• Hey, guest user. Hope you're enjoying NeoGAF! Have you considered registering for an account? Come join us and add your take to the daily discourse.

Gay and Bisexual relationship thread |OT|

Status
Not open for further replies.

ciD_Vain

Member
Hi everyone! Seems everyone's doing well :)

Been a bit since i posted in here, but I have something to discuss. I have a friend who is friends with a really nice guy (A) and he has a boyfriend (B). My friend and I share a mutual guy friend (C). So the situation is like this:

Guy A and Guy B are in an unhealthy relationship. Both are really cute guys, but Guy B is an asshole. He's very controlling in almost every aspect of the relationship and has already cheated on him at least once. However, Guy A can't seem to get over him and just stays in the relationship because he says he really loves Guy B... To make matters more complicated, my friend and I just found out that Guy B sometimes hits up our mutual friend Guy C, to hook up in secret, behind Guy A's back... but Guy C doesn't even know about Guy A. Guy A and Guy C both have no clue about that whole thing. Isn't this whole situation fucked? My friend and I talked yesterday about telling Guy A and Guy C about the whole thing and we're planning to. We're sort of concerned what can happen but at this point, I just kind of need a little advice because I don't want to see my friends hurt anymore and wasting their time.
 

Pyrokai

Member
Hey guys, I need some serious help. Is there anyone here who is really knowledgeable about HIV and STDs in general who is also willing to help me out? I'm terrified that I might be HIV+ and I need to talk to someone. I can't get tested because from what I've gathered I need to wait 3 months, but I can't wait that long. I need to talk to someone who can help explain to me exactly how much I'm at risk from what I've done and if I should even be concerned. If anyone wants to PM me, I would greatly appreciate it. Thanks so much, guys.
 

royalan

Member
From my experience?

Tell Guy C.

Don't tell Guy A.

As much of a jerk as guy B is being, it's really not your place to intervene on someone else's relationship. Guy A knows what kind of man Guy B is, and if he chooses to turn a blind eye to his shit and stay, well that's his
sucky-ass
choice.

However, Guy C is your friend and is on the verge of getting caught up in some major drama that he's not aware of. So, in that case, I'd tell him.
 

lenovox1

Member
From my experience?

Tell Guy C.

Don't tell Guy A.

As much of a jerk as guy B is being, it's really not your place to intervene on someone else's relationship. Guy A knows what kind of man Guy B is, and if he chooses to turn a blind eye to his shit and stay, well that's his
sucky-ass
choice.

However, Guy C is your friend and is on the verge of getting caught up in some major drama that he's not aware of. So, in that case, I'd tell him.

I'm inclined to agree. But if Guy A already knows the type of man Guy B is, would telling Guy A really be that big of a shock? Enough of a surprise that it would make Guy A upset that he was told? I just really don't want Guy C to confront Guy B or Guy A while Guy A is still oblivious to the whole thing. And I wouldn't want Guy B to find out that Guy C knows about his boyfriend, because it gives Guy B enough time to come up with a bullshit story to tell Guy A.
I hope I got all the letters right.

So, basically, I would tell both at the same time. But I wouldn't just drop the bomb and walk away. I would feel the need to support both of them through while they were going through. But Guy A's just a friend of a friend, ciD_Vain, you don't have an obligation to tell him, coddle him, or support him in any way.
 

fernoca

Member
-Blackmail Guy B and demand naked pictures.
-Tell Guy C.
-Have sex with Guy A.

Problem solved. :)

****

Watched Judas Kiss and was nice. As long as you don't try to make sense out of the whole "time traveling aspect". Still weird seeing Brent Corrigan in non-porn. Though he acts quite well at least. His character was likeable.
 

royalan

Member
I'm inclined to agree. But if Guy A already knows the type of man Guy B is, would telling Guy A really be that big of a shock? Enough of a surprise that it would make Guy A upset that he was told? I just really don't want Guy C to confront Guy B or Guy A while Guy A is still oblivious to the whole thing. And I wouldn't want Guy B to find out that Guy C knows about his boyfriend, because it gives Guy B enough time to come up with a bullshit story to tell Guy A.
I hope I got all the letters right.

So, basically, I would tell both at the same time. But I wouldn't just drop the bomb and walk away. I would feel the need to support both of them through while they were going through. But Guy A's just a friend of a friend, ciD_Vain, you don't have an obligation to tell him, coddle him, or support him in any way.

This is becoming a little hard to follow. lol

I don't know, but I've seen it happen where friendships were ruined over people becoming too involved in other people's relationships. Guy A knows his man is a lying sack of fermented shit, and chooses to stay with him anyway because he apparently thinks that little of himself. A knows B is a cheater, constantly reminding him of that would only serve to embarrass him and possibly piss him off.

I agree that telling C alone may prompt C to confront the two of them, but really, at that point it's only ABC's business. I don't think Cid and his friend getting involved will help make anything clearer to A, or stop B from telling a bullshit story to cover his tracks if that's really what he would do (and it's likely he would).

Basically, I think C is really the only one who benefits from being told. Telling A really only supplies a face to what A already knows B is doing, as sad as that is.


(Oh, and thanks for thinking I'm more attractive than Larry Bird. lol)
 
Oh lord, I've found a new time waste. >_>

I've always wondered if there's anything to believe from these blind items.

Even if a description perfectly fits a celebrity, where does that description come from? Where are the sources? It's like the definition of gossip, and I don't believe that stuff.

So is there like, a really good source (system of sources) for all those rumors, or is it simply guessing and wishful thinking?
 

fernoca

Member
So is there like, a really good source (system of sources) for all those rumors, or is it simply guessing and wishful thinking?

It's a combination of this in most if not all cases.
Guessing, truth, rumors, etc. Of course been as vague as possible helps into spreading the word around too; while drives more people to the website/magazine/newspaper/whatever.

There's always the "he says/she says" too.
For example. A few years ago, Benjamin Walker was set to play Beast in X-Men: The First Class, but he had to drop out; so they had to recast Beast. While Nicholas Hoult ended been chosen for the role, in between that; Taylor Lautner was nearly cast and set to play Hank McCoy/Beast. During one of those negotiations ,Taylor and originally director/then producer Bryan Singer went out with him to talk about the possibilities, discuss ideas, etc...but....

Bryan Singer is gay and there has always been rumors about Taylor Lautner been gay (even when he has said in multiple interviews he isn't and a few gay websites/groups have condemned the media's obsession with asking him). So rumors went around that because they both went out to dinner and stuff; that that confirmed Taylor was gay and that they were heard talking about personal aspects and stuff; when they were just talking and getting to know better since they were going to work together. Taylor ultimately couldn't do it because of other commitments and around that time Singer also had to abandon directing since he was committed to Jack the Giant Killer.
 

hateradio

The Most Dangerous Yes Man
Hey guys, I need some serious help. Is there anyone here who is really knowledgeable about HIV and STDs in general who is also willing to help me out? I'm terrified that I might be HIV+ and I need to talk to someone. I can't get tested because from what I've gathered I need to wait 3 months, but I can't wait that long. I need to talk to someone who can help explain to me exactly how much I'm at risk from what I've done and if I should even be concerned. If anyone wants to PM me, I would greatly appreciate it. Thanks so much, guys.
Get tested regardless. :|
 

SpiffyG

Member
Hey guys, I need some serious help. Is there anyone here who is really knowledgeable about HIV and STDs in general who is also willing to help me out? I'm terrified that I might be HIV+ and I need to talk to someone. I can't get tested because from what I've gathered I need to wait 3 months, but I can't wait that long. I need to talk to someone who can help explain to me exactly how much I'm at risk from what I've done and if I should even be concerned. If anyone wants to PM me, I would greatly appreciate it. Thanks so much, guys.
I know there's a pill you can take within 24-48 hours of the "incident" to kill the virus. Not sure how long it's been for you, but that's an option. I had a friend who had to do that. Look into it. And YES, just go get tested regardless, please! I hope everything works out! :)
 

RatskyWatsky

Hunky Nostradamus
I don't know. Something about the cocksure expression he wears on his face most of the time just reads "I'm not good in bed because I don't have to be."

I see. Now that you mention it, he does look a little cocksure. But then again, so do most actors...

I know there's a pill you can take within 24-48 hours of the "incident" to kill the virus. Not sure how long it's been for you, but that's an option. I had a friend who had to do that. Look into it. And YES, just go get tested regardless, please! I hope everything works out! :)

Wow. I didn't know such a thing existed. That's kinda awesome.
 

SpiffyG

Member
Trying to go out. But like I'm so akward with it and don't know where to start :/
If you want to get hit on by guys, go alone. People will be too intimated to approach you if you have your friends there with you. And yes, I know, I'm completely awkward too and the thought of going to a bar alone is a nightmare, but that's one of the best and easiest ways to meet guys.

Wow. I didn't know such a thing existed. That's kinda awesome.
Yeah, I don't know the details or what the efficacy rate is, but such a thing does exist. I was amazed when I first heard about it too! I'm going to do some more research on it right now so I can inform my friends just in case they need it one day!
 

ciD_Vain

Member
I'm inclined to agree. But if Guy A already knows the type of man Guy B is, would telling Guy A really be that big of a shock? Enough of a surprise that it would make Guy A upset that he was told? I just really don't want Guy C to confront Guy B or Guy A while Guy A is still oblivious to the whole thing. And I wouldn't want Guy B to find out that Guy C knows about his boyfriend, because it gives Guy B enough time to come up with a bullshit story to tell Guy A.
I hope I got all the letters right.

So, basically, I would tell both at the same time. But I wouldn't just drop the bomb and walk away. I would feel the need to support both of them through while they were going through. But Guy A's just a friend of a friend, ciD_Vain, you don't have an obligation to tell him, coddle him, or support him in any way.

This is becoming a little hard to follow. lol

I don't know, but I've seen it happen where friendships were ruined over people becoming too involved in other people's relationships. Guy A knows his man is a lying sack of fermented shit, and chooses to stay with him anyway because he apparently thinks that little of himself. A knows B is a cheater, constantly reminding him of that would only serve to embarrass him and possibly piss him off.

I agree that telling C alone may prompt C to confront the two of them, but really, at that point it's only ABC's business. I don't think Cid and his friend getting involved will help make anything clearer to A, or stop B from telling a bullshit story to cover his tracks if that's really what he would do (and it's likely he would).

Basically, I think C is really the only one who benefits from being told. Telling A really only supplies a face to what A already knows B is doing, as sad as that is.


(Oh, and thanks for thinking I'm more attractive than Larry Bird. lol)

Hmm...I think after thinking about it, the right thing to do is to let C know about the situation. He is my friend, and it sucks knowing he's involving himself in that kind of mess, especially knowing what kind of guy B is. Thanks guys, i'll let you know what happens.
 
I know there's a pill you can take within 24-48 hours of the "incident" to kill the virus. Not sure how long it's been for you, but that's an option. I had a friend who had to do that. Look into it. And YES, just go get tested regardless, please! I hope everything works out! :)

Thats the first ive heard of it. Link?
 

royalan

Member
I know there's a pill you can take within 24-48 hours of the "incident" to kill the virus. Not sure how long it's been for you, but that's an option. I had a friend who had to do that. Look into it. And YES, just go get tested regardless, please! I hope everything works out! :)

Only kind of true. What you're referring to is the practice of flooding the body with antiviral meds immediately after contact with the virus. You're put on the meds for weeks at a time and, even then, there's still a sizable risk of infection.

Not meaning to be rude, and I hope your friend is ok. But, just for clarity's sake on such an important issue: There is no such thing as an "HIV Plan-B".
 

SpiffyG

Member
Are you talking about PEP (Post Exposure Profylaxis) treatment?

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Post-exposure_prophylaxis
Yes, that must be it. AZT is the HIV specific medication. Ok, so "taking HIV-attacking medications shortly after exposure was proven to reduce the risk of contracting HIV" and it's within 72 hours.


Only kind of true. What you're referring to is the practice of flooding the body with antiviral meds immediately after contact with the virus. You're put on the meds for weeks at a time and, even then, there's still a sizable risk of infection.

Not meaning to be rude, and I hope your friend is ok. But, just for clarity's sake on such an important issue: There is no such thing as an "HIV Plan-B".
Sorry, I didn't mean to misinform. Thank you for the clarification! And thanks, my friend is doing ok to my knowledge. If he contracted anything, he never told me. :(
 

Delio

Member
If you want to get hit on by guys, go alone. People will be too intimated to approach you if you have your friends there with you. And yes, I know, I'm completely awkward too and the thought of going to a bar alone is a nightmare, but that's one of the best and easiest ways to meet guys.

I've never been to a bar even with friends :/
 
There's a gay cafe in my town who also has its own 'youth club' for guys and girls 'till the age of 28. They have their own bar night every thursday night. They also organise 'meeting up groups' two times a year. I decided to sign up for one. I just came out in january and really don't know any other gay guys to go out with or anything. It lasts 8 weeks, and you basically talk about your coming out, watch a gay movie together but also go out in Amsterdam. It's free and you can quit anytime you want. Decided it's a good way to meet some people and slowly roll into the world of gay nightlife ;) Starts in april, kind of nervous and excited at the same time.
 

SpiffyG

Member
There's a gay cafe in my town who also has its own 'youth club' for guys and girls 'till the age of 28. They have their own bar night every thursday night. They also organise 'meeting up groups' two times a year. I decided to sign up for one. I just came out in january and really don't know any other gay guys to go out with or anything. It lasts 8 weeks, and you basically talk about your coming out, watch a gay movie together but also go out in Amsterdam. It's free and you can quit anytime you want. Decided it's a good way to meet some people and slowly roll into the world of gay nightlife ;) Starts in april, kind of nervous and excited at the same time.
That is amazing! I wish I'd experienced something like that growing up! Sounds like you'll meet a lot of like-minded individuals, and grow exponentially. Go for it!
 
Well first I really have no friends around me. Second I just don't like the bar scene much :/

I assume you have tried before? Just go to a gay bar and start drinking till you feel good. You never know someone could approach you. It's always funner to go to a gay club and get drunk and then dance like a slut though. :)
 

Lucario

Member
I assume you have tried before? Just go to a gay bar and start drinking till you feel good. You never know someone could approach you. It's always funner to go to a gay club and get drunk and then dance like a slut though. :)

This is an issue for me. .-. I really want to go clubbing, but I'm underage, and clubbing sober just doesn't sound fun to me... Should I go to under 21 clubs anyway? It seems kind of like an expensive, awkward waste of time to me, and there are few/no "gay under 21 clubs" that I can find.


There's a gay cafe in my town who also has its own 'youth club' for guys and girls 'till the age of 28. They have their own bar night every thursday night. They also organise 'meeting up groups' two times a year. I decided to sign up for one. I just came out in january and really don't know any other gay guys to go out with or anything. It lasts 8 weeks, and you basically talk about your coming out, watch a gay movie together but also go out in Amsterdam. It's free and you can quit anytime you want. Decided it's a good way to meet some people and slowly roll into the world of gay nightlife ;) Starts in april, kind of nervous and excited at the same time.
I did go to one of these though :) Was awkward since I was chubby and really young at the time, but I can't say it didn't help!

The only issue is that most of the people there used it as a way to meet guys... and never come back once they find one. Which is exactly what I did, and I regret it =\ I'm 20 now and I'd feel awkward going back, even though I'm pretty sure it goes to 25 or so; it was mostly high school kids, and there is no way in hell I'm dating a high schooler.

EDIT: They have a prom for GLBT youth every year, too! Straight kids in the area realized nobody was chaperoning who cared, so they use it as a massive sex party. I went twice and witnessed public sex on the dance floor both times >___>

Music sucked too.

.... still fun.
 
There's a gay cafe in my town who also has its own 'youth club' for guys and girls 'till the age of 28. They have their own bar night every thursday night. They also organise 'meeting up groups' two times a year. I decided to sign up for one. I just came out in january and really don't know any other gay guys to go out with or anything. It lasts 8 weeks, and you basically talk about your coming out, watch a gay movie together but also go out in Amsterdam. It's free and you can quit anytime you want. Decided it's a good way to meet some people and slowly roll into the world of gay nightlife ;) Starts in april, kind of nervous and excited at the same time.

This is how I came out and met ppl. Good job on working up the bravery to do this.
 

SpiffyG

Member
Well first I really have no friends around me. Second I just don't like the bar scene much :/
Well even more reason to get out there and make some! I really dislike the bar scene, too. But I go on occasion. These days, I go maybe once every couple of months. And I actually sometimes have a blast!

But if you're really that opposed to going to a bar or club, there are also plenty of groups that get together to do other things besides drink and dance like sluts. Check out meetup.com. For 'topic or interest' type in gay. You'll find a whole bunch of gay groups meeting to do all kinds of things together. Movies, sports, poker, etc.
 

Delio

Member
Well even more reason to get out there and make some! I really dislike the bar scene, too. But I go on occasion. These days, I go maybe once every couple of months. And I actually sometimes have a blast!

But if you're really that opposed to going to a bar or club, there are also plenty of groups that get together to do other things besides drink and dance like sluts. Check out meetup.com. For 'topic or interest' type in gay. You'll find a whole bunch of gay groups meeting to do all kinds of things together. Movies, sports, poker, etc.

Thanks for the idea. I know I just need to get out there and acutally meet people. And curse Fort worth for having nothing on meetup but dallas having everything haha.
 

SpiffyG

Member
Thanks for the idea. I know I just need to get out there and acutally meet people. And curse Fort worth for having nothing on meetup but dallas having everything haha.
YES! Just get out there! And those two cities are only about 40 miles apart. That's not that far! Stop making excuses and just goooo! haha. No but really, I live in a town on the outskirts of Los Angeles so I have to drive at least 20 minutes to get ANYWHERE. And if I'm driving into LA or Hollywood (which I go to once a week or so), it takes me 45 minutes. So if I can do it, so can you! :p
 
I went twice and witnessed public sex on the dance floor both times >___>

Er.... wat?

I don't think I could go clubbing by myself, and certainly not on to the dancefloor. I've seen people do that and they always look a little bit sad/alone. Admittedly these people are usually 30+ so that may play a factor.

Of course the club scene is probably different over in the US so there may be less stigma attached to it?
 

beje

Banned
I love classy people on dating sites. I got this one on Gayromeo:

He (Friday evening): "blah blah blah I'm a flight attendant blah blah lots of time in Madrid blah blah suck your cock..." (message ignored, he didn't even visit my profile)
He again (Sunday evening): same copy-pasted message, still not visiting my profile so at this point, it's really clear he's mindlessly spamming all Madrid with that crap, else he'd at least remember he wrote me.
Me: "If you're going to send the very same copy-pasted message to all gayromeo at least make sure you don't do it twice in less than 48 hours... it's really evident"
He (this time actually visiting my profile and most likely realising I'm not hot): "Fuck off!!"

I guess I really pissed him off XD gotta love these 'tards. And the best part is that I bet that he'll send me the message again in less than 2 weeks when he completely forget about it because I'm sure I'm not the only one that has messaged him something similar.
 
Er.... wat?

I don't think I could go clubbing by myself, and certainly not on to the dancefloor. I've seen people do that and they always look a little bit sad/alone. Admittedly these people are usually 30+ so that may play a factor.

Of course the club scene is probably different over in the US so there may be less stigma attached to it?

Misread
 

Lucario

Member
Er.... wat?

I don't think I could go clubbing by myself, and certainly not on to the dancefloor. I've seen people do that and they always look a little bit sad/alone. Admittedly these people are usually 30+ so that may play a factor.

Of course the club scene is probably different over in the US so there may be less stigma attached to it?

Welcome to the city I guess =\
 

Sofo

Member
I love classy people on dating sites. I got this one on Gayromeo:

He (Friday evening): "blah blah blah I'm a flight attendant blah blah lots of time in Madrid blah blah suck your cock..." (message ignored, he didn't even visit my profile)
He again (Sunday evening): same copy-pasted message, still not visiting my profile so at this point, it's really clear he's mindlessly spamming all Madrid with that crap, else he'd at least remember he wrote me.
Me: "If you're going to send the very same copy-pasted message to all gayromeo at least make sure you don't do it twice in less than 48 hours... it's really evident"
He (this time actually visiting my profile and most likely realising I'm not hot): "Fuck off!!"

I guess I really pissed him off XD gotta love these 'tards. And the best part is that I bet that he'll send me the message again in less than 2 weeks when he completely forget about it because I'm sure I'm not the only one that has messaged him something similar.
Haha, that's pretty pathetic of him! I mean, after all, he is the one who did the wrong. Probably a diva (flight attendant and diva? A bag full of clichés!)
 

Alcoori

Member
So gays, what are the most terrible pick up lines someone has used on you?

I was out with my teammates on Sat and was minding my own business getting my drink on and chatting away when this guy is somehow introduced to me so I go in to shake his hand and say hi and he tells me "I already know you, we had sex and you never called back". I was taken aback because I obviously wasn't expecting it. I doubted myself for a couple of seconds before I realized that never happened since I can name all of the guys I've been with since I moved here and he definitely isn't one of them (and completely not my type).
To make it worse, that guy kinda cockblocked me since the guy I was flirting with was just standing there next to me.

He then kept giving me those looks all night probably thinking I would end up doubting myself and pity fuck him because I would feel bad about not calling him.
Girl, please.
 

beje

Banned
So gays, what are the most terrible pick up lines someone has used on you?

I was out with my teammates on Sat and was minding my own business getting my drink on and chatting away when this guy is somehow introduced to me so I go in to shake his hand and say hi and he tells me "I already know you, we had sex and you never called back".
That never happened because I can name all of the guys I've been with since I moved here and he def wasn't one of them. To make it worse, that guy kinda cockblocked me since this guy I like was just there next to me.
He then kept giving me those looks all night probably thinking I would end up doubting myself and pity fuck him.

Most definitely the guy I talked about some weeks ago, that was smiling at me and following me a whole night in a bar without daring to say anything at all (well, I ended up hiding behind my friends because he was creeping me out, but still) only to send a message the next day on BearWWW telling me I didn't pay him any attention at all.
 

Masamuna

Member
Hey guys, I need some serious help. Is there anyone here who is really knowledgeable about HIV and STDs in general who is also willing to help me out? I'm terrified that I might be HIV+ and I need to talk to someone. I can't get tested because from what I've gathered I need to wait 3 months, but I can't wait that long. I need to talk to someone who can help explain to me exactly how much I'm at risk from what I've done and if I should even be concerned. If anyone wants to PM me, I would greatly appreciate it. Thanks so much, guys.

In a lot of cases antibodies start to form as soon as two weeks after exposure. Test then. It's only going to be approx 50% accurate though because its still too soon but if you need peace of mind it will help. Accuracy increases between 95-99% after 6 weeks so make your second test then. Finally go for 3 months post exposure just to make sure.

Also keep in mind that a lot of the symptoms that occur during seroconversion can also be attributed to other things like stress and are not definite. Although, certain symptoms can be pretty evident behind flu like symptoms (ie skin rash around the face and chest; rapid weight loss etc etc).

I'm currently going through the same thing. Although what I was exposed to was statistically low risk I was really scared at first. On top of that I found out I was exposed two weeks after the incident, and at the time I had relapsed and had a cigar that weekend. Nicotine withdrawls being very similar to some HIV+ symptoms threw me for a loop. I tested immediately and came up negative, and in 9 days will be my 6 weeks test.

The reality is even though there CAN be symptoms of seroconversion/ARS, there is just as many cases of people that came up positive without going through ANY symptoms. Go get tested after two weeks, check your temperature every once in a while and go about your business. The worse thing you can do now is let fear or overthinking consume you.
 
Omg today Eros told me that once he gets out of this that we can be lovers, and I said are you serious and he said yes!!! I was soooo happy lol.

Anyway I went clubbing over this weekend and I was getting checked out by this cute guy. When I walked past him with my friends I grabbed his ass, mmmff. I'm a slut when I'm drunk I guess, why didn't I get his number gahhh
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
Top Bottom