Baseball's back
ALRIGHT
The Magnificent Yankees of Grand Ole New York - 162-0, CC wins 36 games and is awarded the Cy Young twice for his efforts. A-Rod hits 71 home runs. Joba finishes with a 4.50 ERA. World Series champs
The Dastardly Grumpy Ol Self-Absorbed Dingbats of Beantown - Gonzalez is injured for the year, Crawford fails to outproduce Brett Gardner, Beckett continues to implode, and Manny hits seven
teen home runs against them during the season. Last place.
Jangocube's Fetish - Better than last year, still not quite enough to crack that nut called Last Place
The Alex Anthopjpowhatevers of Canada - May or may not make some noise, fans should just be grateful Vernon is gone. 4th place.
FREE SYLAR - A force to be reckoned with despite losing half their roster. Price continues to dominate and Jennings breaks out. Continue to play in that shithole stadium in that shithole town I always hated visiting when I lived in Florida. Bullpen scares me though. 3rd place.
That Chicago Team Eminem rooted for. Where is he anyhow? - Don't know shit about what they did this offseason, Peavy looks to be DOA I guess? 3rd place
Zack Grienke's old flame - Not this year. Ask again in 2012 then we'll start talking. 4th place
Less threatening than anime catgirls - Miguel Cabrera learns to hold his liquor and competes for MVP again. Verlander is Verlander. Still won't be enough but they'll be better than people think I reckon. 2nd place.
The Yankees' Bitches - Win the division, face the Yankees in the first round, promptly get swept. So business as usual. Kevin Butler signed in August to help with the stretch run. AL Central winners.
Charlie Sheen didn't implode as swiftly as these guy - There's always Major League. Last place by a mile.
Little Bitch's Mound - I like what Beane's been doing to keep his team above water but for god's sake, can they please spend some money already? This is getting tiring. 3rd place.
#6#17org - Transition year for them, absolutely nothing of interesting except further confirmation that they should have just taken Montero
. Last place.
That California team everyone hates. - Will finish 2nd by virtue of their division being a piece of shit. Five years later Mr Morales will remember to tell us his name is Kandrys, not Kendrys.
Those No-Good Cockblockers - Oh we're coming for you. That's right. No Cliff Lee to save your ass this time, so be ready for pain. AL West winners.
MEET THE MEST. BEAT THE MEST - I actually don't think they're going to have a bad year. They won't make the playoffs but they should easily finish close to or over .500. Not sure how their future looks though. 3rd place.
OOOOOOOOOH OOOH OAOAOOOOOOOOH. OOOOOOOOOH OHH OAOAOOOOOOOOOH - Great team, definitely a legit pick for the NL East or at least the wildcard. Looking forward to visiting Turner again, great great stadium. 2nd place.
Trade AI set to "Easy" - This team are the luckiest sons of bitches ever, no? Fortunately, it looks like their offense may end up dooming them in the long run despite the godly pitching staff. So basically, they're the last 90's Braves. NL East winners.
Steven Strasburg's Elbow - Please stay in one place please please pleaaaaase. Last place.
My high school band concert had better attendance numbers - What exactly am I supposed to say here? Does anyone care? 4th place.
Zack Greinke's new whore - Ehhhhh they're going to be pretty good but I just can't see them beating the Reds. Greinke is going to absolutely annihilate the NL Central though. 2nd place
How do you spell Cinccinnati again? - Pujols should have won the MVP last season. That aside, Votto, Chapman and co will ensure another division title. NL Central winners.
BAC 0.35 - Hahahahaha you guys are still stuck with Tony Larussa hahahahahaha. Actually, I would've picked this team as a legit contender to Cincy had it not been for Wainwright's injury. A shame otherwise. 3rd place.
:jakncoke - :jakncoke Last place :jakncoke
103 Years and still counting - Nuff said. 5th place.
This team still exists, right? - The only way these guys could get me to pay attention to them is if they returned to those 70's/80's uniforms. That'd be pretty awesome. 4th place.
Snake Rattle and Roll! - Completely uninteresting team gets completely uninteresting analysis. Last place.
There's too much magic inside - But not enough to repeat. Ah who am I kidding, they're probably winning this division and once they're in well... it's Lincecum for goodness' sake! NL West winners.
That California team everyone hates. No, the other one. - I have no idea what's going on with this team. Nomar, anyone here wanna give me a hand? Tentative 3rd place.
I could finish with a 4.50 ERA in this park - Come on assholes, seriously? Casey Kelly and a bunch of stiffs? I hope your team crashes and burns in the worst possible way. 4th place.
Demolish the Humidor - It's not as fun when this park's offense is only ridiculous rather than ludicrous. Either way, I have the Giants winning the division but if any team can challenge them, it's this one. 2nd place.
