When I met my husband, he was a student, only visiting Canada for a few months to collect data for his thesis for his degree. I started dating him knowing he'd be leaving the country for at least a year to continue his studies. Worked out, though, obviously.teiresias said:So yesterday was the 8 month mark with my BF. Been great so far. We haven't even really had a big fight or anything - sometimes I'm not sure if that's good or bad. Still, it's the happiest I've been in a while and all of my friends and family adore him, so that's something.
Only hitch is that a job opportunity may make him move about three hours away in a few months, so we'll just have to play it by ear at that point.
Magnus said:I absolutely get it, I cannot get involved with a happily married guy. And his guy is great. I have no bad intentions. But goddamn if he isn't making it clear that he would dig some affection.
d+pad said:one thing to keep in mind throughout all of this: If he cheats on his husband/partner and even leaves him for you, it's likely he'll do the same to you at some point.
I always figured that anyone who's enough of a dirtbag to cheat on their husband/wife isn't nearly good enough for me.Cosmic Bus said:Look at it this way: a married man who's all too willing to run off in the middle of the night to roll around on the floor with someone he just met for the first time and kisses them on the way out? Despicable. He's a dirtbag. It's going to lead to trouble for his relationship (if it's not already a mess, even just under the surface) and for you if any of this continues.
d+pad said:Don't want to rain on your parade, Magnus, but one thing to keep in mind throughout all of this: If he cheats on his husband/partner and even leaves him for you, it's likely he'll do the same to you at some point.
demonix69 said:So a guy I've been hanging out with regularly the past few months asked me a couple nights ago if we could take things to the next level and start dating. We have great chemistry, a shitload to talk about, and he's pretty cute. I've gotten to the point where I don't want to rush into a relationship (based on a quite a few past relationships I've jumped into without thinking) until I've gotten to know the guy well, so I mentioned this to him and he was cool with it.
That said, there are a couple other guys I've been getting to know as well for the same duration. Both who also great and I think there could be potential for a relationship with either one of them as well.
All in all I'm still kind of just seeing what's around before I make any kind of commitment and getting to know these guys without the rush. I enjoy their company and don't really want to choose right now.
My problem is, tonight I hung out again with the first guy I mentioned and when we were saying goodbye he tried to kiss me. I kind of dodged him unintentionally as I wasn't expecting it at all.
I'm not sure if I should be truthful with him and just say I'm playing the field or if it's best to just keep it as wanting to stay friends and not give a specific reason. I don't wanna want to make him wait but at the same time I'd hate to fuck things up and put him off for good.
Magnus said:The more I think about this, the more I'm uncomfortable with it. You guys are right. I'll make sure he understands that if even just hangin out has to be hidden from his hubby, I'm not comfortable with that. Honestly I just want friendship with the guy.
Magnus said:Just reinforces my opinion that hyper-strict monogamy just doesn't work for most people, and that if someone feels like they're one of those people that needs more than one person, they should just be honest with their partner ahead of time and make it a part of their relationship.
Magnus said:What do you guys all think of a kiss? I've seen it be as casual as a handshake in the gay community among friends. Just an affectionate tap, nothing French or ridiculous, you know, lol.
That is frigging terrible advice.Eccocid said:Do friendship sex with him! lol be fuck buddies! why do u feel bad if he is not fucking you he would fuck with another guy! Just enjoy let him regret it not you!
Alcoori said:Honestly, don't be that guy. Gays don't have to be promiscuous. I don't kiss my gay friends to say hi or bye.
I mean I don't know if that's really useful now that I've seen your last reply, but in my opinion, no, it's not like a handshake.
Kiss on the cheek and/or hug, yes, but kissing always has a "sexual" connotation for me.
But then again, whenever I see a kid and his parents kiss on the mouth to say hi, I find it super weird. This is not something you really see in Europe ::lol
Anyway, I was gonna write something very much like what Cosmic wrote, but didn't want to shit all over your happy moment so I just wrote a one word reply
But yeah, it's not really like just having random sex with someone (or wants to), you did say you've been talking to him for a long time and that you guys get along really well so even more than the sexual cheating, seems like there's some emotional cheating as well.
sublime085 said:So I've been chatting and hanging out with this new guy recently. He's super cute, nice, funny. Good job. Just an adorable little ginger bear.
But last night we had a facebook chat about the stuff we like in bed, and man, he is into some hardcore kink. And I'm pretty damn intimidated all of a sudden. We wants me to be really dom and do... things I haven't done before. And I kinda gave him the impression that I'm game to do all this stuff. So I talked the talked, but know I'm hella nervous to walk the walk. And I don't want to disappoint him now.
Anyone have any advice for me? I'm scared :lol
Rez said:some people hate feeling like they're being auditioned.
make a choice or tell the truth.
Alcoori said:Like Rez I think you should just be frank about it.
You said yourself you hung out with him quite a bit so if you were to date him that wouldn't qualify as jumping into a relationship. However, if you're still unsure it's probably because it's not meant to be. Either way, you can't just keep dodging his attempts while making sure he doesn't take it the wrong way, so that he'll still be here in case it doesn't work out with the other ones.
No one likes to be strung along so if you care even a little about him, you know what you gotta do.
d+pad said:I'm not trying to be an ass here, but you're definitely stringing this guy along -- and you're likely doing the same to the other guys you're currently "getting to know."
If all you want to do is have some fun, let everyone know. If you seriously want to get to know one of them better, though -- and maybe start a relationship with that person, etc. -- I think you've got to stop playing the field and focus on just one person.
Just my two cents, of course![]()
Oh god, I'm gonna need a shower after telling you. :lolEccocid said:lol! omg what does he want?
sublime085 said:Oh god, I'm gonna need a shower after telling you. :lol
Basically he wants me to "use" him all over my house, and in as many rooms as possible. Call him names and make him beg. Slap him. And the part that really has me freaked out,spit and piss on him
I'm a really nice guy too! This is very different from what I'm used to.
well it's funky and weird to me!Eccocid said:oh i was expecting more funky weird things like making sex with in weird costumes etc![]()
Magnus said:Why do we always want what we can't have,,,,argh lol
sublime085 said:well it's funky and weird to me!kinda hot though
You're an idiot.Eccocid said:Do friendship sex with him! lol be fuck buddies! why do u feel bad if he is not fucking you he would fuck with another guy! Just enjoy let him regret it not you!
Don't try to set the rules for other people's relationships.Cosmic Bus said:I dunno, that goes against my idea of what a relationship is. Committing yourself to one person, both sexually and emotionally, can be hard but that's kind of the point. If someone's going to say, "Hey, you help complete my life, we fit together like puzzle pieces and I only want you... unless I happen to be horny and the opportunity is there, in which case I only want to get laid, but I promise I'll come home later" then you're not in a relationship, you're splitting the rent with a fuckbuddy.
Roto13 said:Don't try to set the rules for other people's relationships.
Sounds to me like if someone has an open relationship, you don't consider it a relationship, and that's not your place to decide.Cosmic Bus said:"...that goes against my idea of what a relationship is."
Rez said:it sounds to me like you're arguing over whether a guy on the internet considers another guy on the internet in a relationship, which seems kinda pointless
As opposed to all the meaningful discussions you have on the internet.Rez said:it sounds to me like you're arguing over whether a guy on the internet considers another guy on the internet in a relationship, which seems kinda pointless
Roto13 said:Sounds to me like if someone has an open relationship, you don't consider it a relationship, and that's not your place to decide.
ZephyrFate said:I think open relationships are a terrible idea.
I'd feel like I'm violating my relationship as I'm dating that person just to fuck that person, no one else. If I wanted to have a threesome, I'd break the relationship up and go have anonymous sex. Better to be single for that sort of stuff. Especially if in the threesome or foursome your partner gets more turned on by the other guys than you.excelforward said:So, obviously I know you all feel about open relationships, but how do you feel about threesomes/swinging with another couple, so long as your partner is with you?
Also, don't just post 'Oh, that sounds terrible'. Actually give me a reason as to why. It doesn't have to be a good one, just something more substantive than a two-word answer.
I am fine with the idea so long as all parties involved are 100% okay with it, and so long as the sex involves you and your partner (not just you getting on the side without your partner, and vice versa).
it would make me feel way too uncomfortable to be honest. i certainly don't hate on anyone in an open relationship or who have 3somes but it's just not for me. i would feel like my partner bringing either of them up might signify the incoming end of our relationship. to me it signifies boredom, but that's probably just because i don't have the urge to ever have sex with another guy other than my bf. i'm sure it's not that way for everyone, but if my bf were to bring up that stuff i'd feel like maybe we aren't that right for each other because we would just have different comforts on the matter.excelforward said:So, obviously I know you all feel about open relationships, but how do you feel about threesomes/swinging with another couple, so long as your partner is with you?
Also, don't just post 'Oh, that sounds terrible'. Actually give me a reason as to why. It doesn't have to be a good one, just something more substantive than a two-word answer.
I am fine with the idea so long as all parties involved are 100% okay with it, and so long as the sex involves you and your partner (not just you getting on the side without your partner, and vice versa).
okno said:Ugh. Ugh! So, hickey boy and I are still together. Things are going well, but not amazing. He's really sweet, a ton of fun when we go out or when we just hang out at home, but he's horrible in bed. I mean, HORRIBLE. I feel shallow saying it, but it's really getting in the way of me wanting to stay with him. Everything else in our relationship is really great, but he is the definition of a dead fish when the clothes are off. I've tried getting him to do other things, like wrestle or spanking/slapping, make him throw me around/vice-versa, but he'll just stop and then lay there. Literally lay there. I can only be the bitch for so long before I get bored. It's it really horrible of me to want to end it and just be friends?
okno said:Ugh. Ugh! So, hickey boy and I are still together. Things are going well, but not amazing. He's really sweet, a ton of fun when we go out or when we just hang out at home, but he's horrible in bed. I mean, HORRIBLE. I feel shallow saying it, but it's really getting in the way of me wanting to stay with him. Everything else in our relationship is really great, but he is the definition of a dead fish when the clothes are off. I've tried getting him to do other things, like wrestle or spanking/slapping, make him throw me around/vice-versa, but he'll just stop and then lay there. Literally lay there. I can only be the bitch for so long before I get bored. It's it really horrible of me to want to end it and just be friends?
titiklabingapat said:It's still early but I definitely feel like I'm living that freakin' song and it gives me butterflies in my tummy every time I hear it. But I'm having the best week in a while, just being around him. We can't keep our hands off of each other with constant PDAs, this has never happened to me before. Everytime I think about him, it makes me smile![]()
ZephyrFate said:I just have a hard time with a couple truly being fine with swinging or having a 3some. It just boggles my mind. I can understand the fun of 3somes/4somes/orgies when you're single, though.
Today the White House announced the publication of rules prohibiting Medicare and Medicaid hospitals from denying visitation privileges on the basis of race, color, national origin, religion, sex, sexual orientation, gender identity, or disability.
The rules were created in response to a Presidential Memorandum issued earlier this year which instructed the Department of Health and Human Services to create new rules allowing patients the right to choose their own visitors during a hospital stay.
Today, the Centers for Medicare & Medicaid Services (CMS) has issued that rule - a rule that will let patients decide whom they want by their bedside when they are sick - and that includes a visitor who is a same-sex domestic partner. The rule presents an important step forward in giving all Americans more control over their health care.
The new rules:
Require hospitals to explain to all patients their right to choose who may visit them during their inpatient stay, regardless of whether the visitor is a family member, a spouse, a domestic partner (including a same-sex domestic partner), or other type of visitor, as well as their right to withdraw such consent to visitation at any time.
Require hospitals have written policies and procedures detailing patients' visitation rights, as well as the circumstances under which the hospitals may restrict patient access to visitors based on reasonable clinical needs.
Specify that all visitors chosen by the patient must be able to enjoy "full and equal" visitation privileges consistent with the wishes of the patient.
Update the Conditions of Participation (CoPs), which are the health and safety standards all Medicare- and Medicaid-participating hospitals and critical access hospitals must meet, and are applicable to all patients of those hospitals regardless of payer source.
CMS finalized the rules based on thousands of comments from patient advocates, the hospital community, and other stakeholders. The rules will be effective 60 days after publication.
For more information about the rules, visit CMS' website: http://www.cms.gov/CFCsAndCoPs... and http://www.cms.gov/CFCsAndCoPs...
Brian Bond is Deputy Director of the Office of Public Engagement