This!
I remember your music being the first I bought in years. Glad I did too. Really glad you're still with us. "My Friends (ft. Everyone)" is still my favorite track.
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This forum stopped me from killing myself. I think it's worth keeping.
- Thread starter Sadsic
- Start date
I remember your music being the first I bought in years. Glad I did too. Really glad you're still with us. "My Friends (ft. Everyone)" is still my favorite track.
I can feel the pain coming, and a million eyes watching in amusement
I feel the same as well.
But the sense of community is far more than the website it is centered around, and it is in moments of introspection like these, wherein the toxicity is excised from the surrounding framework, that allows community to transcend that from which it began.
lvl99 Pixel
Member
my whole family is dead or dying, and im not sure how long i have left myself, but at least it looks like some people can be helped. Im sure the same people will be around for you regardless of neogaf.
LumpOfCole
Member
We don't need to drink the milkshake, we just need a new duck.
Martinski43
Member
Have i missed something? Seems so..?
Why would or is the forum shutting down, what is going on or has happened? I haven't kept up to any drama or such at all so someone please fill me in.
Why would or is the forum shutting down, what is going on or has happened? I haven't kept up to any drama or such at all so someone please fill me in.
NHarmonic.
Member
Whenever i was sick or felt like i was going to have an anxiety attack this forum was a nice way of keeping me calm.
I can relate OP.
I can relate OP.
NESpowerhouse
Perhaps he's wondering why someone would shoot a man before throwing him out of a plane.
Good Lord.
Well, that's a truly depressing thread bump to read through.
Do you know who set all the policies and structures and built this place from the ground up and placed special emphasis on issues like depression here (because "you-know-who" has it)? Do you know who dropped whatever they were doing and stayed up all night personally *many* times over the years after being notified of a suicide note left by a gaffer, immediately rushing to determine their location so that local emergency services could be sent to them wherever they were in the world to try to save them from self-harm? You know who shared his personal details on here knowing that it'd all be obsessively archived by weirdos on the internet forever, but didn't mind the cost if sharing those first-hand experiences and advice given about life and depression and weight loss and numerous other struggles could help people in his community make it through to the other side of whatever they were facing?
The guy you were all trying to figure out the fastest way to throw overboard the instant you heard word of an alleged personal scandal.
Happy Valentine's.
Do you know who set all the policies and structures and built this place from the ground up and placed special emphasis on issues like depression here (because "you-know-who" has it)? Do you know who dropped whatever they were doing and stayed up all night personally *many* times over the years after being notified of a suicide note left by a gaffer, immediately rushing to determine their location so that local emergency services could be sent to them wherever they were in the world to try to save them from self-harm? You know who shared his personal details on here knowing that it'd all be obsessively archived by weirdos on the internet forever, but didn't mind the cost if sharing those first-hand experiences and advice given about life and depression and weight loss and numerous other struggles could help people in his community make it through to the other side of whatever they were facing?
The guy you were all trying to figure out the fastest way to throw overboard the instant you heard word of an alleged personal scandal.
Happy Valentine's.
Catphish
Member
Not all, mate.
John Day
Member
I hope all this hassle lately don’t change your ways and views of this community. I’m pretty sure many here are grateful to you. It ain’t easy to do all this at all.
Happy day!
jufonuk
not tag worthy
Stay strong man. This forum is still full of good people. Kudos for all the good things you have done.
Blam
Member
I just want to say those people are long gone, and most likely won't ever be coming back. Just say strong around the holidays. We all need to keep it grounded.
A Link to the Past
Banned
I'm still here
AquaticSquirrel
Member
If I'm reading the tone/context of this post right that is kind of a shitty thing to chime in on with, given the situation/recent posts/context.
A Link to the Past
Banned
I would argue that it's somewhat dodgy that EviLore is grandstanding in this thread of all things. This thread is about someone's struggles, and as someone who struggles with suicide myself, I feel it inappropriate.
AquaticSquirrel
Member
Well I'm not trying to speak for him but in the chaos of the exodus there were tons of threads, crazy posts etc... so it's possible/probable that he never saw this thread at the time. Someone bumped the thread bringing back to page one that he likely saw the topic and opened the thread to be greeted with a flashback of the craziness of the time with people insulting him personally, calling for him to resign etc...
I mean it sounds like it came as a shock as he likely thought most of that was behind him. Weather you like him or dislike him I'm not here to debate and I'm not here to necessarily defend him or attack him but the man is only human and likely was hurt reading the thread given his own struggles/challenges with depression etc...
He probably just felt that seeing as it was an issue he was passionate about/close to his heart that he felt hurt and wanted to vent a little as well as inform people of some of the things he did/the way he felt behind the scenes that people likely wouldn't have been aware of.
Now could he have just ignored the thread and not said anything? Of course but he chose not to a chimed in on it.
I'm sorry if you have personally struggled with suicide, I wouldn't wish those feelings or depression on anyone.
I also still stand by my point that it's a bit of low blow when a different poster is replying with a goodwill message of solidarity to Evilore, someone who was at the time of the post likely feeling depression reading this thread, and then you chime in to say "No actually those people who hate you and said all of those terrible things to/about you and tried to ruin your reputation, not only are they still here, but I'm one of them". Seems a bit of a low blow to me anyway....
At least that was my perception, not trying to specifically have a go at you or a personal attack and I'll generally leave it at that for this topic as I don't want to go into a big derail or meta commentary.
Not all of us. Hope you're having a good day.
Blam
Member
Yeah this is what it felt like. I didn't really like that response to my post at all.
I read it totally differently. I read it as an "I'm not one of those people". *shrug* That's the internet for you - that guy's now banned, so maybe I read wrong.
Anyway, since I said a similar thing, what I meant was not everyone up and left. Not that I'm in particular support or against anything. It's a forum, but one where I didn't really want to participate in unnecessary drama at the end of all things.
Sorry, didn't intend to direct negativity toward the folks still here and contributing to a better future for the site and community. The team and I have put a lot of work in to turn things around and eventually forge a better outcome for this place than the one we had prior to the drama, which we're already starting to see bear fruit, and you guys and gals being on board with all that is what makes it possible and gives it meaning ultimately. I'm optimistic and motivated about running the site, in stark contrast to 2017's misery pit vibes on the board accompanied by some of the most traumatic personal issues I've ever had to confront one after another that year (and I'm not referring to #metoo). I'm okay, though, and NeoGAF's not just turning around but is also headed in a carefully and purposefully constructed direction I've put a lot of care into planning and executing (with the support of our supremely talented sysadmin team and perhaps NeoGAF's first true set of moderators in the proper sense, of whom I'm proud of already for how deftly they're guiding threads).
NeoGAF's traffic has doubled in the last 30 days alone, and an astonishing amount of real, challenging discussion is happening paired with an all-time low number of bans involved. It's wonderful to see it all play out as hoped and far better reflects my intent for this place than where we started to head in recent years.
Just took me to a bleak spot in the moment reading this thread, yes, for the reasons I mentioned. The "grandstanding," apparently.
No, I had not read it at the time back then. Or basically any of these threads beyond the titles. It was too hurtful to read the site at all that day. As silly or fragile as it might paint me as, I had to ask mods and friends and such to summarize or otherwise relay the gist of what was happening and being said at any given time on the site to me during peak head-on-spike mode, since I would start breaking down if I read it directly. I am used to infinite internet trolling and misanthropes in my direction and I normally don't sweat it at all and have fun sparring back and forth if time permits, but I legit care about my community, have put my heart into this place for over half my life already, and couldn't bear to read what was being said by the crowd as they burned it all down in spite and revelry.
But that's in the past, and may have been for the best, since things were so poisonous and miserable here in 2017 that it was taking a serious toll on my health and well-being beyond everyone else going on already. It was taking a serious toll on a lot of my ex-mods, too, some of whom had fallen into proper serious depression solely as a result of their involvement with the site, no doubt many users as well, but a vicious cycle had formed and decided to persist. With NeoGAF so successful and outlasting almost all the other major forums on the 'net and then some, it was like "winning," but hating the outcome and finding myself unsuccessful in all of my efforts to change outcomes anymore, while my life entered a period of serious turmoil...and then #metoo blindsided me and you know the rest. But let's stop there.
Now it's a fresh challenge and opportunity to utilize everything I've learned since the beginning of the whole journey, without pushback from a hostile userbase or a small contingent of duplicitous team members sabotaging our efforts to course correct or any of that. The internal structure is streamlined and not wishy-washy consensus peer group based anymore to any degree, or open to contrary agendas or egos. There's a clear vision being developed and executed, and hopefully you're seeing that play out to your liking and finding more occasions where you're inclined to participate.
Thanks for the support and kind words. Except for Snitch, who apparently thinks malicious porn bomb account suicides attempting to destroy NeoGAF in the name of Resetera are acceptable behavior as per the other thread I just nuked his account in. Virtuous and honorable individual all the way through. ;b
NeoGAF's traffic has doubled in the last 30 days alone, and an astonishing amount of real, challenging discussion is happening paired with an all-time low number of bans involved. It's wonderful to see it all play out as hoped and far better reflects my intent for this place than where we started to head in recent years.
Just took me to a bleak spot in the moment reading this thread, yes, for the reasons I mentioned. The "grandstanding," apparently.
No, I had not read it at the time back then. Or basically any of these threads beyond the titles. It was too hurtful to read the site at all that day. As silly or fragile as it might paint me as, I had to ask mods and friends and such to summarize or otherwise relay the gist of what was happening and being said at any given time on the site to me during peak head-on-spike mode, since I would start breaking down if I read it directly. I am used to infinite internet trolling and misanthropes in my direction and I normally don't sweat it at all and have fun sparring back and forth if time permits, but I legit care about my community, have put my heart into this place for over half my life already, and couldn't bear to read what was being said by the crowd as they burned it all down in spite and revelry.
But that's in the past, and may have been for the best, since things were so poisonous and miserable here in 2017 that it was taking a serious toll on my health and well-being beyond everyone else going on already. It was taking a serious toll on a lot of my ex-mods, too, some of whom had fallen into proper serious depression solely as a result of their involvement with the site, no doubt many users as well, but a vicious cycle had formed and decided to persist. With NeoGAF so successful and outlasting almost all the other major forums on the 'net and then some, it was like "winning," but hating the outcome and finding myself unsuccessful in all of my efforts to change outcomes anymore, while my life entered a period of serious turmoil...and then #metoo blindsided me and you know the rest. But let's stop there.
Now it's a fresh challenge and opportunity to utilize everything I've learned since the beginning of the whole journey, without pushback from a hostile userbase or a small contingent of duplicitous team members sabotaging our efforts to course correct or any of that. The internal structure is streamlined and not wishy-washy consensus peer group based anymore to any degree, or open to contrary agendas or egos. There's a clear vision being developed and executed, and hopefully you're seeing that play out to your liking and finding more occasions where you're inclined to participate.
Thanks for the support and kind words. Except for Snitch, who apparently thinks malicious porn bomb account suicides attempting to destroy NeoGAF in the name of Resetera are acceptable behavior as per the other thread I just nuked his account in. Virtuous and honorable individual all the way through. ;b
Blam
Member
That's a length read but it's refreshing to hear all these positive vibes. I hope this place truly does grow properly, and not maliciously this time around. I mean really account suicides only look bad. Makes it seem like you're just being toxic to prove a point which is honestly never good.
I want us all to grow as a community. Can't wait to see how 2018 is for GAF.
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GreatestHits
Member
The new start is interesting, I'm liking this place a lot more. I thought all the cool kids were the ones jumping ship and Jesus Christ was I wrong. In a way many of the most judgemental and hateful people from this site, hungry to serve their egos at the sake of others, have been successfully quarantined and sedated. That place isn't for me. The experiences I've had here are a direct result of your work, Lore. I appreciate that, and am proud to be here. Looking forward to the future of this place and it's reinforced, refined direction. Ill give support to those who need it like OP in any way I can. Cheers guys.
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Rich TAYLOR
Neo Member
That’s awesome Evilore. I’m happy to be here on this new, exciting journey. I love the slower pace anyway I checked out that RestEra place and it moves way too fast for me (also too many militant leftists) haha
Blam
Member
Musky_Cheese
Banned
Im still here. And since I am the chosen one, that important.
You’re welcome.
You’re welcome.
wondermega
Member
To SadSic, if you are still on these boards - glad you weathered the storm, you are a very talented person and deserve a lot of praise! To EL, interesting to see you pondering a little in this thread of all places - I wondered why it was bumped a bit. I think as many of us have observed the shifts that gaf, and social media in general, have been dealing with, it's just part of a larger picture, this story is far from over. We are still in a very early period of whatever all of this upheaval means, this new way we have of communicating. It brings about a lot of good, a lot of bad, it's just different, it's evolution. I suspect that the big unraveling/purge this place saw late last year is just another step, likely not the final one, but I would argue that these things, these massive dramatic occasions and their fallout are necessary for growth and change to occur. Personally I miss a lot of things about pre-October 2017 gaf, but at the same time this place has become a whole lot more tenable, a whole lot more sensible since then. It's... no longer frightening to merely try to converse with people in here, whatever the topic. It's refreshing. Not better overall, not worse either, just different. And I look forward to see what it continues to evolve into. For some context, look at what's coming out little-by-little from behind the scenes with things like Facebook and twitter, what's happened with Reddit (and it's predecessors). All of these things are incredibly messy, there is no set chartable path. But at the end of the day it is invigorating and exciting to be part of them and to see where it is all going. I've made lots of wonderful connections on here, there's been a lot of great discussion. I've no doubt that will never stop.
CampbellzSoup
Member
This forum is going to be fine now that the SJWs are pretty much gone and free speech and dialog can happen again
Droxcy
Member
Forums and old AIM chats have helped me so much and have given me so many good friendships that I'll never forget in my life time. It's amazing how going onto a forum and just posting and chatting to random people, with similar backgrounds, personalities and interests can brighten your day. I could be having the worst day ever, yet the moment I load my web browser I instantly feel better. So hope you're still feeling better than you were before
S
Sadsic
.
EviLore
running such a monstrous & highly visited forum, the amount of pressure and eyes on you, I can't even being to fathom the amount of stress you've endured in the amount of years GAF has been around. I too have ran decent sized discussion boards subject being Graphic Design 15k+ registered users + traffic from other sites due to resources we'd make and release to the public. I've been only lurking since 2009(10) as people do, looking for the hottest scoop and best news & gaming discussion around. The recent accusations against yourself, I feel you handled perfectly and I just want to say good job & the revive of a great community. Seems like a lot of the toxicity has left the building, on that I'm glad to be apart of the new GAF.
EviLore
running such a monstrous & highly visited forum, the amount of pressure and eyes on you, I can't even being to fathom the amount of stress you've endured in the amount of years GAF has been around. I too have ran decent sized discussion boards subject being Graphic Design 15k+ registered users + traffic from other sites due to resources we'd make and release to the public. I've been only lurking since 2009(10) as people do, looking for the hottest scoop and best news & gaming discussion around. The recent accusations against yourself, I feel you handled perfectly and I just want to say good job & the revive of a great community. Seems like a lot of the toxicity has left the building, on that I'm glad to be apart of the new GAF.
Blam
Member
Or I think you mean Guilty no matter what is what they were going at.
BANGS
Banned
Dude, chill the ego a bit... This isn't the thread for that stuff...
Very glad to hear you're safe sadsic and continue to grow into an awesome person! Good luck and godspeed brother!
Dr_LucienSanchez
Banned
Is this what amounts to the 'nugaf' that I've read about on here?
super-heated plasma
Member
I've been on this forum for over ten years. It's definitely not the same. We'll see if it can be what it once was or better, but I gotta say, in the end, the responsibility for everything that has happened lies on Evilore, not members or the mods.
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CampbellzSoup
Member
In what way? How can you not say any of the extreme leftist who were protracted by a moderator who banned any discerning opinions not culpable as well?
Senua
Gold Member
Yea it's pretty great.
infinitys_7th
Member
So. . .
Does anyone else think that the magnitude of the exodus and everything around it felt preplanned?
TBH, I don't know how long it takes to make a clone website, but I thought it was bizarre how quickly they had it up and running with consistent staff and everything. Not to mention how quickly they had plans to filter who signed up initially.
IDK, it felt almost like they were just waiting for some excuse to leave, and had a lot of the logistics already planned. Given how they used notorious posters on here to do account suicides to drum up outrage when the whole thing started (and those posters have power over there), I think there is some evidence for that.
More on-topic, that was one thing I always found interesting about GAF - the close-knit culture, good or bad. People generally felt open to talk and got told to PM to discuss things privately. It was kind of interesting. I usually use anonymous services online to vent about my problems, but people had that here.
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Bryank75
Banned
It's always frightening to me how fragile ones mental state and overall health can be, particularly as a father to two boys. We all know suicide rates for guys are ridiculously high and it gets very little media attention etc.
I've gone through dark days and I am still here, the thing is sometimes things can only get better and there are people who will listen and help and want to see you succeed. We should use our common love of games to come together and build each other up, ignore the hate, lies, deceit and negativity.
This place will be rocking by E3, I think there are still so many people that hold Gaf in high esteem and once newer members (like me) get the confidence to post OT's with competence and contribute more effectively... it will gather that momentum back on the gaming side.
I've gone through dark days and I am still here, the thing is sometimes things can only get better and there are people who will listen and help and want to see you succeed. We should use our common love of games to come together and build each other up, ignore the hate, lies, deceit and negativity.
This place will be rocking by E3, I think there are still so many people that hold Gaf in high esteem and once newer members (like me) get the confidence to post OT's with competence and contribute more effectively... it will gather that momentum back on the gaming side.
Dr. Claus
Vincit qui se vincit
To be quite frank, assuming "those people" you refer to are the ones who moved over to the other site - there really isn't anything of major worth that was lost.
Give it some time. I know a good number of people who despised the authoritarian left-styled moderation that was common place here for a number of years. Assuming the civil/more lenient mods stay the way they currently are - people will return and it will grow again. Plus this is the internet. People have a horrible memory of anything these days and I guarantee out that most will forget about what happened within the next year.
I am glad you got the help you needed! I had to do that a few years back myself after a mental breakdown. Depression... it just sucks. Do not worry about NeoGAF as it won't be going away any time soon. Don't ever hesitate to join in a conversation and invite friends/colleagues. Word will spread that GAF has "freed" itself from the more... tyrannical moderation of its past. Plus with the removal of the "private" emails people will be more willing to join.
Marvel
could never
Same, online friends but it still counts.