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Had sex last night

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J

Jason's Ultimatum

Member
Blows my mind how guys who are going to have sex for the first time in their lives can barely get hard and don't cum in minutes.

I was rock hard before even going up to the girl's apt my first time.
 
S

Symphonic

Member
Heavy said:
The total time spent actually having sex was maybe like 7 minutes but like 4-5 of it was pretty fast. Someone asked if she had an orgasm, I dunno. When we were fast and faster her time between breaths and moans became shorter so maybe she was close but probably not. Isn't it only like 20% of girls can have an orgasm with intercourse. Forgot to mention what her vagina tasted/smelled like. It didn't really smell like anything while i was down there. When i was driving home i smelled my two fingers a bunch of times and there was a scent but it wasn't a bad scent but it's not a good one either, it's like the tofu of scents meaning tofu doesn't really taste good or bad it's just tofu.
Click to expand...

captcha.gif
 
F

FutureZombie

Banned
It's a sad realization when you learn you have better orgasms masturbating than having sex. I think it's because you have total control when you're masturbating; you can pause at the right times.
 
W

Wind's Howling

Member
It's amazing how GAF quickly becomes a portal for last minute virgins to say how their first time was. The mind-blowing differences of experiences is just fun and insane at the same time.

Congrats OP. Hope there will be plenty more for you. It gets better after each experience.
 
A

acrid

Banned
Almost like my first time. Only there were no cell phones then, so no texting/sexting. Her bed in the dorm was extremely squeaky no matter how quiet we tried to be. Anyone walking past her door could figure out what was going on.

Heavy said:
The total time spent actually having sex was maybe like 7 minutes but like 4-5 of it was pretty fast. Someone asked if she had an orgasm, I dunno. When we were fast and faster her time between breaths and moans became shorter so maybe she was close but probably not. Isn't it only like 20% of girls can have an orgasm with intercourse. Forgot to mention what her vagina tasted/smelled like. It didn't really smell like anything while i was down there. When i was driving home i smelled my two fingers a bunch of times and there was a scent but it wasn't a bad scent but it's not a good one either, it's like the tofu of scents meaning tofu doesn't really taste good or bad it's just tofu.
Click to expand...

wtf.gif
 
Carnby

Carnby

Member
The part where Heavy talked about smelling his fingers reminded me of his thread about not bathing for a few months, itching himself, and smelling his fingers. Am I remember this correctly?
 
Ban Puncher

Ban Puncher

Member
Batigol said:
No. half-sister. It barely even counts.

My dad had an affair with another woman. Practically had another family in secret. Well, one kid anyway.

Parents broke up, he left, moved to a different country. Few years later he gets back in contact inviting me to his wedding 'cause he wanted to make it official with this skank.

I go meet his 'family' and his daughter, who's 5 years younger than me. Basically talked to her all night 'cause my family disowned him and I didn't know anyone else.

Stayed at his house, got drunk had sex. The end. I could barely keep it up because my head was spinning. Literally a few dozen thrusts. Didn't talk about it again and I never mentioned it to my dad. They live in England now so I barely see them
Click to expand...

655dtOO.gif
 
F

foxuzamaki

Doesn't read OPs, especially not his own
Batigol said:
No. half-sister. It barely even counts.

My dad had an affair with another woman. Practically had another family in secret. Well, one kid anyway.

Parents broke up, he left, moved to a different country. Few years later he gets back in contact inviting me to his wedding 'cause he wanted to make it official with this skank.

I go meet his 'family' and his daughter, who's 5 years younger than me. Basically talked to her all night 'cause my family disowned him and I didn't know anyone else.

Stayed at his house, got drunk had sex. The end. I could barely keep it up because my head was spinning. Literally a few dozen thrusts. Didn't talk about it again and I never mentioned it to my dad. They live in England now so I barely see them
Click to expand...

this is THE thread ladies and gentlemen.
 
B

Brera

Banned
shuri said:
I CANNOT BELIEVE YOU BANGED HER WITHOUT A CONDOM AND BELIEVED HER WHEN SHE SAID SHE WAS ON THE PILL

THE UPCOMING MONTH WILL BE THE LONGEST MONTH OF YOUR LIFE
Click to expand...

Guys,

Most people who fuck don't use condoms.

Sorry if you took all that sex ed bull seriously. Just stay away from skanks and done away.

Plus he's done her once without a condom, he's in balls deep, might as well go all the way
 
S

Symphonic

Member
FutureZombie said:
It's a sad realization when you learn you have better orgasms masturbating than having sex. I think it's because you have total control when you're masturbating; you can pause at the right times.
Click to expand...

Gonna go ahead and say no. If you find the right partner than sometimes they know what to do better than you do. Plus not being in control of it makes a thrill, for me at least.

Brera said:
Guys,

Most people who fuck don't use condoms.

Sorry if you took all that sex ed bull seriously. Just stay away from skanks and done away.

Plus he's done her once without a condom, he's in balls deep, might as well go all the way
Click to expand...

I pray for your sake that you have ancient Chinese levels of luck. Gonna go ahead and assume you believe all the girls that say they're clean immediately and without hesitation?
 
J

Jhoan

Member
When Heavy met Thick. The OP's begging for a dramatic reading. Any dramatic readers lurking that want to take a stab at it? The tofu part takes the cake.
 
R

raindoc

Member
Heavy said:
Forgot to mention what her vagina tasted/smelled like. It didn't really smell like anything while i was down there. When i was driving home i smelled my two fingers a bunch of times and there was a scent but it wasn't a bad scent but it's not a good one either, it's like the tofu of scents meaning tofu doesn't really taste good or bad it's just tofu.
Click to expand...

Batigol said:
At least you can say you lost your virginity to someone you liked and not drunken sex with your half sister on your dickhead dad's wedding night.
Click to expand...

Currygan said:
bud said:
if i had a hot sister, i'd at least sniff her panties.
Click to expand...
believe me i tried
Click to expand...

holy fuck @this thread, nothing can top these levels of awk...


StealthxHawk said:
That awkward moment when you read GAF at work and can't stand up...
Click to expand...

... I think you just did.
 
ElfArmy177

ElfArmy177

Member
Carnby said:
The part where Heavy talked about smelling his fingers reminded me of his thread about not bathing for a few months, itching himself, and smelling his fingers. Am I remember this correctly?
Click to expand...

I'll never understand how GAF remembers all this.
 
B

Broder Salsa

Banned
Batigol said:
No. half-sister. It barely even counts.

My dad had an affair with another woman. Practically had another family in secret. Well, one kid anyway.

Parents broke up, he left, moved to a different country. Few years later he gets back in contact inviting me to his wedding 'cause he wanted to make it official with this skank.

I go meet his 'family' and his daughter, who's 5 years younger than me. Basically talked to her all night 'cause my family disowned him and I didn't know anyone else.

Stayed at his house, got drunk had sex. The end. I could barely keep it up because my head was spinning. Literally a few dozen thrusts. Didn't talk about it again and I never mentioned it to my dad. They live in England now so I barely see them
Click to expand...


iABDW8y6PJg9D.gif


bud said:
if i had a hot sister, i'd at least sniff her panties.
Click to expand...

Bud. What wouldn't you sniff?
 
S

Symphonic

Member
Batigol said:
No. half-sister. It barely even counts.

My dad had an affair with another woman. Practically had another family in secret. Well, one kid anyway.

Parents broke up, he left, moved to a different country. Few years later he gets back in contact inviting me to his wedding 'cause he wanted to make it official with this skank.

I go meet his 'family' and his daughter, who's 5 years younger than me. Basically talked to her all night 'cause my family disowned him and I didn't know anyone else.

Stayed at his house, got drunk had sex. The end. I could barely keep it up because my head was spinning. Literally a few dozen thrusts. Didn't talk about it again and I never mentioned it to my dad. They live in England now so I barely see them
Click to expand...

Um...that at least 50% counts dude.

Shit.
 
S

Sho_Nuff82

Member
Brera said:
Guys,

Most people who fuck don't use condoms.

Sorry if you took all that sex ed bull seriously. Just stay away from skanks and done away.

Plus he's done her once without a condom, he's in balls deep, might as well go all the way
Click to expand...

Terrible, terrible advice.

LOL if he was banned for this.
 
N

No Love

Banned
shuri said:
I CANNOT BELIEVE YOU BANGED HER WITHOUT A CONDOM AND BELIEVED HER WHEN SHE SAID SHE WAS ON THE PILL

THE UPCOMING MONTH WILL BE THE LONGEST MONTH OF YOUR LIFE
Click to expand...

Dude be quiet. She might not have been ovulating, he came in her mouth, and she probably was on the pill.
 
D

dmr87

Member
StealthxHawk said:
That awkward moment when you read GAF at work and can't stand up...
Click to expand...

Carnby said:
The part where Heavy talked about smelling his fingers reminded me of his thread about not bathing for a few months, itching himself, and smelling his fingers. Am I remember this correctly?
Click to expand...

Heavy said:
When i was driving home i smelled my two fingers a bunch of times and there was a scent but it wasn't a bad scent but it's not a good one either, it's like the tofu of scents meaning tofu doesn't really taste good or bad it's just tofu.
Click to expand...

tears
 
B

Barack Lesnar

Banned
I have nothing else to give. Every detail i put in there, laid it all out. Hopefully it was at least a fun read. Yes, I am aware how sad I come off. I don't really care. Thanks for the congrats and all the advice which I will definitely use in the future.
 
K

kingocfs

Member
Brera said:
Guys,

Most people who fuck don't use condoms.

Sorry if you took all that sex ed bull seriously. Just stay away from skanks and done away.

Plus he's done her once without a condom, he's in balls deep, might as well go all the way
Click to expand...

Must be in high school.

Oh, and, congrats OP. Dat detail
 
F

Funky Papa

FUNK-Y-PPA-4
Heavy said:
I have nothing else to give. Every detail i put in there, laid it all out. Hopefully it was at least a fun read. Yes, I am aware how sad I come off. I don't really care. Thanks for the congrats and all the advice which I will definitely use in the future.
Click to expand...

Nearly every single person's first time (unless you are the son of some Saudi prince, I guess) is lame as shit.

Worry not.
 
ElfArmy177

ElfArmy177

Member
Heavy said:
I have nothing else to give. Every detail i put in there, laid it all out. Hopefully it was at least a fun read. Yes, I am aware how sad I came off. I don't really care. Thanks for the congrats and all the advice which I will definitely use in the future.
Click to expand...

.
 
S

Symphonic

Member
Heavy said:
I have nothing else to give. Every detail i put in there, laid it all out. Hopefully it was at least a fun read. Yes, I am aware how sad I come off. I don't really care. Thanks for the congrats and all the advice which I will definitely use in the future.
Click to expand...

You're not sad dude!

Just weird. No shame.
 
ElfArmy177

ElfArmy177

Member
Heavy said:
I have nothing else to give. Every detail i put in there, laid it all out. Hopefully it was at least a fun read. Yes, I am aware how sad I come off. I don't really care. Thanks for the congrats and all the advice which I will definitely use in the future.
Click to expand...

at least you don't bone your sister. There are some positives here.
 
B

Broder Salsa

Banned
bud said:
my brother's underwear

please understand
Click to expand...

London FC has just won 2-3 over Arsenal City at the Emriates, you're job is to clean up after both football teams. You find that in the Chelsea locker room, both Branislav Ivanovic and Eden Hazard has left their sweaty underwear, still moist from the hard work they had to do to penetrate the likes of Kos and Per and hold down the always dangerous Nicklas Bendtner, they are right there, there's spots in them that are clearly the result of other fluids than sweat too, but they are right there in the middle of the locker room.

Do you sniff them?

Y/N?

iEHbBlO5QFvSF.gif
 
B

Barack Lesnar

Banned
Carnby said:
The part where Heavy talked about smelling his fingers reminded me of his thread about not bathing for a few months, itching himself, and smelling his fingers. Am I remember this correctly?
Click to expand...

Correction, it was a few days not a few months. I pretty much shower every day, longest I'll go without is like a day and a half. Just for whatever reason those few days in a row I didn't, had no school, no job, just sat around playing games on my pc, wasn't a positive time of life.
 
P

pizza dog

Banned
Congrats on the sex OP. Congrats on discovering whiskey dick.

Gunna get the silkiest tofu I can find for dinner tonight.
 
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