Shamrock7r
Member
I would imagine that's how most felt after reading such a stupid article lol
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Cosmo: Guys Get Turned on When Women Orgasm...It's a Bad Thing (It'sTimetoStop.gif)
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Sunster
Member
at first I thought this was crazy writing but after reading through the thread lots of posters have seen a point of the article I did not on first read. Don't make the sex about you and your ability to give her an O or your inability to. Sex is not like donating to charity. be glad that she feels good, don't feel like you granted her the gift of an orgasm.
b&jy77VjiKn$#F
Member
im a virgin i cant relate to any of this
Chmpocalypse
Blizzard
That IS toxic. You might as well be fucking a realdoll if your partner's pleasure doesn't matter to you except because you "scored" by "being a real man".
Haha, thank you! 14 excellent, happy years together, and hopefully many more to come!
heh
Vermillion
Banned
Reminds me of all those conversations in college about whether or not true altruism existed.
Autoignition
Member
Yeah I'm not going to let Cosmo's masturbatory philosophies about feminist discourse get in the way of pursuing orgasm. Third Wave Feminism was a mistake. And I say this as a staunch feminist.
But then again, in my experience, a woman getting an orgasm from a man is the biggest lie anyone ever told anyway so. ayyyy
But then again, in my experience, a woman getting an orgasm from a man is the biggest lie anyone ever told anyway so. ayyyy
Chmpocalypse
Blizzard
I'm a guy who enjoys sex with women and I literally do not feel or think the way you've described.
This. Article's dumb damned if you do, damned if you don't purity-test bullshit.
Tinfoilhatsron
Banned
So in a roundabout way, making women orgasm is a bad thing? And being happy or feeling 'masculine' pride that you feel more connected to your partner is something you shouldn't do?
Shit, I guess puritans were the real liberals after all.
Shit, I guess puritans were the real liberals after all.
17 Seconds
Banned
yeah we got it, it's just very stupid
Chmpocalypse
Blizzard
You're a smart poster. I think you're better than this dismissive reply.
I hate "studies" like this. Reverse the genders and you'd get the exact same "finding".
Everyone wants to have their partner orgasm with them.
I'd argue it would actually be toxic masculinity if they found out the opposite. That men got off more when their partners didn't orgasm.
Everyone wants to have their partner orgasm with them.
I'd argue it would actually be toxic masculinity if they found out the opposite. That men got off more when their partners didn't orgasm.
How About No
Member
Orgasms for some, tiny crucifixes for others!
MWS Natural
Member
lol yeah right. I'm super liberal and for women's equality but this is dumb as fuck.
"Sorry men you can't feel proud about anything."
Enjoy it, but don't enjoy it like this cause that's bad, you have to enjoy it like [this].
So gaf, most of the time I finished first. Then I try to make my partner finish but 5/10 of the time she can't let it all out. I mean she's like having a hard time letting it go even when her body looks like its popping it out at that moment. She says she can't do it even if she wanted to lol.
Not sure what I'm doing wrong. It really does look like she's about to pop but can't do it.
Not sure what I'm doing wrong. It really does look like she's about to pop but can't do it.
SilentRacoon
Member
"Don't try and give pleasure to someone, if you are getting pleasure out of it too, why it all has to be about you."
Do I also have to close my eyes and pretend I'm not there during an orgasm Cosmo?
I like how this thread has these "duh guys you didnt read or get the article cause otherwise you'd obviously agree with [fucking outrageous and/or intentionally provokative and incredibly counter-productive statement]".
No. The article and it's study is incredibly silly and is ignoring and/or misunderstanding how the human brain works in all aspects. It also, purposfully or not, demonizes behaviour that is positive for everyone involved.
I believe this kind of opinion can only come from a person that is asexual or jealous of other humans (men and women) having and enjoying sex. Or just someone that wants to provoke for clicks.
Btw, bein asexual is totally fine. But trying to shame people having sex for enjoying it and working like humans do, is not fine.
Edit:
Some other stuff: When me and my wife has sex she normally cums three times in the timespan I cum once. Does this mean I'm awesome? Nope not at all. It's her thats awesome (and she cums by maturbating while we have intercourse). Do I get pleasure from her cumming? You bet I do!! (Im just a slow cumer and she's a fast one).
No. The article and it's study is incredibly silly and is ignoring and/or misunderstanding how the human brain works in all aspects. It also, purposfully or not, demonizes behaviour that is positive for everyone involved.
I believe this kind of opinion can only come from a person that is asexual or jealous of other humans (men and women) having and enjoying sex. Or just someone that wants to provoke for clicks.
Btw, bein asexual is totally fine. But trying to shame people having sex for enjoying it and working like humans do, is not fine.
Edit:
Some other stuff: When me and my wife has sex she normally cums three times in the timespan I cum once. Does this mean I'm awesome? Nope not at all. It's her thats awesome (and she cums by maturbating while we have intercourse). Do I get pleasure from her cumming? You bet I do!! (Im just a slow cumer and she's a fast one).
Chmpocalypse
Blizzard
You get it. Exactly. A woman's orgasm is not a present bestowed on her by a man "proving" he can "make" her cum.
tearsintherain
Member
sex would be a lot more interesting if you got power ups every time your partner orgasm'd
Alright, let~s be honest, how many in this thread have actually read the article? Because I was going "What? Idiots!" at first, too, since those awful anti-feminism men's-right-activist sites used it as the most recent example for "FEMINISM AND SEXISM IS FUCKING RIDICULOUS, AMIRIDE BOYS? Look at what they are going on with about now!". In general: If the MRA community is really mad because of an article or opinion, it's probably worth talking about 
But actually, that study is pretty interesting. Because it finds that most men don't actually want to see their sexual partners orgasm because they want them to feel the pleasure, but mainly because they want to feel accomplished and more "like a man". It's not about their partner, it's about themselves. It's a show of masculinity and it's ultimately about himself, turning the female orgasm into somethingthing having to be achieved and claimed by men.
How is that not worth talking about at all? Or rather: How is reporting on this so fucking awful and inexcusable? I'm of the opinion that pleasuring your partner has to be number one, the study makes a point of saying that most men actually care more about pleasuring their own ego.
Exactly. money quote from the article:
"The researchers draw a fairly frightening conclusion from the research findings. When women's orgasms begin to serve as a masculinity achievement for male partners, the orgasms cease to be about women's liberation or sexual pleasure. They just become another opportunity for men to flex, or "shore up their sense of masculinity." That can be problematic in multiple ways. Women can feel pressured to act like they came just to pleasure their sexual partner, making their own orgasm again about the man instead. It can change the dynamic in bed, because when the man should actually just shut the fuck up and listen to his partner to find out what exactly she likes and do just that, that can also infringe on his sense of masulinity and how he should be able to do it "on his own", without help from the woman, since, again, her orgasm is actually really just about himself.
But actually, that study is pretty interesting. Because it finds that most men don't actually want to see their sexual partners orgasm because they want them to feel the pleasure, but mainly because they want to feel accomplished and more "like a man". It's not about their partner, it's about themselves. It's a show of masculinity and it's ultimately about himself, turning the female orgasm into somethingthing having to be achieved and claimed by men.
How is that not worth talking about at all? Or rather: How is reporting on this so fucking awful and inexcusable? I'm of the opinion that pleasuring your partner has to be number one, the study makes a point of saying that most men actually care more about pleasuring their own ego.
Exactly. money quote from the article:
"The researchers draw a fairly frightening conclusion from the research findings. When women's orgasms begin to serve as a masculinity achievement for male partners, the orgasms cease to be about women's liberation or sexual pleasure. They just become another opportunity for men to flex, or "shore up their sense of masculinity." That can be problematic in multiple ways. Women can feel pressured to act like they came just to pleasure their sexual partner, making their own orgasm again about the man instead. It can change the dynamic in bed, because when the man should actually just shut the fuck up and listen to his partner to find out what exactly she likes and do just that, that can also infringe on his sense of masulinity and how he should be able to do it "on his own", without help from the woman, since, again, her orgasm is actually really just about himself.
Same. Cumming is nice and all but come on I've cummed so many times, its kind of samey. But seeing her cum (preferably from me going down on her) never gets old. Arousing, satisfying and I feel it makes me feel more masculine - I can make my partner feel good. Its also nice when she comes from masturbating when we have sex. Nice because I love when she feels good, and also nice because it also means she enjoys the sex we're having, just like I am.
You sure YOU read the article? Or did you just want to come in here and write stuff in all caps about how people in here hate feminism? Cause the article isn't good. See my first post in this thread.
Edit:
That part you qouted is such a perfect example of firstly misunderstanding how the human brain works, and also a case of picking apart something in a negative just for the sake of it; without even talking about any real implications that derives from the "problem".
excelsiorlef
Member
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Third-wave_feminism
You think all that... the past near 30 years of feminism was a mistake?
I mean as a trans woman... it's disheartening to hear someone say the wave that explicitly sought to include me was a mistake especially since the previous wave is made up of some of those who would love most to deny me my identity and womanhood
I mean hate this article all you want but to go to Third wave was a mistake is a little absurd
Chmpocalypse
Blizzard
Thank you.
You'd think your observations would be apparent on their face, but, well, we've seen this thread...
I can't stop laughing at this. Good stuff.
Can confirm. I made a girl orgasm without penetration the first time I had sex with her, I felt like a fucking GOD.
The average Gaffer can make their partner have several orgasms in a single session though so I think it's not a problem for them.
The average Gaffer can make their partner have several orgasms in a single session though so I think it's not a problem for them.
Not kidding, she was really embarrassed about it in a cute way and I was really surprised that it happened, sex with her was amazing every single time.
What.
You're really not as much of a feminist as you say you are if you're saying crap like this. Please don't be pretentious.
It's obvious that you, like so many other people in this thread, did not properly read or digest the actual point of the article. Pursue orgasms all you want to, but keep in mind that it should be about the fun of both partners involved, and not about accomplishment and feeding one's ego. I think that's an entirely reasonable thing to ask of folks, yeah?
Reptars Revenge
Member
No shitttttttttttttt. Doing the right thing for all the wrong reasons.
Seductivpancakes
Member
People need to stop trying to justify their arguments with " I disagree and I say this as a ____________"
NESpowerhouse
Perhaps he's wondering why someone would shoot a man before throwing him out of a plane.
FINE. if you wanna be that way, I'll just pull out early and nut on your back.
Autoignition
Member
It's actually super interesting for me to read this wikipedia article, because the only women I've ever encountered who self-identify as "Third Wave" also happen to be TERFs and white feminists who discount intersectionality.
The more you know, I guess! I take back what I said on that front.
I read it. I just think it's still incredibly stupid. I honestly don't give a shit if a man feels all macho over the fact that he made his woman climax. I don't care if it feeds his ego. At the end of the day, the woman climaxed, and typically the only way that that happens is if her partner is perceptive, receptive, and attentive to her needs. If a man's way to feeling masculine is through servicing women, is that really something that I should be frowning upon? Hell, I wish more men felt good about themselves by treating women right instead of the other way around.
Umm. Its not justifying. Its about explaining where you're coming from, so people know. Can be very important in some cases. For example if I talk about the hardships of being homosexual and gives accounts on how it can feel, it makes a huge difference if I myself am homosexual or not.
Basic stuff really, but I guess you just didnt agree with the poster but instead of arguing against the post itself you go meta and try to disqualify the post.
GrizzleBoy
Banned
I'd hate to live a life where I'm resenting the fact that my partner made me orgasm, because I'm not 100% sure about its "purity".
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