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[SocksAndShoes]

People saying "this isn't your problem OP" are a bit off, OP has to live with this in a place with a potential thief and he's been accused of theft. It's very much his problem at this point.

OP: I would get them both in a room and talk about it. If he's lying it might be obvious and the blame could shift from you to him from her perspective. That'll take some of the pressure off.

You'll still have to deal with living with a thief though if it turns out to be him, but it's definitely better to take a situation like this head-on than putting your head in the sand.

OP doesn't need to play Dr. Phil. The roommate who had money stolen needs to involve the authorities. OP has made himself more culpable here by looking through someone's wallet. Poorly handled all around.

 

[BlazinSkatinAxel]

Sounds like a trap house

 

[foodtaster]

so you accuse some other dude of having stole some money while admitting to going in his room without his permission?

all of the evidence you've presented makes you the thief.

 

[Reset]

Op is thr thief. He has no problems going through other people's stuff when they're not there. Wouldn't be surprised if he stole the guys $300 either.

Ask the dude straight up if he has any cash on hand that you can borrow. If he says no, then at least you know he's a liar.

After that, who knows.

How does that make him a liar? I wouldn't lend money to someone I barely know or interact with.

 

[OG Shaka Zulu]

Does your roommate get intoxicated? She may.have replaced it then. Why don't you mofos lock your rooms?

If kid #3 actually did it then he's a G. That's fucked up that she let him off the hook and came at you like that. You don't even have to interrogate him, that's her job.

 

[Poppy]

at why the Chinese guy gotta be the thief OP

if you accept white privilege exists you also have to accept that since we are the most privileged we never would need to steal since we already have everything, thus we are above suspicion

checkmate

 

[Jack The Nipper]

Show her a screen shot of Gaf and then start a Gofundme...

I have had money stolen before when I was about 18 and my uncle took it out of my room for drugs and lied to my grandmother about forgetting something in my room. I'm really not that hung up on money to take it or trick people for it honestly. People are so wound up on money (like my roommates apparently) that they forget how to treat people in my mind.

For the record, she knows I go to gaf but she hardly cares or understands it apparently

People saying "this isn't your problem OP" are a bit off, OP has to live with this in a place with a potential thief and he's been accused of theft. It's very much his problem at this point.

OP: I would get them both in a room and talk about it. If he's lying it might be obvious and the blame could shift from you to him from her perspective. That'll take some of the pressure off.

You'll still have to deal with living with a thief though if it turns out to be him, but it's definitely better to take a situation like this head-on than putting your head in the sand.

This was one of my thoughts for sure, but I have to convince her to be a little head strong in talking to him and actually doing it.

 

[MadLaughter]

How does that make him a liar? I wouldn't lend money to someone I barely know or interact with.

If he says no to HAVING money, he's a liar. He's totally within his rights to say "I'd rather not loan it out'.

 

[NoblesseOblige]

Rent is $1000, to live with two other people?

 

[Zakalwe]

OP doesn't need to play Dr. Phil. The roommate who had money stolen needs to involve the authorities. OP has made himself more culpable here by looking through someone's wallet. Poorly handled all around.

Lol @ "Dr Phil".

Op doesn't have to say anything about looking through the guy's stuff. No one will know that. Obviously he shouldn't have done it, but unless OP feels the need to fess-up it's really beside the point for this specific issue.

The money might not be stolen. The money might be lost. Having a discussion about it like adults is not being "Dr Phil".

Of course, even if this is resolved OP is the guy who will go through other people's stuff first, so if it turns out it was all a misunderstanding the other two will be left with MR snoopy pants and OP should then turn himself in to the police.

 

[BronsonLee]

if you accept white privilege exists you also have to accept that since we are the most privileged we never would need to steal since we already have everything, thus we are above suspicion

checkmate

...I see no flaws in this

I stole the money, OP

 

[Pattycakes]

For the record, she knows I go to gaf but she hardly cares or understands it apparently .

Show her your neogaf profile. That went well for someone else

 

[Jack The Nipper]

Does your roommate get intoxicated? She may.have replaced it then. Why don't you mofos lock your rooms?

If kid #3 actually did it then he's a G. That's fucked up that she let him off the hook and came at you like that. You don't even have to interrogate him, that's her job.

No, he is more like a child that has a strange smile when he walks back in quickly from the door to his room.

It is common for people to blame those they know and be nice to strangers or think good of others though

 

[SocksAndShoes]

The money might not be stolen. The money might be lost.

These are definitely things the authorities need to figure out. Not OP.

 

[Dabanton]

Tbh once you have a potential thief in the house, it's a very nasty situation especially among friends.

You can no longer leave anything open like the door to your room. Or even stuff like your phone or games consoles around.

You should call a house meeting.

 

[Gotdatmoney]

You didn't take it. She refuses to confront the other roommatw about it. All you can do is say "no I didn't take it" and leave it at that. If it's gonna be a huge point of contention then its time to peace the fuck out sadly. Don't go through people shit man. You just got accused of doing that, wtf are you playing that game?

 

[Zakalwe]

These are definitely things the authorities need to figure out. Not OP.

Nope. Adults can have a conversation about these things without calling the police first.

Tbh once you have a potential thief in the house, it's a very nasty situation especially among friends.

You can no longer leave anything open like the door to your room. Or even stuff like your phone or games consoles around.

You should call a house meeting.

Yes.

House meeting. Speak about it like adults. If nothing is resolved then call relevant authorities.

 

[TyrantII]

Things not to do, the thread

 

[Sho_Nuff82]

Rent is $1000, to live with two other people?

Welcome to Boston/NYC.

Honestly, I wouldn't have cash like that on my person unless I was imminently going to gamble, a bar crawl, or on vacation.

You've got two roommates who are careless enough to leave nearly a full month's rent combined just casually laying around on their dressers, and either roommate 1 is a liar, or roommate 2 is a thief. If you know you didn't do it, you tell roommate 1 to call the police, and you tell her to confront roommate 2 directly instead of getting you involved invading his privacy.

Edit 2: It almost sounds like the next step will be her asking you steal money from this dude's wallet. Don't be that dumb. If she was ballsy enough to accuse you, she can at least ask the guy straight up.

 

[SocksAndShoes]

Nope. Adults can have a conversation about these things without calling the police first.

Apparently not, since the party who potentially had money stolen wants nothing to do with hashing it out. Sounds like 100% her problem, and if she cares that much about the money she'll do something about it. OP is involving himself in a volatile situation and potentially making it worse.

 

[Zakalwe]

Apparently not, since the party who potentially had money stolen wants nothing to do with hashing it out. Sounds like 100% her problem, and if she cares that much about the money she'll do something about it. OP is involving himself in a volatile situation and potentially making it worse.

OP is involved, he has no choice. And it seems he hasn't attempted to address both parties at once.

House meeting. If they refuse to talk together or there's no satisfactory result /then/ authorities. Living with a potential thief and being accused of theft is not an acceptable situation, but first port of call should be attempting to talk to everyone at once.

Adulting isn't that hard, dude.

 

[ccbfan]

Anyone else find it weird he keeps calling the 21-22 year old Chinese roommate a "boy"?

 

[Jack The Nipper]

You didn't take it. She refuses to confront the other roommatw about it. All you can do is say "no I didn't take it" and leave it at that. If it's gonna be a huge point of contention then its time to peace the fuck out sadly. Don't go through people shit man. You just got accused of doing that, wtf are you playing that game?

I don't think that is a big deal nor would I care if people pick up and see my things.

 

[mre]

Yeah, I don't really mind if people see my things, touch them etc I don't really mind this kind of stuff that much as you or many may. I know I didn't do it, so I needed to see something that told me he really did it. Rather you or anyone agrees or disagrees with this isn't that important to me.

(A losing money) + (B having money) does not = B stealing money from A.

You've already admitted that you don't know anything about B's finances and just assume his parents send him money to cover his bills. What makes you think that's not money he's been given by his parents or others?

The only person here who has provably committed a tortious act, and potentially a criminal one, is you.

 

[Zakalwe]

Anyone else find it weird he keeps calling the 21-22 year old Chinese roommate a "boy"?

No. At that age people are pretty much in transition between child and adult, and besides I refer to 30+ adults as boys/girls all the time and most people I know do too.

Is this something problematic I should be aware of?

 

[GarthVaderUK]

I wouldn't sneak around looking through someone else's stuff like that. Don't accuse him of stealing when there's no real proof either - think how you feel being accused of the same crime, he could easily be as innocent as you, especially if this girl has a history of carelessness with expensive things like iPhones.

Best thing to do is to just gather everyone together to help look for it. She could've forgotten she set it somewhere different, or maybe it fell down the back or under something.

 

[sojour]

OP is involved, he has no choice. And it seems he hasn't attempted to address both parties at once.

House meeting. If they refuse to talk together or there's no satisfactory result /then/ authorities. Living with a potential thief and being accused of theft is not an acceptable situation, but first port of call should be attempting to talk to everyone at once.

Adulting isn't that hard, dude.

The girl should be the one initiating the conversation. If not, the OP is fine to follow up, especially with a potential thief in the house.

But again, the OP decided to look through other people's personal items/space to find evidence of thievery than confronting someone verbally about the potential problem. That ain't adulting.

 

[Jack The Nipper]

Anyone else find it weird he keeps calling the 21-22 year old Chinese roommate a "boy"?

strange only exists in what you feel is strange, so someone else likely does.

Some of you really can twist anything here, but for those of you that aren't like this you are the ones that are the cool boys in my book

 

[cameron]

I went in his room yesterday to look for it but with all his things locked and his room being a stinky huge mess with large brown cover stains and such I didn't try too hard.

About 30 minutes ago he went to shower so I figuered that was the perfect time to check his wallet as I heard him drop his keys on his table. I saw he had 300 plus a bit of change. Anyways, seems like it's a lost cause cause if I confront him he will obviously deny it and she obviously doesn't want to say or do anything about it with him.

That's messed up, man.

 

[Inferno313]

Anyone else find it weird he keeps calling the 21-22 year old Chinese roommate a "boy"?

Anyone else find it weird that "girl" is a totally acceptable thing to call a grown woman but you call a 21 year old kid "boy" and people wanna call you a racist?

 

[Zakalwe]

The girl should be the one initiating the conversation. If not, the OP is fine to follow up, especially with a potential thief in the house.

But again, the OP decided to look through other people's personal items/space to find evidence of thievery than confronting someone verbally about the potential problem. That ain't adulting.

My post covered the part about him being a snoop, not need to mention that as some kind of counter to my point because it's not.

OP is the one who's being affected with the accusation and the girl seems unreasonable.

He also wants to be proactive.

He should try to speak to both parties first, not admit to snooping, and ask them both if they can shed any light. If it doesn't work out then OP should either tell the girl to drop it or take it further, but stop accusing him without proof.

This is a no-brainer, really.

 

[Saganator]

Step 1: Approach roommate
Step 2: Say, "Hey man, just wondering if you found any cash in this laptop bag or laying around? Room mate seems to have misplaced $400"
Step 3: "No? Okay well if you see a wad of cash laying around, it's room mate's"

If the dude stole it, he probably won't fess up, but at least you're making it known that you and the other room mate know that money is missing. From here, he probably won't fess up to it if he did, but if he did do it, he MIGHT feel guilty and return the money and pretend he didn't take it. DO NOT mention you went through his shit.

If you want a bunch of drama, go ahead and accuse him. Also, tell your roommate she's a cunt for immediately accusing you.

 

[Maintenance]

Waiting for the movie adaptation.

 

[SocksAndShoes]

Adulting isn't that hard, dude.

Someone should let OP know that. Adults don't go through other adults wallets when they're in the shower.

Again, as I said, poorly handled all around.

 

[Sho_Nuff82]

I don't think that is a big deal nor would I care if people pick up and see my things.

GTFO with this shit. If I caught one of my roommates rifling through my clothes when I came out of the shower I'd have to rethink my entire living situation, and he would quickly learn not to do that again.

 

[LookAtMeGo]

God damn. Were they actually sorry, or acting like they were "letting" you back in?

She actually kept it a secret that she found it for a while but then she told one of her friends and it got out. Tried to play it off as if I had still stolen the money for a while after she found it lol. They apologized and I dort of became friends with a few of them again but the one who accused me in the first place never apologized to this day.

 

[Transhuman]

To make this as short as possible my roomate put her money inside a laptop bag in our room. Her money went missing and she completely blamed me as soon as she couldn't find it.

So why

 

[sojour]

My post covered the part about him being a snoop, not need to mention that as some kind of counter to my point because it's not.

OP is the one who's being affected with the accusation and the girl seems unreasonable.

He also wants to be proactive.

He should try to speak to both parties first, not admit to snooping, and ask them both if they can shed any light. If it doesn't work out then OP should either tell the girl to drop it or take it further, but stop accusing him without proof.

This is a no-brainer, really.

Tell the OP that, not me. I'm not going through other people's possessions.

 

[Gotdatmoney]

I don't think that is a big deal nor would I care if people pick up and see my things.

Frankly who gives a shit how you would feel about it? When you live with roommates there is an expectation that you dont rummage through their shit. Going through his shit is a no. What if you got caught? Would that make you look innocent after just being accused of stealing?

I can't believe you are even downplaying this.

 

[E92 M3]

If I lived with roommates, I'd have IP cameras all over my room.

 

[Jack The Nipper]

I wouldn't sneak around looking through someone else's stuff like that. Don't accuse him of stealing when there's no real proof either - think how you feel being accused of the same crime, he could easily be as innocent as you, especially if this girl has a history of losing expensive things like iPhones (twice!).

Best thing to do is to just gather everyone together to help look for it. She could've forgotten she set it somewhere different, or maybe it fell down the back or under something.

All reasonable people understand this is for people's opinions and perspectives and what one or two will do is not what another two or three will do. I realize all of this before I started this thread, I just like to see different view points is all. What one will do will obviously and usually rest on each person and what they consider doing.

The likely situation is that nothing is ever said or done about it and maybe something else goes missing down the line, mostly cause she is too reluctant to say anything to him and that will likely be it. It's her money, I feel bad for her, I really feel bad for her and that is the only reason I tried at all.

 

[kiunchbb]

If you feel bad being accused of stealing, what made you think it is alright for you to do the same to your roommate?

You even searched his room and wallet without permission. Are you sure you didn't stole the money? It seems like you are pretty comfortable with the idea of touching other people belonging without permission.

 

[Chezzymann]

Im dumb sorry

 

[brerwolfe]

OP now has $700 and change.

 

[ccbfan]

No. At that age people are pretty much in transition between child and adult, and besides I refer to 30+ adults as boys/girls all the time and most people I know do too.

Is this something problematic I should be aware of?

strange only exists in what you feel is strange, so someone else likely does.

Some of you really can twist anything here, but for those of you that aren't like this you are the ones that are the cool boys in my book

Anyone else find it weird that "girl" is a totally acceptable thing to call a grown woman but you call a 21 year old kid "boy" and people wanna call you a racist?

I'm guessing most of you aren't American cause its a commonly used term by racist to minorities.

 

[QuantumBro]

You should return the money OP.

 

[Zakalwe]

Someone should let OP know that. Adults don't go through other adults wallets when they're in the shower.

Again, as I said, poorly handled all around.

Obviously, and I've addressed that already. Doesn't counter my point.

I'm guessing most of you aren't American cause its a commonly used term by racist to minorities.

Sure, but it's more common for every day people to use it to describe anyone.

Not seeing an issue here, but then I'm a white UK Male so check my privilege for me if it needs it.

 

[Jack The Nipper]

If you feel bad being accused of stealing, what made you think it is alright for you to do the same to your roommate?

You even searched his room and wallet without permission. Are you sure you didn't stole the money? It seems like you are pretty comfortable with the idea of touching other people belonging without permission.

Sure, and the same for my things too. If you value material things so much in my mind that is the issue.

I don't feel that bad that she blamed me, that is expected in my mind. I have known her for many years and I don't feel bad about seeing his things, if the building burnt down tomorrow and all my things were lost including my work I can move on from it actually.

 

[Gotdatmoney]

I don't want to be racist

Then don't. This is so dumb and you know it.

 

[Exile20]

Op feels bad she is accusing him based on nothing while at the same time op is accusing the other guy actually going through stuff without him knowing based on nothing.