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[Fury451]

Do you want to complicate your life in such a way? What if things turn bitter and she demands child support?
What if you meet the love of your life and have to explain this child to her?

These are good questions, these are just some of the questions you should be asking yourself.

If she doesn't have time to go out on dates, she sure as shit doesn't have enough time to take care of a child.

Also this.

You are not her personal savior dude, if she wants a child bad enough she can get a donor or adopt, you're making yourself liable in this situation.

 

[ColdDeckEd]

Seems like you like this woman and she obviously thinks highly of you, so why don't you guys try an actual relationship first?

 

[Doogington]

 

[Kozak]

Yolo

Lol

Dont do it brah

Seems like you like this woman and she obviously thinks highly of you, so why don't you guys try an actual relationship first?

This is a lot more reasonable.

 

[brickarts295]

I mean at first it seems like okay, your are just helping out a friend so no big deal. But then what if you start getting attached to the child, how's that going to work.
Edit: Never mind I didn't read the whole thing.

 

[h1nch]

I never thought I would ever start a thread here much less about this subject but here it goes.

I'm 34 and she's 32. She dropped this bombshell on me like a few weeks ago and I rejected her at first but over time, I felt like what if she missed the opportunity in having a kid, because of me? So then I changed my mind weeks later and told her I would consider doing it. Anyway we're both college educated professionals, she's getting her masters so it's not like we're kids. I don't have any children and neither does she. She rarely dates because of how busy she is with school and work. I've also known her close to a decade now, since we both went to the same university.

What the fuck? Why would you ever come to this conclusion? You're not the last male on earth.

 

[acheron_xl]

Cause fuck adoption, right?

 

[Your Entertainer]

Holy shit, what kind of socially obtuse and gratingly niave person would even entertain this? Do what the first person said and do it, with protection, and don't associate with people as crazy as this

 

[echoshifting]

Do you want to complicate your life in such a way? What if things turn bitter and she demands child support?
What if you meet the love of your life and have to explain this child to her?

What if he meets the child and decides he's kinda crazy about it but shes met someone and doesn't want him involved anymore
What if she changes her mind and decides she can't do this without him and tearfully begs him to marry her, while she's eight months pregnant with his child

So many terrible options op

 

[bathsalts]

She also told me that I can be however much I want in the child's life.

Why the fuck would you ever consider this, tell her to goto the sperm bank.

Are you already fucking her on regular basis? why would you want to drop that kind of net
when your only going to catch a support payments, drama and a kid you may or may not want to raise and get no say either way.

 

[vypek]

Are we talking you have sex with her here, or she wants you to donate sperm? Either way I wouldnt't do it.

Why doesn't she use a sperm donor?

These.

Also, if she doesn't have time to date and is already so busy in her life, will she really have time to raise a child?

 

[exmachina64]

Sure, do it.

 

[SwiftDeath]

Politely decline. Sperm banks exist for a reason. Do not do this.

 

[Jason's Ultimatum]

Make sure you wrap it up TIGHT, op. You could possibly get her pregnant.

 

[brandonh83]

Why the fuck are you even considering this?

One time in college some really sketchy dude that found himself hanging out with my group a lot asked me to co-sign a student loan with him.

And this would be even dumber than that.

 

[Outtrigger888]

Is she gonna let you see the kid? And is she gonna come after you for child support? Why don't you two just be together if your gonna have a kid?

 

[Elandyll]

You guys seem to be talking about this like adopting a cat and sharing custody of it, between roomates. Or a car, maybe.

I think neither of you are in the right place, mentally or emotionally, for the kid you would bring into this world.

 

[parrotbeak]

Tell her you can't cuz global warning.

 

[gaugebozo]

So let's see, she doesn't have enough time for dating (kids take an insane amount of time), she is still in school (kids take an insane amount of money), and you're maybe on the hook for child support.

 

[aeolist]

if she's so busy she can't date then she doesn't have enough time for a kid

 

[lem0n]

Fuck it why not

 

[MrToughPants]

Fuck White Knight you will be the White King.

Do it for her OP.

 

[Mr. X]

Tell her that's a terrible pick up line

 

[DarkestHour]

You going to help her raise the kid? I could never fathom the thought of having a child and not being there to raise him/her.

 

[Rabbi_Vole]

Why are we assuming the gene pool is good. Are you both reasonably attractive?

 

[wenis]

This is about the dumbest thing ever. hormones make people do a whole lotta dumb shit. don't let this be one of them.

 

[shira]

I never thought I would ever start a thread here much less about this subject but here it goes.

I'm 34 and she's 32. She dropped this bombshell on me like a few weeks ago and I rejected her at first but over time, I felt like what if she missed the opportunity in having a kid, because of me? So then I changed my mind weeks later and told her I would consider doing it. Anyway we're both college educated professionals, she's getting her masters so it's not like we're kids. I don't have any children and neither does she. She rarely dates because of how busy she is with school and work. I've also known her close to a decade now, since we both went to the same university.

So like I said before, I originally rejected her but I changed my mind. I told her to give me until the summer, so we can think this over, to see where our lives are at that point of next year. That she needs to work on her stress from working and getting her masters, getting her career straightened out and to see how we feel about this in eight months or so. Then if we're still up for it, we can take a long vacation somewhere and do this. She also told me that I can be however much I want in the child's life.

I need your help, GAF. I feel like in my heart I want to do this for her and I really would love to be in the baby's life somehow but we don't even live in the same city either. I feel like I'm blind about the situation and would appreciate anything that opens my eyes to some things that I'm not getting right now. Thanks.

Do what most young couples do and keep a pet/plant as a "tester". See what it's like to care for something that is rather simple but requires time/money/attention

 

[Disxo]

Tell her to get a dog/cat

 

[Jerm411]

OP....insert this gif into your head and never let it leave....

 

[TheRed]

This is stupid. Think about it right after masturbating lol

 

[Zoe]

Re: child support

http://wthitv.com/2015/09/05/kansas...-after-state-forces-him-to-pay-child-support/

 

[K.Jack]

What the fuck? Don't do that!

 

[Speely]

I understand wanting to do this for your friend, but I would advise not doing it. The potential complications that could arise from this unconventional arrangement might be easy for the two of you to deal with, but maybe not so much for the child.

Two of my really good friends, a lesbian couple, asked me to do this for them a few years back. They wanted to have their child be born of love, and it was a really great honor for me since they chose me for that. I wanted to say yes because I love them both and have no plans to have children of my own. It was a pretty much perfect situation.

I said no because I knew how weird I might get about having a child that I was not the parent of, and how potentially unhealthy that could be for the child down the road (not because of the couple, but because of my own desire to be a father to a human I helped make.)

Additionally, my friends broke up a year later and don't even talk to each other now. So I was actually wise beyond my own meager intuition.

Having not been a parent before, you do not know how bringing a human into existence will affect you. I think that's something best found out with someone you want to be with.

 

[Lightning_Roller]

Let me think uhhhhhhhh....


No.

 

[Couleurs]

If you're cool with eventually having to give your friend a huge chunk of your income for the next 18 years, then go for it dude

 

[Maximo]

I can't believe this was asked haha I love GAF.

 

[Transistor]

This is literally the worst fucking idea ever

 

[Forearm Star]

Tell her to go to a sperm donor
Have sex with her anyway
Use protection
Profit??

 

[andthebeatgoeson]

Don't do it. Drama, with kids involved, is a terrible idea. I've seen a few people make bad decisions because they see kids like collectibles. Yeah, just because you're friends have them doesn't mean you should get one. They need a stable home with dedicated parents, not some flimsy desire.

This shit is hard and only accomplished because my wife and i have decided to put our all into them and our livelihoods.

That shit will fall apart with a 'friend'. The moment friends experience hard decisions, or expectations, it becomes a mess. I've seen family members jump into it and I've been propositioned with it years ago. 'Go half on a baby'. That's a human fucking being that will need counseling if you fuck it up because you just needed a pet or get over your feelings. Kids don't enhance things. They will transform the entire landscape and make you excise all bullshit and truly prioritize. Then you convince yourself they've enhanced something but it's closer to Stockholm syndrome than anything you are expecting.

 

[Brakke]

If she's too busy to date how is she not too busy to raise a damn kid for the rest of her life.

Daring takes like... a LOT less time than having a child?

 

[BigBeauford]

This should be fun when she turns around and asks for money the next 18 years.

 

[Noirulus]

You realize she can sue you for child support, right? And why can't she just go to a sperm bank?

 

[Keri]

You should only do it if you want a child too, because this can get complicated and those complications will only be worth it, if you want the child too. Also, I'm guessing you're considering this, not for your friend, but because you're thinking over whether or not you want a child. If that's the case, then you need to be upfront about how much involvement you want and whether or not its an option to move to the same city. Also, you can absolutely be held responsible for child support so, again, only do this if you really want to help raise a baby.

 

[SwiftDeath]

Re: child support

http://wthitv.com/2015/09/05/kansas...-after-state-forces-him-to-pay-child-support/

The state of kansas was trying to force a sperm donor [albeit outside a licensed sperm bank] to pay child support when they had written and verbal consent from the mother and her significant other that they didn't want it/weren't demanding it?

What am I reading?

 

[Ran rp]

what the fuck

 

[Sorcerer]

What are her reasons for simply wanting the child but not really a husband/father?
Is she in love with you but you not with with her?
Does she want your child regardless to have something of/from you?

 

[Dai101]

DON'T

FUCKING

DO IT

Go to a fertility clinic or something.

 

[Colin.]

Get a vasectomy.. Then take the vacation

Damn, beat me to it! But seriously OP, this is a huge no. There's nothing stopping her from going to a sperm bank if she really just wants a child. This could bite you in the ass in a big way later down the line. Child support, custody, etc.

 

[A Fish Aficionado]

tell her to get a cat.

 

[goldenpp72]

You must like child support payments.