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It seems like I have a massive shit inside me and it hurts
- Thread starter Whitecrow
- Start date
EverydayBeast
thinks Halo Infinite is a new graphical benchmark
Richard Packer
Member
epicnemesis
Member
Laxatives/stool softeners should do the trick.
For my colonoscopy they had me take an oral laxative, then like 5 hours later take a half of a large bottle of Miralax with some Gatorade.
(I then had to do the second half of the miralax bottle later that night but was already empty)
Hard to imagine that 1-2 punch would be defeated by anything your colon can make.
For my colonoscopy they had me take an oral laxative, then like 5 hours later take a half of a large bottle of Miralax with some Gatorade.
(I then had to do the second half of the miralax bottle later that night but was already empty)
Hard to imagine that 1-2 punch would be defeated by anything your colon can make.
Hope it won't come to that but if it does there are trained people out there in every ER.
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Ultra Violento
Member
Hopefully not an appendix lol. I had one when I was younger and had it removed trough surgery.
DrJohnGalt
Banned
Are you sure you're not pregnant?
Have you tried calling the guys from Rectal Rooter?
Have you eaten any fast food in the past 4 hours? That usually helps. That and jumping jacks.
Have you tried calling the guys from Rectal Rooter?
Have you eaten any fast food in the past 4 hours? That usually helps. That and jumping jacks.
Whitecrow
Banned
Great that will come handy for situations like this. One is never trained good enough!
DOnt think so, I would be screaming in pain : D
No, no, and yes : D
Do you know the guys from Rectal Rooter? How was the experience?
DrJohnGalt
Banned
Never met them, but I've seen them in action (on the internet) and have heard gapingly good testimonials from satisfied customers. The tear-streaked mascara also speaks volumes. Sometimes the drain has to be snaked to get the clog out.
Whitecrow
Banned
Well, I think I had a leg and and arm out, separately.
Still dont know if it's a boy or a girl...
Punkster88
Banned
laxative suppository is your best bet! Don't eat more fiber it'll make it worse eat more salads, veggies, fruits.
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Piku_Ringo
Banned
John2290
Member
Senokot and some prune juice?
Eh, or it might just be that time to go really hard. Go for a hard walk/jog/run until you are exhausted just before bed, take a bunch of senokot and when you wake up drink a small glass of warm prune juice along side a real clack coffee and try and drink as much water as you can as if you're in a race to drink two pints with someone else and if you haven't shit by this point, go to the doctor cause that toilet should be filled to the brim. I do this every few months when I'm feeling shitty, constipated or not and sometimes add in 200ml of brown spirits like dark rum, whiskey, Brandy and that sort of thing after the jog cause it helps you get real thirsty in the morning and kills bacteria in the gut that might be causing problems and if i'm actually constipated I'll add in a hell of a lot of fiberous food and one ducolax.
This is the nuclear option and may cause mutually assured destruction to all those in your residence. I do not recommend the above all in one go also, take each part as a step each day and keep adding the other steps in every other day until you get the results you want. Seriously, this regime could cause you some very embarrassing events, I'd imagine if you aren't used to it, really plugged up or it happens to be gas or something.
Eh, or it might just be that time to go really hard. Go for a hard walk/jog/run until you are exhausted just before bed, take a bunch of senokot and when you wake up drink a small glass of warm prune juice along side a real clack coffee and try and drink as much water as you can as if you're in a race to drink two pints with someone else and if you haven't shit by this point, go to the doctor cause that toilet should be filled to the brim. I do this every few months when I'm feeling shitty, constipated or not and sometimes add in 200ml of brown spirits like dark rum, whiskey, Brandy and that sort of thing after the jog cause it helps you get real thirsty in the morning and kills bacteria in the gut that might be causing problems and if i'm actually constipated I'll add in a hell of a lot of fiberous food and one ducolax.
This is the nuclear option and may cause mutually assured destruction to all those in your residence. I do not recommend the above all in one go also, take each part as a step each day and keep adding the other steps in every other day until you get the results you want. Seriously, this regime could cause you some very embarrassing events, I'd imagine if you aren't used to it, really plugged up or it happens to be gas or something.
F
Foamy
Unconfirmed Member
I had the same thing happen last year. One huge hard crap that I couldn't pass because it hurt my butt hole too much.
I used glycerine suppositories.
I used glycerine suppositories.
teezzy
Banned
You poop yet OP?
I went keto once and wasn't watching my fiber. Really clogged up my pipes. It was one of the most miserable experiences ever but I took the day off work, I piled up on Exlax and fiber pills and just trimmed my index fingernail down to avoid any accidents and just pushed little by little, slowly digging what was out with my finger. Eventually while pushing it was like a wave of shit came out of me, and while the cleanup wasn't pleasant either, I was so relieved that it was taken care of and I'd avoided ER. I don't like people poking and prodding me.
Godspeed dude.
I went keto once and wasn't watching my fiber. Really clogged up my pipes. It was one of the most miserable experiences ever but I took the day off work, I piled up on Exlax and fiber pills and just trimmed my index fingernail down to avoid any accidents and just pushed little by little, slowly digging what was out with my finger. Eventually while pushing it was like a wave of shit came out of me, and while the cleanup wasn't pleasant either, I was so relieved that it was taken care of and I'd avoided ER. I don't like people poking and prodding me.
Godspeed dude.
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Fugitive Sex
Member
Do you not eat fruit and vegetables? This problem could easily have been avoided... Also, drink more water, for the love of God.
Darkmakaimura
Can You Imagine What SureAI Is Going To Do With Garfield?
I'll trade you places or colons, OP.
I have the shits really bad today because I didn't sleep well last night.
I have the shits really bad today because I didn't sleep well last night.
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King of Foxes
Banned
I thought all the sperg retards who don't know how to piss or shit left for reset but here we are.
teezzy
Banned
Stiflers Mom
Banned
OP, we need an update.
notseqi
Member
Just meet in the middle and push out a soft one while holding hands.
autoduelist
Member
Stop hanging out with Hunter.
lifa-cobex
Member
Shit happens
Whitecrow
Banned
Sorry sorry for not replying for a while.
Seems like its getting out, step by step. I think I have still something that needs some softening, but at least I've been pooping rabbit shits, so it's not fully clogged : )
Enjoy the shit freedom man : D
Everything is always better outside than inside. Except what we are all thinking about... maybe?
Seems like its getting out, step by step. I think I have still something that needs some softening, but at least I've been pooping rabbit shits, so it's not fully clogged : )
Enjoy the shit freedom man : D
Everything is always better outside than inside. Except what we are all thinking about... maybe?
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Bitmap Frogs
Mr. Community
If it's already in the poop chute, you're out of options. Start doing jumping Jacks and in between cycles, massage the lower part of your tummy.
Elektro Demon
Banned
Try taking a laxative.
Blitzmangoman
Member
Had a miserable experience while doing Keto myself. It was so painful, my whole body got to sweating as if I did some heavy workout. The floor was just wet from all the sweat. I almost passed out, lol. Then I said F it and went super saiyan and pushed, the relief pushing that diamond out, damn. I felt like I lost 5kgs at once.
and 3 others
Banned
synchronicity
Member
Rabbit shits is definitely not a good sign, but at least its moving, lol.
I have PKD and so I've got swollen, cyst-laden kidneys and liver, so I'm always in a battle. Sometimes it's not so bad, but there's only so much room in there, and things get tight. But I'm grateful, as there are far worse things to have to contend with.
StreetsofBeige
Gold Member
Did you clog the bowl?
Darkmakaimura
Can You Imagine What SureAI Is Going To Do With Garfield?
If you lived nextdoor I'd give you a senna.
Stuart360
Member
I know the thread has turned into a parody, but i feel you man. I have a back problem, and on daily powerful painkillers, well i'm sure most people know painkillers and shit dont go well together lol.
Everyday is literal pain to have a shit, bloody shits too. And no i dont need to be checked out, i have had bloody shits for 10 years, if it was cancer i'm sure i'd know by now lol (plus i have had blood tests over the years).
Everyday is literal pain to have a shit, bloody shits too. And no i dont need to be checked out, i have had bloody shits for 10 years, if it was cancer i'm sure i'd know by now lol (plus i have had blood tests over the years).
Whitecrow
Banned
I dont know if its because of the country, but I have no idea about what Keto is, but seems like some emergency maneuver when things like this happens...
Well at least in this case even if it's in small chunks, it's ok to let them out : D
The last two shits before this were big and consistent, more than normal, but the last onewas too much lmao.
Also, stay strong with your battle! Yeah it may not be the worst thing but every health problem is a problem. I hope your doing fine!
.... a senna? And a hug maybe? : D
I know the thread has turned into a parody, but i feel you man. I have a back problem, and on daily powerful painkillers, well i'm sure most people know painkillers and shit dont go well together lol.
Everyday is literal pain to have a shit, bloody shits too. And no i dont need to be checked out, i have had bloody shits for 10 years, if it was cancer i'm sure i'd know by now lol (plus i have had blood tests over the years).
No worries mate, there's people joking because advices were given too : ) And because its impossible not to joke.
So painkillers is the only... 'patch' you have for your condition? That's the shittiest thing of this thread (sorry had to say it).
Stay strong you too bro. If english was my first language I would know some better cheering words but... well : D
I sincerily wish you all with constant health battles the best of the best!
Off topic looks a good place to share personal stories and spit some shit out of your mind.
And yeah btw it seems that 'we' have a happy ending. Shit's gone.
Also, it felt great to talk openly about this here. More than I was expecting. I've been enjoying the thread, so thanks people < 3
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synchronicity
Member
Stuart360
Member
My mistake, i didnt mean people were being dicks or anything, the thread was quite funny to read lol.
And yeah i'm good, just have to live with it.
Fushitsusha
Banned
Sounds like you've got an Xbox Series X stuck in there.
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Whitecrow
Banned
Fortunately, nope. I took the 'divide and win' approach. It works : )
Darkmakaimura
Can You Imagine What SureAI Is Going To Do With Garfield?
Was it a boy or girl or will you wait until it's 18 to decide?