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[chicko1983]

Good luck and let us know how it goes.

I hate those Neogaf threads where you never find out what happens in the end.

This scenario in itself sounds like some sort of romantic comedy.

 

[Keysersoze]

I hope she is not playing me.

You need to find a girl you don't have to pay to talk to dude, hth.

 

[DoktorEvil]

Im honestly happy just to hang out with a hot girl who actually want to be with me (I hope). I know friendzoned is supposed to mean something negative for a lot of people, but for me friendzone is a lot better than no zone.

Then if that ends up being the case (which we hope is not, get your cake and eat it too brother), you have a good female friend that you can bounce things off of regarding relationships and sex.

 

[Timeaisis]

I got two things to say, OP.

1) Good luck and just be safe.

2) This better not be one of those threads where we never find out what happens at the end.

 

[Philia]

2) This better not be one of those threads where we never find out what happens at the end.

That's why there's the White Man's rule in place.

 

[Hermii]

I got two things to say, OP.

1) Good luck and just be safe.

2) This better not be one of those threads where we never find out what happens at the end.

1. Thanks.

2. Unless the thread get closed and I get banned or something, you will find out. Hell I cant talk to people about this in a non anonymous setting so who else am I going to tell?

I'm texting her on Monday to ask what day is good.

 

[Days like these...]

Make no mistake, a prostitute measures her time in terms of value not fun. If she's willing to date you she's either:
a) Enhancing customer fidelity
b) Expecting you to eventually and increasingly shell out other non-sex expenses, i.e. groceries, gym membership, etc.

Prostitutes are cold, long-term planners. Ruthless utilitarianism at work.

I'm just going to quote the best post in this entire thread for those of you who might have missed it

 

[Tex117]

But whatever the OP's issues with esteem and self-image, it sounds like she's trying to break him out of it. She asked him out on a date, and reassured him that it was on friendly terms. Where the OP could have had another night in this weekend, he's now going out for the evening with a girl who seems to want to be around him, if only as a friend. If it goes well, then that one date alone could do wonders for the OP's self-esteem.



He's not hiring her. They're going out as friends. Because escorts are allowed to have friends, or even people they're attracted to romantically.

And the OP is perfectly at leisure to hire escorts if and whenever he chooses. Obviously it would be a good idea to fraternise with other women as well, and hopefully this is the start of OP coming out of his shell in that regard. But there is nothing mentally or physically degrading about being with an escort, and I would love to know why you think there is.

Is it possible she really is concerned for him as a human being? Sure, lots of things are possible. That said, this also seems like a classic "take advantage of the lonely guy" or the "that stripper really was into me." Even if it isin't either of those things, I think the debate of whether she is or isn't will always be playing on the OP's mind. Thus making him feel even more worthless...the fact he may be getting played.

Further, ultimately, this women would have had nothing to do with him if he hadn't first paid her for sex at least in terms of introduction. Even if they are "friends" this doesn't change that fact...I think after all is said and done...he may even view this friendship as only something he ultimately paid for.

Physically dangerous (not degrading)...having sex with an escort carries a high risk of STDs. PERIOD.

Emotionally, maybe maybe not for the average person (from the John's perspective.)..for the women, more times than not she is a victim of sexual abuse and a host of other mental issues). The OP is already having self-esteem issues...and Im not sure hiring escorts...hanging out with said escort in a friendly way, etc. is going to help his feelings of self worth.

Im not trying to be a ultra-conservative here either. I just can't see how this could possibly be beneficial.

There are other avenues to pursue to help self-esteem.

 

[Flying Toaster]

No mini-golf?

I know right? There is at least three holes he can sink his putter into.

On a serious note this is good for the OP it gets him out and puts him in a situation that he can learn a lot from. Any social interaction is good for the OP.

 

[Hermii]

I'm just going to quote the best post in this entire thread for those of you who might have missed it

Best post if you are fucking cynical and generalizing. Escorts are as different as people in other occupations.

 

[terrisus]

I got two things to say, OP.

1) Good luck and just be safe.

2) This better not be one of those threads where we never find out what happens at the end.

1. Thanks.

2. Unless the thread get closed and I get banned or something, you will find out. Hell I cant talk to people about this in a non anonymous setting so who else am I going to tell?

I'm texting her on Monday to ask what day is good.

I think you're missing out on another reason why we might never find out what happens.

Spoiler

youarealreadydead.jpg

 

[Tex117]

1. Thanks.

2. Unless the thread get closed and I get banned or something, you will find out. Hell I cant talk to people about this in a non anonymous setting so who else am I going to tell?

I'm texting her on Monday to ask what day is good.

Look man, do what you want to do. Be safe...Im not just talking taking sexual precautions either. I think you could potentially be going down a dangerous road for you on a lot of levels.

Best post if you are fucking cynical and generalizing. Escorts are as different as people in other occupations.

Not really. 75-92% have been sexually abused as children.

Here is some information...
http://sex-crimes.laws.com/prostitution/prostitution-statistics

 

[Days like these...]

Best post if you are fucking cynical and generalizing. Escorts are as different as people in other occupations.

I'm happy for you I just don't want you to get played that's all

 

[lethial]

A present? Come on man Jesus where do you guys think up this shit?

 

[Ryaaan14]

I really hope this doesn't end with OP refusing to pay for his girlfriend experience and getting the shit beat out of him by a pimp.

 

[TitusGroan]

Is it possible she really is concerned for him as a human being? Sure, lots of things are possible. That said, this also seems like a classic "take advantage of the lonely guy" or the "that stripper really was into me." Even if it isin't either of those things, I think the debate of whether she is or isn't will always be playing on the OP's mind. Thus making him feel even more worthless...the fact he may be getting played.

Or he could just go with it for as long as he's comfortable. Which seems to be what he's doing. If she starts anything funny, OP is perfectly at liberty to break contact with her, and I'm sure he's aware of that.

Further, ultimately, this women would have had nothing to do with him if he hadn't first paid her for sex at least in terms of introduction. Even if they are "friends" this doesn't change that fact...I think after all is said and done...he may even view this friendship as only something he ultimately paid for.

How you meet someone is irrelevant. My last proper girlfriend,I met on the London Underground. Hardly the most romantic way to meet a girl. What's important here is how things have developed. This girl seems to genuinely like OP as a friend. Whether he originally paid her or not is irrelevant. In high school, I pad a guy to give me guitar lessons. We became friends later on. The fact that we started out with me giving him money to teach me guitar was irrelevant. We siimply developed beyond that.

Physically dangerous (not degrading)...having sex with an escort carries a high risk of STDs. PERIOD.

Escorts, IIRC, are regularly required by their agencies to test themselves for STDs if they want to work. Same as pornstars in fact. And pornstars have a very low rate of STD infection. Either way, OP already had sex with her. If she does, on the off-chance, have an STD, he's already been there. But I would doubt that's the case, if she is a professional escort.

Emotionally, maybe maybe not for the average person (from the John's perspective.)..for the women, more times than not she is a victim of sexual abuse and a host of other mental issues).

You're projecting. She may be perfectly fine, and simply working a job that pays decent money. We don't know. So it's best not to work off assumptions.

The OP is already having self-esteem issues...and Im not sure hiring escorts...hanging out with said escort in a friendly way, etc. is going to help his feelings of self worth.

It is when they offer to take him out on a strictly non-business date to go see a movie and have a fun time.

Have you seen Pretty Woman? I'm pretty sure that film was made exactly for you. I mean, a 90s rom-com starring Richard Gere and Julia Roberts offers up the best counterpoint to your arguments. That is how silly this debate is.

 

[Exalted Terraforce]

There has been so much great advice in this thread, idk if I could chime in anything else that could help you more. I happened to become aquatinted with an escort, became friends, no money involved, so I know your situation kinda. All I can add is don't try to rush your feelings, try to become her friend more than anything. If she wants sex, whatever cool, just make sure she initiates and definitely make sure is doesn't cost a penny. Be confident bro, it's a very admirable trait. Best of luck to ya man.

 

[Nappuccino]

OP already had sex with her. If she does, on the off-chance, have an STD, he's already been there. But I would doubt that's the case, if she is a professional escort.

Have you seen Pretty Woman? I'm pretty sure that film was made exactly for you. I mean, a 90s rom-com starring Richard Gere and Julia Roberts offers up the best counterpoint to your arguments. That is how silly this debate is.

1) STDs don't magically jump on your cock the instant you're with in range. You can easily have sex with someone who has STDs and not contract it the first time. That doesn't mean you won't get it the second time, or 10th time. "You've been there, so it's OK" is by no means a good metric.

2) Fiction is a terrible way to make life decisions. And I'm an English Major. I know this shit.

 

[MilkBeard]

I had a friend who went through a similar situation, he'd take her to the cinema, dinner etc. as friends(although I'm sure he paid for everything on these little outings) but then he'd still end up paying her for sex.

Basically she was using the friendship to make him fall harder for her and in turn he'd pay more often for her 'services', turns out she was doing this with a couple of her other clients.

Just be careful and don't read too much into it too soon.

Yeah, and that is often part of the services, i.e. 'girlfriend experience.' People usually pay for that but she knows she's got her hooks in you.
It's not that you two can't have a friendship. But she definitely intends to make money off of you, I bet. Just be aware of that and enjoy your time while in the present. Don't get attached.

 

[Tex117]

Or he could just go with it for as long as he's comfortable. Which seems to be what he's doing. If she starts anything funny, OP is perfectly at liberty to break contact with her, and I'm sure he's aware of that.

Of course, but the way the OP read, this dude's self-esteem is already in the gutter.

How you meet someone is irrelevant. My last proper girlfriend,I met on the London Underground. Hardly the most romantic way to meet a girl. What's important here is how things have developed. This girl seems to genuinely like OP as a friend. Whether he originally paid her or not is irrelevant. In high school, I pad a guy to give me guitar lessons. We became friends later on. The fact that we started out with me giving him money to teach me guitar was irrelevant. We siimply developed beyond that.

LOL, no. London Underground, guitar lessons can not equate to prostitution.

Escorts, IIRC, are regularly required by their agencies to test themselves for STDs if they want to work. Same as pornstars in fact. And pornstars have a very low rate of STD infection. Either way, OP already had sex with her. If she does, on the off-chance, have an STD, he's already been there. But I would doubt that's the case, if she is a professional escort.

You are also assuming a lot here. We have no idea who this women is.

You're projecting. She may be perfectly fine, and simply working a job that pays decent money. We don't know. So it's best not to work off assumptions.

Not projecting. Look at the statistics. [/quote]

Have you seen Pretty Woman? I'm pretty sure that film was made exactly for you. I mean, a 90s rom-com starring Richard Gere and Julia Roberts offers up the best counterpoint to your arguments. That is how silly this debate is.

Do we need to have a chat about the fact that movies aren't real life? </sarcasm>

Look, I get your point. But statistically, why take the risk when their are better alternatives out there?

 

[TitusGroan]

1) STDs don't magically jump on your cock the instant you're with in range. You can easily have sex with someone who has STDs and not contract it the first time. That doesn't mean you won't get it the second time, or 10th time. "You've been there, so it's OK" is by no means a good metric.

2) Fiction is a terrible way to make life decisions. And I'm an English Major. I know this shit.

1) Likewise, assuming that just because this girl is an escort, that means she's crawling with STDs is one hell of an assumption. I would argue that the risk of catching the STD from this one girl is no greater or less than going to a bar, picking up a girl for a one night stand, and catching an STD from her instead.

2) Fiction is great when you've got a specific point you're trying to make to someone. In this case, that escorts are still real people. If using stories and parables was good enough for Jesus, it's good enough for me.

 

[MilkBeard]

I'm gonna make an assumption here, so excuse me if I'm wrong, but I'm guessing you don't have any female friends. Whether this is a date or an outing or just an excuse to wring more money out of you somehow, it is an opportunity to become better acquainted with the opposite sex. Plus you get to see Godzilla, which sounds pretty neat. She wants to see you more often. Even if you later find out that it is just a way for her to wring money out of it, for now go into it like it isn't and have a good time.

This is a good way of looking at it. Just enjoy your time and get the experience. But don't get upset if ultimately she simply saw you as an extended business transaction.

 

[Hermii]

Look man, do what you want to do. Be safe...Im not just talking taking sexual precautions either. I think you could potentially be going down a dangerous road for you on a lot of levels.



Not really. 75-92% have been sexually abused as children.

Here is some information...
http://sex-crimes.laws.com/prostitution/prostitution-statistics

These stats are horrible. But I'm pretty sure they are different for the expensive ones in Norway, working in an apartment with an account on the internet, who takes their various precautions, and never are out on the street.

And I do agree I should stop escorting.

I really hope this doesn't end with OP refusing to pay for his girlfriend experience and getting the shit beat out of him by a pimp.

You are scaring me.

Monday is no good. lake might go dry. Gotta act faster man. I say sunday morning. she's off of her busiest day off the week and might want to do something that day.

Good point.

 

[lenovox1]

Look, I get your point. But statistically, why take the risk when their are better alternatives out there?

Whose alternatives? The OP's alternative is spending that evening alone with us. The movies aren't going to kill. He's already engaged in a relationship with this person, going to the movies doesn't suddenly take this to a level that he can never come back from after he's done it.

 

[Tex117]

1) Likewise, assuming that just because this girl is an escort, that means she's crawling with STDs is one hell of an assumption. I would argue that the risk of catching the STD from this one girl is no greater or less than going to a bar, picking up a girl for a one night stand, and catching an STD from her instead.

2) Fiction is great when you've got a specific point you're trying to make to someone. In this case, that escorts are still real people. If using stories and parables was good enough for Jesus, it's good enough for me.

We need to talk.

LOL, look at the statistics man! You can't sit here and argue that the STD risk is the same. They aren't.

Yes, she is a real person. Also, they aren't Julia Roberts.

Im starting to think you are a masterful troll.

 

[gutter_trash]

they are useful to use in car pool lanes

 

[Stuneseht]

OP, how is going out on this date going to help you with your personal issues in the long run?

 

[Hermii]

OP, how is going out on this date going to help you with your personal issues in the long run?

It wont solve all my problems so I wont do it,

 

[lenovox1]

We need to talk.

LOL, look at the statistics man! You can't sit here and argue that the STD risk is the same. They aren't.

The American statistics that may not apply to his country of origin?

 

[Tex117]

These stats are horrible. But I'm pretty sure they are different for the expensive ones in Norway, working in an apartment with an account on the internet, who takes their various precautions, and never are out on the street.

And I do agree I should stop escorting.

You may be right. You may not. It just seems like an unnecessary risk. Im not trying to be all up and moral on you. I just think you should focus on your self-esteem in other ways is all.

 

[TitusGroan]

We need to talk.

LOL, look at the statistics man! You can't sit here and argue that the STD risk is the same. They aren't.

Yes, she is a real person. Also, they aren't Julia Roberts.

Im starting to think you are a masterful troll.

Fortunately, your general opinion of dropping all contact with her seems to be the minority one in this thread.

OP is going to see Godzilla. He is taking a girl with him. A girl who says she wants to go on a friendly basis. Most people here have accepted that it is probably for the best if OP goes and has himself a nice time out, rather than being cooped up inside. Nothing more or less is required to happen than OP simply having a nice time.

 

[Acorn]

I swear this is exactly like the plot of a b movie I saw. Socially awkward guy is given a new lease of life by a prostitute.

 

[Deleted member 13876]

If you're picking her up in a car, play this song during the drive there.

 

[NotTheGuyYouKill]

What if she actually likes him for him though?

 

[Tex117]

The American statistics that may not apply to his country of origin?

Just realized he was from Norway.

http://prosentret.no/

http://www.ichrp.org/files/assets/412/140_sexual_health_eur_ch8.pdf

http://feministire.wordpress.com/tag/norway/

http://jme.bmj.com/content/early/2012/08/27/medethics-2011-100367.full

 

[Lucis]

Don't bring a nice lady to the movies if you're still in the phase "im trying to bang you" or " I genuinely like you very much and would like to get to know you better"

You can't talk during a movie thus killing the chances to get to know her. Movies are fine when she's already your girlfriend or you have had enough dates with her that you both want to see a particular movie that interests both of you so you can talk about it afterwards but he's not there yet.

The first date I had with my wife was a 3500 rmb (600$ back then?) dinner and the second was a movie, ain't nothing wrong with a movie. There's plenty of time before and after the movie for talks.

 

[SeanR1221]

Anyone see the Seinfeld episode where Jerry starts dating his cleaning lady?

I picture that happening here.

 

[Tex117]

Fortunately, your general opinion of dropping all contact with her seems to be the minority one in this thread.

OP is going to see Godzilla. He is taking a girl with him. A girl who says she wants to go on a friendly basis. Most people here have accepted that it is probably for the best if OP goes and has himself a nice time out, rather than being cooped up inside. Nothing more or less is required to happen than OP simply having a nice time.

And in no way did I realize that and want to give a counter argument for counter arguments sake to make sure the OP had a lot of different points of view.

Whose alternatives? The OP's alternative is spending that evening alone with us. The movies aren't going to kill. He's already engaged in a relationship with this person, going to the movies doesn't suddenly take this to a level that he can never come back from after he's done it.

Speak for yourself. I wont be hanging out with you jokers.

Sign up for online dating...hit the gym...dress a little better....get a better hair cut...and low and behold...women will pay attention to you. Its amazing how that works.

 

[ChubbyHuggs]

It wont solve all my problems so I wont do it,

You should go on the date.

 

[Juz]

they are useful to use in car pool lanes

 

[Messypandas]

If you're picking her up in a car, play this song during the drive there.

God I miss Flight of the Conchords

 

[Stuneseht]

It wont solve all my problems so I wont do it,

I'm not saying that this indiviual couldn't be a nice person in the long run; but you a clearly dealing with someone who is partaking a a very toxic activity.
A activity that may cause many of the similar personal issues that you are dealing with (trust, self esteem issues, etc.) within that said individual.

this escort may also give you a false sense of security on how actually deal/interact with woman; she is the exception-not the norm.
I strongly believe that the thrill of the chase or even actually developing some type of relationship with a woman- to the point of where she wants to be intimate with you is both fustrating and exhilaritng; but truly something special that you will remember. Something that will allow to develop better solutions to many of your personal issues and solutions that you will be comfortable with.

you clearly have the courage to do whatever you put your mind too; but you have to also start surrounding yourself with positive people. Sometimes surrounding yourself with yourself can be both a gift and a curse.

 

[lenovox1]

Speak for yourself. I wont be hanging out with you jokers.

Sign up for online dating...hit the gym...dress a little better....get a better hair cut...and low and behold...women will pay attention to you. Its amazing how that works.

And, again, you're sort of... broadening the scope of this situation. He should absolutely do all of those things if they will improve the quality of his life. And he should absolutely be wary of prostitutes and prositution in general.

But that's beyond the little movie date that a woman he's paid to hook up with and. more than likely, talk to on a couple occasions asking to go watch a movie.

He's been down the rabbit hole. A movie is not going to hurt him any further.

 

[braves01]

Sorry if this has already been covered, but are you paying for this date (in addition to cost of movies and snacks) or is the prostitute just doing this gratis?

Whoops I see it was hidden under the Aliens guy in the OP that you're going "as friends"

 

[NateDog]

Interesting situation. Good luck anyway, can't really say anything that no-one else has said already. Regardless, stay on your guard a little, but try and have some fun and enjoy it.

 

[Timeaisis]

What is this "Rule" I keep hearing about?

 

[BrassDragon]

Serious, non-judgemental advice here:

Repeat customers are literal gold to escorts. Most would tell you they rather have a few steady repeat customers than loads of one-offs. Especially shy, harmless men with good hygiene who go out of their way to be nice to them. Because of the nature of what they're selling, repetition always creates rapport and lines may get a little blurry. It's still business even though both parties are more relaxed about the transaction. My guess is you're at that stage but your lack of experience makes it hard to see it for what it is.

But okay, disregarding the Pretty Woman fantasy, let's say she has a genuine desire for friendship outside of work....

No matter how good the chemistry is or how much she may or may not enjoy your company, she's playing a role. It's just the nature of the escort business. Despite all the intimacy, you don't really know the real her. She may be wonderful, she may be broken, she may be lonely, she may be having a blast, she may be cynical. Maybe none of these things. Or all of these things. You just don't know until she's comfortable enough to drop the mask.

You have to decide whether you want platonic friendship or paid-for intimacy. At the moment you can't have both because her work persona is standing between the two of you. If she likes and trusts you enough to be herself, don't confuse things by expecting or initiating sex, that'll push her back into work mode.

Another reason to make a clear choice is because of your inexperience - it puts you at risk of confusing intimacy and sympathy for love and devotion. Finding out it's one-sided will mess you up for a good while. If you continue to click when there's no money changing hands, turn it into a friendship. She may welcome the support from someone who knows her job and doesn't judge her for it.

If that's too complicated or your hormones won't allow it, keep bringing envelopes, enjoy your time for as long as it lasts and keep it safe and straightforward.

 

[PhoenixDark]

Best post if you are fucking cynical and generalizing. Escorts are as different as people in other occupations.

She literally fucks men for money, I'm going to say that's quite different from other occupations, in a negative way. And the same applies to male sex workers so don't play the sexism card.

I'm not saying he shouldn't go to the movies with her. Do you, man. But I'm not going to dap or congratulate someone for potentially getting hooked by a prostitute.

 

[TitusGroan]

I'm not saying that this indiviual couldn't be a nice person in the long run; but you a clearly dealing with someone who is partaking a a very toxic activity.

Woah, woah, woah.

OK, the sex industry is hardly the most noble, and it has a huge amount of seediness to it, but have you got a citation that this girl OP is seeing is partaking in a very toxic activity? It is not the worst thing in the world to be paid for sex. Porn stars do it all the time, the only difference is that they have a camera filming it. All we know about this girl is that she's an escort, and she asked OP out on a date to see a film. If you can show me where between those two points the 'clear' toxicity lies, I'll be very impressed.

this escort may also give you a false sense of security on how actually deal/interact with woman; she is the exception-not the norm.

Because escorts clearly do not ever act or want to be treated like regular women. If an escort ever asks you out on a date, she obviously wants to empty your bank account and leave you a broken husk of a man. She could never want to have a regylar, fun night out like anyone else.

I strongly believe that the thrill of the chase or even actually developing some type of relationship with a woman- to the point of where she wants to be intimate with you is both fustrating and exhilaritng; but truly something special that you will remember. Something that will allow to develop better solutions to many of your personal issues and solutions that you will be comfortable with.

What you feel about the thrill of the chase is great. OP is not you. How about you don't apply your standards to him, and allow him to do what he feels is the best thing for him. Some guys don't like the thrill of the chase, some guys just like to be asked out by a girl.

you clearly have the courage to do whatever you put your mind too; but you have to also start surrounding yourself with positive people. Sometimes surrounding yourself with yourself can be both a gift and a curse.

And she sounds pretty positive. She found out he'd not been with many girls, and offered him a night out as a way to cheer him up. How is that not positive?

 

[Tex117]

And, again, you're sort of... broadening the scope of this situation. He should absolutely do all of those things if they will improve the quality of his life. And he should absolutely be wary of prostitutes and prositution in general.

But that's beyond the little movie date that a woman he's paid to hook up with and. more than likely, talk to on a couple occasions asking to go watch a movie.

He's been down the rabbit hole. A movie is not going to hurt him any further.

I am broadening the scope because I think the "harmless movie" is a symptom of the bigger picture.

It isn't going to help either. Don't treat the symptom...

I see your point. "what harm can a movie do? He already engaged her services." from that exceedingly practical perspective, you are likely right.

My point is that OP should address his self-esteem issues in a broader sense. I'm merely advocating to not go down the "hanging out with prostitutes" at all.