I believe that what Ken Masters is saying is this - many men assume that the most attractive girl is getting propositioned left and right, and as such, stay away, aiming for a less attractive partner instead. In reality, the girl may not be approached as often at all, and as such has less sex, depending on her own initiative to get laid.
Now, that is what I *think* he's trying to say. I believe I saw this in one of our discussions about PUA or Dating Age or a video or something. I don't know.
Fornaximus
Member
The only thing that would bother me about a girl sleeping around a ton before marrying me is that it would be impossible to realistically expert her not to cheat on me. Goes the same way for guys. If you're smashing new meat every night/week all your adult life, you think that switch just turns off when you say your vows?
The girl who took my virginity slept around a lot. I used to think I loved her. Looking back, it would have been an absolute disaster to have been in a serious relationship with her. She would have cheated within a week, guaranteed. Some people just aren't meant to settle down with one partner.
The girl who took my virginity slept around a lot. I used to think I loved her. Looking back, it would have been an absolute disaster to have been in a serious relationship with her. She would have cheated within a week, guaranteed. Some people just aren't meant to settle down with one partner.
CornBurrito
Member
And morality isn't just "because I said so" or should not be. Why is having sex bad and immoral in your opinion?
Also lol at your listed 4. Arranged marriages were a thing dude, and required none of that. And arranged marriage is hardly "base instinct."
FrostuTheNinja
Member
"Me, me, me" shit. It's not about the other persons experience it's about theirs.
Ken Masters
Banned
The models and most sought after women have been with far far fewer men then guys think
If more guys realized this these women wouldn't be so unattainable to them
If more guys realized this these women wouldn't be so unattainable to them
CornBurrito
Member
If you gotta ask, it's too many.
So a woman having sex with the same guy 500 times doesn't lead to "hotdog in hallway" but sex one time each with 500 guys does? Explain when they both result in the same number of fuckings.
Proof?
blame space
Banned
it's probably easier for an average looking woman to have sex with someone than it is for an average looking man, right? is that what we're talking about here?
readLeader
Banned
If the study group was chosen representatively, then it stands to reason to assume their spouses were also somewhat representative. All that's needed there is to look at research into the reasons for divorce, where the top three reasons are (in descending order) infidelity, lack of communication and abuse.
What do the data on men have to do with what expectations with regard to the studied groups are reasonable?
Then your conclusion is, judging from the results of that study, wrong; I quoted the conclusions Paik came to, not what I made of it. Also, traumatic intercourse does not imply rape; rape would certainly be traumatic, but so can consensual intercourse that deviates in a massively negative way from what the girl/woman expected.
Devolution
Member
In all honesty looks don't count for as much as what situations you put yourself in. A sociable average looking person is getting laid and propositioned a lot more than a hot person who just stays at home. The amount someone gets laid is up to their own priorities really. Some dudes would see their luck turn around if they learned how to talk worth a shit.
Evolution_1ne
Banned
so liking sex makes you an ape now?
this is a major problem with our society today and a problem that need to be addressed
FrostuTheNinja
Member
Or they're hot and a bad lay.
blame space
Banned
it amazes me that people voluntarily go outside.
Alright, that's cool then, now do you think its valid to compare people who have a sexual history that involves [x] amount of partners with negative qualities like lacking class, being irresponsible, unfaithfulness....
Personally I don't think that's fair.
My original post was telling the poster that its perfectly alright to have preferences like "I like someone whose been with [x] amount of partners"...
But where I take issue is when people start describing the quality/state of being with a certain amount of partners is somehow a negative thing or that individual is being/doing something negative.
I don't agree with that at all.
If that's not your position, than we have no disagreement.
evilernLeGG
Member
So this whole thread is based on the inability of getting fucked? Great. Let's shame some women for our social issues.
Damn I can't get my point across. I mean modern sexuality is a 20th century invention. The way we use sex as a natural act and people have healthy sex lives and can safely has as much sex as they want.
Women today can safely have sex for pleasure without becoming pregnant and even if they do become pregnant, they have safe ways to terminate pregnancies. Sure there were brothels and prostitutes in the past, but sex for pleasure in a relationship is a modern invention.
And today we even use sexual chemistry as a defining factor for relationships. It's why so many relationships fail too. Hopefully I get what I mean across well.
Honestly, unless you have religious beliefs, or practice virginity/celibacy, the number shouldn't matter, nor should the partners.
Is a woman who has had two relationships in a year but had sex with those boyfriends let's say 362 times in a year, any different than a woman who had sex with 8 different guys, but only had sex 8 times that year?
It's a bit misogynistic to view a woman as "damaged goods" based on how many times or with how many partners she'd had sex.
Ken Masters
Banned
Experience, after I was told this from others
You'll also realize the most beautiful of women also can be the most shy girls you'll ever meet. They're used to being stared at endlessly but rarely talked to and approached directly
Try it next time you go out, thank me later
Devolution
Member
No it's not, it's built into us. The invention was shame and subjugation.
MrToughPants
Brian Burke punched my mom
Wouldn't want to slip into a vagina while I'm out there. Don't know how many dicks have been in there.
I can't wait for someone to make a chart with the number of lays on one axis and a rating out of ten on the other.
Anyways, I fully admit that feeling badly about the sexual partners of my boyfriend has everything to do with my own insecurities and shit and no bearing on his character. So I get that many people would find someone with more sexual partners than themselves intimidating, but it's kind of funny to see the mental gymnastics people make in order to make themselves feel better about it: oh, she's a girl so it's easier for her, oh she's a whore who's irresponsible, oh she must have a loose vagina.
Evolution_1ne
Banned
well said
blame space
Banned
i love how in these threads people try to be progressive but the same old shit applies. women are just waiting for a man to come and talk to them, to prove to her that he has worth. she's shy but she's just waiting for you to go talk to her, then she'll realize you're really great and definitely worth fucking. it's all so gross.
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