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Physically assaulted and wondering about what to do next

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Those of you clamoring for jail time, do you earnestly believe that, in the US at least, it's rehabilitating to put someone there? If not, why would you want a sibling jailed, no less?

If this is a one-off incident, then there are better and more constructive ways for someone to learn from their mistakes than to possibly give them a reason to be resentful should they end up in jail because they poorly misjudged the consequences of their actions (note: I would not extend this same consideration for sexual assault, murder, etc.).

Growing up I had one or two violent physical altercations with my brother, who's 10 years my senior. It never even crossed my mind (nor his) to call the police because 1) What we fought over was completely juvenile and 2) We knew the other to not normally behave that way. We exchanged hits and blows, but that's about it. It took some time but after each incident we talked about it, came to an understanding and apologized.

Edit: Top of the page AGAIN. This happens so damn often now. Maaaaan.
 
I want to let the OP know that he could of been killed. Exact same events and assault but a punch landing a certain away against your head or your head bouncing of a certain way from the floor would do it.


Seek legal help, file charges. Don't cover up for family. Also, this feels like it's a side effect of a deeper issue. Make no mistake, he's done it to someone else.

I know from experience. Do not put this aside or make excuses. You need to separate yourself immediately and seek legal help. If it's your place you'll have to move out temporarily while settling this.

Get yourself some counseling. You're going to need it for the range of emotions you'll feel.

Do not play armchair therapist, psychiatrist, etc... with this. Do not think you can fix this.

It doesn't. I'd think you're nutcase regardless of your sex.

Has to be sarcasm, but I just don't know any more.


You guys laugh but this happened three times in my family, once between my two uncles when they were young, twice with the same uncle and my mother. He's lucky I wasn't there the second time to permanently cripple him. Cops didn't do jack shit.
 
They're both assholes. The only difference is that Saul is up front about it and Chuck hides his shitty behavior under the guise of justice and law.

The latest episode spells it out as much. Chucks always been a petty fuck who is out to put down his brother.
Chuck McGill has a defense force?

I don't want to live in this world anymore
 
why didnt you just beat the shit out of each other like normal bros? i mean, calling the police is a bit crazy but that's just me. only you know your current situation op and if you are willing to live with the outcome of your choice
 
I seriously dont understand some of the replies of this thread. Do the people claiming to file a charge have a brother or a sister ? I mean, if it happened everytime, and the younger brother definitely is wrong. But we're talking here about bringing police and justice into a small family matter between two brothers ? Are we really talking about sending your brother to jail because of a stupid fight ?
 
OP - Hard to give advice when no one here but you knows much about the situation. Is this the 1st time you've fought? You mentioned that he's a bit of a dick - has he been abusive toward you in the past? Is there history there?

Talk to your mum about what to do. If the answer to those above questions is 'Yes', then, speaking from of personal experience, the 'threat' of reporting something like this to police can be the kick in the ass that gets your brother into seeking treatment.
 
You're both like 30...

Family is important. Probably don't want to involve the police over some childish scuffle and hurt emotions.
 
Depending on your location and finances, I would suggest moving out. A siblings negative behavior at that age isn't something that is going to change overnight, and you require a safe, sound place like any human does.

Sometimes the best lesson learned by someone is to remove everything they take for granted, aka in this sense you as a fair brother, your stuff, and shared expenses.

It is a tough lesson and yes maybe, he might fall pretty low here, but if you have been putting up with his negativity for some time, you don't deserve that. Since I haven't read all the pages here and know of your history together, this is best left to be answered obviously by yourself. Only you know what is happening all around and if it is really, truly negative, best to separate.
 
My bothers and I used to have fights with pitchforks and lawn darts . Get over it and move on. I never even thought about calling the cops on family, especially for something I started.

If you want to file charges the only sure thing is that you will be going away as well. You admitted that you threw a pillow at him. You initiated the assault .
 
Your bro doesn't respect you op. As brutal as it may sound getting a minor beat down from him is valuable, don't waste this by throwing it away, use it to bond with him and earn some gosh darn mutual respect before time takes even more from you.
 
lol, I could have put my brothers in prison for life with all the fights we had. Like others said you are both grown men so either one of you buy a TV.
 
It sucks he was hit, yes, but none of us know the real situation or the severity of the attack.
Obviously, OP might be lying/exaggerating/omitting important details/etc.

I am not going on assumptions beyond what is described in the OP. If the OP's story turns out to be false or misleading, then obviously my opinion would change. Since this isn't a news story or in any way verifiable, I see no point in additional speculation just to prove hypothetical points or whatever.

Since OP's bro was sitting there watching TV, and out of nowhere he was brutally assaulted with a pillow.
Maybe OP's bro needs to stop being a pussy and man up /s

A psychiatric evaluation? Lmao I can't anymore.
If someone resorts to violence at the most trivial provocation, they have anger management issues that need to be addressed.

Agreed.

Gaf should do the right thing and call the cops ourselves. I mean this is a matter of public safety for crying out loud.

Who knows how it could escalate if left unchecked. Sure right now it was just a pillow, but in the future it could be a lamp or something worse.

Violent nutcases need to be off the streets for the greater good, regardless of family.
?? Your sarcasm is misplaced, we're talking about several punches, not pillow-throwing. Pay attention?

OP threw a pillow because he was pissed he couldn't play video games. That's the behaviour of a manchild, regardless of how many bills he pays.
Sure, it is, but it's extremely mild. OP got annoyed at his jerk of a brother and childishly threw a pillow at him. But the response from his brother was disproportionate, making the brother a far bigger manchild.

If your throw a pillow at someone who annoys you, you might be a bit childish. If you repeatedly punch someone who annoys you, you're kind of psychotic and probably need help.

What's disgusting? The downplaying of physical assault? The victim-blaming about how a victim should act and not get their aggressor in trouble, because they happen to be family?

I wouldn't even call the cops in this specific case, but people are allowed to have different thresholds of tolerance when it comes to having physically violent acts committed upon their person.
This.
 
Chuck McGill has a defense force?

I don't want to live in this world anymore
I have no idea how anyone could watch that show and form the idea that Chuck is morally right. The past three episodes have pretty much been Chuck unraveling and showing that he's a bigger scumbag then Saul ever was.
 
Listen, either get to beating his ass or get him the hell out of your life, if there's no other recourse. (and fucking hell at anyone saying throwing a brickless pillow in any way justifies a reaction like that. Some of y'all are messed up)

(I'm joking about beating his ass though... well, mostly) (oh, and Chuck McGill is horrible)
 
Obviously, OP might be lying/exaggerating/omitting important details/etc.

I am not going on assumptions beyond what is described in the OP. If the OP's story turns out to be false or misleading, then obviously my opinion would change. Since this isn't a news story or in any way verifiable, I see no point in additional speculation just to prove hypothetical points or whatever.


Maybe OP's bro needs to stop being a pussy and man up /s


If someone resorts to violence at the most trivial provocation, they have anger management issues that need to be addressed.


?? Your sarcasm is misplaced, we're talking about several punches, not pillow-throwing. Pay attention?


Sure, it is, but it's extremely mild. OP got annoyed at his jerk of a brother and childishly threw a pillow at him. But the response from his brother was disproportionate, making the brother a far bigger manchild.

If your throw a pillow at someone who annoys you, you might be a bit childish. If you repeatedly punch someone who annoys you, you're kind of psychotic and probably need help.


This.

I've asked you already and you've conveniently ignored it, but what is gained by going to the police instead to talking to him about it first? If this was you, would you care more about attempting to repair the relationship and move on, or get justice for the sake of justice?

Remember, OPs story himself said this is the first time it's happened and he doesn't feel his brother is a danger to anyone. You would really rather they potentially go to jail instead of finding out what made them act out of character like this? Your own brother who you get along with most of the time to the point where you live together?

What does calling the police actually to to help the situation here?
 
Hope a lot of folks here are just trolling. Jail? a few punches, etc.? I mean if its not in his character or a normal a thing and you guys get along most of the time, than you really just need to talk and find out what the fuck happened in his head. Also obviously tell him that shit is not going to fly if you guys are living together and see his response, etc. Personally I would have just rumbled than and fought back. Might have made the whole thing simpler...
 
Hope a lot of folks here are just trolling. Jail? a few punches, etc.? I mean if its not in his character or a normal a thing and you guys get along most of the time, than you really just need to talk and find out what the fuck happened in his head. Also obviously tell him that shit is not going to fly if you guys are living together and see his response, etc. Personally I would have just rumbled than and fought back. Might have made the whole thing simpler...

Or it escalates into some other shit. I mean, I recently took some punches from a brother as well, because he's fucking nuts and fighting back might've meant he went for the damn knives.
 
?? Your sarcasm is misplaced, we're talking about several punches, not pillow-throwing. Pay attention?

Uh, I'm aware of the situation.

Why are you victim blaming. One brother was there minding his own business when his psycho nutcase sibling threw a pillow at him. What if he starts throwing more substantial objects? What if he starts throwing soft pillows at cars? He could cause all kinds of harm.

A person with so little control over their emotions cannot be trusted. You said it yourself. Family is irrelevant here. I'm asking you Morrigan Stark to step up and do the right thing and engage the police for the good of society.
 
I know it's not really the point of the thread. But don't put your TV in a communal area if you're gonna get possessive over it, just move it out of the way so someone can put an actual communal TV there.

Also, sounds like you could do with spending less time near each other, a TV in your room might do you good. Find the space.
 
As ridiculous as it sounds, wouldn't the pillow throw be an offence? I've seen a charge to that effect here in Canada.

I know it sounds crazy, but it's true.
 
Press charges, stop living with him, cut him out of your life.
Cut his brother out of his life because they got into one petty fight? I am actually impressed how someone can write so few words and give such terrible advice.

Couldn't even sift through all the overdramatic posts on this topic including OP for calling the cops on his brother. lawd have merc lol...
 
OP, you kind of forced him against the wall by pulling a 'I own that shit'. His reaction is probably not about the pillow, but what I'm going to assume is his shame about not owning stuff (like his life), you know, the whole 'insulted masculinity' thing. If you life together for non-financial reasons it's time to call it and go live solo. However, I imagine that's not the case (unemployment and having no prospects sucks, and a major source for depression, which actually can manifest as uncontrolled emotion, like anger and rage). The only alternative if the reason is financial is a "we have to talk"-talk, because he's probably wallowing in his sense of justification when he knows that's not true. Do not let this fester. If he's willing to be violent now, and not come to terms with that behavior not being in line with social behavior, he's not going to get better at managing them on his own.

So basically either you two need help or you can take a chance on splitting up. I'd recommend help considering violence of this kind is not normal behavior and avoiding dealing with it might spiral into something worse.
 
Uh, I'm aware of the situation.

Why are you victim blaming. One brother was there minding his own business when his psycho nutcase sibling threw a pillow at him. What if he starts throwing more substantial objects? What if he starts throwing soft pillows at cars? He could cause all kinds of harm.

A person with so little control over their emotions cannot be trusted. You said it yourself. Family is irrelevant here. I'm asking you Morrigan Stark to step up and do the right thing and engage the police for the good of society.

Good point. This time it was a pillow. Next time it could be a lamp or a plate or even a rock that he throws. Family plays no role in that.
 
As ridiculous as it sounds, wouldn't the pillow throw be an offence? I've seen a charge to that effect here in Canada.

I know it sounds crazy, but it's true.

It is true. Everyone is overlooking that his act incited the physical altercation. Throwing that object is enough for him to have charges pressed against him as well
 
I've had arguments with my brother but jesus. Just take that TV into your bedroom if you always want control of it. Learn to communicate with your brother if you live with him. Why are you even living with your brother?
 
Hope a lot of folks here are just trolling. Jail? a few punches, etc.? I mean if its not in his character or a normal a thing and you guys get along most of the time, than you really just need to talk and find out what the fuck happened in his head. Also obviously tell him that shit is not going to fly if you guys are living together and see his response, etc. Personally I would have just rumbled than and fought back. Might have made the whole thing simpler...

Yep, DDT his ass through the coffee table and he'll move quick the next time you want to play PS4.
 
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I say jail time.

That poor pillow
 
I've asked you already and you've conveniently ignored it, but what is gained by going to the police instead to talking to him about it first? If this was you, would you care more about attempting to repair the relationship and move on, or get justice for the sake of justice?

Remember, OPs story himself said this is the first time it's happened and he doesn't feel his brother is a danger to anyone. You would really rather they potentially go to jail instead of finding out what made them act out of character like this? Your own brother who you get along with most of the time to the point where you live together?

What does calling the police actually to to help the situation here?

I don't disagree that it's perfectly fine and reasonable to try and talk to him first, if you think the brother is open to talking. But I don't know the brother or what the relationship is like, so I am also perfectly fine with someone deciding that physical violence over the most trivial of "provocation" is a dealbreaker and something they refuse to tolerate. And if they think the brother's anger management issues are potentially dangerous, then sure, call the cops. People are assuming that'd result in jail, which is actually just a weird assumption, but who knows, if OP is in the US maybe he would indeed go to jail since you can go to jail for anything over there. *shrugs*

Btw, I didn't "conveniently ignore" anything, I just missed it. I'm at work and often scrolling fast and not reading every post. Maybe show some good faith next time instead of attributing motives.

Uh, I'm aware of the situation.

Why are you victim blaming. One brother was there minding his own business when his psycho nutcase sibling threw a pillow at him. What if he starts throwing more substantial objects? What if he starts throwing soft pillows at cars? He could cause all kinds of harm.

A person with so little control over their emotions cannot be trusted. You said it yourself. Family is irrelevant here. I'm asking you Morrigan Stark to step up and do the right thing and engage the police for the good of society.
Cute, equating a harmless pillow with repeated punches. You are not arguing remotely in good faith, so why don't you stop wasting your time writing this nonsense.
 
I don't disagree that it's perfectly fine and reasonable to try and talk to him first, if you think the brother is open to talking. But I don't know the brother or what the relationship is like, so I am also perfectly fine with someone deciding that physical violence over the most trivial of "provocation" is a dealbreaker and something they refuse to tolerate. And if they think the brother's anger management issues are potentially dangerous, then sure, call the cops. People are assuming that'd result in jail, which is actually just a weird assumption, but who knows, if OP is in the US maybe he would indeed go to jail since you can go to jail for anything over there. *shrugs*

Btw, I didn't "conveniently ignore" anything, I just missed it. I'm at work and often scrolling fast and not reading every post. Maybe show some good faith next time instead of attributing motives.


Cute, equating a harmless pillow with repeated punches. You are not arguing remotely in good faith, so why don't you stop wasting your time writing this nonsense.

I'm asking you what you would do if it was your sibling. Someone who had no history of violence and who you got along with up until now.
 
I'm asking you what you would do if it was your sibling. Someone who had no history of violence and who you got along with up until now.

I already posted about that earlier. If my brother went nuts and started punching me at the slightest provocation, I'd probably press charges, yeah. Or I'd tell him I'll press charges unless he agreed to get counselling for his issues. Then again, my brother has always been very quick to anger, though never violent (not since he's an adult anyway). If he turned some of his anger into physical violence he'd be pretty damn scary, even if he's not a big man.

Edit: FWIW, over here, a first offense for "simple assault" ("voie de faits simple") that didn't result in serious bodily harm would be extremely unlikely to result in a jail sentence.

Again, I'm female, if that changes anything. (Some have said it doesn't, others that it absolutely changes everything, sooooo w/e)
 
I think this is one of the most GAF topics I have ever read.

OP

We have lived together for a year now and this is our first fight.

Chances are it's an amalgamation of pent up issues living with each other that have boiled over. Most people liable to crack like this because of serious anger issues will do so far more often within a one year period. I say that of both you and your brother.

Males, let alone brothers, often thanks to our evolutionary roots, can have skirmishes, power-plays and tussles when in each others company. I would expect this more from kids or young teenagers though, but adults are still males. Most just find ways by the time they are 20, let alone 30 to control their emotions better (yes, anger is an emotion every human has) and handle rivalries with family members in productive ways.

Can't say too much more about anyone without more info. You didn't deserve to be attacked in the way you were if the story is 100% factual. Instigating a response by throwing a pillow was dumb, though, but as I said above it's probably an amalgamation of the two of you struggling to live together in harmony. Very few siblings want to be living together in their 30s.

As for reporting to the police, I think that's a bit of projection from most. Or posters trying to be funny. Reading your OP and the part I quoted makes it seem far more likely it's a wind-up situation that was just waiting to explode over something stupid. Some people blanket "anger issues" as if its the anger which is the problem, and it's not. The anger is normal, due to things such as I said, a breakdown in communication/ability to live together. It's often how someone responds to anger, either internally or externally which can be the issue. Anger is healthy and normal when responded to appropriately. In this situation, the anger is likely the sign this one year living together has not worked or functioned as either of you have wanted.
 
Ermmm, from my experience, brothers do fight. But its up to you if you want to file charges or not.

If it was my brother, I would just not talk to him for a year or two and see where that get us, but filing is a bit too much when it comes to siblings fight.
 
I already posted about that earlier. If my brother went nuts and started punching me at the slightest provocation, I'd probably press charges, yeah. Or I'd tell him I'll press charges unless he agreed to get counselling for his issues. Then again, my brother has always been very quick to anger, though never violent (not since he's an adult anyway). If he turned some of his anger into physical violence he'd be pretty damn scary, even if he's not a big man.

Again, I'm female, if that changes anything. (Some have said it doesn't, others that it absolutely changes everything, sooooo w/e)

Ok, we'll I think someone who would sell their own family up the river after the first instance of something like this (especially when OPs account of events isn't even consistent) is as bad as the person who initiated the violence in the first place. You're not protecting anyone or helping the situation by calling the police, you're just looking to get revenge. It doesn't accomplish anything except make matters worse.

Some thing are about more than what's right and what's wrong in the eyes of the law and this is a perfect example of it.
 
So your little brother bruised you up some over a dumb spat that happened to escalate uncharacteristically this one particular time in your entire lives...escalation that you provoked physically to begin with...and you intentionally did not defend yourself at all, just so that you would have a more airtight case for when you'd be pressing assault charges against him afterwards to see him locked up over it?

Sounds like there might be some alternative approaches to this whole thing not involving premeditated abject cowardice and the wholesale destruction of your brother's life via felony jail time to satisfy your wounded ego. But you do you, I guess.
 
Cute, equating a harmless pillow with repeated punches. You are not arguing remotely in good faith, so why don't you stop wasting your time writing this nonsense.

Getting hit with pretty much anything sizable can hurt if you're not expecting it. If your mouth is open it can mess up your jaw, clack it shut, or make you bite your tongue. Whipped with sufficient force even the softest pillow can put strain on your neck. As someone else said, he could have had a hot beverage, or some part of it could've hit him in the eye. Trying to block/catch it could have messed up his fingers.

Again, two options here:

1) Admittedly otherwise-normal brother with no history of violence inexplicably snapped and beat the shit out of him.
2) The story has several key details left out or enhanced.

Of course, if the OP posts those pictures of the bruises and they turn out to be gnarly I'll definitely say the brother should encounter some serious ramifications, but I still have the feeling there's more to the story.
 
Ok, we'll I think someone who would sell their own family up the river after the first instance of something like this (especially when OPs account of events isn't even consistent) is as bad as the person who initiated the violence in the first place. You're not protecting anyone or helping the situation by calling the police, you're just looking to get revenge. It doesn't accomplish anything except make matters worse.

Some thing are about more than what's right and what's wrong in the eyes of the law and this is a perfect example of it.

Huh? I'd be protecting myself for sure, and potentially others, if he's the kind of guy that flies of the handle at the slightest provocation.

Also, see my edit. It's not like his entire life would be ruined forever, not in my country anyway. It'd just be a lesson and a deterrent to not do it again. I don't know about Australia, though.

Getting hit with pretty much anything sizable can hurt if you're not expecting it. If your mouth is open it can mess up your jaw, clack it shut, or make you bite your tongue. Whipped with sufficient force even the softest pillow can put strain on your neck. As someone else said, he could have had a hot beverage, or some part of it could've hit him in the eye. Trying to block/catch it could have messed up his fingers.
Uh, sure, if we're making up hypothetical details that would make the initial contact worse than it seems, then we'd have to consider that... but I mean, why are we speculating about this again? What's the point?

"Strain on your neck", lol, and people call others "pussies"...
 
I'm the only one who think OP is lying about the mother visiting them? Pretty sure they both still live with her.
 
Deflecting



I'm not saying this shit isn't petty lol. But if someone is using my shit and telling me to "fuck off" when I ask to use it, then I'm going to have a problem with that. Edit: I wouldn't throw a pillow but I'd take my shit back. But that's just me.

It's not a deflection I just can't abide an unsolved mystery.

Here you go, plenty of people quoted his post:

(Thread title-"4 Year Old Boy's Last Wish Is For A Star Wars Funeral")

Thanks, I forgot I could click to see the whole thread from the linked post.
 
Growing up with 2 brothers we've gotten into physical alterations many times, I was once kicked into a closet, and another time I was put through a drawer that was sitting on the floor. Never once in my 30 years of life have I ever thought about calling the cops on them for stuff like that.
 
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