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[mollipen]

I say no because I don't want a walled garden. that just sounds so insane to me.

First, to be clear: I'm not saying break off from GAF for a different community, in case anyone thought that was my suggestion.

I agree and disagree, and I've been totally unable to come down on either side of the fence no matter how much thought I give the question. I've been a part of "walled garden" forums, and they can absolutely provide an environment that allows some people to feel comfortable being an active part of when they didn't feel that way with other online community.

At the same time, one of my most recent examples of trying to be part of such a community left me feeling like I had no interest in the place. What I found - and I guess I should have been smart enough to expect this - was that, at least at that forum, once you broke people down into "we're all here due to a common trail", they just found other reasons to group themselves off or create "us vs them" situations.

Human nature, I suppose.

 

[Cyan]

Not to me. Considering we hear the latter more often my point is sadly valid.

Sort of a Catch-22, dude.

"I'm a gamer!" -> "Oh, you must be a boy."
"I'm a girl!" -> "Oh, did your boyfriend bring you?"
"I'm a girl gamer!" -> "Oh God, not this shit again, can't you just say you're a gamer?"

 

[Pau]

Sort of a Catch-22, dude.

"I'm a gamer!" -> "Oh, you must be a boy."
"I'm a girl!" -> "Oh, did your boyfriend bring you?"
"I'm a girl gamer!" -> "Oh God, not this shit again, can't you just say you're a gamer?"

Saddest is when you get the second reaction from other girls and you ask: "Did your boyfriend bring you?" "Umm... no."

 

[Sats]

I don't say I'm a boy gamer. Seems stupid to me.Like I'm a male movie enthusiast or a male bird watcher. Redundant and segregated rather than just saying I like dem video games. For some reason putting gender in front of things has always bugged me. Meh.

Example: the next male president will not be called a "male president".

But a FEMALE president...

 

[Ryaaan14]

Hey have we figured out the answer yet?

 

[hey_monkey]

Yes.

76.3.

 

[Log4Girlz]

Yes.

76.3.

Hey that's my IQ.

 

[Miss Riot]

Saddest is when you get the second reaction from other girls and you ask: "Did your boyfriend bring you?" "Umm... no."

"I drove my boyfriend's poor ass here since he has no job" happened once, then I beat the shit out of him in MvC2. feelsgoodgirl.jpg

 

[The Technomancer]

Upon some reflection, I'm not sure that the comments about attractiveness are the problem on their own. I was just reading another thread about a male - someone made a comment on his attractiveness and... the thread went on as normal. So I'm thinking that the comments on attractiveness are similar to PunGAF and "first post nails it."

We're not really talking about even comments on the attractiveness of, say, the subject of the article, which is fine in moderation and like literally everything a problem in excess. What I was talking about at least was threads devolving into little more than posters linking images of attractive women (either lots of pics of the same woman or in the case of the thigh thread lots of variations on a theme) and the rest of the discussion being variations on "nice". Its just the kind of quagmire that any thread dealing with the topics of attractiveness, women, or attractive women turns into.

 

[inm8num2]

Not sure what to make of this one:

http://www.neogaf.com/forum/showthread.php?t=693259

 

[freenudemacusers]

Hey that's my IQ.

Seems high

 

[Valhelm]

I wonder how Gaf would react if a general, broad "no creeping" rule was enforced.

 

[hey_monkey]

Please tell me fat Ellie remarks are in jest.

 

[Miss Riot]

Not sure what to make of this one:

http://www.neogaf.com/forum/showthread.php?t=693259

I'm gonna stay out. I don't even know where this convo is going to go.

 

[CrudeDiatribe]

Not sure what to make of this one: [dead link]

Seems to have been nuked. Darn.

 

[Zoe]

It was the heavyset characters thread.

 

[Steve Youngblood]

Seems to have been nuked. Darn.

You missed out on a great thread. Bummer.

 

[Chojin]

Upon some reflection, I'm not sure that the comments about attractiveness are the problem on their own. I was just reading another thread about a male - someone made a comment on his attractiveness and... the thread went on as normal. So I'm thinking that the comments on attractiveness are similar to PunGAF and "first post nails it."

You take that back. PunGAF is the BestGAF.

Also I'm a boy gamer! Hellooooooooooo!

 

[CrudeDiatribe]

It was the heavyset characters thread.

You missed out on a great thread. Bummer.

Yeah, I glanced at it while out at lunch. It was actually an informed 'darn'.

 

[Miss Riot]

it's a shame it got removed and scoured off of the planet. was curious how it was shaping up and now it's gone. I think its a conversation worth having but maybe the rest of neogaf wasn't ready for it. like Hammer from Fable 2, really enjoyed her character on all levels.

 

[natsuyasumi]

it's a shame it got removed and scoured off of the planet. was curious how it was shaping up and now it's gone. I think its a conversation worth having but maybe the rest of neogaf wasn't ready for it. like Hammer from Fable 2, really enjoyed her character on all levels.

I glanced at that thread yesterday and she was mentioned early on.

 

[Figboy79]

it's a shame it got removed and scoured off of the planet. was curious how it was shaping up and now it's gone. I think its a conversation worth having but maybe the rest of neogaf wasn't ready for it. like Hammer from Fable 2, really enjoyed her character on all levels.

Hammer was probably the only good thing about Fable 2...

 

[Zaraki_Kenpachi]

*snip*

I think online gaming in general whether xbox live or otherwise is just plain crap. I'm a guy and I never talk on mic unless it's friends or gaffers that I'm playing with. I'm sure it's worse for women but it really sucks for pretty much everyone involved, people are viciious for no reason. I've had some cool experiences like you with settlers of catan but I would say 99% of the time it's awful and I don't want to participate.

 

[Chojin]

I think online gaming in general whether xbox live or otherwise is just plain crap. I'm a guy and I never talk on mic unless it's friends or gaffers that I'm playing with. I'm sure it's worse for women but it really sucks for pretty much everyone involved, people are viciious for no reason. I've had some cool experiences like you with settlers of catan but I would say 99% of the time it's awful and I don't want to participate.

Pretty much my thoughts. The last time I played SF4 online I was in a room with me and my friend and some random came in and he played Ryu and started to do kicks in the air and sweep kicks on his side of the screen. I sat and watched for a few seconds got bored and beat him up and then I get a private message "HEY FAGGOT I WAS TRYING TO DO SOMETHING".

Pretty much soured me on randoms on xbox

 

[Zaraki_Kenpachi]

Pretty much my thoughts. The last time I played SF4 online I was in a room with me and my friend and some random came in and he played Ryu and started to do kicks in the air and sweep kicks on his side of the screen. I sat and watched for a few seconds got bored and beat him up and then I get a private message "HEY FAGGOT I WAS TRYING TO DO SOMETHING".

Pretty much soured me on randoms on xbox

Yeah, I was able to put up with it more when I was younger but now I just don't have the patience for it. It was bad too since it seems to be worse in shooting games and those were my favorite games for the longest time and I would list and respond by movements in the game rather than talking. I think the only game on xbox that I talked and never hated it or had problems was when they put out Phantasy Star Online Ep.1&2 for the original xbox. I loved the rainbow six games but they were painful to be in at times.

Saddest is when you get the second reaction from other girls and you ask: "Did your boyfriend bring you?" "Umm... no."

I can totally understand how this is frustrating but I think it's meant in a rather harmless fashion and usually said by people who were introduced to it in that way. The amount of times I've gone to events or whatever that were for something considered more for women, I always had guys socializing with me saying things like "Oh, did your wife/gf drag you here too?". A lot of times it wasn't because I had any real interest in the event but the assumption was still there and was mostly harmless and just a way that most people were taught to strike up a conversation. If I was interested in the even and explained why I don't remember ever getting really negative responses or the other men making fun of me and would many times back down from the angle of being dragged there and instead talk about their wife/girlfriend and what they liked about it, wanted to see, etc. . I think it's just what people are taught to say whether they feel that way or not since most people would back down from being dragged along to describing a couple things they enjoyed seeing since they were there instead of focusing on not wanting to go initially. Again, not perfect and I can totally understand where you're coming from but I think that's a default way for most people to start conversations so that will probably never disappear unless it's seen as a completely gender neutral hoppy or women are in the majority.

 

[Vermillion]

I think online gaming in general whether xbox live or otherwise is just plain crap. I'm a guy and I never talk on mic unless it's friends or gaffers that I'm playing with. I'm sure it's worse for women but it really sucks for pretty much everyone involved, people are viciious for no reason. I've had some cool experiences like you with settlers of catan but I would say 99% of the time it's awful and I don't want to participate.

Some friends of mine from HS told me that it's just "what you do online." They did mock women, but they also mocked jews and blacks. They were black and jewish themselves, and best friends to boot.

 

[Zoe]

Some friends of mine from HS told me that it's just "what you do online." They did mock women, but they also mocked jews and blacks. They were black and jewish themselves, and best friends to boot.

Smack talk has been around since competitiveness came into being.

 

[Pau]

I can totally understand how this is frustrating but I think it's meant in a rather harmless fashion and usually said by people who were introduced to it in that way. The amount of times I've gone to events or whatever that were for something considered more for women, I always had guys socializing with me saying things like "Oh, did your wife/gf drag you here too?". A lot of times it wasn't because I had any real interest in the event but the assumption was still there and was mostly harmless and just a way that most people were taught to strike up a conversation. If I was interested in the even and explained why I don't remember ever getting really negative responses or the other men making fun of me and would many times back down from the angle of being dragged there and instead talk about their wife/girlfriend and what they liked about it, wanted to see, etc. . I think it's just what people are taught to say whether they feel that way or not since most people would back down from being dragged along to describing a couple things they enjoyed seeing since they were there instead of focusing on not wanting to go initially. Again, not perfect and I can totally understand where you're coming from but I think that's a default way for most people to start conversations so that will probably never disappear unless it's seen as a completely gender neutral hoppy or women are in the majority.

In those cases it was girls who were nerds, who weren't there because they had been dragged to the event, but when they asked it they made it very clear in their tone and haughtiness that I didn't fit their idea of what a female nerd should look like, whatever that means.

 

[Miss Riot]

In those cases it was girls who were nerds, who weren't there because they had been dragged to the event, but when they asked it they made it very clear in their tone and haughtiness that I didn't fit their idea of what a female nerd should look like, whatever that means.

so stupid. I know some of the coolest old gamer ladies in their 50s. they play all sorts of stuff and they're a hoot to be around. screw looking like one. anyone can be one. grr!

 

[Pau]

I totally get people being polite and starting conversations that way, but it's another thing entirely to be patronizing. Just doesn't create a good environment.

 

[hey_monkey]

Geeks, man. Marginalized for so long that they're power mad on drawing lines!

(only slightly hyperbolic)

 

[The Tofunator]

it's a shame it got removed and scoured off of the planet. was curious how it was shaping up and now it's gone. I think its a conversation worth having but maybe the rest of neogaf wasn't ready for it. like Hammer from Fable 2, really enjoyed her character on all levels.

Wait, what went down in that thread? I noticed it popping up but never went in to check things out.

 

[Zaraki_Kenpachi]

In those cases it was girls who were nerds, who weren't there because they had been dragged to the event, but when they asked it they made it very clear in their tone and haughtiness that I didn't fit their idea of what a female nerd should look like, whatever that means.

I totally get people being polite and starting conversations that way, but it's another thing entirely to be patronizing. Just doesn't create a good environment.

Ah, those people just suck then and are the opposite of what I've experienced in pretty much all situations although completely expecting the opposite. Most of mine were at more formal events so maybe that's it? Just more mature atmosphere? I'm still shocked how my experiences turned out. Sorry

 

[Plywood]

Geeks, man. Marginalized for so long that they're power mad on drawing lines!

(only slightly hyperbolic)

That's exactly what it is.

 

[Fimbulvetr]

That's exactly what it is.

Hell, the perpetrators don't even hide it; many actually think it's a reasonable way to justify what they're doing.

 

[Chojin]

Geeks, man. Marginalized for so long that they're power mad on drawing lines!

(only slightly hyperbolic)

Yeah, but I can totally see that. I also see that when tables are turned (anectdotally) can be just as bad as the other cliques. Power corrupts blah blah blah.

In high school I was that doofus on the football team that played that "gay ass magic the gathering" but then when I went into AP Chem I was that dumb jock that somehow got into AP chem.

I also made fun of band geeks myself, as I was in a garage band and it just wouldn't do to hang out with that riff raff, though I was dating a baritone player in the marching band at the time too

Pettiness is bullshit. I was always that asshole that tried to get along with everyone.

 

[CrudeDiatribe]

Geeks, man. Marginalized for so long that they're power mad on drawing lines!

In high school in the '90s, a friend found an article about how you end up with irritating assholes in geek friend-circles because nobody dares ostracize anyone since the group came into existence by being ostracized. It fit with our experiences in our circle.

Has that changed, or was our experience too limited?

I recall we were always immediately distrustful of people being inquisitive of some of the weird games we played at lunch (D&D, Dragon Dice, Spellfire*). I recall

*yeah, Magic was too mainstream. Or something.

 

[Chojin]

In high school in the '90s, a friend found an article about how you end up with irritating assholes in geek friend-circles because nobody dares ostracize anyone since the group came into existence by being ostracized. It fit with our experiences in our circle.

Has that changed, or was our experience too limited?

I recall we were always immediately distrustful of people being inquisitive of some of the weird games we played at lunch (D&D, Dragon Dice, Spellfire*). I recall

*yeah, Magic was too mainstream. Or something.

Hah Spellfire. I stil have those cards. For a brief year I was huffing gas or something because I thought Spellfire would destroy Magic because of the power of TSR. So I sold my beta and limited cards (sigh....) and bought up Spellfire and now I still have shitty spellfire cards that nobody gives a shit about.

You bring up a good point though, its probably why I got soured on anime cons because of any sort of group that will accept anyone, anime cons were it, its nice to be inclusive, but when you start allowing creepy people who got thrown out of comic book cons or sci fi cons so they can ogle the school girl outfits, you know a line needs to be drawn

 

[ThoseDeafMutes]

It's high school. Petty shit is the norm. I had no trouble socializing with people from any background once HS was over, even kids who had bullied me only a few years before. Maybe I got lucky?

 

[Chojin]

It's high school. Petty shit is the norm. I had no trouble socializing with people from any background once HS was over, even kids who had bullied me only a few years before. Maybe I got lucky?

Nah out of high school generally thats when it changes. In college and later I sought out people that were not like me at all. Though I suppose I did that in high school. Kinda helps when you moved to another country every 3 years or so.

But I don't know, the more I think about it and the people I know and the people they hang out with, there's still a cliquish attitude. It depends on the setting I suppose. Like my gamestop friends I worked with when I was here they're really all from different backgrounds but we try to make it a point to hook up once a month at like Dave and Busters or Barcade and still hang out with each other. But after that we all go back to doing our own thing.