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[Pops Maellard]

I cut this word out of my vocab about a decade ago.

Wasn't that hard.

Don't miss it.

Yup, not really much to talk about past this. It's not difficult to stop using a word, and if you don't understand/accept why it could be found offensive, you're just admitting to your own extremely limited perspective.

 

[i am unagi]

If you shorten it to 'tard, is it still offensive?

 

[SMattera]

It's not a neutral descriptive term. In modern society, it's a term of disdain. You don't seem to be clued into the weight the word carries. Mentally disabled, autistic, down's syndrome, etc. are appropriate words to use. I'm frankly astonished that you wouldn't use a word to accurately describe your brother's state instead of a general and widely considered offensive term like "retarded". For example, if someone is talking about a sibling or child, they describe them as autistic instead of retarded because they don't think of them as having lower mental faculties and instead respect them as an individual.

Maybe it's the way you worded your post, here, but I have to ask: Do you even know what autism is? Autism is a spectrum disorder with a wide range of possible outcomes. I have another family member that is autistic, severely so. He's also mentally retarded to some extent. To give you some idea, he's a teenager that's incapable of speech. On the other hard, there are billionaire hedge fund managers that are autistic, but are far more intelligent than you or I. They are certainly not retarded. And not everyone that's mentally disabled is autistic.

There are many possible disorders that someone can have. Most of which the general public is not familiar with. Some take a toll on your mental facilities, others don't. Moreover, a person's mental facilities can be judged objectively. If you were born with half a brain, or otherwise suffered severe brain damage, there's a high chance you're going to be mentally retarded. And acknowledging that fact has absolutely nothing to do with respecting or not respecting them as a person. To infer it as such is frankly far more offensive than using the "R-word".

 

[KdylanR92]

I feel like Gaf is the best place to come when you want to tell adults why they shouldn't be using words without them telling you to "shut the fuck up" immediately.

These discussions work in an online forum setting but I can't imagine telling another adult in a real life setting not to say certain things because they're "bad words", I would look at you like you were insane.

 

[Quixzlizx]

It's essentially about as classy of a pejorative as saying that something is "gay."

 

[i am unagi]

These discussions work in an online forum setting but I can't imagine telling another adult in a real life setting not to say certain things because they're "bad words", I would look at you like you were insane.

It's essentially about as classy of a pejorative as saying that something is "gay."

When I was 18, I used the word "gay" to describe something lame while working at Starbucks. Another Barista who was a lesbian told me not to use that word in that context (i.e. calling something gay because then gay=negative) because it was offensive.

I was kind of taken aback because it was pretty confrontational. I thought she was being overly sensitive at the time, but now that I'm more mature, that is pretty insensitive of me. Haven't used it since though. That kind of confrontation is needed I think.

 

[Bobby Roberts]

All insults have collateral damage. Ugly is the mildest insult, so you probably don't see it.

Again, this seems like a really weird argument to me. Of course I see it. It's why I phrased the question the way I did:

Does someone's potential discomfort/pain outweigh the satisfaction you derive from being able to chew on that word?

It's a value judgment. If I call someone a fuckhead, someone's discomfort is my aim. If any fuckheads nearby go "hey, there's no call to be denigrating all fuckheads now," I'll make sure to specify I meant that one specific fuckhead. But that's never going to be a thing that ever fucking happens, so I'm not sweating it. It's a safe decision to make.

If I refer to something as silly, goofy, dumb, ridiculous, shitty, etc. I've decided using those pejoratives is worth the risk, because any real collateral damage on the level we're concerned with in this thread is nil.

For me, the it's not worth the satisfaction of getting to spit "fucking retard" at someone who has upset me with their poor decisionmaking skills, not just because it's possible someone nearby would feel awful at one of their loved ones (or themselves) being used as an insult, and having their entire being summed up (and discarded) as something worthy of pure derision, but because I would feel bad at being that reductionist about an entire group of people whose experiences are so much more than simply being a couple syllables I can spit at someone who doesn't measure up to my standards, such as they are.

You get what I was saying now? I'm not saying people should stop trying to use insults, or negative terminology, or even to stop speaking angrily. I'm saying it's a value judgement, and it's up to you to decide how much using that word is worth to you.

About a decade ago, I decided it wasn't worth very much at all. That's me, though.

 

[Geist-]

As liberal as GAF is, I see it daily. People should understand it's an offensive word.

Where? It's a bannable term AFAIK. I was banned for a couple weeks for posting that Rick and Morty gif with the word being the reason given.

Also, wtf with people using 'mongoloid' as a substitute? That's a pretty substantial portion of humanity you're being racist against.

Personally, I use it more often than I should, but during my life 'retarded' has never once been used against a person with a mental disorder. It's always been mentally challenged, handicapped, or disabled. 'Retard' has always been a substitute for 'stupid' for as long as I've been alive. It makes it difficult to think of it as anything but a term for normal people doing less than intelligent things.

Not that it should be used, just explaining my point-of-view.

 

[Puppen]

Maybe it's the way you worded your post, here, but I have to ask: Do you even know what autism is? Autism is a spectrum disorder with a wide range of possible outcomes. I have another family member that is autistic, severely so. He's also mentally retarded to some extent. To give you some idea, he's a teenager that's incapable of speech. On the other hard, there are billionaire hedge fund managers that are autistic, but are far more intelligent than you or I. They are certainly not retarded. And not everyone that's mentally disabled is autistic.

There are many possible disorders that someone can have. Most of which the general public is not familiar with. Some take a toll on your mental facilities, others don't. Moreover, a person's mental facilities can be judged objectively. If you were born with half a brain, or otherwise suffered severe brain damage, there's a high chance you're going to be mentally retarded. And acknowledging that fact has absolutely nothing to do with respecting or not respecting them as a person. To infer it as such is frankly far more offensive than using the "R-word".

I do know what Autism is, and you continue to be willfully ignorant of the social and interpersonal context of the R word. It boggles the mind that you think it's a positive to describe anyone as mentally retarded instead of mentally disabled, or any other number of descriptors.

 

[Tinfoilhatsron]

In 20 years? People are already saying how the word "disabled" is offensive. I think we, as a society these days, sometimes goes overboard on trying to not offend. I work with a local special needs agency and even I get irked at how far some people want to go.

Even what we call those that we serve, some are so touchy about it. It seems like every few years they change the name of what we call those that we serve. They were last called "clients", then that was also deemed disrespectful. They are now called "consumers" but I'm sure that will be disrespectful any time now as well. It's a never ending cycle of being scared to offend.

I do however get the offense taken at the word "retarded". I try not to use it, but before doing what I do now I rarely thought twice about it. Working so closely with them made me at least understand it.

While I don't agree with to this extent, to many, the " R word" stings as much as the "N word".

Exactly words and slang will change to a new word that will become infamous and common. Feels like it's human nature.

Case by case really. I don't mind "disabled" or "cripple" at all. I personally use it myself.

Also context matters. If someone called me a "cripple" and was being an ass about it then I'd get mad.

 

[Kettch]

I don't think the word retard ever saw much use to actually insult the intellectually disabled, though feel free to correct me if I'm wrong about that. The issue with it stems more from how it's used as a general insult against those without disabilities. By using it in a purely negative way like that, you'll be suggesting that those with disabilities are bad or inferior, since the base meaning of the word comes from them.

It's similar to how we're still trying to scrub the general insult "you're gay" or "that's gay" from the vocabulary of a couple generations of kids who grew up with it. When using that as an insult you're suggesting that to be gay is a bad thing, which any reasonable person should obviously take issue with.

 

[BeesEight]

Where? It's a bannable term AFAIK. I was banned for a couple weeks for posting that Rick and Morty gif with the word being the reason given.

Also, wtf with people using 'mongoloid' as a substitute? That's a pretty substantial portion of humanity you're being racist against.

Personally, I use it more often than I should, but during my life 'retarded' has never once been used against a person with a mental disorder. It's always been mentally challenged, handicapped, or disabled. 'Retard' has always been a substitute for 'stupid' for as long as I've been alive. It makes it difficult to think of it as anything but a term for normal people doing less than intelligent things.

Not that it should be used, just explaining my point-of-view.

I don't personally use mongoloid because it's not really in common vernacular. I believe the people mentioning it are being tongue-in-cheek.

The point with "mongoloid" is that any substitute you can imagine for retard is most likely a synonym for the word. Imbecile, stupid, moron were all older terms used to describe what we use retard for now. Dumb and lame were used for physical disabilities. All these words, including the "acceptable" ones are equally "harmful" as they are using negative conditions or traits as insults. There's simply no way around this. People have and will continue to use unwanted traits as insults in language.

The only reason that dumb, lame, moron, idiot, stupid, simpleton, cretin and whatnot is fine is that their original use is forgotten by the average person. I'd be surprised if most people knew the etymology of mongoloid. I'd be equally surprised if anyone took offence to the term as well since it's not used in an official capacity... anywhere to my knowledge. Maybe they will, though. It's a large world out there and people advocating for not using retard suggest using those older historic words for the same thing anyway.

 

[Tragicomedy]

Hate it, and always correct people who use it at work.

Outside of my work environment, I'm not in a position of authority to tell people how to live their lives, but it's an offensive term. No question.

My son has high functioning autism, and while he's far too young to hear insults from peers, he's in a prime category for those kinds of insults in the future. School kids are particularly mean, and I can remember some of the words tossed around back in the 80s and 90s. I have no reason to believe it's not just as bad, if not worse.

I'll never accept that word tossed around in his presence.

 

[Ganzlinger]

I agree with OP.

But this "can't say x word" thing might be going too far, like banning proper words from the dictionary.

 

[Regiruler]

As someone with aspergers, I've tried to be more self-conscious with how I use the word.

 

[Darksol]

As long as nobody says the H word.

 

[SMattera]

I do know what Autism is, and you continue to be willfully ignorant of the social and interpersonal context of the R word. It boggles the mind that you think it's a positive to describe anyone as mentally retarded instead of mentally disabled, or any other number of descriptors.

What fundamental difference does it make to use the phrase "mentally disabled" vs "mentally retarded"? Do you think scrubbing the word from the lexicon somehow magically solves the problem? Am I hurting someone's feelings when I accurately describe a real condition? If so, where do you draw the line?

If you strictly want to say that we should stop using the word as an insult, then sure, I'm on board with you 100%. But I don't think people should ever be called stupid or an idiot in an insulting manner, either.

 

[Shaffield]

As long as nobody says the H word.

Homunculus?

 

[Acerac]

My brother is retarded. Saying retarded isn't offensive. People don't mean anything bad by it. I think people who make a big deal about the word are painfully self righteous, and almost seem to belive that if we just used a different word it would magically change the condition. Sorry. It doesn't work that way.

Growing up with a retarded sibling has taught me not to sweat the small stuff.

This is precisely where I'm at.

I'd imagine in 20 years the term will be as defanged as stupid or idiotic is now. The only thing being implied by these insults is that the target isn't very smart.

 

[PipefishUK]

Is Retard really that offensive? UK here and its not a big deal here its just a meaner version of calling somebody stupid/a idiot.
I dunno though im probably wrong

Also UK - it is offensive, although I do say it sometimes.

I have an aunt who is mentally handicapped (that's how we've always referred to it, dunno what decade that's from or if it's offensive now). My mum always used to get really upset at us when we said 'retard' as an insult. I never really bothered till I got older, thought she was just being over sensitive. But yeah, using it as slang is offensive. Why say something that might hurt someone when you have no need to? No big deal to try cut it out.

I'm still kind of shocked when I see US TV and they use the term 'spaz'.

 

[Opto]

I stopped saying it after a friend becoming a special ed teacher said that it should be avoided. Easy enough

 

[Puppen]

What fundamental difference does it make to use the phrase "mentally disabled" vs "mentally retarded"? Do you think scrubbing the word from the lexicon somehow magically solves the problem? Am I hurting someone's feelings when I accurately describe a real condition? If so, where do you draw the line?

If you strictly want to say that we should stop using the word as an insult, then sure, I'm on board with you 100%. But I don't think people should ever be called stupid or an idiot in an insulting manner, either.

The fundamental difference is that one is offensive and one isn't. Not using deragatory words about the disabled doesn't "magically solve" the problem but it's a step in the right direction. And insults like stupid or idiot are typically used towards people who aren't disabled, so it's not even remotely the same thing. I don't understand why you have such a problem with this.

 

[Striek]

Lets be honest, if retard isn't used then whatever the proper terminology is will be co-opted next. Just like every other term. Its a difficult subject, I don't think people use it to demean people, but these words literally describe people of low intelligence, which is a very negative trait. So if you want to insult someones intelligence, using the modern term for having low intelligence makes sense. Its less obviously wrong than gendered or sexualised insults.

 

[SMattera]

The fundamental difference is that one is offensive and one isn't. Not using deragatory words about the disabled doesn't "magically solve" the problem but it's a step in the right direction. And insults like stupid or idiot are typically used towards people who aren't disabled, so it's not even remotely the same thing. I don't understand why you have such a problem with this.

OK, I think I've found our fundamental difference here.

I have never once, in my entire life, observed someone call someone who is actually mentally retarded "retarded" in an offensive manner. Clearly, that is absolutely deplorable behavior. Beyond awful.

I've heard it used in one of two ways:
1. "Yeah, my son has some problems, unfortunately. He's severally mentally retarded."[where the man's son in question has real tangible disabilities]
2. "John spilled the beer! You're such a retard." [Where John is a normally functioning individual]

I totally understand objections to the second instance, and see how people can find it offensive. That said, it doesn't personally bother me. I give people the benefit of the doubt, knowing that they don't truly mean any malice.

My issue lies with people that want to scrub the language, and tell you what words you can and cannot use. Orwell, Carlin, and Pinker have written/spoken quite a bit about this subject.

 

[Grinchy]

I agree with OP.

But this "can't say x word" thing might be going too far, like banning proper words from the dictionary.

What's strange to me is how people always say, "Someone in my family has ____, so the rest of the world can't say ____."

Plenty of us have had very close family members die horrifically to cancer, but there's no outrage over using that word. Can someone make a "C-word" thread please? Because my anecdotal experience should determine how the rest of the world is allowed to interact. "This post gave me cancer." "My astrological sign is cancer." OMG, stop triggering me. That word is no longer allowed!

Everyone wants to be on some crusade these days. Don't say thug, don't say retard. It all just boils down to people wanting to feel like they're in charge of something. We aren't all born with the natural right to never see or hear things that clash with our personal experiences. Get over yourselves. I don't personally use the word "retarded" outside of a scientific setting, but it's so silly to go through this crazy cycle of replacing words whose replacements will have their own threads made in 3 years.

 

[PipefishUK]

What's strange to me is how people always say, "Someone in my family has ____, so the rest of the world can't say ____."

I'd say is fine to use in a factual, medical type way - although outdated, some people still use it in that way.

What I disagree with is using it as an insult.

It's more of a personal nasty insult. Where as, 'this post gave me cancer' seems more just a stupid thing to say that doesn't seem to be as nasty. Obviously it might upset some people, but not in the same way.

 

[Striek]

I'd say is fine to use in a factual, medical type way - although outdated, some people still use it in that way.

What I disagree with is using it as an insult.

It's more of a personal nasty insult. Where as, 'this post gave me cancer' seems more just a stupid thing to say that doesn't seem to be as nasty. Obviously it might upset some people, but not in the same way.

I don't understand the logic (or lack thereof here). Cancer and low intellect are both real, very awful things that affect lots and lots of people in different ways. Its exactly the same thing. They can equally offend people.

 

[Christine]

What's strange to me is how people always say, "Someone in my family has ____, so the rest of the world can't say ____."

Plenty of us have had very close family members die horrifically to cancer, but there's no outrage over using that word. Can someone make a "C-word" thread please? Because my anecdotal experience should determine how the rest of the world is allowed to interact. "This post gave me cancer." "My astrological sign is cancer." OMG, stop triggering me. That word is no longer allowed!

Everyone wants to be on some crusade these days. Don't say thug, don't say retard. It all just boils down to people wanting to feel like they're in charge of something. We aren't all born with the natural right to never see or hear things that clash with our personal experiences. Get over yourselves. I don't personally use the word "retarded" outside of a scientific setting, but it's so silly to go through this crazy cycle of replacing words whose replacements will have their own threads made in 3 years.

That is an astonishingly, spectacularly bad example in this venue. Pairing it with that other quote is truly inappropriate, bordering on dishonesty.

This was a bad post, and you should feel bad about yourself for having made it.

 

[kingwingin]

The definition of retarded is less advanced in mental, physical or social development. Im sure the majority of us fall into catagory #3

 

[Cameron122]

I choose to apply the Christopher Titus method to that word.

the story about his friend with cerebral palsy. Something I would do lmao

 

[Puppen]

I don't understand the logic (or lack thereof here). Cancer and low intellect are both real, very awful things that affect lots and lots of people in different ways. Its exactly the same thing. They can equally offend people.

I can't believe what I'm reading. Cancer is a medical condition, it's not an insult to a marginalized group of people. The explicit purpose of the R word among society is to be an insult to a marginalized group of people. A flippant use of the word cancer is not targeting any individual or number of individuals, it's equating a medical condition to something. Using the R word on the other hand knocks down the disabled community as a whole as inferior human beings in service of making an insult.

What's strange to me is how people always say, "Someone in my family has ____, so the rest of the world can't say ____."

Plenty of us have had very close family members die horrifically to cancer, but there's no outrage over using that word. Can someone make a "C-word" thread please? Because my anecdotal experience should determine how the rest of the world is allowed to interact. "This post gave me cancer." "My astrological sign is cancer." OMG, stop triggering me. That word is no longer allowed!

Everyone wants to be on some crusade these days. Don't say thug, don't say retard. It all just boils down to people wanting to feel like they're in charge of something. We aren't all born with the natural right to never see or hear things that clash with our personal experiences. Get over yourselves. I don't personally use the word "retarded" outside of a scientific setting, but it's so silly to go through this crazy cycle of replacing words whose replacements will have their own threads made in 3 years.

You haven't the slightest fucking clue what families with disabled kids go through. If all they're asking for is for the public to show a little more empathy towards them, to not use one hurtful word, why is that too much for you?

 

[User 479360]

I made a conscious effort to stop saying it, and for the most part it has worked. It still slips out every now and again, but I feel bad when it does.

I, myself, have a mental disability, and my sister's physically disabled. I've been around and helped a lot of people who fall under this word's category. And, 60-100 years ago, I likely would have, too.

I will forever regret engaging with kids in kindergarten who ran around like idiots and called it R***** Racing.

 

[Striek]

I can't believe what I'm reading. Cancer is a medical condition, it's not an insult to a marginalized group of people. The explicit purpose of the R word among society is to be an insult to a marginalized group of people. A flippant use of the word cancer is not targeting any individual or number of individuals, it's equating a medical condition to something. Using the R word on the other hand knocks down the disabled community as a whole as inferior human beings in service of making an insult

I don't know how to respond, because to me you've just taken things that apply to both and yet used them selectively. Maybe this is a matter of perspective, because I'm genuinely confused but trying to understand.

Retardation, or mental disability, is a medical condition, not an insult. The explicit purpose of the R word is to categorise a medical condition. A flippant use of the word retard is not targeting any individual or number of individuals, it's equating a medical condition to something. Using the C word on the other hand knocks down the cancer community as a whole as inferior human beings in service of making an insult.

This rephrasing is just as valid and meaningless. I mean its perfectly OK that you are offended by the word retard used as an insult, you are entitled to feel such and its understandable, but you can't OTOH tell me, or anyone else, that they can't be offended by using a word describing an utterly equally serious malady as the butt of a joke. In every way they are equivalent.

 

[Chinner]

Can we stop using the S word - you know, the 'stupid' word.

People say "dude, that is so stupid" but it is a highly offensive word towards people of low intelligence and it associates a negatively charged word to entire demographics. There's nothing wrong with low intelligence people.

Ideally, we need to remove all negatively linked words from the world. Some of my best friends are of low intelligence and they're being constantly triggered.

For example instead of saying 'stupid' or 'retarded' we would instead say 'not ideal' or 'the opposite of good'.

 

[Cameron122]

I've been trying to not say it. I've just said it so long. Pretty hypocritical of me tbh, since I am disabled.

 

[Puppen]

I don't know how to respond, because to me you've just taken things that apply to both and yet used them selectively. Maybe this is a matter of perspective, because I'm genuinely confused but trying to understand.

Retardation, or mental disability, is a medical condition, not an insult. The explicit purpose of the R word is to categorise a medical condition. A flippant use of the word retard is not targeting any individual or number of individuals, it's equating a medical condition to something. Using the C word on the other hand knocks down the cancer community as a whole as inferior human beings in service of making an insult.

This rephrasing is just as valid and meaningless. I mean its perfectly OK that you are offended by the word retard used as an insult, you are entitled to feel such and its understandable, but you can't OTOH tell me, or anyone else, that they can't be offended by using a word describing an utterly equally serious malady as the butt of a joke. In every way they are equivalent.

This is intellectual dishonesty of the highest possible order. Where have you ever in your life seen people insulting cancer patients or survivors? Do cancer patients need advocates and counseling because they get picked on ever since birth? And don't even try to suggest the R word isn't used 99% of the time as an insult to the disabled. People who actually deal with them on a medical level hardly ever use that word anymore, if ever, because the parents and disabled themselves consider it hurtful.

Can we stop using the S word - you know, the 'stupid' word.

People say "dude, that is so stupid" but it is a highly offensive word towards people of low intelligence and it associates a negatively charged word to entire demographics. There's nothing wrong with low intelligence people.

Ideally, we need to remove all negatively linked words from the world. Some of my best friends are of low intelligence and they're being constantly triggered.

For example instead of saying 'stupid' or 'retarded' we would instead say 'not ideal' or 'the opposite of good'.

The R word is bad because it further alienates a minority group of people, furthering their perception as being an "other". Stupid is a universal insult that can be applied to anyone and anything.

 

[Striek]

This is intellectual dishonesty of the highest possible order. Where have you ever in your life seen people insulting cancer patients or survivors? Do cancer patients need advocates and counseling because they get picked on ever since birth? And don't even try to suggest the R word isn't used 99% of the time as an insult to the disabled. People who actually deal with them on a medical level hardly ever use that word anymore, if ever, because the parents and disabled themselves consider it hurtful.

Wut.

First of all, I've never once in my life seen people picking on disabled people. Ever. Secondly, cancer patients need advocates and counselling because of the whole dying thing. Thirdly, bullshit. The vassssssssssssssssssssssst majority of uses of the word retard would not be directed as insults at the disabled. Don't try and shutdown that argument before its made, because its ridiculous. Last point is irrelevant when discussing its context as an insult.

 

[goldenpp72]

You're either ignorant or trolling. The word "retarded" is and always has been used to either directly or indirectly mock the mentally disabled. Everyone knows it, it's just been so ingrained in our culture that no one cares, and it certainly doesn't help that the ones being mocked don't have as loud a public voice as other minority groups.



No it isn't. It's a clueless one. The issue is extremely simple - it's a derogatory term for people dealt a bad hand in life. It furthers a stigma that they are lesser and inferior to everyone else. Why use it? Why not just use a different word, one that doesn't target actual people?

Let's ban the word ugly next, or anything else that is negative towards another person.

 

[Puppen]

Wut.

First of all, I've never once in my life seen people picking on disabled people. Ever. Secondly, cancer patients need advocates and counselling because of the whole dying thing. Thirdly, bullshit. The vassssssssssssssssssssssst majority of uses of the word retard would not be directed as insults at the disabled. Don't try and shutdown that argument before its made, because its ridiculous. Last point is irrelevant when discussing its context as an insult.

Counseling over society and other kids/adults seeing you as inferior is not the same as counseling to process death. I can't believe I have to spell this out. People pick on the disabled all the time, get out of your bubble.

 

[SMattera]

Yeah, I really just don't even know what Puppen is talking about. I've seen people do a lot of very mean things before, but I have never heard someone hurl the R-word at someone who was actually disabled as an insult.

Once I was listening to talk radio, and the host accused his co-host of "smoking crack" after he said something crazy. A guy called in, and said he found the phrase deeply upsetting and offensive, because one of his family members was literally addicted to crack and it destroyed his family. Saying "you're smoking crack" in place of "you're crazy" trivializes the very real problem of crack addiction.

Of course, saying "you're crazy" instead doesn't really solve the problem, as it arguably trivializes mental illness. So again, where do you draw the line?

 

[Infinite_Daremo]

GAF could make a PC Sesame Street with all the words it wants to ban. I use the word all the time, mainly when an idea is stupid. I rarely use the word to describe a person though.

 

[Surface of Me]

Retarded was once a clinical term, society has chewed it up and spit it out as a slur. Language evolves.

 

[Puppen]

Yeah, I really just don't even know what Puppen is talking about. I've seen people do a lot of very mean things before, but I have never heard someone hurl the R-word at someone who was actually disabled as an insult.

Once I was listening to talk radio, and the host accused his co-host of "smoking crack" after he said something crazy. A guy called in, and said he found the phrase deeply upsetting and offensive, because one of his family members was literally addicted to crack and it destroyed his family. Saying "you're smoking crack" in place of "you're crazy" trivializes the very real problem of crack addiction.

Of course, saying "you're crazy" instead doesn't really solve the problem, as it arguably trivializes mental illness. So again, where do you draw the line?

Your anecdotal evidence is worthless. If the word is never used as an insult as you seem to be claiming, why is the entire disabled community (parents, organizations, etc) against people casually using it? Are they all just imaging things?

 

[Zekes!]

I had to explain to two separate interns (late teens /early twenties) in the past six months why this word and a homophobic word weren't appropriate. I believe the reasoning was "I didn't mean it like that" and "Where I come from that's not offensive"

Yeah I remember when I was younger I tried using that justification all the time for my choice of language. Turns out it's a shit justification.

Having a conversation about adopting more inclusive language is always tough, especially in real life. People don't like being corrected and will often dig in their heels because they can't see past themselves to understand how language can actually affect other people in a very real and negative way, even if you "didn't mean it like that".

 

[SMattera]

Your anecdotal evidence is worthless. If the word is never used as an insult as you seem to be claiming, why is the entire disabled community (parents, organizations, etc) against people casually using it? Are they all just imaging things?

Well first you're making inaccurate claims. The entire disabled community (what does that even mean?) is not against it.

But, in general, my assessment of the initiative has been similar to the "that's so gay" campaign of a few years ago, where they encouraged people to stop using the word "gay" in place of "bad". It wasn't that people were calling gay people gay as an insult, they were just equating the concept with negativity.

Again, I could justify a similar thrust for retard, but to ban the word outright is absurd language policing.

 

[The Awesomest]

Today when I was driving, I accidentally cut someone off, not watching where I was going. They flashed their brights at me and I felt bad and figured that was that. Then as I was waiting at a red light, they pulled up next to me despite their green and honked to get my attention and had a printed paper sign saying "YOU DRIVE LIKE A RETARD." It felt a lot worse than I expected it would, couldn't get it out of my head for the rest of the day. There's really no nice way to use that word.

 

[Puppen]

Well first you're making inaccurate claims. The entire disabled community (what does that even mean?) is not against it.

But, in general, my assessment of the initiative has been similar to the "that's so gay" campaign of a few years ago, where they encouraged people to stop using the word "gay" in place of "bad". It wasn't that people were calling gay people gay as an insult, they were just equating the concept with negativity.

Again, I could justify a similar thrust for retard, but to ban the word outright is absurd language policing.

Banning a word outright is impossible. Getting people to stop using a word because it's hurtful is the goal, and the disabled community is anyone with a mentally disabled family member or anyone who works closely with them (teachers, bus drivers, counselors). The vast majority of them see it as a hurtful word.

 

[Zekes!]

Banning a word outright is impossible. Getting people to stop using a word because it's hurtful is the goal, and the disabled community is anyone with a mentally disabled family member or anyone who works closely with them (teachers, bus drivers, counselors). The vast majority of them see it as a hurtful word.

I work with kids on the autism spectrum, so if I'm around other people who are tossing the word 'retarded' around we're going to be having a conversation

 

[UrbanRats]

I stopped using it for the most part, but sometimes i slip up, due to habit.

My reasoning it's pretty basic about it: it makes a lot of people uncomfortable, and i gain very little by using that word instead of countless other synonyms, so i don't use it (or try not to).
I didn't think too hard about it.

Language evolves, and sometimes words acquire a whole inner life, beyond their dictionary definition, if you are to live in society with other people, you can't ignore that.
Whether it's fair or not, or whether you like it or not, are a whole other can of worms.

You can say whatever you want, but despite your burning desires, you can't control how other people will react to it.

So you have to ask yourself if it's worth the fight.

Essentially, "it's just a word" goes both ways.

 

[ramparter]

I don't like how saying a single word is insulting. Then again I don't live in the land of political correctness.