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[jonno394]

Poor parents that they can't enforce a fantasy personality on a living being.

Honestly it feels worse than death to know that your identity is nonexistent for the outside world and you only exist as a wishfulfillment for ypur parents. And absolutely nothing more.

Like it's like the only reason in your life is to destroy your own soul and replace it with a fake fantasy persona.

Sorry but it's horrible and I find parents are absolutely accountable.

Murdering a living body is wrong but so should be murdering the psyche and identity of a human.

I wonder how hard a child coming out as transgender would be to accept as a pareng uneducated on the matter and raised in a society where man is man and woman is woman. I find it hard to completely blame the parents for not accepting something they both don't understand and are likely truly unaware of.

Of course I believe the overriding maternal/paternal instincts should kick in and make them support their child but I think we cannot hold them fully accountable for something society has drilled in to them.

 

[Conor_Fool]

*sigh* I just typed out a long ass response but it just simply isn't worth it. The mother's beliefs are disgusting but the witch hunt started on here and elsewhere is fucking despicable. What do you all want to accomplish by pasting the mother's picture and name around the internet? Maybe she'll kill herself too? What a victory that would be.

 

[collige]

I wonder how hard a child coming out as transgender would be to accept as a pareng uneducated on the matter and raised in a society where man is man and woman is woman. I find it hard to completely blame the parents for not accepting something they both don't understand and are likely truly unaware of.

Of course I believe the overriding maternal/paternal instincts should kick in and make them support their child but I think we cannot hold them fully accountable for something society has drilled in to them.

I could understand this if they didn't double on their bullshit and make the child's life worse instead of educating themselves.

 

[lexi]

*sigh* I just typed out a long ass response but it just simply isn't worth it. The mother's beliefs are disgusting but the witch hunt started on here and elsewhere is fucking despicable. What do you all want to accomplish by pasting the mother's picture and name around the internet? Maybe she'll kill herself too? What a victory that would be.

Witch hunts are okay when you're actually hunting witches.

 

[.GqueB.]

Instead of working around a lie (as comforting as it may be), why don't you just accept you lost the genetic lottery and continue living your life without the disease defining it. I mean that's what you're already doing right? Why do you need to lie to yourself while covering it up with "faith"?

I think it's unhealthy for society when many people will just lie to themselves to feel good.

We all lie to ourselves to feel good. Looking down on someone else's form of "lying" is utterly pointless.

 

[Fotheringay]

*sigh* I just typed out a long ass response but it just simply isn't worth it. The mother's beliefs are disgusting but the witch hunt started on here and elsewhere is fucking despicable. What do you all want to accomplish by pasting the mother's picture and name around the internet? Maybe she'll kill herself too? What a victory that would be.

It's not really a witch-hunt when all of the mother's reactions are out in the open and clearly understood. These parents are directly responsible for their daughter's suicide, who cares what happens to them.

 

[Crossing Eden]

Textbook example of awful archaic parenting. RIP.

 

[Amalthea]

Witch hunts are okay when you're actually hunting witches.

Now you're mean to real witches.

Parents like her mother are more like witch hunters. Hounding an innocent person to death in the name of piety.

 

[mollipen]

The easiest scapegoat is the parents, transgender and transsexualism aren't so simple.

Parents form a whole identity on their children, when that identity is challenged, or, in the case of transgender guys and gals, completely destroyed, it's absolutely devastating, it's basically like their kid died. The process to cope with it is a difficult one.

That's why awareness campaigns are so important, people need information, parents need this information, without it we have this unfortunate consequences.

There's a point when you need to decide what's more important: the fantasy child you have in your head, or the actual child you have in your life.

I absolutely understand that having a child who is transgender can be a very difficult things for many parents to understand. So what do you do at that point? You do everything you can to learn what that means, and how to help your child. Having a kid is hard—if you're not ready for that, don't have one. You don't get to pick the child you're given, just like they don't get to pick the parents they have.

 

[Conor_Fool]

Witch hunts are okay when you're actually hunting witches.

I understand that she played a very significant role in her daughter's suicide. It is tragic and in a perfect world it is a completely preventable death. But the world is not perfect and it's just not that black and white. All I'm saying is that starting a witch hunt for the mother accomplishes absolutely nothing and only makes matters worse. I can't imagine how disgusting the messages that are piling into her facebook inbox are if she hasn't deleted it by now. Educate the ignorant, don't hunt them down. All the latter accomplishes is a circle of hatred.

It's not really a witch-hunt when all of the mother's reactions are out in the open and clearly understood. These parents are directly responsible for their daughter's suicide, who cares what happens to them.

Look a little deeper...we should all care what happens to them. People should help them understand how their beliefs directly influenced their child's suicide, but they shouldn't treat them like inhuman fucking scum. Might as well get something good out of a tragedy like this by helping them grasp the bigger picture rather than quite possibly driving them to suicide from all the hatred.

 

[Box of Bunnies]

I wonder how hard a child coming out as transgender would be to accept as a pareng uneducated on the matter and raised in a society where man is man and woman is woman. I find it hard to completely blame the parents for not accepting something they both don't understand and are likely truly unaware of.

Being ignorant is fine. Gender dysphoria is a rare, weird thing. But the answer to ignorance is to research and expand your understanding, not to send your daughter to a Christian counselor who is probably more interested in "praying the gay away" than understanding your kid's medical condition.

 

[Amalthea]

I can't believe we live in a world where mass-hysteria over the stuff some bronze-age nutjob got told by invisible people (or by burning bushes) is still seen as perfectly healthy but biological realities aren't.

 

[Sai-kun]

*sigh* I just typed out a long ass response but it just simply isn't worth it. The mother's beliefs are disgusting but the witch hunt started on here and elsewhere is fucking despicable. What do you all want to accomplish by pasting the mother's picture and name around the internet? Maybe she'll kill herself too? What a victory that would be.

who's witch hunting? nobody here has posted any information about the mother except that vile and disgusting facebook post which is everywhere and takes like a few minutes to find. it's linked in like every single news article i've seen about this

i'm not out to make her do or realize anything, but something is comforting about knowing i'm not the only one who believes she's a complete failure of a human being. you might be the only one to bring up her dying as some weird hyperbolic hypothetical.

 

[Future]

Transgendered people definitely have my vote for hardest life. People have shown time and time again that they have trouble with shit they can't relate too (how can a man be attracted to men?, why is affirmative action needed, why would you ever get an abortion). Simply percentage wise, the gender in the wrong physical body thing is felt by so few it's gonna take awhile before we get meaningful change and global acceptance.

I mean, simply due to the fact that transitioning is important at a young age you might thing this would be a part of medical procedure for young kids: determining if a transition is needed at a young age and doing it automatically when needed and all parties want it. But that would require national acceptance of these procedures and an effort to make them more commonplace

 

[Conor_Fool]

who's witch hunting? nobody here has posted any information about the mother except that vile and disgusting facebook post which is everywhere and takes like a few minutes to find. it's linked in like every single news article i've seen about this

i don't think she'll realize anything from me, but something is comforting about knowing i'm not the only one who believes she's a complete failure of a human being.

My original post that I deleted had to do with that picture being spread around the whole internet, not just targeting GAF. Maybe I just have too much sympathy and hope for genuinely terrible people. I should never have posted. At least articles like this can help spread more awareness to parents.

 

[ibyea]

This is wrong. So wrong. One person killed herself because her parents saw her as a thing to be molded in their image than a person. I hope some day I get to see these kind of attitudes against transgender people change.

 

[Moff]

goddamn christian parents and fucking christian "therapists", what the fuck is that? are those the same people who "cure" they gay? These fuckers need to be locked up.

 

[Buckethead]

So sad.

 

[Fotheringay]

I understand that she played a very significant role in her daughter's suicide. It is tragic and in a perfect world it is a completely preventable death. But the world is not perfect and it's just not that black and white. All I'm saying is that starting a witch hunt for the mother accomplishes absolutely nothing and only makes matters worse. I can't imagine how disgusting the messages that are piling into her facebook inbox are if she hasn't deleted it by now. Educate the ignorant, don't hunt them down. All the latter accomplishes is a circle of hatred.



Look a little deeper...we should all care what happens to them. People should help them understand how their beliefs directly influenced their child's suicide, but they shouldn't treat them like inhuman fucking scum. Might as well get something good out of a tragedy like this by helping them grasp the bigger picture rather than quite possibly driving them to suicide from all the hatred.

While I understand your reaction to be one of teaching and understanding, these parents doubled down AFTER THEIR CHILD COMMITTED SUICIDE. These are not people to be swayed by a deeper understanding of gender dysphoria, and at the risk of sounding too internet atheist, they held their belief in God and their religion above that of the well-being of their child. There is nothing to be gained from attempting to educate them. I do agree with you however on the idea that attacks against them will undermine attempts to garner sympathy and understanding from others.

 

[jonno394]

Being ignorant is fine. Gender dysphoria is a rare, weird thing. But the answer to ignorance is to research and expand your understanding, not to send your daughter to a Christian counselor who is probably more interested in "praying the gay away" than understanding your kid's medical condition.

People can be scared of things they don't understand and its easier to pretend it doesn't exist than to adapt. It doesn't mean they are bad people though, just stuck with an old mentality.

 

[Whom_Gods_Annoy]

and you've got the mother completely denying that her daughter was driven to suicide, misgendering, and using the wrong name numerous times

upstanding parent of the year award

Absolutely disgusting. It's churches and people like this that give my religion a bad name. Ugh, just awful all around.

 

[RM8]

Witch hunts are okay when you're actually hunting witches.

Yup.

Sorry but I can imagine very few things worse than pushing your kid to suicide because of the ruleset of your cult.

 

[RayMaker]

Poor person. Its a real tragedy. I feel like what bill mauher would say about this.

The person could of got his male hormones shut off before puberty and lived a more true life as a woman.

It must of been really bad for the kid to snuff it.I can't imagine what he must of been going through.

 

[Aquamarine]

A very powerful, heartbreaking story.

RIP Leelah.

 

[Neoriceisgood]

Absolutely horrible. /:

May she rest in peace.

 

[GaimeGuy]

Read the whole thing, and I respect her sad, horrible, miserable decision (one no one should ever even have to consider); out of all the things to commit suicide for, that should never have to be one of them. Stuff like this should never even happen! I wonder what the parents have to say. if you can't love your child for who they are, you shouldn't be cruel and bring to this world an unloved, forsaken child; no one deserves that fate.

The parents should be ashamed of themselves for multiple reasons, and I put this all on them. This is truly, truly awful. I hope her death was not in vain, but only time and other people will tell.

They probably only regret they couldn't "save" their son, and are disappointed that their little Joshua never embraced God's love.

Or something.

 

[forms]

As the parent to a trans teenager, news like these are almost overbearingly hard to read. I can't even imagine what it must feel like to be caught in the wrong body, and the thought of her having to face life without the support of her parents and loved ones is just too much. Poor, poor Leelah, how I would have loved to be able to help you. It saddens me to no end imagining how much better your life could have been, had your parents not been misguided morons.

 

[Soriku]

We all lie to ourselves to feel good. Looking down on someone else's form of "lying" is utterly pointless.

I don't think there's anything really obvious that I'm lying to myself about.

 

[BladeoftheImmortal]

May she rest in peace. I wish had picked a better way to go, though. That trucker is never going to get over this.

 

[Zelias]

Tragic. The girl is dead, her mother remains ignorant. Horrible all round.

RIP.

 

[Opus Angelorum]

The truly sad part of this is that the mother was more ashamed of her daughter when she was living, than in death.

 

[Dreams-Visions]

awful situation, even more awful parents.

 

[hullostranger]

Thank you for sharing this. Made me realize the differences between a gay person and one that identifies as transgender.

RIP Leelah

 

[jonnyp]

Tragic. F*** those parents and their religious BS.

 

[Ikael]

I find these suicides stadistics staggering, and the story to be sad as fuck. But the mother's attitude... Jesus, that is something else. Selfish and ignorant beyond belief. Worst mother ever. The worst thing is that not even the suicide of her daughter can make her change her mind, she would rather live in denial than accept her responsability.

 

[Marvel]

God this is tragic, trans people do not deserve this. Breaks my heart knowing there's people and families out there that treat them like this.

RIP Leelah.

Fuck those "Parents"

My heart also goes out to that truck driver also.

 

[Wiktor]

I feel like in cases such as those the child should be able to sue his parents if they don't give aproval for the transformation process. Courts have access to good enough psychologist to determine if the person is really trans and if he/she is then courts should enforce operations or drugs that stun the puberty. And parents should be forced to pay for all of it.

 

[RJT]

Apparently she posted on reddit a couple of months ago telling her story. People were telling her to just leave her family, but I guess that's easier said than done. Pretty depressing story...

 

[Pristine_Condition]

What reason is the suicide note a "problem"? Is ignoring that it exists and, further, the causes behind Leelah's suicide constructive? Is not hearing her own words and what she went through important to humanizing this problem?

Please check you PMs.

 

[Amory]

Man the way she killed herself is pretty fucked up. The driver of that truck has to have that on his soul the rest of his life. I'd imagine it'll also fuck with his career, considering he drives for a living.

Sad all around

 

[Treo360]

Suicide by having an innocent kill you is extremely selfish. My thoughts are with the driver and his family.

Tragic all the way around.

 

[Malvolio]

So much ignorance causing so much pain. It's a tragedy that we are left trying to learn from her death rather than feel empowered by what she might have done in life.

 

[DoctorFling]

Awful.

 

[RoadHazard]

Religiously inspired intolerance kills another. OK, not by itself, but it sure as hell didn't help matters any... Let others live their lives as they want, you close-minded bigots.

 

[Montresor]

I feel really uncomfortable calling Leelah (chosen name) "her" or "daughter". Could be ignorance but Leelah is a male, a son, as far as I'm concerned. That doesn't mean Leelah can't feel like a girl trapped in a man's body. That doesn't mean Leelah doesn't have the right to transition. That doesn't mean Leelah doesn't have the right to be respected by peers, or to be loved, or to pursue a happy, fulfilling life. That doesn't mean Leelah was not justified in committing suicide. The parents were huge pieces of shit and in general the societal stigma against transgendered and gay people is horrible. Hopefully I don't come off as intentionally offensive - ignorant, maybe, I'll admit that, but I just wanted to get that off my chest.

If I had a son and he looked like what the OP looked like, and he still had his male genitalia, and he has not started any sort of transitioning, then he's a "he" and he's my "son". I'd love him no matter what though, and support him through whatever he wanted, and call him by Leelah if he wished too. I like to think that when I have kids, if they ever come out as gay or transgendered or whatever, we'll have lived in a household in which we aren't flip-floppers. We won't be the house that hated gays and transgenders and then suddenly sees the light once their kid comes out as a part of this group. My household will always preach tolerance.

 

[red13th]

I feel really uncomfortable calling Leelah (chosen name) "her" or "daughter". Could be ignorance but Leelah is a male, a son, as far as I'm concerned. That doesn't mean Leelah can't feel like a girl trapped in a man's body. That doesn't mean Leelah doesn't have the right to transition. That doesn't mean Leelah doesn't have the right to be respected by peers, or to be loved, or to live a happy, fulfilling life. That doesn't mean Leelah was not justified in committing suicide. The parents were huge pieces of shit and in general the societal stigma against transgendered and gay people is horrible. Hopefully I don't come off as intentionally offensive - ignorant, maybe, I'll admit that, but I just wanted to get that off my chest.

If I had a son and he looked like what the OP looked like, and he still had his male genitalia, and he has not started any sort of transitioning, then he's a "he" and he's my "son". I'd love him no matter what though, and support him through whatever he wanted, and call him by Leelah if he wished too. I like to think that when I have kids, if they ever come out as gay or transgendered or whatever, we'll have lived in a household in which we aren't flip-floppers. We won't be the house that hated gays and transgenders and then suddenly sees the light once their kid comes out as a part of this group. My household will always preach tolerance.

Yes you are right, that came across as extremely ignorant. Please educate yourself.

 

[1.21Gigawatts]

Horrible.
I'm baffled by the parents, their ignorance, boneheadedness and lack of love, tolerance and understanding. They are mainly responsible here and going by that facebook post they either still don't understand or are in denial.
I can't even imagine how horrible is must to grow up and not even have parants supporting you, and worse than that, having parents who actively work against you.

Apparently she posted on reddit a couple of months ago telling her story. People were telling her to just leave her family, but I guess that's easier said than done. Pretty depressing story...

Interesting debate there about how mental/emotional abuse doesn't carry the same weight as physical abuse in courts.
Especially knowing to what it led in this particular case.

 

[Snkfanatic]

Wow....that letter was very hard to read

RIP....

 

[The Boat]

Absolutely heartbreaking...

 

[CLBridges]

So sad, RIP. You can not truly say you love someone if you cannot accept them for who they really are. "Unconditional love is just that", something my mother always says and I really wish this person could have had that on their side.