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[Harmen]

In 20 years? People are already saying how the word "disabled" is offensive. I think we, as a society these days, sometimes goes overboard on trying to not offend. I work with a local special needs agency and even I get irked at how far some people want to go.

Even what we call those that we serve, some are so touchy about it. It seems like every few years they change the name of what we call those that we serve. They were last called "clients", then that was also deemed disrespectful. They are now called "consumers" but I'm sure that will be disrespectful any time now as well. It's a never ending cycle of being scared to offend.

I do however get the offense taken at the word "retarded". I try not to use it, but before doing what I do now I rarely thought twice about it. Working so closely with them made me at least understand it.

I mean, I understand where you guys are getting from. Hell, I stated in the T word thread that thug is a normal word over here.

However, it is not like the word retard suddenly gets a different meaning now, isn't it? The word has been used as an offensive term since the 60's , ever since it was formally recognised as a scientific classification for the mentally disabled people. Therefore, using the term always clearly meant using the mentally disabled as the offense.

 

[Epiphyte]

I feel as though I can no longer differentiate between trolling, self serving virtue signalling and honest expression anymore

The only solution is a retreat to solipsism

 

[Althane]

You can turn off the TV if your delicate ears can't handle more nuanced vocabulary. The ones who are actually affected, like families with disabled children, have to deal with insensitive assholes using the R word every day. I think their pain in this instance outweighs yours.

Should we put the whole world in a bottle, then? Pad every corner, pillows on every road?

I'm not saying that people should be an asshole just to be an asshole, but at the same time, they're not killing you, not threatening you, not abusing you... maybe the world doesn't need people policing every little bit?

Maybe people can just go about their lives, and ignore what other people say because at the end of the day, life goes on?

I dunno, I find this whole thing weird. I don't get offended by fat jokes, short jokes, diabetes jokes, even though I tick all 3 categories pretty well. It's just... weird to me to need to pad yourself that much.

(fat joke not intended)

Edit: ... did I woosh? Is this because of the T. word thread?

Am I not internet enough today?

.. I'm going to bed. Neogaf is too weird for me right now.

 

[IndieJones]

IDD is correct? So essentially these people and any disorders have disowned "retarded," if they ever had any ownership to begin with, so it should no longer be offensive to anyone except maybe the guy or gal that I just called retarded. It's not like gay where that's not an actually negative condition that gay people actually own and other meanings have become arcahic. Retard still means to slow.

Am I wrong?

I don't think you're wrong. "The guy who ran a red light and plowed into a police cruise wasn't thinking too swiftly. You might say it was a retarded thing to do."

 

[Count Dookkake]

IDD is correct? So essentially these people and any disorders have disowned "retarded," if they ever had any ownership to begin with, so it should no longer be offensive to anyone except maybe the guy or gal that I just called retarded. It's not like gay where that's not an actually negative condition that gay people actually own and other meanings have become arcahic. Retard still means to slow.

Am I wrong?

Nope.

It's silly.

It makes someone sound incredibly unintelligent and immature when they use it in conversation.

This is offensive.

 

[Kwhit10]

I feel with mental health issues starting to become a more mainstream issue that the word 'crazy' will become a social taboo the way 'retarded' has evolved to that stage over the past 15 years.

 

[Permanently A]

I use the word but obviously not when referring to the differently abled. For example my brother is autistic, I have no problem with my friends telling me "Dude stop being retarded" or "Wow that movie was retarded" but I would obviously be mad if they said "hey why is your brother so retarded?"

Context above all.

 

[SapientWolf]

The idea is to change the public consciousness into seeing the mentally disabled not as an other or inferior, but as human beings who just have different wiring than most of us. They think of things differently, and in some cases think in astonishing ways to see things the rest of us never see. But as long as, as you say, we think of them in "feelbad" terms then ultimately the words we use to describe them will just end up representing the same thing to the masses who have no actual interaction with them.

Stigmatizing the R word is just one step on the road to changing perception, it's not the end all be all.

It's always going to be a feelbad situation for some people. Human society places a large value on intelligence. Even this forum is ruthless if you say something silly.

But sympathy for people who are born different is going to be an easier road than sympathy for people who have normal functioning brains and still do unintelligent things. So "stupid" and its syllables are never going to go away.

 

[Bobby Roberts]

I cut this word out of my vocab about a decade ago.

Wasn't that hard.

Don't miss it.

 

[Dali]

Yeah gaf is so obnoxiously liberal it has bled into my real life habits. I have understood for a while now retard (at least in the way I used to use it) is a word I shouldn't have in my lexicon because of this site and I think I've been good about retiring it.

I say "obnoxiously liberal" in kind of a tongue in cheek way, but kinda not. I just don't even bother with some social issue threads.

 

[Premium Quality]

I haven't used the word since middle school.
I was thinking of making a similar topic a while back about the W word.
Back in the day, calling someone who slept with many people a whore was ok. But if you called someone a cunt, then it was over the line.
Now a days, it seems whore is more offensive than cunt.

 

[bengraven]

My mother has been a therapist working with mentally handicapped all her life. Since I was a child I was exposed to people with Down syndrome, for example.

I still felt uncomfortable around them but I think a lot of that was a combination of a fear of the unknown (it wasn't an every day occurrence that mom "brought work home" but it did happen every few weeks) and because of my own closed mind. I was relentlessly bullied in my small town so I had it beaten into me that anything that isn't "normal" is bad.

She always insisted that they're the same as us and that in fact they will always love you unconditionally. This used to make me so bitter because a) she was slowly becoming more disturbed and it just reiterated her alienation towards her children due to bitterness that we were becoming independent and b) I didn't believe it for a long time.

Now that I'm an adult I'm grateful for the experiences I had. Especially since I would end up having an autistic son.

 

[Deleted member 13876]

When I used to volunteer at a mental hospital in 90's the word was used to describe patients without malice but some how people started using that word in slang. When I volunteered recently for an institution with mentally handicapped that word was forbidden. Kind of weird how things have changed when stupid people thought it was funny to use an insult.

I've heard that each time the medical world invents a new term for it, people start using that as slang and the search for a new word begins. Moron, imbecile, stupid, idiot etc. were all medical terms but their usage became frowned upon when people started using it as insults.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Moron_(psychology)

 

[Bobby Roberts]

Also, we got the R word and the T word on the board today. We already know about the N word.

We get an S, an L, and an E, we can start solving the final puzzle on Wheel of Fortune.

 

[Kinsei]

Has this been posted yet?

He's not wrong, but why don't we stop the cycle? We would still have all of those other words to insult someone with (and believe me people ca combine them in creative ways) so it's not like our insult vocabulary would become dull. Instead f forcing doctors to come up with new terms because we're (general we here, not singling out anyone in this thread) assholes, why not just stop being assholes?

Also, we got the R word and the T word on the board today. We already know about the N word.

We get an S, an L, and an E, we can start solving the final puzzle on Wheel of Fortune.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_L_Word

 

[Hale-XF11]

The R word is not allowed in my family. We are liberal democrats.

Republicans?

 

[Az987]

I feel with mental health issues starting to become a more mainstream issue that the word 'crazy' will become a social taboo the way 'retarded' has evolved to that stage over the past 15 years.

Good point but it's basically the same thing. If someone you cared about had bipolar disorder you'd probably take just as much offense if someone called them crazy as the OP does with retarded.

I can't wait for the day when only people with mental disorders get to use the word crazy lol.

 

[Imperfected]

Now a days, it seems whore is more offensive than cunt.

I blame the British.

 

[Count Dookkake]

I haven't used the word since middle school.
I was thinking of making a similar topic a while back about the W word.
Back in the day, calling someone who slept with many people a whore was ok. But if you called someone a cunt, then it was over the line.
Now a days, it seems whore is more offensive than cunt.

I much prefer a whore to a cunt.

 

[bgbball31]

Also, we got the R word and the T word on the board today. We already know about the N word.

We get an S, an L, and an E, we can start solving the final puzzle on Wheel of Fortune.

Lesbian? Lesbians?

Spoiler

/Scott pilgrim reference

 

[RumblingRosco]

I still occasionally use it in scientific writing because I'm super edgy.

But basically and truthfully, it makes sense to avoid using it. If it bothers people, which it apparently does, I can easily substitute it out for something else. It takes me all of 30 seconds to think "OK, I'll say 'that's dumb' instead of 'that's retarded' from now on!" And just like that, I don't use "retarded" anymore in the context of the OP.

 

[Aeana]

As liberal as GAF is, I see it daily. People should understand it's an offensive word.

I'm challenging this, because "retarded" as a pejorative is explicitly against our rules and we ban for it every time we see it. If it's slipping through the cracks, then it should be reported.

 

[starchild excalibur]

I'll be honest: In 6th grade I had a teacher who told all of us not to use the word for similar reasons to what the OP listed. It's a fair and well-reasoned argument and I adhered to it for several years.

Until some point I just kinda said "fuck it," and was okay with its usage once more. And to be absolutely honest, I'm not sure what precipitated that. My only guess is that I felt we'd reached a point with its word usage where it was akin to "lame" or "dumb" - words that historically meant something else but had been used in everyday vernacular long enough that no one felt you were literally referring to its scientific definition.

When I wanted to refer to someone fitting its original definition, I would - and still use - "developmentally challenged" or some variation of that.

I don't use the word retarded on a regular or even semi-regular basis, but I can't lie - I just don't really care that much when I hear people use it. And while I can't remember the last time I use it, that doesn't mean I probably won't use it again.

I'm sorry, OP. :|

 

[Enduin]

A small part of me thinks like many others who've said things about how words like "stupid, lame, idiot, moron, imbecile, etc" were all used at some point as medical terms to describe people with disabilities or conditions and yet they are now common words that generally do not offend any particular group. So "Retarded" will eventually reach that point as well given its prevalence, similar to even more explicitly offensive words like "Fag" or "Nigga," where certain regions and age groups, especially among those groups such words were originally targeted at, use them as replacements for other acceptable words and slang.

But then I actually think about it and while those terms I first mentioned were all generally actual medical terms or somewhat official terms for certain mental and physical disabilities, people throughout history have been massive assholes who didn't really give two shits about how other people felt or were affected by language. So while words like "Retarded" "Fag" or even "Nigga" might have found certain widespread use outside of their original meanings and intentions, and likely could evolve to be just common place words like "stupid" or "lame," and aren't generally used today to intentionally disparage those people who they were traditionally assigned to that doesn't automatically make it OK to use those words. Because while they may eventually lose their sting at some indeterminate time in the future, there are still a whole lot of people around today that they still affect and they're not going anywhere anytime soon.

Language most definitely evolves, and while I generally don't like euphemistic language or coded language, it doesn't give people a blank check to just say whatever they like when a lot of the time it directly affects others, even if they don't mean it to. This goes beyond specific words themselves to also just the ways people describe and treat certain subjects and people. We are a lot more aware and cognizant about how our actions and words affect others and their development and should try to act accordingly as best we can, because it's often not about not wanting to offend people but the fact that they way we talk about things directly shapes how people view themselves, others and issues in ways that aren't always helpful or healthy.

 

[The Hermit]

Meaning of words is a funny thing and you can turn anything into a slang or making it offensive.

Recently there's a word going around here in Brazil to call people who are elitist, are against the current governmet and anti-PT( the party of the current President).

That word is "coxinha" which is a famous food

.

It was eventually used to call people "burgoise" but it wasn't that offensive.

In less than an year it became a very stingy curse word. And I eat that thing every week, never in my mind I would imagine it would turn into a curse word.

 

[djtiesto]

I write special education software for a living, and there are quite a few people at my company who will use 'retarded' in casual conversation when complaining about stuff... still sounds weird and off-putting when they do.

 

[WedgeX]

I wish that social work and psychiatry would hurry up and adopt the DSM-V. The DSM-IV still lists "mental retardation" as an Axis II diagnosis, whereas V has updated it to "intellectual disability."

Until the DMS-V is adopted, its still something we have to use for work.

 

[Log4Girlz]

Meaning of words is a funny thing and you can turn anything into a slang or making it offensive.

Recently there's a word going around here in Brazil to call people who are elitist, are against the current governmet and anti-PT( the party of the current President).

That word is "coxinha" which is a famous food

.

It was eventually used to call people "burgoise" but it wasn't that offensive.

In less than an year it became a very stingy curse word. And I eat that thing every week, never in my mind I would imagine it would turn into a curse word.

That looks delicious, what is it?

 

[TimeEffect]

Question: Were words like "Stupid" and "idiot" considered as bad as "retarded" in older times?

Nevermind, already addressed.

 

[John Kowalski]

I think it's good practice to never use words that carry that kind of negative feeling about a specific demographic. It's why I never use whore, slut, bitch, etc., and it really bothers me when people use them nonchalantly without recognizing their negativity, or even when they do and when those words would be "proper", it's an important choice to decide not to use those words and instead explain yourself in different way that doesn't reduce people to hurtful archetypes. That's my personal adage.

 

[Recidivus Crimen]

Yea when I found out my friend's brother has IDD I tried to cut back on using the word. It really can be difficult to stop using certain words. I ended up just replacing the word retard with 'tard' which isn't any better. These days I rarely say it anymore. Although another friend of mine has a brother with IDD and he uses the word retard.

 

[Stallion Dan]

Nothing wrong with the word retarded, retard, retarding etc, it has several uses in everyday language, it's calling someone a retard that is wrong.

 

[mattwhite924]

Meaning of words is a funny thing and you can turn anything into a slang or making it offensive.

Yep, that's why this poor guy got his name changed.

Poor Slag. ;__;
Your name still just means smelting waste to me.

 

[Dead Man]

And the euphemism treadmill continues on.

 

[AudioNoir]

We used to say "retard" and all variations in high school all the time. It was weird, though, cuz we used to use it to describe people who were just really fucking dumb.

The actual IDD/mentally challenged people in our school? We just called them Andrea and Robin.

 

[Reverend Funk]

That looks delicious, what is it?

Coxinha. Its right there in his post.

 

[spazchicken]

The R word is not allowed in my family. We are liberal democrats.

lol

Meaning of words is a funny thing and you can turn anything into a slang or making it offensive.

Or make offensive words not offensive.

Words are ever changing, always have been and always will be. Some people still don't understand that.

 

[Vincent Grayson]

It's on my list of words to edit out of my vocabulary. Gay came first, then bitch a while later. There's greater impetus than normal to do so now, as my wife works at a day program for people with various disabilities.

edit: It's worth noting though, that I'll never be able to keep myself from laughing at jokes involving the issue of the word itself, like the Office and Rick and Morty moments above.

 

[Ekdrm2d1]

I feel with mental health issues starting to become a more mainstream issue that the word 'crazy' will become a social taboo the way 'retarded' has evolved to that stage over the past 15 years.

I've learned to watch the "other" C word myself. I'm currently/strike] dating somebody with mental illness, and a good friend has a serious condition. I've also dated other ladies with mental illness.

 

[Zach]

I'm glad you made this thread.

I'm challenging this, because "retarded" as a pejorative is explicitly against our rules and we ban for it every time we see it. If it's slipping through the cracks, then it should be reported.

I like it!

 

[Kaz42]

I'm challenging this, because "retarded" as a pejorative is explicitly against our rules and we ban for it every time we see it. If it's slipping through the cracks, then it should be reported.

I'm not the guy you responded to (obviously) but it does look like people do use the phrase "go full retard" as well as "retard" here and there to describe themselves or a company. Using the search function on Neogaf brought up around half a dozen posts made in the past week where someone used the word/phrase to describe themselves, a company making bad decisions, concept art, and other people criticizing them.

Edit: I missed the word pejorative in your post. Only one or two posts I saw would fall into that category. My bad.

 

[1044]

Now I don't use this word disparagingly, and it's unfortunate that it targets a particular group of people. But I can fully understand why its used the way it is by so many people. You can argue all you want about how we shouldn't use racial slurs, calling something gay, and all that. But words like retarded, stupid, dumb, etc. are powerful words to have for insulting people.

Calling someone gay as an insult only disparages homosexuals because you are implying that being gay is something that they should not want to be. So I totally get why this should not be the allowed use of the word.

But calling someone an idiot or developmentally challenged is a valid insult because nobody wants to be seen as stupid. Implying that someone is stupid is a direct insult to them, so should it not be an accepted way to disparage someone?

It's like calling someone ugly. Does that offend other people that are ugly?

Are we so PC that we cannot use words to insult people anymore?

 

[Puppen]

Words are ever changing, always have been and always will be. Some people still don't understand that.

Guess what? The R word is offensive in 2016. It may not be in 2036. But we don't live in 2036.

But calling someone an idiot or developmentally challenged is a valid insult because nobody wants to be seen as stupid. Implying that someone is stupid is a direct insult to them, so should it not be an accepted way to disparage someone?

Developmentally challenged or mentally disabled people have no choice in how their brain works. If they happen to be born with a lower IQ, or don't interpret things the way others do, whatever it may be - they were literally born that way.

When you call someone an idiot or stupid, you're typically referring to someone with a normal brain who is simply choosing to not use it to their utmost abilities. That's completely different.

 

[Ecto311]

The R word is not allowed in my family. We are liberal democrats.

I have a 6yr old and we have no banned words in our house. Instead we explain them and she understands the usage for them all. She curses around me but not my parents because she understands they don't like it and as a sign of respect she doesn't do it. Being liberal democrats has nothing to do with banning a word. I would say we are the same in our household and we don't ban anything because it seems silly to us. That's your thing great but it feels like an easy way out of teaching and explaining why and how words are used good or bad.

 

[gutter_trash]

as a Liberal myself who does not care about respecting political correctness,

I use the R word everyday

 

[Bobby Roberts]

It's like calling someone ugly. Does that offend other people that are ugly?

Are we so PC that we cannot use words to insult people anymore?

This is kind of a weird argument. The objection to using "retard" as a pejorative, or calling someone/something "retarded" as a negative term, is due to the collateral damage incurred in its use.

When you're calling someone ugly, you're intending to offend, because the word is in and of itself a pejorative. There's no other way to employ it.

Insulting people is, by its nature, impolite, so if you're looking to specifically, pointedly hurt someone's feelings intentionally, offensiveness isn't going to be a concern. Offensiveness is the goal.

But we're not talking about instances where you're trying to piss someone off by being real mean to them. We're talking about instances where not well-thought-out usage of the term ends up unintentionally making life harder for people suffering from developmental disabilities. Sorta like how people don't use the word "cripple" as freely as they used to when talking about permanently injured people, or people with amputated limbs/appendages. (although those people sometimes do use that term to reference themselves in an irreverent fashion, and allow friends to use it as well).

As with any sort of conscious usage of terminology that has the capability to unintentionally, accidentally offend, the choice on the table is pretty clear:

Does someone's potential discomfort/pain outweigh the satisfaction you derive from being able to chew on that word?

If the answer is no, then you do you. But at that point you forfeit your right to complain about being misunderstood/misjudged. You knowingly made the decision to put your self-satisfaction above other people's perception of you. In some instances, that's the right decision. In others, maybe not. But that's a call you gotta make.

 

[God Dayumm]

If you shorten it to 'tard, is it still offensive?

.

All insults have collateral damage. Ugly is the mildest insult, so you probably don't see it. Other than cunt, dick and asshole, can you think of an insult that won't make somebody self-conscious?

 

[TheExecutive]

I use the word retarded. My daughter is mildly to severely retarded. I thought that was the official wording from medical community

 

[Ekdrm2d1]

I have a 6yr old and we have no banned words in our house. Instead we explain them and she understands the usage for them all. She curses around me but not my parents because she understands they don't like it and as a sign of respect she doesn't do it. Being liberal democrats has nothing to do with banning a word. I would say we are the same in our household and we don't ban anything because it seems silly to us. That's your thing great but it feels like an easy way out of teaching and explaining why and how words are used good or bad.

It was a figure of speech.

Spoiler

Darn GOP and their restrictions.

 

[spazchicken]

Guess what? The R word is offensive in 2016. It may not be in 2036. But we don't live in 2036.

I should have clarified that I wasn't talking about the word "retarded".

I can see that word being offensive because the meaning still holds to it's original meaning but aimed at someone or something that is not mentally handicapped. So it has not evolved at all but simply changed targets.