Count Dookkake
Member
The man who put "dastardly anal smell" into my lexicon can't just give up.
Please, get help. There are many who share your struggle.
Please, get help. There are many who share your struggle.
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I'm giving in, ruined, tired, I think I'll be dead soon
- Thread starter cryptic
- Start date
- Status
OP says he'll be 25 soon in the OP
The Lamonster
Member
ha, yeah I also realized this was the "dastardly anal smell" guy
hoping he posts soon
kaiju
Member
OP, I'll tell you the story of the guy who jumped off the GG bridge, but survived. His one thought after he jumped was that he wanted to LIVE. All of the thoughts he had of suicide instantly disappeared once he jumped. He survived the impact, and was kept afloat by seals that were circling him underwater.
Don't make that same mistake OP. Help is there for you if you want it.
Don't make that same mistake OP. Help is there for you if you want it.
N7Commander95
Member
Please OP don't give up, and call that line x
TheContact
Member
Cryptic, your life may not be all roses and fairy tales but there's people who have it way worse than you and don't want to kill themselves. You're way too young to have these kind of thoughts because you've barely lived life. Things will get better for you I promise. Call the suicide hotline for help at least before you do something stupid you won't have a chance to regret. You only get one chance. Hope you get these message
My best friend committed suicide 2 years ago. At first I thought he didn't trust me enough to talk to me or maybe I did something wrong and caused it. I now realize a bit better that he was just scared and felt hopeless no matter who he talked to, and it was up to him and he chose not to. I was pretty upset at first, but now it isn't so bad, I do miss him every day though. I hope you're not being serious op, but something like this isn't something to joke about and really hits me in a big way so I will act accordingly. If you can find some one, ANYONE to talk to, please do so. If you think nobody will miss you, you're wrong. There are people who love and care about you.
DXLelouch153
Banned
suicide is never the answer OP
i have asbergers as well and autism
thankfully i dont give a shit about what people think of me so i dont get depressed
anyways call the damn number and get help
i have asbergers as well and autism
thankfully i dont give a shit about what people think of me so i dont get depressed
anyways call the damn number and get help
Wreck-It Ralph
Member
Life is what you make it. It can suck. It can be hard. But you can find something to live for. Even if it's something as stupid as, "I want to see Age of Ultron," or, "I want to play this upcoming game." Shit like that is what keeps me going sometimes.
Honestly, I've called before, and I found them quite useless.
Their response when I said I was depressed because I had no friends: "Get out and make some friends!" Yeah, because it's that fucking easy when you're as introverted and socially awkward as me.
Their response when I said I was depressed because I've never been loved by a woman and it's unlikely that it'll ever happen: "Don't worry, there's someone for everyone! You'll find someone eventually!" Horseshit. It was horseshit when I heard it from other people, and it was horseshit when I heard it from them. Plenty of people die alone. There's not somebody for everybody. It's only become increasingly more apparent as I've grown older that no women want anything to do with me.
I guess it couldn't hurt for OP to call them, but don't expect miracles. He'll probably only hear the same things everyone else has told him before. Nobody can make OP decide he has something to live for. Only he can do that.
Honestly, I've called before, and I found them quite useless.
Their response when I said I was depressed because I had no friends: "Get out and make some friends!" Yeah, because it's that fucking easy when you're as introverted and socially awkward as me.
Their response when I said I was depressed because I've never been loved by a woman and it's unlikely that it'll ever happen: "Don't worry, there's someone for everyone! You'll find someone eventually!" Horseshit. It was horseshit when I heard it from other people, and it was horseshit when I heard it from them. Plenty of people die alone. There's not somebody for everybody. It's only become increasingly more apparent as I've grown older that no women want anything to do with me.
I guess it couldn't hurt for OP to call them, but don't expect miracles. He'll probably only hear the same things everyone else has told him before. Nobody can make OP decide he has something to live for. Only he can do that.
Please Cryptic, don't give up. For all the struggle you had to endure you have proven to be a fighter. I have my own history with depression, though I know asbergers is worse, I strongly believe a person like you that got so far and hasn't ended it yet shouldn't end it this way. This is not your destiny, you fucking read it? Not your destiny! You have decades in front of you, decades where you can focus your beautiful potential into your metamorphosis. A metamorphosis that will make you the person you want to be, that will give you the life you longed so long for full of love and the appreciation you deserve. Please don't betray yourself because despite all those fucking hardships this world is constantly throwing at us we can not let this bitch have the last word to say! I believe in you so please don't prove us both wrong!
InfiniteBento
Member
Please don't do this, OP. We are here for you.
Call the hotline and please don't give up.
Call the hotline and please don't give up.
Hey Cryptic,
Lots of people are reading this, and are listening to you. Others may very well be in the same boat; please try to set a positive example! I've come across several of your threads, but this is the first time I'm posting in one of your discussions. I want you to be clear that any discussions on NeoGAF is increasingly difficult and will never compare to a face-to-face. If this thread was a round table, you'd see a lot of supportive body language. There are trained professionals who make it their duty to listen, so please go seek some of them out - it'll be a long process, but I think it will be worth it. I think you need to be heard.
Many of us want to help you too, will that be okay? Will you be open to us, as we will be open to you?
First off, I want to say thank you for sharing your story. Thank you for expressing your frustrations and telling us how overwhelming everything is. It truly sounds like a difficult situation. I don't want you to focus on the distant past right now, let's look into the immediate past. You said that you hurt someone that you wanted to be friends with. I'm sorry to hear that, and you sound really upset about it. Now, do whatever it takes to get the sadness, rage, anger, and disappointment out of your system. Preferably something that's harmless. Sometimes I lock myself in my car and scream until my throat's sore. Once that's done, let's look at some constructive ways to move on. We're on a video game message board, so granted you're the type with many invested interests. Try to focus on one thing this year. Last year for me was checking out museums - it's super cool to expand your knowledge about other cultures and historical things. The year before that was all about concerts and comedy shows (I haven't gone to one since that year) - I went to watch a bunch, and you'll be surprised to know that some of them are cheap! Like 5 to 20 dollars cheap. Check our your local pub for some live entertainment, sometimes they're even free! Main thing is to focus on what you're doing, not the other people in your immediate surroundings. Focus on the song, or the punchline, or the million year old shoe behind the glass exhibit. Entertainment has existed for as long as recorded history; it takes us to another place, it motivates us, it makes our imagination go wild (for better and for worse). I just hope you'll find something that's really worthwhile.
You said that you also write a little bit. Now, I'll be honest and say that I don't know what you've written, or what type of writing it is, but have you considered publishing any of it? You can sell your stories on Amazon. You can write movie reviews for local newspapers. There's a lot of communities that encourages writers from any skill level. Have you heard of National Novel Writing Month? That's in November, but their message boards are always open, and you'll even come across some unique stories (and supporters who will gladly read your stories): nanowrimo.org/
But hey, we understand that there's a limit to being constructive. Getting a job is difficult, for sure. The truth is, no one is locked into a single industry. My father has switched careers plenty of times, and he came to my country when he was about your age without knowing a lick of english. Don't be afraid in searching for other jobs; it might be worth it to send a bunch of resumes around. Us friendly folk at NeoGAF will take a look at your resume and help hone it for something you desire.
At the moment your emotions are mixed and tensely high. And that's okay, but I want say one more thing. Have you heard of the Black Swan theory? It's the summary of our real world history where we thought that all swans were white. We had empirical evidence of course: around the world was this bird, it's beautiful, and it has always been white. Not until we finally reached Australia did we finally discover a black swan. This shattered our sensibilities, it changed our history books, our encyclopedias, our understanding of the species. So the theory states that we can never predict the unpredictable, yet... it is only the unpredictable, when finally announced, that changes our world dramatically. It is the unforeseen things that change our world forever. Now, this all ties together with rare events, the uncertainty of things, and accidents that do good and bad. You can never be prepared enough for a "black swan" event.
That moment, that success story, the one that will dramatically change your life for the better is out there... and it starts with you. Please live.
Lots of people are reading this, and are listening to you. Others may very well be in the same boat; please try to set a positive example! I've come across several of your threads, but this is the first time I'm posting in one of your discussions. I want you to be clear that any discussions on NeoGAF is increasingly difficult and will never compare to a face-to-face. If this thread was a round table, you'd see a lot of supportive body language. There are trained professionals who make it their duty to listen, so please go seek some of them out - it'll be a long process, but I think it will be worth it. I think you need to be heard.
Many of us want to help you too, will that be okay? Will you be open to us, as we will be open to you?
First off, I want to say thank you for sharing your story. Thank you for expressing your frustrations and telling us how overwhelming everything is. It truly sounds like a difficult situation. I don't want you to focus on the distant past right now, let's look into the immediate past. You said that you hurt someone that you wanted to be friends with. I'm sorry to hear that, and you sound really upset about it. Now, do whatever it takes to get the sadness, rage, anger, and disappointment out of your system. Preferably something that's harmless. Sometimes I lock myself in my car and scream until my throat's sore. Once that's done, let's look at some constructive ways to move on. We're on a video game message board, so granted you're the type with many invested interests. Try to focus on one thing this year. Last year for me was checking out museums - it's super cool to expand your knowledge about other cultures and historical things. The year before that was all about concerts and comedy shows (I haven't gone to one since that year) - I went to watch a bunch, and you'll be surprised to know that some of them are cheap! Like 5 to 20 dollars cheap. Check our your local pub for some live entertainment, sometimes they're even free! Main thing is to focus on what you're doing, not the other people in your immediate surroundings. Focus on the song, or the punchline, or the million year old shoe behind the glass exhibit. Entertainment has existed for as long as recorded history; it takes us to another place, it motivates us, it makes our imagination go wild (for better and for worse). I just hope you'll find something that's really worthwhile.
You said that you also write a little bit. Now, I'll be honest and say that I don't know what you've written, or what type of writing it is, but have you considered publishing any of it? You can sell your stories on Amazon. You can write movie reviews for local newspapers. There's a lot of communities that encourages writers from any skill level. Have you heard of National Novel Writing Month? That's in November, but their message boards are always open, and you'll even come across some unique stories (and supporters who will gladly read your stories): nanowrimo.org/
But hey, we understand that there's a limit to being constructive. Getting a job is difficult, for sure. The truth is, no one is locked into a single industry. My father has switched careers plenty of times, and he came to my country when he was about your age without knowing a lick of english. Don't be afraid in searching for other jobs; it might be worth it to send a bunch of resumes around. Us friendly folk at NeoGAF will take a look at your resume and help hone it for something you desire.
At the moment your emotions are mixed and tensely high. And that's okay, but I want say one more thing. Have you heard of the Black Swan theory? It's the summary of our real world history where we thought that all swans were white. We had empirical evidence of course: around the world was this bird, it's beautiful, and it has always been white. Not until we finally reached Australia did we finally discover a black swan. This shattered our sensibilities, it changed our history books, our encyclopedias, our understanding of the species. So the theory states that we can never predict the unpredictable, yet... it is only the unpredictable, when finally announced, that changes our world dramatically. It is the unforeseen things that change our world forever. Now, this all ties together with rare events, the uncertainty of things, and accidents that do good and bad. You can never be prepared enough for a "black swan" event.
That moment, that success story, the one that will dramatically change your life for the better is out there... and it starts with you. Please live.
OP: 25 is barely a baby in the grand scheme of things. I know you probably think your life is almost over, but seriously...it's JUST beginning. Don't be a dope and throw it away. You have no idea how it will hurt loved ones and others. Seriously.
Call the number given out on this page/check yourself in. It's going to be tough, but it's for the best.
Call the number given out on this page/check yourself in. It's going to be tough, but it's for the best.
It's a tinypic image of him cutting his abdomen.
Cryptic, people who are looking out for your safety are going to try to check up on you shortly and talk things through at your home. For right this second, call the suicide prevention hotline at 1 (800) 273-8255 and stay on the line with them and talk and try to calm down some. We all want you to make it through this and we're doing what we can to help. A lot of us on here have been in the same situation as you, and we all look back relieved that we didn't end up doing anything drastic, so don't go doing something drastic.
As soon as you're able, you need to check yourself into the hospital, or ask a loved one to take you, and explain at the hospital that you've been cutting and feeling suicidal for what has clearly been some time now. The solution is not suicide, it's seeing a medical professional and getting treatment immediately, just like any emergency situation with your life at risk. Do not be ashamed. Feeling depressed and hopeless and suicidal is not a statement about your character or your value as a human being. Get help right away.
Dynamite Shikoku
Congratulations, you really deserve it!
Get a cat, OP
I should be fine. thanks.
I talked to the police I'll talk to work and they'll probably have to let me go. Then I'll go to the hospital.
i hate medicine but they'll probably give me somethang.
Thanks evillore . I talked to the police.
Thanks everyone.
I'm too tired to answer everyone.
I read everything though.
I'll stop posting as I'm embarassed.
Bye for now.
I talked to the police I'll talk to work and they'll probably have to let me go. Then I'll go to the hospital.
i hate medicine but they'll probably give me somethang.
Thanks evillore . I talked to the police.
Thanks everyone.
I'm too tired to answer everyone.
I read everything though.
I'll stop posting as I'm embarassed.
Bye for now.
The Artisan
Member
SocksAndShoes
Banned
We're all glad you're safe. Please take care of yourself.
No need to be embarrassed at all. We're just glad you're okay.
doctorblurg
Banned
I hope with this professional help you can feel better soon. I wish you the best of luck Cryptic and we're all really relieved that you're okay.
The Lamonster
Member
cat or dog, this is great advice.
dont feel embarrassed, everyone is just trying to help. glad you're okay
TheOnlyOneHeEverFeared
Member
Its not time your OP. Long as theres life, there hope.
Agreed. A pet can offer very valuable companionship.
Don't be embarrassed OP. What you did was very, very brave.
Choosing to go on when things are difficult takes a huge amount of courage.
Wishing you all the best. Glad you're still here.
Don't be embarassed. Even the happiest people on the outside, the people who seem to have everything going right for them, have demons inside that they are hiding.
la flama blanca
Banned
Hey, I was admitted this past summer into an in patient unit and then 2 weeks in outpatient care. Don't be too cynical about some of the BS you may encounter, try to focus and identify with what can help you the most. Stay safe dude.
Take care now.
Leatherface
Member
OP do NOT give up damn it. Channel those feelings into determination. Find something positive to redirect your thoughts toward. Ever think about visiting a disabled veteran in the hospital, or helping those in need? Working at an animal shelter to care for animals and help find them homes? Maybe you can find comfort in being there for others? The point is there are many doors leading to rewards that give life meaning/purpose/warmth. Be willing to explore those avenues before giving up. You may find what your looking for in unexpected ways. Good luck OP. PM me you would like a pen pal or to chat. I'm here bud.
Dreams-Visions
Member
Omega Ultimus
Member
We'll always be here to listen and share our lives with you, cryptic. You're part of the GAF family. Hope to see you better soon, and PM me whenever!
Take it easy man and don't give up on life. It's good to be alive.
Lan Dong Mik
And why would I want them?
Take care cryptic. You have people that care about you in your personal life and on this board. You need to live your life.
Nothing at all to be embarrassed about. Our thoughts are with you.
Gordon Shumway
Banned
Good luck to you, man. No need for embarrassment..it's what we're here for.
Johnny Cage In The Shower
Member
We are here for you man, just be strong and get some rest in the hospital, and please don't hesitate, DO NOT hesitate to contact anyone you think that can be there for you right now, family and/or friend, please call them, ask them to be by your side at the hospital.
I am angry. My childhood and life is like few times worse than yours in my eyes. Imagine born with disease, pretty much no parental love and have to struggle to live in a new, very different country. I had a lot of trouble with women because i kept it to myself and never approached them even they were there. And i falied every attempt because i am always feeling insecured and fuck up every possible relationship. Suicide thought is always part of my life. But you know what, I find my strength to live on. When I am down I tell myself to struggle through it (it maybe something I inherented as my father is depressed all his life). I have sibling who I was close to but can't love me now, due to his disease-the only person i ever feel cared for me now cant even have feelings. The other person I cared about, my mom, died when i was 20.There has not been 1 day in my life where I was not feeling depressed. I feel my life is never better than 10 years ago, than 20 years ago, than 30 years ago. But I learned all I have in this world that can help me live through tough times,is myself (yes i have my family but i dont ever feel i am helped) and if I don't continue living, I will never know the better days of my life in the future. Being alive now, if I killed my self in the past, I know I would regret it,if I could know what my life is now...a bitter, but sweet life. If I can find the strength to go on, so can you.
I am not bragging that my life is worse than you blah blah blah, I am just saying, I feel I am worse than anyone in the world...but all it is, is my feelings...my life isn't really that bad when I look at it objectively. And maybe, maybe, your life is better than you think too and maybe there are thinks worth living for that you just can't rationally think about now. But trust me, trust the people who care about you, like those here, that life, will get better and it's ok to be depressed as long as you know, there are helps out there to help you get better, if you need that.
I appologize if I come across as rude and unsempathetic, I am feeling ill physically today and it's almost like I feel I am daying
I am not bragging that my life is worse than you blah blah blah, I am just saying, I feel I am worse than anyone in the world...but all it is, is my feelings...my life isn't really that bad when I look at it objectively. And maybe, maybe, your life is better than you think too and maybe there are thinks worth living for that you just can't rationally think about now. But trust me, trust the people who care about you, like those here, that life, will get better and it's ok to be depressed as long as you know, there are helps out there to help you get better, if you need that.
I appologize if I come across as rude and unsempathetic, I am feeling ill physically today and it's almost like I feel I am daying
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