bengraven
Member
...or has it just given the whole world access to our family's dirty laundry? I swear I've never had so much family drama in my life, in ALL of my families (dad's side, mom's side, stepfather's side, mother-in-law's side, father-in-law's side, sister's ex-boyfriend's side...) and social media seems to be either the case or the fuel for the fire.
I don't think it's just my family, but I'm curious if anyone else is having this issue.
I'm going to list some personal examples, please don't think I'm doing this for LiveJournal-age because everything I mention that personally happened are resolved and I don't need advice:
- The Jealous Not-Mentions: My grandmother is very sick and in the hospital. My sister took her kids and went up to see her. During this visit, she took a picture of her son with my grandfather, the kid's great-grandfather. She posts it on facebook: "loves his grandpa!". Now her ex-boyfriend/baby daddy's father is causing drama, calling people names, etc, due to her not acknowledging the letter "S" that should have come after "grandpa". Because she should pay tribute to them all, even though this is a harmless, casual picture of just one. CHILDISH.
On that same story, 8 years ago my son was born. My father surprised me by flying down 2000 miles to see us while we were still in the hospital. It was the best day of my life and I was so grateful to have members of my own family there for the moment. I posted on my Myspace how happy I was that dad could come down. I mean, dude spent 2300 on a last minute plane ticket to florida over spring fucking break just to see his first grandson. So my mother-in-law's best friend from childhood saw my gratitutude and informed my MIL who suddenly decided she wanted to cut off all ties to me. "You are an ungrateful piece of shit," she said, her voice breaking and warbling, "I fucking hate you you fucking user". She said "what about all the things WE'VE done for you over the last few months?" I...I appreciate that and I tell you all the time. "But when you want the world to know who's the best, you bring up your fucking father who lives 2000 miles away and barely gives a shit to come see you except if you're having a kid". That's a true fucking story. She later told me she was jealous because she felt that I loved him more than her (um, he's my dad) and that THE LITERAL WHOLE WORLD COULD READ MY MYSPACE. She didn't understand the internet and thought that the second I posted something, it was like I was appearing as a guest on her favorite show, Regis and Kelly. She thought there were instantly millions of people around the world who had their cell phones pinged with what I posted and that I was going to be famous and she wasn't going to get anything out of it.
- The Political Disappointments - "All these years, I didn't realize you were Democrat. I've loved and cared about you and didn't realize you were going behind my back and supporting terrorists and my guns being taken away." This happened to a friend of mine. Family, friends, who lose contact or break apart because social media reveals their political beliefs. This friend was literally blacklisted from his uncle, aunt, and little cousins. I had a bit of that - my uncle no longer associates with me because of the Sandy Hook shootings as well as his thought that all Muslims are terrorists - he constantly posts "proof" that they are. I still talk to him all the time, though he gives me very short responses, because I'm a fucking adult and I don't care what he believes in, I love the stupid son of a bitch. I also personally am TO FAULT for this, because I sometimes have met people, really liked them, then found out they were against my beliefs and kind of lost some of that interest in them I used to have.
- The Dead Beefs Rise From R'lyeh - remember that time you did something, but the person you did it to forgave you and everyone moved on? Thanks social media, for reminding them of that thing at 1am in the morning because of something you posted, so they'll reference it again, even after promising to never talk about it again. I've seen quite a few of these on r/cringepics which should be renamed r/cringyfacebookposts since that's what the thing has become.
- Why Didn't You Add Me - made famous by the Facebook episode of South Park. By now most people understand you don't want to send them a wrench in Carville or whatever shit is new. No one is heartbroken, at least in my groups. I have had people upset because I haven't added them to Twitter. Twitter was my last social group that was free of family and friends. I could post there anything I wanted without worrying I was going to upset someone's religion, sex, political group, race - well at least those someone's I cared about. So the most uber-conservative person literally cornered me at Thanksgiving one year, acting very passive-aggressive about how upset she was I wouldn't add her to Twitter. The Twitter where I talk back to Richard Dawkins and give virtual high fives to atheist tweets by Ricky Gervais. I tried to explain that I wanted ONE place to have some personal private space (LOL - that's ironic). Didn't fly. I added her anyway. She has never brought up my posts, but for some reason we don't talk as much...
I would love to cut out social media, but like I said, I live 2000 miles away and my only blood family is my kid, so I keep it around. I also use it to keep up on movie news, talk with people on specific groups like writing organizations, and other things. But I swear, if I lived back home, I'd get rid of it.
Connecting our worlds has been more trouble than it's worth and I think it's only going to get worse.
(again, not looking for advice, everything I posted was just for examples to see if you guys could post your own examples. I'm trying to create discussion, not venting any issues)
I don't think it's just my family, but I'm curious if anyone else is having this issue.
I'm going to list some personal examples, please don't think I'm doing this for LiveJournal-age because everything I mention that personally happened are resolved and I don't need advice:
- The Jealous Not-Mentions: My grandmother is very sick and in the hospital. My sister took her kids and went up to see her. During this visit, she took a picture of her son with my grandfather, the kid's great-grandfather. She posts it on facebook: "loves his grandpa!". Now her ex-boyfriend/baby daddy's father is causing drama, calling people names, etc, due to her not acknowledging the letter "S" that should have come after "grandpa". Because she should pay tribute to them all, even though this is a harmless, casual picture of just one. CHILDISH.
On that same story, 8 years ago my son was born. My father surprised me by flying down 2000 miles to see us while we were still in the hospital. It was the best day of my life and I was so grateful to have members of my own family there for the moment. I posted on my Myspace how happy I was that dad could come down. I mean, dude spent 2300 on a last minute plane ticket to florida over spring fucking break just to see his first grandson. So my mother-in-law's best friend from childhood saw my gratitutude and informed my MIL who suddenly decided she wanted to cut off all ties to me. "You are an ungrateful piece of shit," she said, her voice breaking and warbling, "I fucking hate you you fucking user". She said "what about all the things WE'VE done for you over the last few months?" I...I appreciate that and I tell you all the time. "But when you want the world to know who's the best, you bring up your fucking father who lives 2000 miles away and barely gives a shit to come see you except if you're having a kid". That's a true fucking story. She later told me she was jealous because she felt that I loved him more than her (um, he's my dad) and that THE LITERAL WHOLE WORLD COULD READ MY MYSPACE. She didn't understand the internet and thought that the second I posted something, it was like I was appearing as a guest on her favorite show, Regis and Kelly. She thought there were instantly millions of people around the world who had their cell phones pinged with what I posted and that I was going to be famous and she wasn't going to get anything out of it.
- The Political Disappointments - "All these years, I didn't realize you were Democrat. I've loved and cared about you and didn't realize you were going behind my back and supporting terrorists and my guns being taken away." This happened to a friend of mine. Family, friends, who lose contact or break apart because social media reveals their political beliefs. This friend was literally blacklisted from his uncle, aunt, and little cousins. I had a bit of that - my uncle no longer associates with me because of the Sandy Hook shootings as well as his thought that all Muslims are terrorists - he constantly posts "proof" that they are. I still talk to him all the time, though he gives me very short responses, because I'm a fucking adult and I don't care what he believes in, I love the stupid son of a bitch. I also personally am TO FAULT for this, because I sometimes have met people, really liked them, then found out they were against my beliefs and kind of lost some of that interest in them I used to have.
- The Dead Beefs Rise From R'lyeh - remember that time you did something, but the person you did it to forgave you and everyone moved on? Thanks social media, for reminding them of that thing at 1am in the morning because of something you posted, so they'll reference it again, even after promising to never talk about it again. I've seen quite a few of these on r/cringepics which should be renamed r/cringyfacebookposts since that's what the thing has become.
- Why Didn't You Add Me - made famous by the Facebook episode of South Park. By now most people understand you don't want to send them a wrench in Carville or whatever shit is new. No one is heartbroken, at least in my groups. I have had people upset because I haven't added them to Twitter. Twitter was my last social group that was free of family and friends. I could post there anything I wanted without worrying I was going to upset someone's religion, sex, political group, race - well at least those someone's I cared about. So the most uber-conservative person literally cornered me at Thanksgiving one year, acting very passive-aggressive about how upset she was I wouldn't add her to Twitter. The Twitter where I talk back to Richard Dawkins and give virtual high fives to atheist tweets by Ricky Gervais. I tried to explain that I wanted ONE place to have some personal private space (LOL - that's ironic). Didn't fly. I added her anyway. She has never brought up my posts, but for some reason we don't talk as much...
I would love to cut out social media, but like I said, I live 2000 miles away and my only blood family is my kid, so I keep it around. I also use it to keep up on movie news, talk with people on specific groups like writing organizations, and other things. But I swear, if I lived back home, I'd get rid of it.
Connecting our worlds has been more trouble than it's worth and I think it's only going to get worse.
(again, not looking for advice, everything I posted was just for examples to see if you guys could post your own examples. I'm trying to create discussion, not venting any issues)