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I got hit with a heavy proposal tonight...

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olimario

Banned
The mother of my Godson took me to dinner tonight to discuss something. I had no clue what it was going in, so naturaly I was a tad nervous. Over dinner she told me that she and her husband were making out their will and asked me if I would become gaurdian of their child if, God forbid, they were ever to die. She said her parents were too old to take care of a new child and that I was their best, most trusted, and responsable friend.

She's giving me time to think about it, as expected, but it's such a heavy question. She had also mentioned the option of refusing now and having them revise the will when I'm a bit older and further along in school and more sure of where my future is heading.

Still, absolutely wild stuff. I desperately need somebody elses take on this.
 

shuri

Banned
Refuse, too much troubles. Friends or not, youre too fucking young. Do you see yourself taking care of their baby kids if they die in the next 2 years? Live your life, dont live for the others.
 

AlphaSnake

...and that, kids, was the first time I sucked a dick for crack
You and Lois Lane Bonsworth the Third should be able to handle it.

Edit: Shuriken...uh, they're not dying tomorrow, ya know?
 

Wellington

BAAAALLLINNN'
Ever seen the ep of King of Queens that deals with the same question? :lol Hilarious stuff.

Ultimately, it's a question of whether or not this will be best for the kid, not anything about how good a parent you would make, etc. My stance? If you are an active part of the child's life while the parents are alive, and the kid could be happy and grow up well adjusted living with you in the case something unfortunate does happen, then you should do it.
 

olimario

Banned
Naked Shuriken said:
Refuse, too much troubles. Friends or not, youre too fucking young. Do you see yourself taking care of their baby kids if they die in the next 2 years? Live your life, dont live for the others.

I don't understand what age has to do with it as much as situation does. I know that I probably should put my acceptance on hold until I finish with school, but I would hate to have that burden put on somebody else. I don't think I would see it as a burden like her retired parents might or like her older, depressed brother might.

I'm capable of taking care of a child, but it would distract from school for sure. Of course the likelyhood of them both dying within the next 4 years is slim.

Gek54 said:
Who the fuck asks a kid to be a gaurdian of their own kid?

I don't need this, Gek. I understand my internet persona is seen as juvenile, but I'm actually a very responsable, caring, and selfless person. I'm 19 and I'm more than capable of taking care of a child if I need to.
 

Socreges

Banned
Gek54 said:
Who the fuck asks a kid to be a gaurdian of their own kid?
Hey, he's a good Christian boy!

Which is exactly why they should reconsider. He'll only corrupt the child's mind.
 

ChumsGum

Banned
Do these people have assets that they can leave to you? I mean, you are gonna take care of their child. At least have them leave you their savings, equity on their home, retirement funds, something.
 
As long as you have a stable job, a wide network of other reatives and friends you should seriously consider it . If not you should atleast be able to tell them honestly why you can't.

Yeah I also IAWTP Chum
 

Lathentar

Looking for Pants
ChumsGum said:
Do these people have assets that they can leave to you? I mean, you are gonna take care of their child. At least have them leave you their savings, equity on their home, retirement funds, something.
This man is a genius. You could do it under these conditions.
 

olimario

Banned
Gek54 said:
Who the fuck asks a kid to be a gaurdian of their own kid?

I don't need this, Gek. I understand my internet persona is seen as juvenile, but I'm actually a very responsable, caring, and selfless person. I'm 19 and I'm more than capable of taking care of a child if I need to.


Do these people have assets that they can leave to you? I mean, you are gonna take care of their child. At least have them leave you their savings, equity on their home, retirement funds, something.

She just won a settlement because of a huge hospital mishap that nearly killed her and she's about to invest in a $200k house. That would be left to me as well, fully paid. Her son (my Godson) would also have college tuition covered.

As long as you have a stable job, a wide network of other reatives and friends you should seriously consider it . If not you should atleast be able to tell them honestly why you can't.

I don't have a stable job, but I have full finacial support as long as I'm in school. All of her relatives and most of my relatives live within 20 miles of me.
 

DCX

DCX
ChumsGum said:
Do these people have assets that they can leave to you? I mean, you are gonna take care of their child. At least have them leave you their savings, equity on their home, retirement funds, something.
I agree with the message.

DCX
 

AlphaSnake

...and that, kids, was the first time I sucked a dick for crack
Wait...wait, wait. You'd be getting a house of this deal too?

You're having second doubts? Seriously? :\
 

Gek54

Junior Member
olimario said:
I don't need this, Gek. I understand my internet persona is seen as juvenile, but I'm actually a very responsable, caring, and selfless person. I'm 19 and I'm more than capable of taking care of a child if I need to.

I was thinking more on the level of how could parents feel good about burdening you to be the gaurdian of their kid before you have been through college and situated your self in a position where you would comfortable taking up such a task. I wouldnt think it would be fair to you or their kid.
 

AlphaSnake

...and that, kids, was the first time I sucked a dick for crack
BTW: I thought this thread was going to be about a proposal for a threesome. It sure was headed that way with the first 3 sentences.
 

olimario

Banned
AlphaSnake said:
Wait...wait, wait. You'd be getting a house of this deal too?

You're having second doubts? Seriously? :\

The house isn't being used as an incentive, Alpah. The fact that I would get it is completely unrelated to my situation. I need to know if it's the right thing to do at this juncture in my life. I still need to finish college and potentially taking care of a child through college won't be the easiest thing in the world, though I would have family help.
 

Memles

Member
I think that, while I fully understand why you feel like you need input on this subject considering the levity of the proposal, this is something that you very simply need to decide yourself. This is a very personal thing; we cannot judge if you feel ready to take on this responsibility. Although it is likely that this is simply a precaution and you can only hope you won't ever have to take on that responsibility, you have to ask yourself if you will be willing to, at some point, put your life on hold for this child. You may end up living miles away, and if something happens you may have to uproot yourself to go back where you could support this child.

It is a tough question...so take your time, and decide whether you want what some may view as a burden,
 

olimario

Banned
AlphaSnake said:
BTW: I thought this thread was going to be about a proposal for a threesome. It sure was headed that way with the first 3 sentences.

I didn't once assume that. She tried to have sex with me when I was an innocent Christian freshman in high school and she was a maniac satanist.

Oh, and your game shipped out today. First Class. 2-5 days.
 

evil ways

Member
Worst case scenario, you accept thinking they won't die so soon and the day after they make out the will they take their own lives.
 

Crow357

Member
Well, I think the woman that asked you, holds you in high esteem. You should feel honored that someone thinks highly enough of you, to ask you to take care of their child.

That being said, you should ask yourself if you're ready to take care of a child and is that something you would enjoy? I'm 43. I've never had children and I've never wanted any, but hey, that's me and I have no regrets.

Perhaps it might help for you (if you have the time) to ask some foster parents how they feel about taking care of children that arn't theirs?
 

AlphaSnake

...and that, kids, was the first time I sucked a dick for crack
olimario said:
I didn't once assume that. She tried to have sex with me when I was an innocent Christian freshman in high school and she was a maniac satanist.

That's hot. :eek:
 

olimario

Banned
Memles said:
I think that, while I fully understand why you feel like you need input on this subject considering the levity of the proposal, this is something that you very simply need to decide yourself. This is a very personal thing; we cannot judge if you feel ready to take on this responsibility. Although it is likely that this is simply a precaution and you can only hope you won't ever have to take on that responsibility, you have to ask yourself if you will be willing to, at some point, put your life on hold for this child. You may end up living miles away, and if something happens you may have to uproot yourself to go back where you could support this child.

It is a tough question...so take your time, and decide whether you want what some may view as a burden,


I just can't see myself refusing and making this child a burden to somebody else where it wouldn't be a burden to me. I'm leaning towards yes, because I think I could take my time through college if I needed to. The child really does come first and I would do anything to ensure his life turned out well.

Thanks for the advice, Memles.
 

Gek54

Junior Member
Why are they not asking your parents which it sounds like who would be raising the kid if in fact something did happen before you were out of school?
 

olimario

Banned
Crow357 said:
Well, I think the woman that asked you, holds you in high esteem. You should feel honored that someone thinks highly enough of you, to ask you to take care of their child.

That being said, you should ask yourself if you're ready to take care of a child and is that something you would enjoy? I'm 43. I've never had children and I've never wanted any, but hey, that's me and I have no regrets.

Perhaps it might help for you (if you have the time) to ask some foster parents how they feel about taking care of children that arn't theirs?


It was very flattering and very surreal, the whole talk over dinner. I think that, while I'm ready to go to school, get married, and have children of my own, that I would be up to the task of taking care of a child as soon as today if needed. It's just a question of if I'll have the means to take care of this child, really.

I suppose I need to play out scenerios with not only her family, but with mine to see how much support they would be willing to lend if this were to ever happen.
 

Gek54

Junior Member
Kerry.gif


:lol Let it go.
 

olimario

Banned
Gek54 said:
Why are they not asking your parents which it sounds like who would be raising the kid if in fact something did happen before you were out of school?

I would put school on the backburner if I accepted their proposal and if I was in school at the time of their death. My parents would most likely be the source of finances, but I would be the primary caregiver.


She is 19, her husband is 29, and the child is 3 months.


Matlock said:
So wait, if you raise the kid--will he be a high school dropout as well?

Classy. I didn't drop out and I'm at the same point in my life where I would have been had I graduated. A year into college the fact that I got a GED won't matter.
 

Miguel

Member
Desperado/Olimario: are either of you in Katy?

Has Katy been MENTIONED AT ALL in this thread before this post?

katywtf9vw.jpg
 

olimario

Banned
Miguel said:
Desperado/Olimario: are either of you in Katy?

Has Katy been MENTIONED AT ALL in this thread before this post?

katywtf9vw.jpg

I don't believe it has and no I don't. How strange. It knows where you live.
My ads mention a TV and Halo 2, for some reason.
 

kevm3

Member
Is your girlfriend cool with this? Your own parents?

Raising children are expensive. That $200,000 house may seem like a lot now, but when it comes to raising that child, money will disappear a lot faster than you planned. If you DO raise the child, be aware that you may have to provide transportation for him/her, possibly buy the kid a car, pay for the insurance, MEDICAL costs, buy clothes, provide modes of entertainment for the child, etc. etc. Inflation tends to make things more expensive, so be aware that that $200,000 house and whatever else they plan to offer you may not be as much in the future. (Fortunately, the house may very well appreciate in value over time, but is the house valued at reasonable levels or bubble levels?) And the crazy thing is, you won't have that $200,000 in CASH, so you will have to pay all of that out of your own income, unless you sell the house. Also, if that's the major incentive, could you see yourself living in the house? Is that where you'd be comfortable settling down? Financially, there are A LOT of hidden costs. I'm not telling you to look at this as a business deal and focus on the profit-making possibilities, but I'm seeing if you're aware of the financial implifications of this situation. Not having the situation under wraps will not only make YOUR life worse, but the child's as well.

Emotionally, there will be some potential problems as well. How does the child act now? A problem child? A laid-back kid that gets outstanding grades? See how your girlfriend reacts to the question. Will she be cool with taking in someone who isn't her own chlid? Are you ready to sacrifice your freedom and 'fuck around' time if the child comes into your possession early on? That means less game-playing time, less wild adventures with your girlfriend, no more late nights out with your friends. Basically, you'll have to be a 'grown-up' and we all know how fun that can be. You'll have to hold down a job with steady income and a lot of that money will be going into that child's expenses. That means you'll have to wait out on that big

Don't just do this because it's the 'good thing to do.' There's a lot of serious shit you're getting yourself into if you take on this proposition. Think over every angle you can before even THINKING of saying yes, and then repeat the process about 10 more times. This isn't like simply choosing between an X-Box and a Gamecube, which I'm very sure you're aware of. Saying yes will TOTALLY alter your lifestyle, and I'm just making sure you're taking into account all of the consequences of that action.
 

Fatghost

Gas Guzzler
Oli, if you do it, do it with the stipulation that she and her husband both have life insurance on themselves with a sufficient amount that this child would not be a financial burden for you.

Their insurance policies should be made out with their child as beneficiary and you as trustee. This means that if they die when the child is over 18 (in most jurisdictions anyway) you are not involved, but if they die when the child is still a minor, you control the money, and you can use it on behalf of the child.
 

AlphaSnake

...and that, kids, was the first time I sucked a dick for crack
Ahahaha, wtf? She's 19? Damn, I thought she was like in her 30s-40s.
 

Fatghost

Gas Guzzler
Desperado said:
wow...and they're writing their will now?? do they plan on going into espionage or something?


As soon as you have either:

A family

or

Any kind of property, money, or asset, you NEED a will.

Even if you're under the age of 18. Not only is it the responsible thing to do, your estate will be assraped without a will and the people you leave behind could very well NOT get a single piece of your estate. It's never too soon to have a will.
 

olimario

Banned
kevm3 said:
Is your girlfriend cool with this? Your own parents?

Raising children are expensive. That $200,000 house may seem like a lot now, but when it comes to raising that child, money will disappear a lot faster than you planned. If you DO raise the child, be aware that you may have to provide transportation for him/her, possibly buy the kid a car, pay for the insurance, MEDICAL costs, buy clothes, provide modes of entertainment for the child, etc. etc. Inflation tends to make things more expensive, so be aware that that $200,000 house and whatever else they plan to offer you may not be as much in the future. (Fortunately, the house may very well appreciate in value over time, but is the house valued at reasonable levels or bubble levels?) And the crazy thing is, you won't have that $200,000 in CASH, so you will have to pay all of that out of your own income, unless you sell the house. Also, if that's the major incentive, could you see yourself living in the house? Is that where you'd be comfortable settling down? Financially, there are A LOT of hidden costs. I'm not telling you to look at this as a business deal and focus on the profit-making possibilities, but I'm seeing if you're aware of the financial implifications of this situation. Not having the situation under wraps will not only make YOUR life worse, but the child's as well.

Emotionally, there will be some potential problems as well. How does the child act now? A problem child? A laid-back kid that gets outstanding grades? See how your girlfriend reacts to the question. Will she be cool with taking in someone who isn't her own chlid? Are you ready to sacrifice your freedom and 'fuck around' time if the child comes into your possession early on? That means less game-playing time, less wild adventures with your girlfriend, no more late nights out with your friends. Basically, you'll have to be a 'grown-up' and we all know how fun that can be. You'll have to hold down a job with steady income and a lot of that money will be going into that child's expenses. That means you'll have to wait out on that big

Don't just do this because it's the 'good thing to do.' There's a lot of serious shit you're getting yourself into if you take on this proposition. Think over every angle you can before even THINKING of saying yes, and then repeat the process about 10 more times. This isn't like simply choosing between an X-Box and a Gamecube, which I'm very sure you're aware of. Saying yes will TOTALLY alter your lifestyle, and I'm just making sure you're taking into account all of the consequences of that action.

*saves*
This is what I was looking for that I'm sure I wouldn't get thinking on my own. Thank you so much, kevm. I'm ready at any time to sacrifice my social life, but the financial side of it is a bit more of a grey area. I'll need to talk this over extensively with my parents and with her parents to see what kind of support they would be willing to lend in a worse case scenario.

And I could see myself living in this house and it's a brand new brick home, so I'm sure the value will remain *>= the initial cost.

Oli, if you do it, do it with the stipulation that she and her husband both have life insurance on themselves with a sufficient amount that this child would not be a financial burden for you.

Their insurance policies should be made out with their child as beneficiary and you as trustee. This means that if they die when the child is over 18 (in most jurisdictions anyway) you are not involved, but if they die when the child is still a minor, you control the money, and you can use it on behalf of the child.

They both have life insurance and they purchased life insurance for their child, too. They are working with people to create their will, so I'm sure everything would be in place for me to be financially secure if I were to become Gaurdian.
 

Desperado

Member
Fatghost28 said:
As soon as you have either:

A family

or

Any kind of property, money, or asset, you NEED a will.

Even if you're under the age of 18. Not only is it the responsible thing to do, your estate will be assraped without a will and the people you leave behind could very well NOT get a single piece of your estate. It's never too soon to have a will.

heh, I wonder if my parents [mid-40's] know about this...
 
Desperado said:
wow...and they're writing their will now?? do they plan on going into espionage or something?

lots of people are writing their wills at an earlier age now. personally, i'm asked about my will everytime i enter the hospital(it's one of the first questions upon being admitted -- dunno if that's a good or bad thing :lol ) still haven't written it, though.
 

olimario

Banned
Incognito said:
lots of people are writing their wills at an earlier age now. personally, i'm asked about my will everytime i enter the hospital(it's one of the first questions upon being admitted -- dunno if that's a good or bad thing :lol ) still haven't written it, though.

You seem more in a position to than most, Lonestar. Why haven't you?
 
olimario said:
You seem more in a position to than most, Lonestar. Why haven't you?

honestly, because i haven't really just sat down and done it. my doctors press me to do it, but eh. it's not that i'm afraid of facing my impending doom, but seems like a lot of writing.. :lol
 
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