Everyone was walking into Mordor but me. I asked my Mom, "Why can't I walk into Mordor too?" She said, "You're not old enough."
I replied, "But all the cool and rich kids are doing it! Don't you want me to fit in?"
She sighed. She turned to me and asked, "If all the cool and rich kids jumped into Mount Doom, would you do it too?"
"Would it be cool and hip?"
"Yes, but you'd die."
"Will I have fun doing it?"
"Just for a moment before you die a terrible and excruciating death, screaming as you burnt alive and melted away from existance."
"You pose a good point, Mom."
"Good, now that it's been settled, go to the store and buy a 2GB video card."
"But.....Mordor requires 4GB....."
My mom looked at me....dead in the eyes. She motioned me to come over, bent down, and whispered,
"One does not simply walk into Mordor."
The moral of the story is, someone buy me this game.
Written and Directed by M. Night Shamalamalyn for your Oscar consideration.
_/¯
