"He's a lucky guy" or something along those lines. After that you move on.
Not sure there's anything you can really do here.
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Dating-Age |OT3| Positivity, Confidence, and Not Being a "Nice" Guy
- Thread starter soultron
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"He's a lucky guy" or something along those lines. After that you move on.
Not sure there's anything you can really do here.
Atramental
Banned
Well the reason why I'm using those examples is because it seems like almost every girl (that I'm interested in) at my university already has a boyfriend.
Hell. Even the girls that I'm not interested in have boyfriends.
Hmmm... I don't know about that. Why would they bring up their most recent relationship if they're in the mood for sex? Then again, I've never broken up with anyone before so I wouldn't know what type of mental state I would be in.
What if instead they say, "I just came out of a bad relationship." ?
Okay, that sounds good.
I guess I could say, "Okay then, see you around." ?
I told this girl what I thought and she admitted that it would bother her too. But even if it didn't bother her, I still think it's immature and I agree that it's a little disrespectful. I just wasn't sure if I was being jealous and insecure about it.
Seems like GAf has spoken
Thank you, I will follow said advice. Now that I've thought about it some, like you say, she is probably fully aware of why she was deleted, so there's no need for me to tell her. The comment about doing it right stood out, so thanks man.Jamesfrom818
Banned
Gut check time. Look at yourself in the mirror. Look hard. Can you live with yourself if you fucked a girl with a boyfriend if all you're looking for is some ass for the night? If so, give her the most smug look on your face, move in a little closer and just say "So?"
Lets be real here. If a girl is willing to spread her legs for a guy she's just met, you're doing her boyfriend a favor by ending it sooner rather than letting him find out later that she's a skank.
Oh? So you're not looking for anything serious too, huh?
FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF
I rarely ask for advice. I've never been in this situation before. This is a first for me. I honestly have no idea what to do:
Alright. I work at a bank. Today, a really fine girl came in into today. All she needed was a simple deposit, nothing special. Now, I'm not the one to read to much into shit. However, as I said goodbye, she gave me a bashful stare and a slight giggle. Again, I didn't think much of it.
I remembered her name. I want to find out more about her and talk to her, but don't know how to go about it. Now, I don't want to do anything that would 1) make me a creep 2) invade her privacy or 3) get me in trouble and/or fired.
I probably should forget about it, but I hate to let would be good things, pass me by.
I rarely ask for advice. I've never been in this situation before. This is a first for me. I honestly have no idea what to do:
Alright. I work at a bank. Today, a really fine girl came in into today. All she needed was a simple deposit, nothing special. Now, I'm not the one to read to much into shit. However, as I said goodbye, she gave me a bashful stare and a slight giggle. Again, I didn't think much of it.
I remembered her name. I want to find out more about her and talk to her, but don't know how to go about it. Now, I don't want to do anything that would 1) make me a creep 2) invade her privacy or 3) get me in trouble and/or fired.
I probably should forget about it, but I hate to let would be good things, pass me by.
Hypereides
Member
Well even with the lack of details, I'd say your best option is to befriend her. Make her a lady friend. Some time down the line if she trusts you, she might introduce to some of her attractive single female friends.
I have a couple like that.
Or even better she may even be the gateway to a great social circle. Which will expand your possibilities.
And believe it or not your female friends are often the best wing(wo)men you get.
I would forget about it.
Dating a client is often a great setup for disaster...
But of course, if you really want to persue this girl I would say its best to be honest. Tell her what you think, something like she looks "interesting, cute and fun to hang out with, so you were thinking if you could get her number and you get together and meet some time" or similiar.
Ive done it a couple of times. It did not end well.
Atramental
Banned
Yeah I don't think this approach would work me. Plus, no girl in their right mind would cheat with me because I'm not that spectacular.
Hopefully when I've accumulated enough self confidence I can use this line.
Hypereides
Member
... you need to realise your real/true value and get some confidence. If you stick to that belief you'll get nowhere. We all possess something interesting and unique. Something attractive about us.
Everybody does.
Jamesfrom818
Banned
Generally, women look for alphas. Conceding defeat right away shows you aren't an alpha. Many girls will say that they have a boyfriend just to clear away the fodder. Remember, you have nothing to lose if you continue to press on after she says she has a boyfriend...unless her boyfriend is somewhere else in the bar getting drinks but that is why you scout ahead. Gotta have intel before you begin the mission.
"I have a boyfriend" in your mind should sound the same as "I painted my nails blue today". In other words, you shouldn't give a shit, and you shouldn't react to it at all. Completely ignore what she said and act as if she's single.
A lot of the time girls will just throw that out to test the guy. Since most guys will back down, it's an easy way for girls to weed out the men from the boys. The key is to be nonreactive - just act as if she told you she's single and keen.
In the worst case scenario, she gets a little annoyed and you simply move on to the next girl.
A lot of the time girls will just throw that out to test the guy. Since most guys will back down, it's an easy way for girls to weed out the men from the boys. The key is to be nonreactive - just act as if she told you she's single and keen.
In the worst case scenario, she gets a little annoyed and you simply move on to the next girl.
I personally wouldn't go the "he's a lucky guy" route, won't do anything for ya.
break the tension by saying something like "that's cool, he doesn't have to know!"
It's all in how you say it too.
too late, use the frustration for the next time that happens... If a similar scenario occurs later, especially if you're working and don't wanna get caught asking a girl out or for her number, write your number on a piece of paper that you'd hand to her, with a small comment like, "you're a cutie, txt me your number!"
edit: nm, I thought you wanted to be a creeper and look her up on facebook or something. If she happens to come to you again and seems friendly, I'd probably do the phone on piece of paper idea. It's a little scary since it's your work place though. So be sure she wouldn't be the type to report that kind of activity lol
This is great advice. People talk about getting "friendzoned" and shit like that, which does suck, but if you use it to your advantage, you could end up sleeping with all of friendzone girl's friends, which will make friendzoner jealous, which will take you out of the friendzone and into the fuckzone, and then you friendzone her so the friendzoner becomes the friendzonee. Or something like that.
Hypereides
Member
Check & mate.
- Issac Asimov (just watched an episode of Criminal Minds, but I felt the quote was pretty appropriate lol)
It really does work.
Im thankful that I have a sibling (my dear sister) which is a TREMENDOUS "wingman" for me. But she has also introduced me to some of her great, awesome, beautiful friends which have been able to sell me or help me to an attractive girl.
OJdaKiller
Member
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ThanksVision
Member
A girl and I ended. Only problem is, we have almost every class together. How do I make things not awkward?
Jamesfrom818
Banned
Frame her for cheating and get her expelled.
Atramental
Banned
Yeah... I could definitely use a social circle/friends because at this moment I have none of those things...
Even though I am 21 my physical appearance is that of a burnt out, bald 30 year old. That's why I don't see myself as someone who is worth cheating on.
And I know I should workout and try to get ripped but by the time that happens I'll already be out of college with absolutely no relationship/dating experience.
Yeah... I'm no where near that level of "alpha male-ness".
Despite having Satan as my avatar, I am a "nice" guy. Coming off as a guy that wants to fuck no matter what irks me to no end...
When I was watching those David X videos on YouTube I was blown away and somewhat appalled by how much shit he was able to get away with.
But I know that if I don't ditch the "nice guy" attitude I'll never get laid...
Also, speaking about never getting laid, I guess I shouldn't bring up the fact that I'm still a virgin to some girl, correct?
ThanksVision
Member
Alrighty I'll get right on that.
Given his post history I doubt Atramental is going to the bar looking for one night stands, just saying. If he was actually looking for a meaningful relationship I think he'd be better off being her friend or moving on and talking to her again if she is ever single.
Women can easily lie and say they have a boyfriend, I understand that much, but sometimes they *do* have one and aren't looking for anything more (and that's probably true of his likely college setting).
you don't have to sound alpha when you say something like that, it's about avoiding the issue of her having a "boyfriend." Jokingly mentioning, or showing you don't give a shit about the fact that she might have a boyfriend will get you farther than admitting defeat instantly.
And unless you're looking for a nice pat on the head, don't mention you're a virgin.
you don't seem/look as desperate. Girls are good at picking up on that kind of shit lol
Atramental
Banned
Yes...
Pollux
Member
You need to get out of thats state ASAP man, I've been thinking on this, get to a big city, maybe DC but ideally somewhere up north, Philly, Boston, NYC. Although I would suggest Philly or Boston. People are completely different and it's just a different environment. It might help you to go through a change of scenery as well.
Just a thought.
Sanky Panky
Banned
Lol you didn't learn from that cop thread? Don't use any info from work, but I used to work in a bank too, and I looked up a hot girl on facebook. By miracle, maybe she knows someone you know, and you could segway through that.
Good news is, is that people that actually walk into a bank to make a deposit are likely to come back. Just pray that she wasn't just driving by the area.
Girls can be attracted to your lifestyle, probably more so than the end results. Go to the gym and get your endorphines running (pun unintended). Change your attitude about it too. You're working out to better yourself, getting girls to notice you is a bonus. Even if you don't get results exercising on a regular schedule will certainly make you feel better and that will carry over to your everyday activity. Girls will notice that change in attitude and the positivity will certainly help you worry less on things you shouldn't be worrying about in the first place.
Jamesfrom818
Banned
In order to find out whether a door is locked or not, you have to twist the handle. Walking up to it is not enough.
Atramental
Banned
Yeah, once I get done with college I'll try moving to one of those places.
South Carolina is just... ugh.
Pollux
Member
I promise you, you would feel much more at home in a place like Boston vs. South Carolina. I thnk that type of change could make all the difference in the world.
Atramental
Banned
Okay then. I'll get my ass back to the gym ASAP. Anything to make me feel better about myself is worth doing.
Yeah, it would make a huge difference. Plus, living in a big city has always been a dream of mine.
SmackDaddy
Member
Hey guys, I lurked on this thread for awhile, and i think i was pretty pissed off at how everyone was just saying to fuck it and move on if things aren't going your way, especially when your semi-involved with someone you actually care about.
BUT BAIL OUT, and move on, and learn from it.
I'm getting on the better side of a super shitty breakup where this girl kept me in contact, and told me a few times that things weren't over between us. I was all for it, cuz i thought we made a good pair. In that time period (little longer then I'd like to admit), I feel like I started liking her more, and got all weirdly obsessed, couldn't stop thinking about her, and ignored all other chances with chicas around me.
Try not to let this happen to you, don't be that fool that got played. Because I did, and shit blows weiner. Find a girl that can't get enough of you, not one you have to beg for.
EDIT: or just don't get weirdly obsessed, and play it cool as hell
BUT BAIL OUT, and move on, and learn from it.
I'm getting on the better side of a super shitty breakup where this girl kept me in contact, and told me a few times that things weren't over between us. I was all for it, cuz i thought we made a good pair. In that time period (little longer then I'd like to admit), I feel like I started liking her more, and got all weirdly obsessed, couldn't stop thinking about her, and ignored all other chances with chicas around me.
Try not to let this happen to you, don't be that fool that got played. Because I did, and shit blows weiner. Find a girl that can't get enough of you, not one you have to beg for.
EDIT: or just don't get weirdly obsessed, and play it cool as hell
PXG, you have a GF already, correct? Why you trollin' for other women? Unless I'm totally confusing you for CWF, which I think I may be.
Well, she's right. You're not in the position (you're not her boyfriend or even seeing her) to argue because she doesn't have a reason she should be respecting you higher than "every man," like she said.
Kindly edit your post, please.
Thread Guidelines said:
There's no reason to come off as an insecure twit. Trying to "get back" at some woman means you've given her control over your emotions. Brush it off and move on like a man, not a child.
is this a friend that you've actually known for a while? Or is she just some girl you met?
if she's a friend you've known, you're outta luck on trying to date her.
if it's the latter and you just recently met her, fucking ignore her already. If she doesn't respect you enough to not call you a kid, bail out.
Don't call her a name in retaliation, that's childish. Seriously, just drop her stone cold. No explanation, no butthurt reasoning as to why.
Yikes... wait to see if she comes in again. I think any other option is total creeper material. Think cop/ticket/lawsuit story from a couple of weeks ago.
He asked if she should call her a nickname she wouldn't like. No one likes being called a cunt, except if you're Australian, where we call people cunts all the time in jest.
You're joking, and I understand this, but you're not offering him advice since that's the case. And it's not in the spirit of this thread.
I won't be here to backseat moderate all the time, so you don't have to be worried about that, but just know that I'll always call people on this kind of behaviour when I do see it. It's not a good look because negativity is not attractive. Even if it's only joking.
I'm soultron and I approve of this message.
Hypereides
Member
Jason Stratham. There's actually women out there that have a fetish for men like that. There are ALOT of women that love older looking men. Its a very large demographic of women that go after that type.
Try to adapt his personality and charisma.
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But let me tell you something about myself... I find this to be an interesting coincedence . 7 years ago, I was 21. Just like you. A nice guy. Never had any experience with women. At all. All this is true.
By luck I met this american guy on a japanese forum. He was often posting on a thread similiar to this one, suggesting advice to men about love/sex/women. I was fascinated by him. We started corresponding, by private messages.
He lived in Tokyo, Japan, which was very convenient at the time. For a long time I wanted to travel there, so I set up a trip, bought a flight ticket and arranged to meet up.
He agreed, but upfront informed me to read this 'player' manual before we met. Just simple rules and details on how to attract women. Additionally instructed me to reserve a hotel room.
In my imagination I pictured him as this incredibly, good-looking, model-like, well dressed, charming and charismatic persona.
Our rendevouz point was at Shimo-takizawa train station in the evening. It was intense and exciting. Meeting this incredible anonymous person, with set expectations.
I waited for about a quarter till he showed up... to my surprise... he was nothing like what I had imagined. Stocky, average looking. But friendly, polite and welcoming. He had a japanese girl under each arm. I was shocked to say the least. In fact hate to sound arrogant, but I would say I was the better looking of us.
He became my mentor. He introduced me to the world of seduction, sex and enlightend me. I was very insecure myself. I wasnt sure how I would do.
Tokyo became my training field.
During the month I was there. he taught me more than I couldve imagined. I haven't gained as much experience, in such a short time, compared to my previous efforts.
It was an amazing experience. Since then my confidence and experience has evolved. I owe alot to him.
True story. Based on my own personal experiences... very few people know this much about me actually.
Last time I twisted the handle I got slapped ...oh not literally. Whoops.
Atramental
Banned
Another question relating to my virginity:
If I do eventually have sex will it be fairly obvious to the girl that I'm a virgin when we're going at it? :|
I mean how hard could it be? (no pun intended...) It's just a simple back and forth motion.
If I do eventually have sex will it be fairly obvious to the girl that I'm a virgin when we're going at it? :|
I mean how hard could it be? (no pun intended...) It's just a simple back and forth motion.
I'm glad you could see I was joking, but I suppose part of my intention was for the poster not to take shit like that off girls. Calling any adult a "kid" is condescending, and to just cop it and not retort shows a lack self-respect and confidence I think.
Awesome Story.
funny enough, Tokyo was where I really "found myself" and the confidence I needed. Lived there for 1.5 years or so and it was great for me. No matter where you are, getting out of your comfort zone and taking ACTION on changing yourself is the key. I would go out, my only goal to have fun with friends, and I had a blast. I met lots of wonderful women.
Now, being back in America and new to LA, it's been a transition, but girls love my "adventuresome" spirit... I guess. Who knows, who cares, they like hearing about me living in Japan. All of them ask playfully how the ladies were there and if I was killing it. I shrug and say I had a great time with a lot of great people. While smirking.
funny enough, Tokyo was where I really "found myself" and the confidence I needed. Lived there for 1.5 years or so and it was great for me. No matter where you are, getting out of your comfort zone and taking ACTION on changing yourself is the key. I would go out, my only goal to have fun with friends, and I had a blast. I met lots of wonderful women.
Now, being back in America and new to LA, it's been a transition, but girls love my "adventuresome" spirit... I guess. Who knows, who cares, they like hearing about me living in Japan. All of them ask playfully how the ladies were there and if I was killing it. I shrug and say I had a great time with a lot of great people. While smirking.
Depends how old you are. Im 28 and a virgin. Im fucked and it will be detectable instantly. I imagine the younger you are the less likely girls will notice anything.
You just have that other problem of a girl not thinking you are any good and want to drop you, which then brings up the question do you admit the reason why you arent any good or do you not care? Basically it sounds like virgins arent looking at any real relationship potential until they've slept with a bunch of girls.
for sure lol... you're likely gonna cum pretty damn quickly. Not to mention probably fumble around trying to find where it goes. Hint, it's closer to the butthole than you think lol
who cares how awkward it'll be, try not thinking about it. It'll be even more awkward that way. Just relish in the fact that it's finally happening.
I was 20 when I lost mine. Girl had no clue and said I was awesome. I told her afterwards and she thought I was lying.
I know it sounds silly, but I'm glad I watched a lot of porn because it taught me a lot of positions. I think that helped me appear more experienced than I actually was.
Also, if you can, make sure you "safety" (jerk off before you see her) if you know you're going to be doing the deed. It'll make you last a lot longer. I think that's another one of the biggest giveaways to women; you not lasting a long time.
All that said, once you've gotten your first time out of the way, you'll be a pro! It's really not that big of a deal when you get it out of your system. You'll be building it up in your head, naturally, and that's OK. The awesome thing is that sex (for the most part) only gets better!
You guys put way too much pressure on yourselves. I understand, I've been there, but don't make it a bigger deal than it already is. If you build up losing your virginity into this unachievable thing, you'll be dissapointed. It's natural. I would be surprised, very surprised, if a girl dropped you because you suck at sex. Be open and honest, if the girl likes you, it won't matter if you're bad the first time. Just practice
Basically you're stopping yourself with that kind of attitude. Own your virginity. Make fun of yourself. When it happens, you'll be like, oh that was what all the fuss was about? Ok.
Oh and when you do do it for the first time, drink a couple beers or drinks. It helps.
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