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[Clydefrog]

I know one day I will make the dreaded elevator mistake.

empty elevator, eh? guess i'm good to go! *FART* *FART FART FART*

*ding* *someone walks in*

 

[mrklaw]

I like it when you're walking up stairs and each step pops out a little fart. You need to get at least three in a row though.

last night I crept upstairs around 1am after procrastinating on GAF for far too long, trying to be quiet so as not to disturb anyone. Then did a completely unexpected parp right on the landing. Didn't notice it coming at all. Among the silence it was so crystal clear and kind of beautiful, other than the 'oh shit did I wake anyone up' part.

 

[NoTacos]

lmao topic thread change haha

 

[Freaky Fred]

saw the title and thought "another fart thread already??"

 

[iJudged]

Lmfao @ the thread title change... That's what it should have been all along.

 

[MC Safety]

No one's gas smells good.

In fact, I can't fathom how you produce that smell with only one ass.

 

[Dazzler]

I had a kale smoothie with protein powder this morning

my farts have been rancid all day, the kind that linger. Need to keep leaving the office to go outside and fart

 

[big_z]

I usually release my work farts into the wild away from civilization but I had one that slipped out. Co-workers came by and thought I had wendys food with me.

No one's gas smells good.

In fact, I can't fathom how you produce that smell with only one ass.

Everyone takes a sniff of their own work its human nature. Other people's farts smell awful though and in not sure why.

 

[Kirlia]

I'm sorry, but iJudged you very, very heavily on this post.

Spoiler

...only posted in here for the name pun.

 

[way more]

I assumed this thread had been bumped

I think that my landlord loves the smell of my farts. I'm not kidding.

So. It is Sunday morning/afternoon. I had a big night of eating/drinking last night. (I'm on a strict nutrition/work-out schedule, but I give myself nights off every now and then.) So my stomach is doing all sorts of nasty business. I'm just sitting around my apartment, getting some writing done, and farting. Huge, huge amounts of farts. And I haven't showered. So I'm basically hotboxing my apartment with my stank. (My wife serves on Sundays to make a few extra bucks, so she's not at home.)

Well, about an hour ago my landlord and one of her labor dudes stopped by the apartment to replace all of the smoke alarms and carbon-monoxide detectors. When she walks into the apartment she says "Wow. It smells really, really good in here." and she looks at the kitchen. She thought I was cooking. But, of course, I'd not been cooking. Just farting.

It is possible that she was making a (mean?) joke. But I don't know her that well, so that would be surprising. I think she just loves the smell of my farts.

 

[iJudged]

I usually release my work farts into the wild away from civilization but I had one that slipped out. Co-workers came by and thought I had wendys food with me.

Yeah! For a second there I thought I was the only one whose ovaries smelled like good home cooked meal.

 

[Thursday War]

oh my god the new title :lol

I know one day I will make the dreaded elevator mistake.

empty elevator, eh? guess i'm good to go! *FART* *FART FART FART*

*ding* *someone walks in*

OMFG DECEASED :LOL

 

[Arkos]

Thread title change is awesome. Sometimes when I'm sick my farts will smell like food (eg chicken soup), I feel you OP. My farts have a beautiful bouquet.

 

[Linkhero1]

Someone released gas just a few minutes ago (not me btw) and now the whole office smells rancid...wtf people. I know it's close to being the end of the day but there are better outlets for your fart.

 

[iJudged]

I am In NYC and take subway daily, some of these people, SMDH!

 

[Bloodrage]

I like to unleash my ass gas in public bathrooms when someone's standing next to me. Sometimes the looks I get are gif worthy.

 

[Baraka in the White House]

I like to unleash my ass gas in public bathrooms when someone's standing next to me. Sometimes the looks I get are gif worthy.

Someone did this shit in a nearby stall while I was at a urinal and it echoed in the toilet bowl. I fucking lost it right there, almost pissing on myself in the process.

 

[Cheesecakebobby]

This has happened to me. Ex gf: Are you cooking something? Me: Yes dear, in a manner of speaking.

 

[Baraka in the White House]

This has happened to me. Ex gf: Are you cooking something? Me: Yes dear, in a manner of speaking.

"Baking some brownies NAMSAYIN'?!"

 

[vivftp]

Far smells have been on my mind lately. I've occasionally been producing some real gems lately, and starting next week for 2 weeks at work I'll be training a new guy. He'll be sitting right beside me for most of the day and I'm curious to see how things will go. I've even thought about plugging myself up with some wads of paper towel to hopefully dampen things somewhat.

 

[RustyNails]

 

[Cronox]

I've been dating this chick for about 2 months now, and we're not to that stage where we can fart in each other's company. So, after eating a big meal with her, I'm sitting on the couch, and keep having to hold them in... Finally, I can't anymore, so I excuse myself to the bathroom, shut the door, turn on the vent, and let out this monstrosity... dear lord, it made my eyes water. It sounded like someone dumping a 5 gal. bucket of gravel into a river, and smelled like an open grave filled with rotten seafood.

I came back into the living room and after a few minutes she goes "That sounded bad, is your ass alright?" Then we laughed for about 10 minutes straight lol.

Alright, this one got me.

 

[Shig]

I usually release my work farts into the wild away from civilization but I had one that slipped out. Co-workers came by and thought I had wendys food with me.

I smell a new marketing slogan.

Wendy's: Tastes like farts

 

[Blink Me]

I remember my fart smelt so bad once that it made my ex-girlfriend gag. She got me back though a few months later on holiday when she'd had some kidney beans and kept letting off meaty toots.

Also if I'm having a bad night out in a club and I feel a fart brewing I'll deliberately go to the middle of the busy dancefloor and let rip and spread my glorious smell all over the place.