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JBaird has mental breakdown as he invents elaborate "murder/rape" hoax (Update #4151

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Amir0x

Banned
stuminus3 said:
Aargh damnit Amir0x, it can be so frustrating sometimes reading your posts when you get the right thought in your head, what the heck is this? :lol

Look, I agree on nearly all fronts, JBaird is batshit insane and one way or another this has just been a wild rollercoaster ride of non-stop bullshit. He's permabanned and the world's a better place for it. But it's not out of any realm of possibility that the genesis of this whole thing is some equally attention starved bimbo on Myspace. It happens, I have seen it happen so many times since online chat got popular in the mid 1990s (even posted a story of my own that's gotta be a good 12 years old), by the exact same token as you're saying that most of the crazy shit on GAF is posted by nothing but attention whores (which I agree with, by the way), there are crazy women ('?') pulling the same attention whoring shit on poor suckers on everything from the OG AOL to Myspace, if one group exists there's no reason the other shouldn't. "Unfriend/Ignore/Move On" only applies when you're talking about regular internet people in a regular situation, and you yourself agree that not everyone posting on the internet is "regular"... this is two sides of the same coin we're talking about here.

There are several extremely simple logical reasons why I don't believe the GF was the one behind this. One, you can only "attention whore" if you do something where you can suck up the attention. She cannot suck up any attention if she has to pretend she is dead/missing. Secondly, if she wanted to simply break up with him (to avoid a "breakdown", as one GAFer suggested), then she would not have invented the idea that her own sister was raped/killed. Because that is beyond crazy to even joke about something like that with your own flesh and blood. But three, because it makes the lie even more unsustainable. Then, she has to find a way to cover all the tracks her sister might make, which is completely unrealistic.

Remember, they're all on myspace. The only thing that ever had to happen to disprove this entire bullshit was she had to come online. Which she did. What purpose was there to invent a story about her going missing/her sister being raped and killed (which by itself raised a billion questions) if she was just going to go on her myspace account later in the day and end all that?

Actually working out these scenarios in your head is what leads me to my simple rational truths.

JBaird simply didn't think Detective GAF was as vigilante as it was. As dave_is_ok pointed out, he literally said he got the information about this shit FROM THE POLICE THEMSELVES. There is no way anybody else was involved in the hoax at that point. If it was all true then the information he got post police contact would have also been true, or at least true-ish: but it wasn't. It was all lies upon bigger lies. And we still have seen not a shred of news about this event, even though though the "mysterious friend posting from Bri's myspace" says she is still missing after FIVE DAYS.

stuminus3 said:
The thing is now that none of us will ever actually know the truth, unless there's GAFfers out there that are even creepier and go find the dude in real life and inject him with a truth serum or something (please don't, GAF). We'll never know for sure. The absolute most important thing is that nobody actually got murdered or raped or went missing here, that's something we can all agree on for sure, it's really all just been about the lulz since yesterday afternoon.

We do know the truth. Some people are just in denial about it.
 

owlbeak

Member
stuminus3 said:
The absolute most important thing is that nobody actually got murdered or raped or went missing here, that's something we can all agree on for sure, it's really all just been about the lulz since yesterday afternoon.
Couldn't agree more. Well said.
 

Salazar

Member
MassiveAttack said:
He's permabanned. Unless his alter egos, surrogates, handlers, posse, girlfriend, publicist and PR agency have been sending PMs and thinly disguised posts.

Might he show up in forums where banned Gaffers congregate ?
 

Shanadeus

Banned
S1lent said:
We're all eagerly anticipating your thoughts. I mean, look at how well you've pieced together the existing info into a totally coherent and sensible theory...
Okay, I'm back to believing in my theory.

JBaird has been duped by both friend and "girlfriend".

The extremes that JBaird has been telling us could be explained by the lies being passed from girlfriend to friend and later from friend to JBaird.

He's too proud/immature to admit it when he realizes it, and try to backtrack and lie to cover up the holes in the story.

The sister does end up "missing" (drunken adventure, neurotic breakdown, temporary amnesia or any other possible reason) and the girl who was at a friend's (might have been the same friend who duped JBaird) house runs out to help the hubby, daddy and more to find the sis.

The friend checks out her myspace and replies to some GAFFER, completely misunderstanding what he's talking about and thinking that the gaffer is talking about the missing sister being the "story".
 
Shanadeus said:
Okay, I'm back to believing in my theory.

JBaird has been duped by both friend and "girlfriend".

He's too proud/immature to admit it when he realizes it, and try to backtrack and lie to cover up the holes in the story.

The sister does end up "missing" (drunken adventure, neurotic breakdown, temporary amnesia or any other possible reason) and the girl who was at a friend's (might have been the same friend who duped JBaird) house runs out to help the hubby, daddy and more to find the sis.

The friend checks out her myspace and replies to some GAFFER, completely misunderstanding what he's talking about and thinking that the gaffer is talking about the missing sister being the "story".

This is terrible. You're terrible.
 

tmarques

Member
DY_nasty said:
Its funny how many people missed out on the fact that there wasn't even a missing persons report filed. JB didn't even call the police until the next fucking day, and before then he went on about how he 'wasn't physically able to' or some shit.

I'm pretty sure he said he tried to file a missing person report but was told he couldn't because it had already been done by someone else in Ashland.
 
Shanadeus said:
Okay, I'm back to believing in my theory.

JBaird has been duped by both friend and "girlfriend".

The extremes that JBaird has been telling us could be explained by the lies being passed from girlfriend to friend and later from friend to JBaird.

He's too proud/immature to admit it when he realizes it, and try to backtrack and lie to cover up the holes in the story.

The sister does end up "missing" (drunken adventure, neurotic breakdown, temporary amnesia or any other possible reason) and the girl who was at a friend's (might have been the same friend who duped JBaird) house runs out to help the hubby, daddy and more to find the sis.

The friend checks out her myspace and replies to some GAFFER, completely misunderstanding what he's talking about and thinking that the gaffer is talking about the missing sister being the "story".

But your theory has to make gigantic leaps of faith to even come close to making sense. And like we've said, if someone was missing for five days, especially someone with a kid, autistic no less, then SOMEONE would've filed a missing persons report, and there'd at least be a mention in one of the local news outlets.
 

Amir0x

Banned
tmarques said:
I'm pretty sure he said he tried to file a missing person report but was told he couldn't because it had already been done by someone else in Ashland.

yeah except no such missing persons report exists, literally
 

RiccochetJ

Gold Member
Shanadeus said:
Okay, I'm back to believing in my theory.

JBaird has been duped by both friend and "girlfriend".

The extremes that JBaird has been telling us could be explained by the lies being passed from girlfriend to friend and later from friend to JBaird.

He's too proud/immature to admit it when he realizes it, and try to backtrack and lie to cover up the holes in the story.

The sister does end up "missing" (drunken adventure, neurotic breakdown, temporary amnesia or any other possible reason) and the girl who was at a friend's (might have been the same friend who duped JBaird) house runs out to help the hubby, daddy and more to find the sis.

The friend checks out her myspace and replies to some GAFFER, completely misunderstanding what he's talking about and thinking that the gaffer is talking about the missing sister being the "story".

I think your moth crisis is affecting your capacity for reason.
 

enzo_gt

tagged by Blackace
I think he should be unbanned and put on trial by GAF, seriously. I really want to hear this guy again on GAF trial, and make this man actually reply -not when he feels its necessary- and to just interrogate the dude.
 
Amir0x said:
She cannot suck up any attention if she has to pretend she is dead/missing.
...

gonna...yep, I'm gonna completely disagree. like people who "attempt" suicide, there are emotionally manipulative people out there in the world that know how their actions will affect others...and how said actions will generate a ton of attention for themselves. There are many emotionally disturbed people in this world, man.

late night MSNBC is always has some show about some weirdos. :lol
 

DY_nasty

NeoGAF's official "was this shooting justified" consultant
tmarques said:
I'm pretty sure he said he tried to file a missing person report but was told he couldn't because it had already been done by someone else in Ashland.
No.

He didn't try to file a missing persons report AND there was never one to begin with.
 

Axion22

Member
Amir0x said:
Secondly, if she wanted to simply break up with him (to avoid a "breakdown", as one GAFer suggested), then she would not have invented the idea that her own sister was raped/killed. Because that is beyond crazy to even joke about something like that with your own flesh and blood. But three, because it makes the lie even more unsustainable. Then, she has to find a way to cover all the tracks her sister might make, which is completely unrealistic.

In my version of this theory, GF has a different friend that started inventing twists as they went along, not knowing the lengths that JBaird (and then Detective GAF) would go to try to get to the bottom of it.
 

tmarques

Member
Amir0x said:
yeah except no such missing persons report exists, literally

Which is another reason why I can't believe there are people who still think JBaird was "fooled".

Really, he should have simply vanished after his initial few posts. People would have assumed he was actually doing something to locate his gf and the lie would have lasted a couple more days. Sometimes less is more.
 

stuminus3

Member
Yes, but y'see...

Amir0x said:
One, you can only "attention whore" if you do something where you can suck up the attention.

...this is wrong. Getting your private kicks from fucking around with the mind of just one other person is still attention whoring. Eg: some guy pretends to be a girl, has some hot cybersex, waits until the exact moment where their 'partner' tells them they're cuming, then with a giddy laugh reveal that they're actually a dude. The only thing different between this and trolling GAF for about 48 pages or so is scale, and sometimes, the small, personal hit is more of a buzz than trolling the whole internet combined. This kind of shit has gone on since the dawn of the internet, it's real web 1.0 "social networking" trolling, the modern rules and etiquette of normal people on Facebook don't mean a damn thing.

Anyway, I really wanted to play some Baldur's Gate tonight, so have at thee, as I said, it's just about the lulz now, I really don't want to be deep in this all night. :lol
 
I've just realized that this thread isn't Alan Wake. Nor is it Twin Peaks...


79ca5308.png
 

Eric C

Member
Amir0x said:
We do know the truth. Some people are just in denial about it.


I think JBaird made the whole thing up himself.

Amir0x said:
No my theory is that it's his GF merely posting at the behest of JBaird, after he apologized and convinced her to play along the sweep it under the rug.
But I don't think this ^

I think he must somehow have access to her password or laptop or something.

I just can't imagine a scenario where he says to his "GF" "Yeah, I lied and made up this story about you and your sister being abducted from a car crash. Your sister was found raped and murdered 20 miles away. You are still missing. Please continue spreading this lie to anyone that tries contacting you."
 
Amir0x said:
She cannot suck up any attention if she has to pretend she is dead/missing.

Man, it's like that episode of Friends where Ross attends his own funeral, we all know how people imitate what they see on TV. You're just not one for logical thinking are you Ami?
 

Salazar

Member
If JBaird had been an AusGaffer, he might have pulled this off.

GAF - even AusGAF - would have been slightly more willing to credit the notion of mysterious disappearance in the outback.
 

Amir0x

Banned
Dreams-Visions said:
...

gonna...yep, I'm gonna completely disagree. like people who "attempt" suicide, there are emotionally manipulative people out there in the world that know how their actions will affect others...and how said actions will generate a ton of attention for themselves. There are many emotionally disturbed people in this world, man.

late night MSNBC is always has some show about some weirdos. :lol

People who 'attempt' suicide suck up the attention they get when people show concerned about their mental well being once the attempt is discovered. They don't disappear, they have an outlet for their attention whoring.

This scenario you're theorizing she invented means she had to literally disappear for anyone to believe it, which means the only way she'd ever get attention from it was if she always meant to be caught so that, um, she can be scolded for inventing the hoax? I mean nobody who is gonna dream this elaborate a hoax is gonna wanna privately soak in something she can't ever see for herself.

But none of that matters since we already know for a fact it could not be her:

I mean, there's far more leaps of logic to get to that conclusion than the alternative, which is JBaird made it all up. Because he did, of course, and the ultimate end-all proof is when he claimed he got the information about this shit from the police themselves.

Once that happened, anyone arguing that if was someone else are pretty much arguing for no reason.
 

Amir0x

Banned
Ericsc said:
But I don't think this ^

I think he must somehow have access to her password or laptop or something.

I just can't imagine a scenario where he says to his "GF" "Yeah, I lied and made up this story about you and your sister being abducted from a car crash. Your sister was found raped and murdered 20 miles away. You are still missing. Please continue spreading this lie to anyone that tries contacting you."

This specific detail about who is on her account is probably the only aspect of this that is really still up for debate. I think it's perfectly reasonable to believe he has a password/user access to the account and made the post himself.

Whether it was her posting in his name or merely him posting to cover his own tracks, it just leads back to him making it all up (which you agree with). So this detail is rather unimportant to our conclusions
 

Shanadeus

Banned
Ericsc said:
I think JBaird made the whole thing up himself.


But I don't think this ^

I think he must somehow have access to her password or laptop or something.

I just can't imagine a scenario where he says to his "GF" "Yeah, I lied and made up this story about you and your sister being abducted from a car crash. Your sister was found raped and murdered 20 miles away. You are still missing. Please continue spreading this lie to anyone that tries contacting you."
I believe that JBaird made this whole thing up if we somehow find proof for him having access to her password or laptop. I'm going to send off a message to Bri and find out the dealio.

mightynine said:
But your theory has to make gigantic leaps of faith to even come close to making sense. And like we've said, if someone was missing for five days, especially someone with a kid, autistic no less, then SOMEONE would've filed a missing persons report, and there'd at least be a mention in one of the local news outlets.

She might have been partying really hard, and people assumed it was no big deal the first 3 days, gotten a bit worried the 4th and started getting seriously worried on the 5th. And considering that they live in a small town, they might have some hickish attitudes towards the police - feeling that they can't trust them or something.
 

tmarques

Member
DY_nasty said:
No.

He didn't try to file a missing persons report AND there was never one to begin with.

Of course there wasn't one to begin with. But I remember that at some point (when he visited the police station and took pictures?) he claimed that he finally tried to do what everyone had been pestering him to do for hours - file the report - but was told it had already been done by someone else. Supposedly, the mysterious friend who fed him the information about the abandoned car, raped sister, etc.
 
Shanadeus said:
She might have been partying really hard, and people assumed it was no big deal the first 3 days, gotten a bit worried the 4th and started getting seriously worried on the 5th. And considering that they live in a small town, they might have some hickish attitudes towards the police - feeling that they can't trust them or something.

"Where's Mommy?"

"Don't worry kid, we'll check in a couple of days. Maybe."

Yep, makes perfect sense.
 
See, it's threads like this that make me want the forum's search feature back. It'd be nice to be able to see JBaird's post history all in one convenient place and it would make piecing together a story a lot easier. Someone buy EviLore a new server already.
 

bwahhhhh

Member
Amir0x said:
Yay one more for the truth club!

*pops the cork on a bottle of wine* :D

Yes, pop the cork! Celebrate!!

... because you almost got away with it, didn't you?

It all adds up. The wanton defamation of JBaird's character and any who support him. The going back and editing of any links to MySpace evidence, the way a dirty cop would tamper with evidence. The way you were the first person to say you were going to MySpace message the GF. (whose account you hacked, in order to purposely send warped messages, with arbitrary punctuation, that no sane person would ever write)

The thread title change to "JBaird has mental breakdown as he invents elaborate "murder/rape" hoax", specifically to influence the mindset of any first-time thread-readers. And the way you're constantly insisting that not a single bit of the "story" ever happened, almost as if your livelihood depended on it.

So why do all of this? Because YOU'RE the original "friend."

You txted JBaird in the first place, knowing full well that he would create a thread about it. He was just a naive pawn. You set this whole thing in motion because you knew it would result in a mega-thread. And the saddest part... your motive? Such a mega-thread would be the one thing that you knew would draw GAF's attention away from the shame of your ill-conceived Werewolf-penis thread.

You abused your power... and your knowledge that the only thing which GAF, much like the rest of the world, loves more than a Werewolf-penis controversy, is a fake MySpace-GF-murder conspiracy. Well played.... well played.
 
bwahhhhh said:
Yes, pop the cork! Celebrate!!

... because you almost got away with it, didn't you?

It all adds up. The wanton defamation of JBaird's character and any who support him. The going back and editing of any links to MySpace evidence, the way a dirty cop would tamper with evidence. The way you were the first person to say you were going to MySpace message the GF. (whose account you hacked, in order to purposely send warped messages, with arbitrary punctuation, that no sane person would ever write)

The thread title change to "JBaird has mental breakdown as he invents elaborate "murder/rape" hoax", specifically to influence the mindset of any first-time thread-readers. And the way you're constantly insisting that not a single bit of the "story" ever happened, almost as if your livelihood depended on it.

So why do all of this? Because YOU'RE the original "friend."

You txted JBaird in the first place, knowing full well that he would create a thread about it. He was just a naive pawn. You set this whole thing in motion because you knew it would result in a mega-thread. And the saddest part... your motive? Such a mega-thread would be the one thing that you knew would draw GAF's attention away from the shame of your ill-conceived Werewolf-penis thread.

You abused your power... and your knowledge that the only thing which GAF, much like the rest of the world, loves more than a Werewolf-penis controversy, is a fake MySpace-GF-murder conspiracy. Well played.... well played.
Amir0x-chan vs The World
 

Cyan

Banned
100 pages... officially the most successful hokes thread on GAF?

Clearly the wine cooler was better/more fun. The_Shadow's pregnant ladyfriend lasted longer, and over several threads no less. But this has had impressive breadth.
 
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