• Hey Guest. Check out your NeoGAF Wrapped 2025 results here!

Physically assaulted and wondering about what to do next

Status
Not open for further replies.
CarpeDeezNutz said:
The "threw a soft pillow" comment makes me think about the threads where more information comes out that paints the OP in a different light. We only know your side. I never had a brother but i grew up with relatives about the same age where we gave as good as we got, we were kids though.
Click to expand...

Exactly what I thought. The next post will be about how he actually winged it at him and the zipper caught him in the eye.
 
If you want him gone you can press charges, file for a TRO tomorrow morning, and kick him out of your place.

That said, it is your brother so if this is the first time something like this has happened maybe you can talk to him first?
 
FZeroRacer said:
The adult thing to do is not to punch the shit out of your family in the first place, no matter how angry you get.

Also people saying 'both of you are manchildren!' when one resorted to actual violence is some shit.
Click to expand...

I don't know man... Adults also don't fight over the TV or throw pillows at each other. Just saying.

I know the response he received was disproportionate but it sounds like they both need to sit down to talk out their differences and see if they can come to an agreement moving forwards. If not, then it's time for one of them to move out.

Going to the police solves nothing. In a scenario like this that's the adult equivalent of "I'm telling mummy and daddy".
 
As a 30 year old man, you deliberately didn't fight back so you could claim it as assault?

So you can get try to your brother locked up because you can't be assertive enough to get some TV time?

The fuck?
 
op, lets just cut to the chase. lure your brother to a giant cistern, and push him in.
all your problems solved.

unless you know...dream coat.
 
Can you post pix of the damage, OP? You make it sound like he jumped you and messed you up.

I mean, it's not okay either way but I'm imagining dark bloody bruises and if you were assaulted like that you should get him therapy at the very least. If not for your sake then everybody else's.
 
Talk to both your brother and mother first and see if you can resolve anything.

if you do decide to go to the cops keep the following things in mind.

by your own admission you started the physical fight by throwing a pillow.
by your own admission before your brother assaulted you, you may have technically committed Battery "Battery was defined at common law as "any unlawful and or unwanted touching of the person of another by the aggressor, or by a substance put in motion by him.""
You only have a witness for the very end of the fight. anything before that is going to be his word against yours, and no doubt his version of the events will have you being far more violent in your initial attack than you personally think you were. Especially since he is already claiming self defense.
you claim you didn't fight back after he came after you, but the simple fact is you already attacked him.

I'm not saying that you aren't a victim of your brothers assault, but more that it's not clear cut. No doubt you could likely get charges pressed against him if you wanted, but it's also possible that he could also get charges pressed against you if you went that route (and likely would at least try) and depending on how things played out it isn't even beyond the realm of possibility that since you initiated that situation by attacking him with a pillow that you could have a crime tagged to your name while he could get off with a self defense (not very likely especially since you have wounds and he doesn't, but not impossible)

If this isn't a pattern of abuse, it's far better to not potentially ruin both of your futures over a single fight like this. If you own the ps4 and the TV reclaim them by figuring out how to make room for them. And if this fight is going to be an issue, likely try to figure out the best way to no longer live with him, but given you are family, if this is a single incident, I would not personally recommend pressing charges, especially since it will basically make it impossible for you to have a proper family get together ever again.

though again don't ignore the fight in general. attacking like that is unacceptable and he should go to therapy or something.
 
He's 29 and you are 31. It's long past the point where fists thrown have little consequence. He should know better.

Up to you whether you report him to the police, but you need to drill into his skull that this was unacceptable. Punching someone because they're family and you can get away with is not OK. It's what physical abusers do and how they justify to themselves that they are kings of the house and whatever they do goes.
 
If he did it to you, he might do the same to a girlfriend/wife. Your brother has anger issues and might have a side to him you're not aware of, until now. Don't ignore it.
 
TheVampire said:
It was all over the TV and my brother!

Im 31 and he is 29 and we live together in our own small house.

I wanted to play a game as he had been using the TV for a few hours already but he didn't want to give it up. I suggested how about an hour later and he said no again. I sarcastically reminded him that I technically own the PS4 and TV......not as If I would actually lug that big TV away into my room where there's no space for it anyway and he told me to fuck off.

So I tossed a soft pillow at his back in my frustration and walked away and then he went into a rage and ran after me punched me in the back hard four or five times and once in the face all while I had my hands up in the air not defending myself at all because if I did that it would've been a fight and this was now an assault.

My mum who had came to visit that day saw the last of the assault being my face getting cracked and I have pictures of the bruises to my back.

He reckons he was defending himself....against a once off soft pillow throw which I then walked away from.

He can be a real dick sometimes so Im wondering what I should do about this like going to the cops and filing an assault charge or not?
We have lived together for a year now and this is our first fight.
Click to expand...

zulux21 said:
Talk to both your brother and mother first and see if you can resolve anything.

if you do decide to go to the cops keep the following things in mind.

by your own admission you started the physical fight by throwing a pillow.
by your own admission before your brother assaulted you, you may have technically committed Battery "Battery was defined at common law as "any unlawful and or unwanted touching of the person of another by the aggressor, or by a substance put in motion by him.""
You only have a witness for the very end of the fight. anything before that is going to be his word against yours, and no doubt his version of the events will have you being far more violent in your initial attack than you personally think you were. Especially since he is already claiming self defense.
you claim you didn't fight back after he came after you, but the simple fact is you already attacked him.

I'm not saying that you aren't a victim of your brothers assault, but more that it's not clear cut. No doubt you could likely get charges pressed against him if you wanted, but it's also possible that he could also get charges pressed against you if you went that route (and likely would at least try) and depending on how things played out it isn't even beyond the realm of possibility that since you initiated that situation by attacking him with a pillow that you could have a crime tagged to your name while he could get off with a self defense (not very likely especially since you have wounds and he doesn't, but not impossible)

If this isn't a pattern of abuse, it's far better to not potentially ruin both of your futures over a single fight like this. If you own the ps4 and the TV reclaim them by figuring out how to make room for them. And if this fight is going to be an issue, likely try to figure out the best way to no longer live with him, but given you are family, if this is a single incident, I would not personally recommend pressing charges, especially since it will basically make it impossible for you to have a proper family get together ever again.
Click to expand...

and now I've preserved the evidence of your 1st post to support this.
 
always crazy bacon said:
In legal terms, YOU assaulted him 1st. Legally as that's the road you want to go down, it was self defense.

What's the outcome you are looking for? Sue your brother, put him in jail?
Click to expand...

Four punches to the back and one to the face is not a reasonable response to having a soft pillow thrown at your back. You can defend yourself, but it has to be reasonable to the original assault.

But self defense in all jurisdictions I know about has to be reasonable, i.e. proportional. Punching someone 5 times in response to being hit once lightly with a soft pillow is not in any respect reasonable.

So when he hit me as i walked away, it was not self defense, it was a new assault.
 
TheVampire said:
Hes not and we get along 90% of the time but im pissed right now
Click to expand...

Was this was a crazy one off event and not a regular occurrence? I'm absolutely appalled by the number of people willing to have a family member arrested. Family, when crazy shit happens, can make things very raw and emotional. Is it worth ruining your brothers life over?

Why not have a serious sit down with him and discuss what happened? That kind of violent response isn't normal for someone above the age of freaking 12.Is there something else going on? Do you have a friend to mediate the discussion? It may help to show how serious you are about it. Let him know your not seeking charges but throw out an ultimatum that if shit like that happens again, you'll do X. And maybe seek a sincere apology?
 
Figgles said:
Exactly what I thought. The next post will be about how he actually winged it at him and the zipper caught him in the eye.
Click to expand...

Pillows can be pretty deadly.

jPKMH1.gif
 
You're adults and behave like this? Really?

Move the TV and PS4 into your room if thats the way you two behave
 
The pillow doesn't matter compared to the response. OP will come out on top there.

But it's your brother, so do what you think is best.
 
Depending on where you're at, you did start the shit. I'm not one to say a throw pillow equals fist, but yeah..maybe have some self control next time. Good luck to you..

Edit--

Yeah. Read the laws in your state. I'm guessing "I wanna watch TV" isn't enough to justify "assault" on someone. Again, assault is defined by the laws where you live..
 
FUME5 said:
As a 30 year old man, you deliberately didn't fight back so you could claim it as assault?

So you can get try to your brother locked up because you can't be assertive enough to get some TV time?

The fuck?
Click to expand...

Yeah I'm starting to wonder what the other brother's version of events are...before anyone jumps on the sue sue sue USA USA bandwagon. Fuck y'all love lawyers don't ya.

Also the both of you "grown men" need to grow the fuck up.
 
Sorry OP, but this sounds absolutely pathetic. Two adults fighting over who gets to use the TV for fuck's sake? What are you 8?

Also, don't press charges against your brother, that's a dick move.
GHG said:
You want to file for assult against your brother over a petty fight involving the TV that started with a pillow being thrown...?
Click to expand...
This.

Honestly, wow...

Edit: this is literally one of the saddest things I've read on GAF in a long time. People like you give us a bad name OP, for shame.
 
at this point this needs to become a sitcom plot, with one brother being a lawyer, and the other being a policeman, and both using their full knowledge of the law.
 
You're brother was wrong, but I mean you're grown men. Seems like something you could work out. I'm sure any arresting officer or judge would be like, c'mon guys.
 
You should buy another TV.

Seeing as the two of you are only 2 years apart and are now living together in a small house you have seen WAY to much of each other. I cant imagine spending that much time with my brother, especially if we had to cohabitate with only 1 TV. Personal space is a premium in your home especially if its with a family member.
 
Ozzy Onya A2Z said:
Yeah I'm starting to wonder what the other brother's version of events are...before anyone jumps on the sue sue sue USA USA bandwagon. Fuck y'all love lawyers don't ya.

Also the both of you "grown men" need to grow the fuck up.
Click to expand...


I imagine it might be something like

"So I was just trying to enjoy my video games when my brother started yelling at me about he wanted to play games. I tried to ignore him, but then the bastard grabbed a pillow and repeatedly hit me with it. I tried to tell him to stop, but he went mad with anger, afraid he was going to escalate things even more I defended myself hitting him a few times before getting one solid hit on the face. After that he calmed down so I no longer felt threatened and thus stopped defending myself. My mother however only saw the very end and thinks that I was the attacking him, and now he is thinking about pressing charges against me. What should I do GAF?"

I mean one side of a story like this is never enough to pass judgement. and even the OP might not even know the actual events anymore. I forget the actual term for it, but people often rewrite their own memories in stressful situations to more fit with what they want to believe how things played out.

for the record I am not saying that you are lying OP, I am not saying that you hit him repeatedly. I am just pointing out that the story I just said could easily be your brothers version of the story.

and again, if this has happened multiple times get yourself out of that situation ASAP, but if this is a one time thing, you likely want to try to work it out, perhaps even with family consoling (which would also get the events on record to a degree)
 
TheVampire said:
It was all over the TV and my brother!
Click to expand...
You're the older brother and you need to consult the internet on what to do involving a dispute with a family member? You are 31. What? This doesn't compute.

We cannot do anything, you're probably omitting like 300 details to make yourself look good like so many others have. I'm sorry OP. You have to be a man and go handle this. Make a logical appeal to him, talk to other family, something. Does he always act like this? You don't want the authorities involved, it'll just tie everything up for you and then you'll be saying "Shit, I could have handled this better".
 
If this story is true, he has got to go. File charges or whatever. There are definitely going to be more fights.
 
GAF is going to town on you, OP so I won't say anything other than I don't know whether to find your reaction as your brother laid into you depressing or hilarious.
 
I wouldn't press charges but I would insist that he should seek some help.
It'll happen again one day, not necessarily to you.

I'd understand if he yelled or threw the pillow back at you, but he went too far.
 
soundscream said:
You should buy another TV.

Seeing as the two of you are only 2 years apart and are now living together in a small house you have seen WAY to much of each other. I cant imagine spending that much time with my brother, especially if we had to cohabitate with only 1 TV. Personal space is a premium in your home especially if its with a family member.
Click to expand...

this this this this this

I grew up with my older brother up and were at each other's throats from my birth up until he moved out of my parents' in his early 20s.

I can't imagine being in my mid 20s or 30s cooped up with him for long periods of time with ONE TV!
----

get a 2nd TV, put it in another room.
if you both want to be on the PS4, then buy a 2nd PS4
 
zulux21 said:
I imagine it might be something like

"So I was just trying to enjoy my video games when my brother started yelling at me about he wanted to play games. I tried to ignore him, but then the bastard grabbed a pillow and repeatedly hit me with it. I tried to tell him to stop, but he went mad with anger, afraid he was going to escalate things even more I defended myself hitting him a few times before getting one solid hit on the face. After that he calmed down so I no longer felt threatened and thus stopped defending myself. My mother however only saw the very end and thinks that I was the attacking him, and now he is thinking about pressing charges against me. What should I do GAF?"

I mean one side of a story like this is never enough to pass judgement. and even the OP might not even know the actual events anymore. I forget the actual term for it, but people often rewrite their own memories in stressful situations to more fit with what they want to believe how things played out.

for the record I am not saying that you are lying OP, I am not saying that you hit him repeatedly. I am just pointing out that the story I just said could easily be your brothers version of the story.

and again, if this has happened multiple times get yourself out of that situation ASAP, but if this is a one time thing, you likely want to try to work it out, perhaps even with family consoling (which would also get the events on record to a degree)
Click to expand...

"my older brother said he'd wait an hour for his turn on the PlayStation but when he returned I told him I was almost as the save point and then he could play. He flew into a rage and grabbed the nearest thing he could to assault me with which fortunately was a soft item and not a glass bottle. He kept shouting and coming at me and as a LITTLE BROTHER he's done this all his life and I felt threatened and regrettably had to defend myself."

When you sue someone, it's not about who's right or wrong. It's about who's lawyer knows the law best. Neither brother has an independent witness.
 
I'll never understand folks that want to see family in jail. Especially after a first offense. What happened to talking things through? Nope. Throw the fucker in jail. Smh.
 
I always thought Aussie-rules brother to brother conflict resolution typically involved locking the offender in a room with a rabid koala for 30 minutes. No?
 
What the fuck @ people defending this because "he's your brother". Assuming the facts are as stated, what his brother did was beyond fucked up. Throwing punches over something so petty? Yeah, I'd absolutely press charges against my brother if he did that to me.

"First offense", SMH, he's a grown man who repeatedly punched someone over the pettiest thing, and he already showed he wasn't open to talking. There are no excuses.


FUME5 said:
As a 30 year old man, you deliberately didn't fight back so you could claim it as assault?

So you can get try to your brother locked up because you can't be assertive enough to get some TV time?

The fuck?
Click to expand...
This post.... That you think OP's actions are more fucked up than being repeatedly punched over throwing a pillow at someone being a dick says a lot about your priorities.
 
____ said:
I'll never understand folks that want to see family in jail. Especially after a first offense. What happened to talking things through? Nope. Throw the fucker in jail. Smh.
Click to expand...

That's kind of the problem - his brother doesn't seem to be able to talk things through.
 
fuck this,
as a younger brother with a 2 year gap myslef, I hereby side with your younger brother

how dare my older brother press charges on me?
 
Status
Not open for further replies.

Similar threads

  • Locked
I was wondering where do Ban users go after neogaf?
40
491
DKehoe replied
What do you think about age differences in relationships?
2 3 4
198
3K
Outlier replied
Remember Elizabeth Smart? From kidnapping and sexual assault survivor to champion bodybuilder
3
163
Bojji replied
What would you do if you got this email?
Opinion  2
59
69
Go_Ly_Dow replied
  • Poll
Godzilla fans what do you prefer... Shin or Minus One
32
394
Trilobit replied
Top Bottom