Support NeoGAF

[SmackDaddy]

Another question relating to my virginity:
If I do eventually have sex will it be fairly obvious to the girl that I'm a virgin when we're going at it? :|

I mean how hard could it be? (no pun intended...) It's just a simple back and forth motion.

Meh, I guess it is a back and forth motion. I feel like the sign of experience would come with what else you're doing. How you move from making out, to foreplay, to playing hide the sausage is a big one. TRANSITIONS! Don't rush into each one. also what else you're doing while back-and-forthing is important. lips, nips, and neck son. ... is this too much

 

[Centurion]

Also, if you can, make sure you "safety" (jerk off before you see her) if you know you're going to be doing the deed. It'll make you last a lot longer. I think that's another one of the biggest giveaways to women; you not lasting a long time.

fuck that noise, why go in with a semi hard on. Fuck her, cum quickly, and go again.

if you want an excuse, say it's been a few months and that she's tight.

 

[Buckethead]

Another question relating to my virginity:
If I do eventually have sex will it be fairly obvious to the girl that I'm a virgin when we're going at it? :|

Depends.

If you're awkward and display no confidence, chances are you're going to suck at it.
Confidence is pretty important with women in general. I don't just mean charisma, talking to women, etc. - you need to dress well and all the other things that go with that.
Then that confidence translates dating women and into the bedroom.

Also be in a relationship. She'll be more forgiving of whatever.

 

[Onemic]

It's me again, don't know why I'm posting this, but I'm gonna do it any way. So I got a BBM from a gril I knew in highschool, but haven't talked since(I'm in 4th year, so its literally been 4 years since we've seen each other) She has BBM'd me before this specific convo a few months before, but the fact still remains that we haven't seen each other in 4 years and haven't talked in almost as much time. Of course you guys are welcome to totally destroy my messaging style:

Girl: Hey
Girl: Do u smoke weed?
Me: ?
Me: Well thats....randy haha
Girl: Lol do u?
Me: Weed is an evil that must be purged from society
Me: ...Ja
Girl: Hahaha
Me: Why do you wanna know?
Girl: Just asked
Me: Mhmmmm
Me: Are you cross examining me? Haha
Girl: Ya I am
Girl: I'm working undercover
Girl: So wanna noe who does n who doesnt
Girl:
Me: Uh oh are you gonna arrest me too?
Me: But i think the real question is, do you?
Girl: Yes I do
Me: Sweet more green to go around
Me: I have to smoke one with you now
Me: Bout to head out though, catch up with you later
Girl: Kk I have u wanna now?
Girl: Kk
Me: Busy now, free on friday though
Me: Just hit me up
Girl: Ya sure



So what the hell is this supposed to mean? Totally out of the blue and random. Should I try to initiate a meetup on Friday or should I just do nothing and see if she tries initiate something on Friday?

 

[soultron]

You guys put way too much pressure on yourselves. I understand, I've been there, but don't make it a bigger deal than it already is. If you build up losing your virginity into this unachievable thing, you'll be dissapointed. It's natural. I would be surprised, very surprised, if a girl dropped you because you suck at sex. Be open and honest, if the girl likes you, it won't matter if you're bad the first time. Just practice

Basically you're stopping yourself with that kind of attitude. Own your virginity. Make fun of yourself. When it happens, you'll be like, oh that was what all the fuss was about? Ok.

Oh and when you do do it for the first time, drink a couple beers or drinks. It helps.

This, very much so.

I wouldn't even bother telling girls you're a virgin. Tell them afterwards. They might not even know!

 

[Furio53]

fuck that noise, why go in with a semi hard on. Fuck her, cum quickly, and go again.

if you want an excuse, say it's been a few months and that she's tight.

Yeah I've never been a fan of the safety jerk. One time I didn't masturbate for about 2 weeks before I was meeting up with this girl. I told her I was doing it on purpose, and she was SUPER into it, trying to make me cum as fast as she could.

 

[~Kinggi~]

You guys put way too much pressure on yourselves. I understand, I've been there, but don't make it a bigger deal than it already is. If you build up losing your virginity into this unachievable thing, you'll be dissapointed. It's natural. I would be surprised, very surprised, if a girl dropped you because you suck at sex. Be open and honest, if the girl likes you, it won't matter if you're bad the first time. Just practice

Basically you're stopping yourself with that kind of attitude. Own your virginity. Make fun of yourself. When it happens, you'll be like, oh that was what all the fuss was about? Ok.

Oh and when you do do it for the first time, drink a couple beers or drinks. It helps.

My problems don't really come from any amount of logic or advice being ignored. I get serious social anxiety and physical nausea and nervousness making me miserable whenever I do something outside the scope of my normal workings. Everything has to be planned perfectly for me. I imagine that's the common problem most have after a certain point. If i ever lost my job and started to go broke i'd probably have a mental breakdown and shoot myself. Im gonna need external help to get me in a position where i can be comfortable.

Its like a disease, man.

 

[Hypereides]

That's actually an awesome story. I find it funny because it comes off as very PUA, but I can't hate on that, not at all.

I find it cool. Especially since you wanted to improve yourself and you went out there and got it done.

Haha, actually it was. Most of what I learned was PUA stuff... because it was PUA knowledge.

To a degree I regret it, but since then I have become vastly more natural in my approach to women. These days I admittedly find it fun, thrilling and exciting.

But I have to say I exposed too much of myself here...

All in all, Im only here to help people in need.

...and myself whenever I can.

 

[soultron]

So what the hell is this supposed to mean? Totally out of the blue and random. Should I try to initiate a meetup on Friday or should I just do nothing and see if she tries initiate something on Friday?

She got into smoking and she think you're at least tolerable to smoke with. See what happens.

See what she's doing on Friday. Don't start smoking her out on the regular though. You don't want this girl using you for your weed. I think it's interesting (and a good sign) that she offered to smoke you out, on that note.

 

[Centurion]

It's me again, don't know why I'm posting this, but I'm gonna do it any way. So I got a BBM from a gril I knew in highschool, but haven't talked since(I'm in 4th year, so its literally been 4 years since we've seen each other) She has BBM'd me before this specific convo a few months before, but the fact still remains that we haven't seen each other in 4 years and haven't talked in almost as much time. Of course you guys are welcome to totally destroy my messaging style:

*long chat*



So what the hell is this supposed to mean? Totally out of the blue and random. Should I try to initiate a meetup on Friday or should I just do nothing and see if she tries initiate something on Friday?

you'd be an idiot not to.

 

[soultron]

Yeah I've never been a fan of the safety jerk. One time I didn't masturbate for about 2 weeks before I was meeting up with this girl. I told her I was doing it on purpose, and she was SUPER into it, trying to make me cum as fast as she could.

I agree with you. However, removing a mental obstacle ("OH GOD, I DIDN'T LAST LONG ENOUGH!") is an important note in this situation, I think.

I worried about that, I know that much.

 

[Furio53]

She got into smoking and she think you're at least tolerable to smoke with. See what happens.

See what she's doing on Friday. Don't start smoking her out on the regular though. You don't want this girl using you for your weed. I think it's interesting (and a good sign) that she offered to smoke you out, on that note.

Soultron, when I read these girl age threads I feel like we are brothers from another mother.

That aside, yeah, don't smoke her out on the regular. Feel the situation out, if she seems sketchy then just say peace. If she seems chill and just likes to smoke, and keeps it even keel, then why the hell not.

 

[Furio53]

I agree with you. However, removing a mental obstacle ("OH GOD, I DIDN'T LAST LONG ENOUGH!") is an important note in this situation, I think.

I worried about that, I know that much.

Yeah thats true... I guess that kind of stuff is for later
Hell, nerves are crazy on the first time, I didn't lose it til later either, and well... my first time was a failure... second time worked better haha

 

[Bryan1321]

Hi Guys i need some advice about a situtation that has been annoying me

As backgroundinfo: I readed the OT2 somewhat about six months ago and last December was the first time i went i straight to a girl and asked her number (wich she gave me but didn end well..) anyway im still trying but i have one problem.


Maybe its from being raised as christian or maybe the poor sexual education my parents gave me.

But everytime i Fap i hit rockbottom everything im doing good goes down to the hole problems just appear. and maybe its because of the culture imposed to me that masturbation its a bad thing but i feel terrible everytime i do it and just got kinda drepressed. Always i try to not doing it but after a month or so without doing it i just fall again .

I dont know if this is a normal problem but it certainly its stoping me...


Also 20 years old. i been in a couple of dates (2 dates...)


Im trying to do all the good advices you are giving and many of them are working (confidence... no mr nice guy... etc)


But once i fap ... all falls



Thanks for listening/not making fun of me

 

[TheBear]

It's me again, don't know why I'm posting this, but I'm gonna do it any way. So I got a BBM from a gril I knew in highschool, but haven't talked since(I'm in 4th year, so its literally been 4 years since we've seen each other) She has BBM'd me before this specific convo a few months before, but the fact still remains that we haven't seen each other in 4 years and haven't talked in almost as much time. Of course you guys are welcome to totally destroy my messaging style:

Girl: Hey
Girl: Do u smoke weed?
Me: ?
Me: Well thats....randy haha
Girl: Lol do u?
Me: Weed is an evil that must be purged from society
Me: ...Ja
Girl: Hahaha
Me: Why do you wanna know?
Girl: Just asked
Me: Mhmmmm
Me: Are you cross examining me? Haha
Girl: Ya I am
Girl: I'm working undercover
Girl: So wanna noe who does n who doesnt
Girl:
Me: Uh oh are you gonna arrest me too?
Me: But i think the real question is, do you?
Girl: Yes I do
Me: Sweet more green to go around
Me: I have to smoke one with you now
Me: Bout to head out though, catch up with you later
Girl: Kk I have u wanna now?
Girl: Kk
Me: Busy now, free on friday though
Me: Just hit me up
Girl: Ya sure



So what the hell is this supposed to mean? Totally out of the blue and random. Should I try to initiate a meetup on Friday or should I just do nothing and see if she tries initiate something on Friday?

I don't know what a "BBM" is, but the obvious answer here is INITIATE!

 

[TheBear]

But once i fap ... all falls



Thanks for listening/not making fun of me

Embrace the fap man. It really isn't something to feel bad about. It's not a reflection on who you are as a person or even as a Christian at all. I'm Catholic and I beat it like it owes me money.

 

[Hypereides]

It's me again, don't know why I'm posting this, but I'm gonna do it any way. So I got a BBM from a gril I knew in highschool, but haven't talked since(I'm in 4th year, so its literally been 4 years since we've seen each other) She has BBM'd me before this specific convo a few months before, but the fact still remains that we haven't seen each other in 4 years and haven't talked in almost as much time. Of course you guys are welcome to totally destroy my messaging style:

Girl: Hey
Girl: Do u smoke weed?
Me: ?
Me: Well thats....randy haha
Girl: Lol do u?
Me: Weed is an evil that must be purged from society
Me: ...Ja
Girl: Hahaha
Me: Why do you wanna know?
Girl: Just asked
Me: Mhmmmm
Me: Are you cross examining me? Haha
Girl: Ya I am
Girl: I'm working undercover
Girl: So wanna noe who does n who doesnt
Girl:
Me: Uh oh are you gonna arrest me too?
Me: But i think the real question is, do you?
Girl: Yes I do
Me: Sweet more green to go around
Me: I have to smoke one with you now
Me: Bout to head out though, catch up with you later
Girl: Kk I have u wanna now?
Girl: Kk
Me: Busy now, free on friday though
Me: Just hit me up
Girl: Ya sure



So what the hell is this supposed to mean? Totally out of the blue and random. Should I try to initiate a meetup on Friday or should I just do nothing and see if she tries initiate something on Friday?

Just smoke a blunt with her goddamit.

 

[Centurion]

Hi Guys i need some advice about a situtation that has been annoying me

As backgroundinfo: I readed the OT2 somewhat about six months ago and last December was the first time i went i straight to a girl and asked her number (wich she gave me but didn end well..) anyway im still trying but i have one problem.


Maybe its from being raised as christian or maybe the poor sexual education my parents gave me.

But everytime i Fap i hit rockbottom everything im doing good goes down to the hole problems just appear. and maybe its because of the culture imposed to me that masturbation its a bad thing but i feel terrible everytime i do it and just got kinda drepressed. Always i try to not doing it but after a month or so without doing it i just fall again .

I dont know if this is a normal problem but it certainly its stoping me...


Also 20 years old. i been in a couple of dates (2 dates...)


Im trying to do all the good advices you are giving and many of them are working (confidence... no mr nice guy... etc)


But once i fap ... all falls



Thanks for listening/not making fun of me

It's normal, lol

Louis CK on the subject, go 1:15 in if you wanna skip

you'll get used to it!

 

[soultron]

Soultron, when I read these girl age threads I feel like we are brothers from another mother.

That aside, yeah, don't smoke her out on the regular. Feel the situation out, if she seems sketchy then just say peace. If she seems chill and just likes to smoke, and keeps it even keel, then why the hell not.

/daps

Yeah, if she's fun to smoke with and nothing happens, at least you have someone to chill with. Female friends are always great, especially if they introduce you to other friends of theirs. Doesn't matter if these friends are guys or girls, it gets you out there and gives you more people to hang with. Some of the girls you meet through female friends might be potential dates down the line too.

 

[Hypereides]

Soultron, when I read these girl age threads I feel like we are brothers from another mother.

That aside, yeah, don't smoke her out on the regular. Feel the situation out, if she seems sketchy then just say peace. If she seems chill and just likes to smoke, and keeps it even keel, then why the hell not.

I would say smoking some weed with a girl is something intimate. Shes obviously very direct and setting him up to be together.

...unless she is inviting him with some friends. Thats the most crucial detail I lack to determine a definite conclusion on this case.

 

[MutantCyborg]

I don't know if you remember my situation from the last thread so ill try and sum it up. Me and my ex broke up early last week. Her reasoning was that she just doesn't feel ready to be in a relationship right now and she felt like she lost feelings for me. I was hurt because this was the only girl I have actually had feelings for, it was pretty hard for me. In the previous thread I said that I felt pretty good about it after talking to you guys and some IRL friends about the whole situation and to be honest, I did. I tried following all the advice as best I could that was given to me such as: limiting the time I have to think about the situation, meeting other girls, and overall keeping busy with friends.

We ended up talking about it after a few days and I felt a little better about the situation. The thing that is messing with my mind now is her friends(that I know at least) seemed to abandon her, I have been told that she has gone back to the way she was before she met me. She now stays at her dorm not doing anything for days at a time. I feel like there is more to the break-up than what was stated during our talk. I avoided "her table" for a day or so until I realized that she no longer came. Her friends then kind of "forced" me to sit with them now(they ask me daily). She no longer goes to lunch as she used to do daily and socialize with her friends. She has completely reverted.

That being said, I know that she loves to dance. Our school has a dance club that organizes a dance night every few months. Neither she nor I are a part of this dance club, but I know a few people in it. I feel like asking her to go with me. The problem is that this doesn't take place until Late February or Very Early March (I honestly can't remember which).

I started off this year stating that I would become a better person in any way I possibly could, and to try my best to live without regrets. I thought this is a pretty normal New-Years resolution, and I've been sticking to it as best as I can. I don't know how to explain this feeling I have, but I feel like I need to do something. I don't know if I want to be talked out of doing this, or if I even should be talked out of doing this.

I know this is not the best idea given my situation but I feel like I need to do it. If I don't I feel like I will regret it for a long time. If she declines, nothing lost; if she accepts I have everything to gain. Anyway, thanks for listening to my blabbering. Any advice you have would be helpful.

 

[Onemic]

/daps

Yeah, if she's fun to smoke with and nothing happens, at least you have someone to chill with. Female friends are always great, especially if they introduce you to other friends of theirs. Doesn't matter if these friends are guys or girls, it gets you out there and gives you more people to hang with. Some of the girls you meet through female friends might be potential dates down the line too.

I hope so, I'll keep you guys posted come friday.

I would say smoking some weed with a girl is something intimate. Shes obviously very direct and setting him up to be together.

...unless she is inviting him with some friends. Thats the most crucial detail I lack to determine a definite conclusion on this case.

Have no idea about this bit of info really....Could be only her, could be other people

 

[soultron]

MutantCyborg,

She was the one who initiated the break up by saying she wasn't into it anymore. If anyone is going to re-initiate things, it has to be her. You asking her isn't going to magically make her feel like it's working again -- you were there for her the entire time.

Don't feel like you need to save her. I know you care about her, but if you truly do, respect the fact that she's (on her way to becoming) a grown-ass woman that can take care of herself.

 

[Hypereides]

I was 20 when I lost mine. Girl had no clue and said I was awesome. I told her afterwards and she thought I was lying.

I know it sounds silly, but I'm glad I watched a lot of porn because it taught me a lot of positions. I think that helped me appear more experienced than I actually was.

Also, if you can, make sure you "safety" (jerk off before you see her) if you know you're going to be doing the deed. It'll make you last a lot longer. I think that's another one of the biggest giveaways to women; you not lasting a long time.

All that said, once you've gotten your first time out of the way, you'll be a pro! It's really not that big of a deal when you get it out of your system. You'll be building it up in your head, naturally, and that's OK. The awesome thing is that sex (for the most part) only gets better!

I saw this funny 'hipster' inspired kama-sutra book recently. I thought about getting it. Maybe I should. Thanks for remininding me through this post though.

 

[Sanky Panky]

That being said, I know that she loves to dance. Our school has a dance club that organizes a dance night every few months. Neither she nor I are a part of this dance club, but I know a few people in it. I feel like asking her to go with me. The problem is that this doesn't take place until Late February or Very Early March (I honestly can't remember which).

...

I know this is not the best idea given my situation but I feel like I need to do it. If I don't I feel like I will regret it for a long time. If she declines, nothing lost; if she accepts I have everything to gain. Anyway, thanks for listening to my blabbering. Any advice you have would be helpful.

What exactly are you trying to achieve here? Do you think you'll win her back? do you feel bad for her?

 

[MikeHaggar]

Haha, actually it was. Most of what I learned was PUA stuff... because it was PUA knowledge.

To a degree I regret it, but since then I have become vastly more natural in my approach to women. These days I admittedly find it fun, thrilling and exciting.

But I have to say I exposed too much of myself here...

All in all, Im only here to help people in need.

...and myself whenever I can.

regarding the PUA stuff... this my advice to everyone in this thread looking for it. stay away from most of this stuff. you'll turn into a total douche. i've spent a considerable amount of time around the guys who you pay to teach you how to pick-up women in person and they were not cool. at all.

if you want to do well with women just be confident. make sure that you are well-groomed and dressed decently. learn to engage people in interesting conversation and to make them laugh. most importantly (again), be confident (but not in a cocky, douche bag kind of way).

that's it. it's easy if you don't over-think it. oh, and be a nice guy. always be a nice guy. just don't be a doormat and always stand up for yourself.

 

[Hypereides]

Have no idea about this bit of info really....Could be only her, could be other people

Well she has obviously developed an interest in you. If shes set a meeting some time in the late evening, I'd say theres a good chance. If she has invited some friends beside you, I would imagine she wants you to demonstrate some social acknowledgement and acceptance.

Take notice of her body language, what signals shes giving you.

If you both are alone ask her to put on some music while you smoke. Compliment her on it. 

Also, if you end up together alone theres a good excuse to makeout and more so since you'll both obviously will be stoned.

It should be natural from here on.

regarding the PUA stuff... this my advice to everyone in this thread looking for it. stay away from most of this stuff. you'll turn into a total douche. i've spent a considerable amount of time around the guys who you pay to teach you how to pick-up women in person and they were not cool. at all.

if you want to do well with women just be confident. make sure that you are well-groomed and dressed decently. learn to engage people in interesting conversation and to make them laugh. most importantly (again), be confident (but not in a cocky, douche bag kind of way).

that's it. it's easy if you don't over-think it. oh, and be a nice guy. always be a nice guy. just don't be a doormat and always stand up for yourself.

Amen preacher.

This is also why I mentioned regretting it to a degree. Theres a thin line between being a douche and attracting women.

I havent read/touched any of that stuff for more than 4 years.

PUA material simply boils down to this:

F(Find)
M(Meet)
A(Attract)
C(Close)

Thats it. Seriously essencially theres nothing more you can learn from it.

 

[Domino Theory]

This is a noob question, but keep in mind it's coming from someone who's still a virgin at age 22 and has never been on a date:

Do you ask a woman out on a date (getting coffee, lunch, etc.) after you meet her/exchange words for the FIRST time? If so, doesn't that mean you're simply wanting a date with her purely based off of her looks?

 

[Sanky Panky]

This is a noob question, but keep in mind it's coming from someone who's still a virgin at age 22 and has never been on a date:

Do you ask a woman out on a date (getting coffee, lunch, etc.) after you meet her/exchange words for the FIRST time? If so, doesn't that mean you're simply wanting a date with her purely based off of her looks?

Depends on the situation, but mostly yes. Women know that the first thing you notice is her looks, so this is perfectly fine. The point of the date is to get to know her.

 

[Kalnos]

Do you ask a woman out on a date (getting coffee, lunch, etc.) after you meet her/exchange words for the FIRST time? If so, doesn't that mean you're simply wanting a date with her purely based off of her looks?

Looks are pretty important, the date and time after is when you actually get to know them.

 

[MikeHaggar]

Amen preacher.

This is also why I mentioned regretting it to a degree. Theres a thin line between being a douche and atractting women.

I havent read/touched any of that stuff for more than 4 years.

just to be clear, my comments weren't directed at you in particular. i was just throwing that out there. my whole experience with these guys just really left a bad taste in my mouth. this thread provided the opportunity to share some (imo) good advice on the subject with people looking for advice.

 

[MutantCyborg]

She was the one who initiated the break up by saying she wasn't into it anymore. If anyone is going to re-initiate things, it has to be her. You asking her isn't going to magically make her feel like it's working again -- you were there for her the entire time.

I see where you are coming from. The thing is I don't know if my intentions are to "magically make her feel something again." or if I'm still in that "I really don't understand what is going on fully" mode (the talk we had helped me realize it was over more than anything). I don't really know how to explain it without you knowing how we were before this happened. We were pretty close, she never showed any signs of a break-up coming along until the day she did it. Looking back on it now maybe I'm still confused more than anything.

As I said, I know it is a bad idea and I apologize in advanced for not fully listening to your advice in the other thread:

(You're not going to do this, I know. But you can look back on this advice later and say, "Fuck, being friends with her after the break up was the worst. I should've stuck up for myself and followed soultron's advice.")

You were right by the way... lol... I can only assume you are going to be right about this too.

This is still some time away, and since my mind works in strange ways I will think about this when I have down-time, hopefully not over thinking it. I will still try my best and avoid her and follow your advice until I make my decision.

What exactly are you trying to achieve here? Do you think you'll win her back? do you feel bad for her?

I honestly don't know. I think it stems more of how she is acting after the break up. I just think the whole situation is extremely strange. Maybe I'm curious, maybe it is my inexperience that is making me think silly things. I honestly feel there is something more to this then she wanted to tell me, whether that is a good or bad thing. I have never seen someone go from very excited and outgoing while in a relationship; then one day going to "hermit mode" after a break up that they initiated especially after what she said was the reason. If this is pretty normal please tell me because I have never experienced or heard of this happening before from any of my friends.


I also want to thank you two for personally helping me last time too, it really helped me. I'm sorry if I come across arrogant or something worse, but I have always been an impulse person. Which is probably why this makes perfect sense in my head, but when it is on paper people see the flaws in it and point them out. I want you two to know that what you are telling, I really do consider, your time is not wasted. This is probably my inexperience talking, but I just have a feeling about my situation and I feel the need to act on it anyway I possibly can, hopefully for the better outcome, which is probably unlikely.

Maybe that is the bigger problem with me than anything else.

 

[Hypereides]

just to be clear, my comments weren't directed at you in particular. i was just throwing that out there. my whole experience with these guys just really left a bad taste in my mouth. this thread provided the opportunity to share some (imo) good advice on the subject with people looking for advice.

Youre not alone. Some of them are fucking way out of bounds. One guy, who stalks me, follows it word by word, dresses in uniform: gothic tuxedo, always bares a cane, has long hair (which isnt complimentary) and overall doesnt take of himself. He only displays arrogance and takes advantage of my social circle.

So yeah. I know. REALLY regret meeting that fucker and introducing him to my peeps. I feel sour about him.

Truth be told. He does badly with women.

 

[Sanky Panky]

I honestly don't know. I think it stems more of how she is acting after the break up. I just think the whole situation is extremely strange. Maybe I'm curious, maybe it is my inexperience that is making me think silly things. I honestly feel there is something more to this then she wanted to tell me, whether that is a good or bad thing. I have never seen someone go from very excited and outgoing while in a relationship; then one day going to "hermit mode" after a break up that they initiated especially after what she said was the reason. If this is pretty normal please tell me because I have never experienced or heard of this happening before from any of my friends.
.

No problem on the help. As far as this situation, you may be confused or think that there must be something going on, but we are here to give you a prespective outside of yourself. It's normal for you to feel like this, but a person that loves you doesn't do what she did. You'll grow wiser, and you will know that you don't deserve to be with someone who changes their mind on a whim.

As for how she's acting, she's not doing a cry for help or anything. I've broken up a few times with people, and you feel like an asshole, especially of the relationship was "good". Her way of coping is to not go anywhere near anything that reminds her of you, as it is the best way to forget you. YOU SHOULD DO THE SAME.

Don't invite her. DON'T DO IT. Not only does it make you look desperate, but you'll stroke her ego that she has you by the balls. If you don't do this, and completely ignore her, I give it 3 months before she reaches out TO YOU. In fact, you'll regret asking her later, not the other way around.

 

[TheBear]

Don't invite her. DON'T DO IT. Not only does it make you look desperate, but you'll stroke her ego that she has you by the balls. If you don't do this, and completely ignore her, I give it 3 months before she reaches out TO YOU. In fact, you'll regret asking her later, not the other way around.

Sage advice.

I think the movie 'Swingers' needs to be added to the OP as mandatory viewing. Watch that shit until your eyes bleed fellas, it has all the answers.

 

[MutantCyborg]

Don't invite her. DON'T DO IT. Not only does it make you look desperate, but you'll stroke her ego that she has you by the balls. If you don't do this, and completely ignore her, I give it 3 months before she reaches out TO YOU. In fact, you'll regret asking her later, not the other way around.

I don't know why/how... but that line got me. I'll try my best and forget about this for a few months and focus on my friends and school in the mean time. I just re-read the advice given by you two in the last thread and I agree that it may be too early for me to do this.

I will sit on it for as long as I can, if the feeling to do this still exists after some time I'll act on it.

Thanks again

 

[Domino Theory]

Depends on the situation, but mostly yes. Women know that the first thing you notice is her looks, so this is perfectly fine. The point of the date is to get to know her.

Looks are pretty important, the date and time after is when you actually get to know them.

Thanks.

I used to be obese all my life growing up, but the past couple years I've been hammering down on my diet and doing heavy lifting so I've changed my look DRAMATICALLY, but because I grew up the way I did, I've become obsessive over all my imperfections (I look better from the front than the side for my face, I wear glasses, I'm not up to par when it comes to penis size, etc. etc. etc.) and I feel that's causing a lot of my regressive behavoir.

It also sucks because I'm 4 weeks and counting into the whole quitting porn thing and I've noticed a drastic increase in the desire to have a human connection/be with a woman intimately, emotionally, and sexually, but my enormouse fear and anxiety prevent me from doing anything.

It's as if fear/anxiety is the unstoppable force and my huge desire for a connection is the immovable object.

 

[tigerin]

I have to warn you: dating a friend of your sister can get you in really awkward situations. How much time do they spend together? Chances are that the girl has to split her time to make both you and your sister happy.

Believe me, I'm in that same boat right now.

And a quick tip for the night: do not make a fool of yourself in front of your sister. Act cool and just be yourself.

okay, got it.

and can you go into more depth with acting cool and be yourself? you know how sisters are.....they think everything you do are lame. =(

Don't go with the goal of picking her friends up. Just go with the goal of having fun. Remember that if your sister is beyond wasted, you (moreso than her friends) are responsible for making sure she gets home okay.

If there's a few girls there that you're attracted to, just say hello and try talking with them. The other thing is that you'll be in a club, so don't feel like you have to limit yourself to the girls that are in your sister's party group.

thanks man! i know i can count on you! =) but i do had a few questions tho.

so what do you talk about with her friends that won't make them think you're a creep? and if it at the restaurant, what would be a best way to talk to them if we're all stationary and far apart?

and what about the clubbing scene? how do i talk to them there and how do i talk to other girls at the club without them go off looking for me?

is it better to talk to them at the resutarant of club?

 

[Etrian Oddity]

An article at a humor site I frequent actually posted a pretty germane column, in regards to this thread.

The guy who can't close simply needs to STOP THINKING

Such a simple concept, but so hard to actually implement. Since I stumbled upon that article, I keep telling myself to just stop thinking about it--not just for girls, but for any negative scenario.

It seems contrary to my intellectualism, but it really does help you out.

 

[~Kinggi~]

An article at a humor site I frequent actually posted a pretty germane column, in regards to this thread.

The guy who can't close simply needs to STOP THINKING

Such a simple concept, but so hard to actually implement. Since I stumbled upon that article, I keep telling myself to just stop thinking about it--not just for girls, but for any negative scenario.

It seems contrary to my intellectualism, but it really does help you out.

That article was hilariously written.

 

[Etrian Oddity]

Every article on that site is written in-character. One of the draws to that site is its tongue-in-cheek nature.

 

[Xun]

This is a trivial thing to say, but I'm really unsure what to do with my hair.

Argh.

 

[Jason's Ultimatum]

Another question relating to my virginity:
If I do eventually have sex will it be fairly obvious to the girl that I'm a virgin when we're going at it? :|

I mean how hard could it be? (no pun intended...) It's just a simple back and forth motion.

What he's saying is that you are gonna be so bad at sex the first time that you don't wanna have sex with someone you like, 'cause they'll think you're a weirdo for being so lame at it. So you wanna have sex with "hood rats" so that by the time you get to a girl that you do like, you won't be terrible at sex, you'll be mediocre at it. [pause] Probably still pretty bad, though.

 

[Hypereides]

This is a trivial thing to say, but I'm really unsure what to do with my hair.

Argh.

Post a picture of what you would want your hair to look like.

 

[Zeppu]

I agree with you. However, removing a mental obstacle ("OH GOD, I DIDN'T LAST LONG ENOUGH!") is an important note in this situation, I think.

I worried about that, I know that much.

I'm scared shitless of this. I haven't had sex in a while now and I'm afraid I'd bust my nut immediately next time I get to do it. :S

 

[Schlep]

Also, if you can, make sure you "safety" (jerk off before you see her) if you know you're going to be doing the deed. It'll make you last a lot longer. I think that's another one of the biggest giveaways to women; you not lasting a long time.

Have to be careful with this. It may make your girl more self conscious and think that she doesn't turn you on and/or that you don't enjoy sex with her.

 

[Boozeroony]

I'm scared shitless of this. I haven't had sex in a while now and I'm afraid I'd bust my nut immediately next time I get to do it. :S

Fuck that. Bust the nut immediately. Tell her it's been awhile. Have 10 minutes rest/cuddling. Fuck her again. Rinse and repeat.

 

[Hypereides]

I'm scared shitless of this. I haven't had sex in a while now and I'm afraid I'd bust my nut immediately next time I get to do it. :S

Oh dont worry, I bet she will be pleased by the outcome.

EDIT: But seriously, if you feel thats your problem. Relax. Take it slow. From what I gather most women like it that way.

 

[ConradCervantes]

Yeah I've never been a fan of the safety jerk. One time I didn't masturbate for about 2 weeks before I was meeting up with this girl. I told her I was doing it on purpose, and she was SUPER into it, trying to make me cum as fast as she could.

Yeah, I don't disclose my lack of whacking it for that reason alone. Girls feel like it's a challenge to make you blow your load ASAP. It's irritating, but obviously in a good way.

 

[Boozeroony]

Yeah, I don't disclose my lack of whacking it for that reason alone. Girls feel like it's a challenge to make you blow your load ASAP. It's irritating, but obviously in a good way.

I restrain from jerking when I know I'm going to get laid. I know I will have sex tomorrow evening and I haven't been jerking for 4 days now. She is in for some good plowing.