Professor Beef
Banned
You certainly do look like someone I could hang out with. Dat coolness factor. :3Sai-kun said:
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Boy-Age: Because boys will be cute and silly
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Professor Beef
Banned
Probably because of your three-color hair.G-Fex said:I'll never forget the time I went up to a girl (first time I EVER went to talk to a girl in public) at the Barnes and Noble and tried to talk to her about the book section we were in. She just looked at me and called me creepy.
I'm creepy.
The Technomancer
card-carrying scientician
Man, I know what a hammer to the ego stuff like that can be.G-Fex said:I'll never forget the time I went up to a girl (first time I EVER went to talk to a girl in public) at the Barnes and Noble and tried to talk to her about the book section we were in. She just looked at me and called me creepy.
I'm creepy.
HeadlessRoland
Banned
Sometimes egos need to be hammered into non-creeper forms.
Professor Beef
Banned
Ugh, that's rough. Even imagining that was enough to not make me want to talk to the opposite sex most of the time when I was younger.G-Fex said:
computers putin'
Member
Professor Beef said:
I don't think I pick up these signs all that well either. last school semseter I asked some girl what page we left on in out literature class, and she said " I dunno" so I said with smile, " you're starting to tune out too, huh? " I wasn't trying to flirt or anything though. Then she grabbed my book like " here,i'll find the page for you", she found it and then gave it back. I didn't think nothing of it at the time, but now I'm thinking that was a sign of interest. So am I blowing this outta proportion and she was just being nice, or am I just dense and missed an oppurtunity?
G-Fex said:I'll never forget the time I went up to a girl (first time I EVER went to talk to a girl in public) at the Barnes and Noble and tried to talk to her about the book section we were in. She just looked at me and called me creepy.
I'm creepy.
Consider yourself lucky then. Why would you want to be with anyone that nasty? Even if she doesn't like you, she could have been more polite about it. She could just answer your question then excuse herself away from you. There was no reason for her to be rude.
Professor Beef
Banned
What a bitch.G-Fex said:
Jo Shishido's Cheeks
Member
G-Fex said:I'll never forget the time I went up to a girl (first time I EVER went to talk to a girl in public) at the Barnes and Noble and tried to talk to her about the book section we were in. She just looked at me and called me creepy.
I'm creepy.
Ugh this reminded me of something I'll never forget either.
When I was 11 years old there was a girl I liked and decided to ask out. She told me to meet her somewhere later where she'll give me her answer.
We meet up, she stares me coldly in the eye and says this:
"The answer is no. Do you know why I don't want to go out with you? It's because you are too ugly."
That was 15 years ago and I still remember it vividly haha.
I don't mind though, she ended up a shoplifting druggie who's been rode out by half the town and now nobody will touch her. I ended up a lot better off overall so 'I win' I guess.
Perhaps that time could've even helped me become who I am today (I got super confident in my teens) but yeah, it just won't leave my mind for whatever reason and perhaps never will.....
Jo Shishido's Cheeks said:
Cold-blooded. Reminds me of why I have confidence problems to this day. At around that age, our class was in the computer lab. I was sitting with a friend near this girl I had a crush on and her friend. The girl I had a crush on says to me out of nowhere, "You're ugly". :|
I seek advice Gaf.
I have been in a relationship for nearly three years now. It has been a very happy relationship, we have never argued and get on very well and enjoy each others company.
Though about a year and a half ago. All intimacy disappeared, I mean it all. We only kiss hello and goodbye and even that is a peck on the lips or cheek. We cuddle and hold hands and that's about it. We don't have sex or even passionately kiss any more.
I have asked him about it a number of times and he says he isn't interested in sex and he shouldn't be made to do something he doesn't want to do. But he is making me push any sexual needs I have aside and not to mention it any more.
Am I being selfish or out of order?
I have been in a relationship for nearly three years now. It has been a very happy relationship, we have never argued and get on very well and enjoy each others company.
Though about a year and a half ago. All intimacy disappeared, I mean it all. We only kiss hello and goodbye and even that is a peck on the lips or cheek. We cuddle and hold hands and that's about it. We don't have sex or even passionately kiss any more.
I have asked him about it a number of times and he says he isn't interested in sex and he shouldn't be made to do something he doesn't want to do. But he is making me push any sexual needs I have aside and not to mention it any more.
Am I being selfish or out of order?
runlikehell
Banned
You're not being selfish.
A relationship is not a relationship without intimacy. Have any of his normal habits changed? Has he changed as a person since he stopped being intimate with you? Did he even say why he wasn't interested in sex?
A relationship is not a relationship without intimacy. Have any of his normal habits changed? Has he changed as a person since he stopped being intimate with you? Did he even say why he wasn't interested in sex?
Not really nothing else about him has changed and no he didn't it just stopped it was only after about 3-4 months of nothing that I brought it up that's when he told me and he said he would try then another 6 months down the line still nothing, brought it up a second time to only get the same answer its now been well over a year probably nearly two I dunno, I miss that part of our relationship so much but he has pretty much made it clear that its gone but he says he still loves me but I thought he would still want me physically if he loved me
BlazingDarkness
Member
He found new cock?Wykesie said:Not really nothing else about him has changed and no he didn't it just stopped it was only after about 3-4 months of nothing that I brought it up that's when he told me and he said he would try then another 6 months down the line still nothing, brought it up a second time to only get the same answer its now been well over a year probably nearly two I dunno, I miss that part of our relationship so much but he has pretty much made it clear that its gone but he says he still loves me but I thought he would still want me physically if he loved me
Seriously though, that sucks for you
Wykesie said:Not really nothing else about him has changed and no he didn't it just stopped it was only after about 3-4 months of nothing that I brought it up that's when he told me and he said he would try then another 6 months down the line still nothing, brought it up a second time to only get the same answer its now been well over a year probably nearly two I dunno, I miss that part of our relationship so much but he has pretty much made it clear that its gone but he says he still loves me but I thought he would still want me physically if he loved me
That's so terrible. I'm sorry you have to experience that. I don't really know what else to say because I don't want you to hurt any more than you already are. I think you already know something is extremely wrong with the situation though.
SapientWolf
Trucker Sexologist
Sounds like a classic case of "he's just not that into you."Wykesie said:
I'm just don't know what to do. I am happy but at the same time I am not.
He said he knows its not normal for him to feel the way he does but has taken no steps to trying to solve it (going to the doctor or anything).
Its got to the point where i am afraid to initiate anything or even go in for a full kiss because I don't want to be turned down or even worse make him do something he doesn't want
I really don't know what to do...
He said he knows its not normal for him to feel the way he does but has taken no steps to trying to solve it (going to the doctor or anything).
Its got to the point where i am afraid to initiate anything or even go in for a full kiss because I don't want to be turned down or even worse make him do something he doesn't want
I really don't know what to do...
I think you know what you have to do. It will suck but probably not as much as not having any form of intimacy down the road.Wykesie said:I'm just don't know what to do. I am happy but at the same time I am not.
He said he knows its not normal for him to feel the way he does but has taken no steps to trying to solve it (going to the doctor or anything).
Its got to the point where i am afraid to initiate anything or even go in for a full kiss because I don't want to be turned down or even worse make him do something he doesn't want
I really don't know what to do...
SapientWolf
Trucker Sexologist
He's not attracted to you and he doesn't want to hurt your feelings. Or he's completely asexual but it's probably the former. Either way, bail out.Wykesie said:
Zaraki_Kenpachi
Member
Dunno, just because people say it doesn't mean it has to be true. People can be too afraid to say otherwise and so essentially lie instead of telling the truth. There also seems like very little give on his side of the relationship. I mean it's not like you're asking for over the top thing for him to concede a little bit on.Wykesie said:
Wykesie said:
Okay I don't want to hurt your feelings but I'll tell you what I think. There are basically a few options, in order of probability:
1) He is staying with you out of obligation/guilt/'til he finds something better, but is not interested in you sexually. While this is probably most likely it makes absolutely no sense to me; as a guy I know he would still want available sex. Unless he is getting it regularly somewhere else.
2) He has some kind of sexual medical condition that developed/discovered and is embarrassed about it now (ED, or something, dunno).
3) He got an STD from somewhere or found out he has one (or HIV) and doesn't want to have sex anymore because he doesn't want you to get it.
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4) He is asexual or truly not interested in sex.
Either way it isn't looking good. You may want to talk to him about all these options and tell him you are not happy and this arrangement will not work for you. Then based on his answer you must decide your next course of action, which if you don't find out anything new is basically stay and never have sex, or find someone else.
Thanks, yeah I think it is probably best to just talk to him again (though I don't want to seem like I am nagging him about it) and see where I go from there really. Like Zaraki says there is very little give on his side, if he truly does still love me and want to be with me he would be willing to make a compromise or at least go to a doctor about it.
Devolution
Member
Because I've been with my boyfriend for so long (7+ years) the only thing I worry about these days is keeping up the emotional intimacy, either one of us cheating physically doesn't even come into the equation.
I don't want the relationship to degrade into just "going through the motions" but we've been together so long, it's hard work to keep the relationship from becoming stale. We're not having problems or anything, but I've been wondering lately how people who have been together so long do it. Or if a lot of long term relationships are more about routine, which is just depressing.
I don't want the relationship to degrade into just "going through the motions" but we've been together so long, it's hard work to keep the relationship from becoming stale. We're not having problems or anything, but I've been wondering lately how people who have been together so long do it. Or if a lot of long term relationships are more about routine, which is just depressing.
ZephyrFate
Banned
Sleeping boys are the cutest thing ever.
also a bit of a bump: I miss this thread.
Devolution
Member
I actually have a question for the guys.
One of my friends has a "guy friend" right now who is sending all these signals that he's really into her but it's been months and he's made no move. She likes him a lot and would love to have him as a bf but long story short she's too chickenshit to ask him out and doesn't want to "lose" what they currently have.
Signs include when they're out making sure she's always around him, if she wants to wonder off and do something else, he insists that she stick around with him and his friends and do something else. Taking her out alone. And getting a bit pissy when other guys are doting on her.
I said she should get up the courage and ask him if he won't do it. I don't know what to tell her at this point.
One of my friends has a "guy friend" right now who is sending all these signals that he's really into her but it's been months and he's made no move. She likes him a lot and would love to have him as a bf but long story short she's too chickenshit to ask him out and doesn't want to "lose" what they currently have.
Signs include when they're out making sure she's always around him, if she wants to wonder off and do something else, he insists that she stick around with him and his friends and do something else. Taking her out alone. And getting a bit pissy when other guys are doting on her.
I said she should get up the courage and ask him if he won't do it. I don't know what to tell her at this point.
Professor Beef
Banned
Sounds like they're both too chickenshit to make that next move. If he really won't step up, then she could just talk to him alone and say "hey, I like you dammit and we should start doing something about it."Devolution said:
Although honestly, I have absolutely no idea why he hasn't done the same thing. Maybe he thinks he doesn't have to, due to all of the stuff you mentioned.
Professor Beef
Banned
See, I thought about that too. But the fact that he's always making sure she's around him whether or not they're alone makes me think that he's not really all that scared. Of course, he could just probably be stupid._Isaac said:
Either way, if he hasn't said something by now, then she's going to have to step up or do something else.
There's nothing wrong in asking a guy out if you like him. I've had girls who've admitted feelings for me and I just told them, "Sorry, that's not the way I see you. I value our friendship though." And, to this day, we're still good friends. No animosity, nothing.Devolution said:
ZephyrFate
Banned
Straight guys can friendzone girls?soultron said:
Color me shocked.
Devolution
Member
soultron said:
Yeah I think she's really afraid of rejection though.
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