Favorite Homer Simpson moments?

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Aug 23, 2007
Even though it's not his dialogue:

Lionel Hutz: Now, Mrs. Simpson, tell the court in your own words what happened after you and your husband were ejected out of the restaurant.
Marge: Well, we pretty much went straight home.
Lionel Hutz: Mrs. Simpson, remember that you are under oath.
Marge: We drove around until three in the morning looking for another open all-you-can-eat seafood restaurant.
Lionel Hutz: And when you couldn't find one?
Marge: [crying] We... went... fishing.
Lionel Hutz: Do these sound like the actions of a man who had all he could eat?​

Feb 6, 2009
Homer: Burkina Faso? Disputed Zone? Who called all these weird places?

Homer's Brain: Quiet, it might be you! I can't remember.

Homer: Naw, I'm going to ask Marge.

Homer's Brain: No, no! Why embarrass us both Just write a check and I'll release some more endorphins.

(Homer starts to scribble a check then ...)

Homer: (sighs)
May 23, 2013
People die all the time, just like that. Why, you could wake up dead tomorrow! Well, good night.

Inanimate, huh? I'll show him inanimate!

We're going out Marge. If we don't come back, avenge our deaths!


Bane? Get them on board, I'll call it in.
Dec 10, 2008
May 18, 2006
Inanimate? I'll show you inanimate!

You couldn't fool your mother on the foolingest day of your life if you had an electrified fooling machine!

Scooby Doo can doo doo. But Jimmy Carter is smarter.

As God as my witness, I'll always be hungry again!

I wasn't asleep at the switch. I was drunk!

Egghead likes his booky-books!

I'm getting out of this town alive if it kills me.

Joke's on them, I'll be dead by then.

First thing tomorrow morning I'm gonna punch Lenny in the back of the head.
Dec 24, 2013
The Canine Mutiny Episode
Homer: Well, crying isn't gonna bring him back ... unless your tears smell like dog food. So you can either sit there crying and eating can after can of dog food until your tears smell enough like dog food to make your dog come back, or you can go out there and find your dog.
Bart: You're right, dad! [leaves]
Homer: Rats! Almost had him eating dog food!

Homer The Vigilante Episode
Kent Brockman: Mr. Simpson, how do you respond to the charges that petty vandalism such as graffiti is down eighty percent, while heavy sack beatings are up a shocking nine hundred percent?
Homer: Aw, you can come up with statistics to prove anything, Kent. Forfty percent of all people know that.
Kent Brockman: I see. Well, what do you say to the accusation that your group has been causing more crimes than it's been preventing?
Homer: Oh, Kent, I'd be lying if I said my men weren't committing crimes.
Kent Brockman: [pause] Well, touché.
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