• Hey, guest user. Hope you're enjoying NeoGAF! Have you considered registering for an account? Come join us and add your take to the daily discourse.

Turns Out Women Have Really, Really Strong Sex Drives: Can Men Handle It?

Status
Not open for further replies.
There's no way this is possibly true, because you'd see considerably different social behavior if it were.

The only way this hypothesis could possibly be compatible with real world observations is if women wanted sex just as much as men, but were far more selective and willing to suppress their desires if they couldn't hook up with a male in their preferred attractiveness range.

If women were truly equivalent to men in their sexual desires, then every single person who was at least moderately attractive would be hooking up every weekend. That's not the case, so I'm calling bullshit.
 

Mistouze

user-friendly man-cashews
Guys who had sex with women who are confortable with their sexuality already know this.

EDIT : Damn at that Satch burn.
 
Guys who had sex with women who are confortable with their sexuality already know this.

There's still something different though. I've been in relationships where we had sex multiple times a day, every day, and the girl initiated it just as much as I did. But I'm absolutely certain that none of those girls would be as inclined to regularly seek out sex with strangers as I am or any average man is.

Or basically: men always go to bars/parties looking to get laid. Most women don't seem to. If they did, I'm quite sure you'd see significantly different results than what you actually see.
 

Mistouze

user-friendly man-cashews
There's still something different though. I've been in relationships where we had sex multiple times a day, every day, and the girl initiated it just as much as I did. But I'm absolutely certain that none of those girls would be as inclined to regularly seek out sex with strangers as I am or any average man is.

Or basically: men always go to bars/parties looking to get laid. Most women don't seem to. If they did, I'm quite sure you'd see significantly different results than what you actually see.
Most women don't want to be considered as sluts, if slut shaming was out of the equation I bet you wouldn't see much difference in the way men and women behave in those settings.
 

monome

Member
lol.

it takes scientists to see that mammals who like penetration, anal penetration, oral sex, bondage or physical restriction scenarios, get horny when doing it wrong/dirty/in an unaproprriate place etc... are horny as fuck?

I'm horny as fuck. and I've never had sex with a guy. What does it say about girls???

Most women don't want to be considered as sluts, if slut shaming was out of the equation I bet you wouldn't see much difference in the way men and women behave in those settings.

turns out that although contraception works and is accessible in many developped countries, many women still feel like getting pregnant from a douche/unknown quantity guy is not worth getting the sweet& dirty sex their pussy screams for.
It's not lack of wanting, it's simple life mathematics. don't go for the plus if the minus makes the calculus negative.
 

Erasus

Member
I can see this being true. Social constructs are very powerful and here the social construct of "women cant want sex because then they are sluts" seem to have taken over the feelings of women thus them putting bonds on themselves.
 
My partner is very sexual, however this was only revealed once I realised she had inhibitions that stopped it. Now it's all sorts of kinky stuff.
 

TheContact

Member
Generally when a woman has sex it's for different reasons than men. Women judge men as being good partners for raising their offspring, since women can't go around sleeping with a bunch of different guys and keep having babies, they are much more judgmental than men are, since men, genetically, are predisposed to having sex with as many women as possible in order for them to spread their genes as much as they can, they don't care as much and don't get attached like most women do. This is why the double standard exists.
 
Generally when a woman has sex it's for different reasons than men. Women judge men as being good partners for raising their offspring, since women can't go around sleeping with a bunch of different guys and keep having babies, they are much more judgmental than men are, since men, genetically, are predisposed to having sex with as many women as possible in order for them to spread their genes as much as they can, they don't care as much and don't get attached like most women do. This is why the double standard exists.

Yeah, I think a part in the OP mentions the complete opposite.
 

Prine

Banned
Not so sure, if this was the case, extremely hot women wouldnt bring money into thier criteria when selecting a sexual partner. Men are honest about thier desires, and i dont think they're concerned about financial standing when deciding to have intercourse. I know a lot of women do.
 

Prine

Banned
My partner is very sexual, however this was only revealed once I realised she had inhibitions that stopped it. Now it's all sorts of kinky stuff.


Close to my experience. My wife was just waiting for the right man, but yes, we're extremely active and she's often the enabler. Needs me constantly all the time. I love my life :)
 
is she into pegging?

Not yet, but we plan to buy something as she has expressed a desire to do it. She likes analingus (giving), generally likes playing with that area.

Close to my experience. My wife was just waiting for the right man, but yes, we're extremely active and she's often the enabler. Needs me constantly all the time. I love my life :)

I guess it takes a while to become comfortable around each other, and finding the limits.
 
Before my relationship ended, I had the same problem. I, being female, had a higher sex drive (after losing it to depo for 2 years and it finally returning to normal). I yearned for it far more frequently in comparison to my boyfriend. He's going to school to be an engineer so naturally, he usually wasn't in the mood because of homework, stress, & etc. It became more of an annoyance when I was craving it and brought it to his attention rather than him actually wanting to do anything about it :/

It got so bad to the point where we had sex, maybe, once a week or every two weeks or even a month. I'm far more sexual than he was and it was a constant issue. I can absolutely see this but most women, it seems, tend to leave that side dormant or don't acknowledge it out of some kind of shame for liking it just as much as men.

Personally, I've always felt like I was more sexual than my partners. I could always keep going. Once was always too little. I always wanted more. Call me selfish but I like the D and always wanted seconds but I suppose that ended up being too much to ask for.

smh.
 
Try telling this to my ex wife. Practically dead down there.

New girlfriend however is the complete opposite. It's everyday we're together, sometimes twice or 3 times. Always up for trying new stuff but gets sexually frustrated when we don't see eachother for a few days. Everyone is different I suppose.
 
Before my relationship ended, I had the same problem. I, being female, had a higher sex drive (after losing it to depo for 2 years and it finally returning to normal). I yearned for it far more frequently in comparison to my boyfriend. He's going to school to be an engineer so naturally, he usually wasn't in the mood because of homework, stress, & etc. It became more of an annoyance when I was craving it and brought it to his attention rather than him actually wanting to do anything about it :/

It got so bad to the point where we had sex, maybe, once a week or every two weeks or even a month. I'm far more sexual than he was and it was a constant issue. I can absolutely see this but most women, it seems, tend to leave that side dormant or don't acknowledge it out of some kind of shame for liking it just as much as men.

Personally, I've always felt like I was more sexual than my partners. I could always keep going. Once was always too little. I always wanted more. Call me selfish but I like the D and always wanted seconds but I suppose that ended up being too much to ask for.

smh.

I went to engineering school. I basically used hanky panky as stress reliever.
 
I went to engineering school. I basically used hanky panky as stress reliever.

I tried that with him. Didn't work. He hated when I used the term "fuck" too. Like if I briefly mentioned how I wanted to fuck, he would be like "eh." I don't want to tell him "Darling, I want to make love." That's just not hot to me. I dunno. He was always stressed about life and everything else. I had to ask for him to do things. It was rare for him to want to approach me on his own. Naturally, I lost interest in asking at all after a while.
 
Meh, another piece of research following an ideological agenda.

why?

I tried that with him. Didn't work. He hated when I used the term "fuck" too. Like if I briefly mentioned how I wanted to fuck, he would be like "eh." I don't want to tell him "Darling, I want to make love." That's just not hot to me. I dunno. He was always stressed about life and everything else. I had to ask for him to do things. It was rare for him to want to approach me on his own. Naturally, I lost interest in asking at all after a while.

I wish I'd met you instead when I was in engineering school.
 
Can men handle it?

Won't find out till we try...

dudes need time to recharge.

All this article does is suggest. It's wishful thinking that is not backed by evidence.

In his just-released What Do Women Want? Adventures in the Science of Female Desire journalist Daniel Bergner suggests that when it comes to acknowledging just how much women lust, we've passed the point of no return. Bergner profiles the work of a series of sexologists, all of whom have, after a series of fascinating studies with animal and human subjects, come to what is essentially the same conclusion. Women want sex just as much as men do, and this drive is "not, for the most part, sparked or sustained by emotional intimacy and safety." When it comes to the craving for sexual variety, the research Bergner assembles suggests that women may be "even less well-suited for monogamy than men."

I agree with you. But the article didn't cite the studies involved. I would assume they are described in his book.
 
I'm sure there is an equal range of sexuality between men and women, but I can confirm I found myself a live one. I didn't think it was possible, but my gf has a higher drive than me.

Unfortunately, shaming probably does curtail the drive for many women out there.
 
All this article does is suggest. It's wishful thinking that is not backed by evidence.

Well, I second the notion behind the article. I'm a female and have far higher of a sex drive than most men I meet. Naturally, I can't speak for all women but I agree that it's a possibility. I hope it's at least more true than not. I feel most women are modest about sex unless behind closed doors. I am not suggestive but I am open to most questions. It's nothing to be ashamed about but women tend to hide their "lady-boners" for the purpose of modesty but frankly, I like sex just as much, if not more, than men.
 

Tawpgun

Member
Told my girlfriend about this and we laughed at it (because it was true)

I was beta as fuck with her before we started dating. She showed so many signs she liked me, I picked up on them but was always second guessing myself. She was always waiting for me to make the first move, and I did eventually kiss her.

I was not expecting her to have such a huge sex drive. It definitely beats mine but she says she always waits for me to instigate because that what the guy is supposed to do. But, like the article said, I didn't want to come off as some shallow sex fiend and being too forceful.

Now we're pretty much equal, aside from the fact that I'm doing most of the work and it tires me out after a while
 

pompidu

Member
Is this a surveyed experiment or homonal testing? It doesnt specify and is quite.important to confirm this claim.
 
I have no problem believing that women want sex as much as men do.
I do think women are more picky than men in terms of mate choice though, and not just through social conditioning.

For most of evolutionary history, women who indiscriminately fucked any guy would've been left alone raising a kid as soon as the deadbeat dad bailed out. This situation would've made survival for mother and child very difficult. A woman who picked the right guy to fuck had his support and could successfully raise more and/or healthier offspring.
Apart from STDs, there's been little to no repercussions for men for whoring around, which is why men tend to be less fussy.
 
I know I said I wouldn't post in this thread again but...

Go back and look at threads where Gaf has discussed how many sexual partners a woman has to have before she is labeled 'dirty' and a 'slut'. Of course women aren't going to be as upfront about their sexuality as men are. When they DO express the fact that hey, sex is awesome and enjoyable, they are labeled as sluts and shamed.

I always thought that was just Internet nerds anger towards women because women basically just have to say "yes" to get laid, whereas guys seem to need to move mountains to stick it in someone.
 
I have no problem believing that women want sex as much as men do.
I do think women are more picky than men in terms of mate choice though, and not just through social conditioning.

For most of evolutionary history, women who indiscriminately fucked any guy would've been left alone raising a kid as soon as the deadbeat dad bailed out. This situation would've made survival for mother and child very difficult. A woman who picked the right guy to fuck had his support and could successfully raise more and/or healthier offspring.
Apart from STDs, there's been little to no repercussions for men for whoring around, which is why men tend to be less fussy.

Pretty much sums it up. Men can't get pregnant. Women can. So it's way too risky to just go get what you want, hence the more specific preferences and being a bit more fussy. Personally, I don't go out looking for the D. I prefer the excitement of dating someone then exploring each other rather than just hooking up.

But yeah, because of the "how much is too much?" thing women tend to keep their sexual boundaries a little more strict. Frankly, I think you can have sex with as many people as you want, responsibly, and shouldn't be called a slut or degraded for it. It's your body. Do whatever the hell you want but just like anything else, too much of anything good can become a bad thing. You gotta be responsible. It also has to do with how you present yourself though :/

I dunno. Women are weird about sex and I am one.
 
Generally when a woman has sex it's for different reasons than men. Women judge men as being good partners for raising their offspring, since women can't go around sleeping with a bunch of different guys and keep having babies, they are much more judgmental than men are, since men, genetically, are predisposed to having sex with as many women as possible in order for them to spread their genes as much as they can, they don't care as much and don't get attached like most women do. This is why the double standard exists.
That's pretty much the opposite of what the article suggests.

Well, I second the notion behind the article. I'm a female and have far higher of a sex drive than most men I meet. Naturally, I can't speak for all women but I agree that it's a possibility. I hope it's at least more true than not. I feel most women are modest about sex unless behind closed doors. I am not suggestive but I am open to most questions. It's nothing to be ashamed about but women tend to hide their "lady-boners" for the purpose of modesty but frankly, I like sex just as much, if not more, than men.

I wish more women would be open about sex. It is honestly something that is pretttty fun to talk about, but the weird looks I get from some people even with the most tame comment to people I'm pretty close to are a little off putting.
 

Mumei

Member
I have no problem believing that women want sex as much as men do.
I do think women are more picky than men in terms of mate choice though, and not just through social conditioning.

I was reading something interesting about female choosiness, where they found - at least in an experimental setting - that when women approached men for a date, women became much less particular and (interestingly) men became more discriminating - they started behaving more like the member of the sex whose role they were temporarily taking on. Maybe this suggests that at least some of women's choosiness is related to the fact that women are usually the ones receiving offers rather than making them.
 
I was reading something interesting about female choosiness, where they found - at least in an experimental setting - that when women approached men for a date, women became much less particular and (interestingly) men became more discriminating - they started behaving more like the member of the sex whose role they were temporarily taking on. Maybe this suggests that at least some of women's choosiness is related to the fact that women are usually the ones receiving offers rather than making them.
I can absolutely believe that being in the role of the approached person makes you more choosy. If women were lining up, why wouldn't I pick the most attractive ones?

Innate differences are still very likely, due to how reproduction works (huge investment for female, tiny investment for male), and the roles during approach certainly won't account for all the differences.

e.g.: In a study where male researchers approached women and female researches approached men and asked them if they were DTF, men were still a lot more willing to fuck a total stranger than women. Can't remember the percentages but IIRC the difference was huge.
Might be social conditioning, might be innate, probably a mixture of both.
 
I tried that with him. Didn't work. He hated when I used the term "fuck" too. Like if I briefly mentioned how I wanted to fuck, he would be like "eh." I don't want to tell him "Darling, I want to make love." That's just not hot to me. I dunno. He was always stressed about life and everything else. I had to ask for him to do things. It was rare for him to want to approach me on his own. Naturally, I lost interest in asking at all after a while.

Did I forget having you for a girlfriend?
 
That's pretty much the opposite of what the article suggests.



I wish more women would be open about sex. It is honestly something that is pretttty fun to talk about, but the weird looks I get from some people even with the most tame comment to people I'm pretty close to are a little off putting.

It's pretty lame. I have more male friends because of it. Women prefer gossip and don't like to go into details about the dirtier side of things. Everyone I know, when they ask me questions, expects modesty because I am a short cute girl, but I generally am straight forward. I don't sugarcoat things. It's a gift and a curse but I don't think about talking to people about sex is as big a personal thing as some people. I respect it if you don't want to go into it but don't judge me just because I think it's relatively the same as discussing periods or erections. It's not a big deal. Mostly everyone has sex. It's natural and it's fun as hell.

Modesty is acceptable and I believe being forward should be too.
 

Village

Member
I wish more women would be open about sex. It is honestly something that is pretttty fun to talk about, but the weird looks I get from some people even with the most tame comment to people I'm pretty close to are a little off putting.

Some perspective from the other side of that.

I just don't wanna know that much about you.
 

Mumei

Member
e.g.: In a study where male researchers approached women and female researches approached men and asked them if they were DTF, men were still a lot more willing to fuck a total stranger than women. Can't remember the percentages but IIRC the difference was huge.
Might be social conditioning, might be innate, probably a mixture of both.

Oh, yes. And it was actually a massive difference, though I was reading something about how with a slightly different twist much of that difference was erased. Unfortunately I can't seem to find it (or the details); I'll PM you when I find it if you're interested.
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
Top Bottom