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Anonymously post hilarious a/o awful PM's you've received

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Timedog

good credit (by proxy)
Post PM's you've received on GAF or online in general that you think are cool sounding. Please redact any names if it's someone on GAF and they sign their post or mention their name in the PM.

Please bold the title/re: field if there is one.

Hey why do i scare you?

Kinda curious..

I have been into knives for ten years..swords to a lesser degree as they are $$$. I have thing for tomahawks more so it terms of weapons.

Don't get me going on guns.

^^^member is now permed literally for being insane
 

Tntnnbltn

Member
I don't see this thread going far...


I did get this a while ago from a Junior Member however. I asked why it was directed at me, but never got a response...

How to post a press release on Neogaf?

Hi,

I've been a long time follower of Neogaf, although never much of a user until now. I was wondering how I would go about posting a press release statement for an upcoming beta.

The beta is for a new entertainment social network / news / media website. Movies, games, tech, mobile, etc.

I have a very detailed press statement along with teaser images of the websites features.
 

Freshmaker

I am Korean.
Youtube wins for me. (I'd censor my name, but I've linked to my Youtube channel before so meh.)

Insane racist rant follows. (What do you expect? It's from Youtube.) Be warned.

joeottoson .Korean, I'm Chinese. If you don't know English, please send this email to the one who can read it.
Korean:
Please send this massage to all your self-righteous friends so that they can regret their faults. This email is only for those never-regret Korean people and gives them a lesson, not for those who genuinely respect China and work hard for the rise of Korea rather than boringly defending their faults. I dont use dirty words like fuck and shit and hope that you wont use them equally when you reply. I welcome all you tough defiance.
Well, first I have seen your English and it sounds terrible. Ive just tried to reveal the true history and the problems you nationalists afraid of mentioning. Well since you revenged shamelessly, I have to refute and you male or female must listen:
1. The area of China is 9600000 square kilometers and the little Korea (99600 square kilometers) is even smaller than our Zhejiang Province (101800 square kilometers). Im examining your geology knowledge. Ha-ha! You guys just daily dream about that China is your mainland. All right, we accepted you poor guys. Also, we Chinese have the nuclear power while you are still protected by the American.
2. You may argue that little country can even make great accomplishments like Japan and England. Yeah I totally agree with you and respect Japanese and English for their creativities. However, for you Korean, even the economy of Hong Kong is better than that of Korea, not to mention Beijing, Shanghai, Tianjing, and Dalian. By the way, recently Korean economy is declining as a result of global economy crisis and I believe you may have deep feelings about that. You may have learned from the news that your president had just asked Chinese and Japanese for help to prevent the devaluation of WON. Hey you, if you really think that Korean people and economy is great, please stop your president and let go the economy. But Im afraid that you wont, and so does your president. You are all cowards.
3. Lets talk about the essence of the country. For people around the world, they relates Korea to the pickles, cosmetic surgery and and..and.........what? Hey I cant think much of it! How poor are you that you Korean impress the world with the only pickles and cosmetic surgery. Well, when foreigners talk about China they mention the Great Wall, Chinese food, Chinese tea, the Four Great Inventions, scenery, economy, Lenovo, thousands of years of history, Chinese calligraphy, Chinese Painting, Chinese poems, panda, the Chinese dragon, and the Beijing Olympic Games. Well, too many to tell and Im even tired of listing all of them. Want more? Well, Chinese athletes won 51 golden medals and total 100 medals in the Beijing Olympic Games while Korean got only 13 golden medals and total 31 ones. Cool?
4. And we can talk about the infamous copying of Korea.
The Dragon. Everyone in the world knows that there are mainly two types of dragon. One is the western dragon with huge wings. And the other one is Chinese dragon that likes like the snake with four paws. You Korean director made the miserable movie The Dragon War and copy our Chinese Dragon. Shame on you.
Three Kingdoms. You Korean guys, young and old, must have read much of the classic Chinese literature The History of the Three Kingdoms. Gradually, you guys advocate to the world that you wrote the book and even made the awful computer game of it. Do you agree? Thieves! Hey, have you saw the movie The Red Cliff recently? Thats a Chinese movie and we will tell you that all you painstakingly copying are worthless! Jealous? Well, please dont see the movie although other Korean rushed to see it.

You argue that panda is Korean.
You argue that Dr.Sun Yat-sens ancestor was Korean.
You argue that Yao Mings ancestor was Korean.
You argue that The Dragon Boat Festival is Korean.
You argue that
You are just in dream that all of the things are Korean, right? You will never make it, buddy.

Finally, I have to say that some of Korean people are the ugliest ones on earth! Consequently, those Korean pussies and bitches have to transform their faces and boot their breasts. Then all of their bodies and faces are fake! But it seems that you Korean fairly like them.OMG!

Go and tell your girlfriend, mother, or aunt if you like. And I assist you to do so. Maybe they had taken the surgery. Maybe the pretty bitch you make love with was an ugly village girl. Ha-ha!

And there are still lots of thing to tell IF YOU REALLY WANT THEM.

Followed by:

Hey, Uncle Tom!
Uncle Tom, who do you think you are? Your American humor is as terrible as your language. How haughty are you that you are living in a country with less than 250 years' of history.

If you are not a Korean, please fuck off and stop spamming me!
I'll not waste my time on you. If you dare help Korean to smear our reputation, you will pay for it. As the fxxking descendant of your English ancestor, please manage your terrible terrible American language and act as a civilized hypocrite.

To the best of my knowledge, I am not Korean.
 
I wrote this for you --

[redacted link]

Believe it or not, I do care --

-[redacted]

hmmm

Also if we're doing offsite stuff:

PKA6P.jpg


BEST EVER
 

Sofo

Member
A bit off-topic but my best one was when in TF2, a year ago if not more, someone started getting angry at me, saying I was stalking him. He started cursing and using the f-word, so he was swiftly kicked from the server. (As a Spy myself, he was a sucky Spy, so I kept sneaking up on him because he was obvious)
 

trinest

Member
I don't see this thread going far...


I did get this a while ago from a Junior Member however. I asked why it was directed at me, but never got a response...

I wonder if it was for WeGameThis or what ever it was called.

Shame it just disapeared (it was going under major re-development) and sort of stopped.
 

mikew3st

Member
Received this on youtube about 3 years ago regarding some reply I had made to someone's thread here on GAF.

He makes horrible threads
Big surprise it is of a course a horrible forum that think it's something else because third rate podcasts won't shut the fuck about . So horrible that they latch on to that shitty :awesome: emoticon that was instantly unfunny when it first showed up on SA in 2006, also not suprsing that you guys latch onto things from the past and refuse to let them go.
 

SpacLock

Member
I have like 200+ PMs, but none of them are really weird. Well, here's something:

What's worse?
The fact that I wanted to see it, or the fact that you were able to find it again so easily (almost as if you had it bookmarked)?

:p


Thanks bro.

To make it even weirder I won't tell you what it's regarding.
 

Emitan

Member
Oh wait! The time when I someone sent me an image called balls_in_my_mouth.png

It was a picture of them. With balls in their mouth
 

Vlodril

Member
The only funny pm i have received was on PSN. I was in HOME (shock) checking it the poker tables when they were added in. So i was playing and there was me and another guy left. We were pretty much folding until we got a good hand and after 5-7 hands i got a psn message ,from someone that was presumable watching, that said GO ALL IN!!!

I don't know why i still smile when i think about it.
 

BGBW

Maturity, bitches.
Logged into an old forum and could only find one bad PM.

hi. Whats up, friend? :D

ZOMG SHADDAFACKUP! YUO ARE AN ILLITERATE TENDO F@N! DONT GOEZ BACK ON GAMING FORUMS EVAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

That was probably a troll/joke. Kind of disappointed since I thought I received more hate. Guess they actually posted that on the forums. It was a terrible place, but very easy to wind others up. Only stuck around because there were a few cool people. I'm not even going to name the place since it would make most GAFfers puke on sight.
 

Antioch

Member
On a forum I used to post on someone called me a fanboy (I can't remember what the discussion was about) and when I responded by saying that I'm not one and own and enjoy all three current home consoles I got a pm where the guy apologized profusely saying he hoped he didn't offend me. That was sorta funny I guess.
 

N4Us

Member
okay who are you

OUT YOURSELF

I got that shortly after my GAF account got activated, I still have no idea what he meant at all.

Also one of the XBL messages I managed to screencap from way back when. I got these after beating the guy in MvC2

hater1.gif

hater2.gif
 
I posted at the bottom of the page once and quoted it for the next page cause I spent a bit of time and effort on it and didn't want it ignored. In hindsight probably a bit silly, but I didn't think it would have garnered such an angry response:

You know people read threads and by having your post as the last one on the page it doesn't mean it will be ignored. By quoting yourself and pushing it to the next page it just makes you look like you think your post is so important it deserves to be at the top of a page for some reason and I fucking hate when people do it. You're an utter cunt and I'm blocking you because of it.

Hopefully one day you'll be banned because of it.

Something tells me he needs anger management classes.
 
I got that shortly after my GAF account got activated, I still have no idea what he meant at all.

Also one of the XBL messages I managed to screencap from way back when. I got these after beating the guy in MvC2

hater1.gif

hater2.gif

Oh man i've got some amazing shit from playing MvC3.
Can't post any of it though or i'd get permabanned.
 

Busty

Banned
Had a lot of weird PMs on GAF over the years but the most recent that stuck in my head was just plain bizarre.

Rather than repost the whole thing I'll just sum up by saying that the poster in question was furious and said that I had accused him of being sexually attracted to ponies.

Seriously.
 

Irish

Member
The first PM I received:

Yes, that is a period for a subject line.

I made a witty retort which was followed by this:

After I changed it briefly to include the posters name I got this:

They just got better from there

I think I know who might have sent these. Did the name start with an 'A'?
 
Well, I did once receive a whole bunch of PM's detailing the end of the world coming in 2012, and all signs and events that will lead up to it. Shit was hilarious because the time table was somewhat detailed enough to immediately call the bullshit if it didn't happen. Examples...

"in 2011, organized religion will cease to exist"
"a solar storm will hit us on 25-26 november 2010 that will cause unprecedented natural disasters".


Off course, as it panned out, the PM'er was so delusional that even if the events didn't pan out, they somehow did pan out, and I was to blind or unwilling to accept it. I also loved how he sometimes wanted to keep me in the dark because it sounds more dramatic, even though his goal supposedly was convincing me the 2012 timetable is real. Examples...

NOVEMBER 7-11
I won't tell you what it is, but it'll change life on the planet the way 9/11 did, that doesn't mean it'll be a terrorist event, but it's something that changes the tone of life on earth permanently in a shocking way, and no, it's not aliens (yet).
Clues: Economic, Earth Changes, New War
I am pro-globalization, but I don't like the UN.
But can you tell me the reasons why I think so? I don't think so, if you knew, you'd probably not like the UN either.



Shit was hilaaarious!
Oh btw, I'm sure many can guess which (ex)-gaffer PM'ed me this valuable information.
 

Dead Man

Member
I think I know who might have sent these. Did the name start with an 'A'?
No, T and P.
Well, I did once receive a whole bunch of PM's detailing the end of the world coming in 2012, and all signs and events that will lead up to it. Shit was hilarious because the time table was somewhat detailed enough to immediately call the bullshit if it didn't happen. Examples...




Off course, as it panned out, the PM'er was so delusional that even if the events didn't pan out, they somehow did pan out, and I was to blind or unwilling to accept it. I also loved how he sometimes wanted to keep me in the dark because it sounds more dramatic, even though his goal supposedly was convincing me the 2012 timetable is real. Examples...





Shit was hilaaarious!
Oh btw, I'm sure many can guess which (ex)-gaffer PM'ed me this valuable information.
I think I know who you are talking about, but I can't remember their name. Crazy predictions of the future based on some computer or internet scanning or something.
 
I've gotten a few interesting ones, to be sure...religion-age and cyborg-age, mostly. But probably the most oddly flattering one was when I was off the board for awhile and someone sent me a PM asking where my "poofy bear butt" had been, and also slight grumbling that I had (briefly) replaced my animated avatar with a non-animated one.

It made up for my second or third pm I ever got here, title "your avatar." hey! Somebody likes my avatar...message body - "your avatar is spamming everyone with cookies, host it somewhere else dumbass" ;-[ Poofy bear tears were shed.
 

ReBurn

Gold Member
You guys are just bragging about your PM's. Or an I just jealous that I never get any? Or am I like that awkward kid who never gets PM's and self-loathes, but all it ever took was to send one first?
 

Kurtofan

Member
Well, I did once receive a whole bunch of PM's detailing the end of the world coming in 2012, and all signs and events that will lead up to it. Shit was hilarious because the time table was somewhat detailed enough to immediately call the bullshit if it didn't happen. Examples...




Off course, as it panned out, the PM'er was so delusional that even if the events didn't pan out, they somehow did pan out, and I was to blind or unwilling to accept it. I also loved how he sometimes wanted to keep me in the dark because it sounds more dramatic, even though his goal supposedly was convincing me the 2012 timetable is real. Examples...





Shit was hilaaarious!
Oh btw, I'm sure many can guess which (ex)-gaffer PM'ed me this valuable information.

Was it Wii?
 
Title: Half Blood Prince Trailer

Just wanted to thank you for posting that! Well done!

&

Greatness Gone said:
HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY GIRLFRIEND! Thanks for posting the AVATAR trailer thread. It was hi-larious.

The first one is funny because I have nfi why he was pming me.

The second is funny because of who wrote it.
 

Wimps

Member
Got this PM after I posted an album of Wugazi, Fugazi and Wu-Tang mashup mixtape basicly.


Thanks for that wutang remix link bro, i just want to snort some cocaine, drink some shit and smoke some shit to this shit, goddam this shit is great stuff

LIFE AS A SHORTY
 
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