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"Why was my son suspended from Xbox Live until 31/12/9999?"

E

Easy_D

never left the stone age
:lol The Acts of Gord site is just pure awesome.

This thread isn't really big but it's filled with awesome.
 
U

user_nat

THE WORDS! They'll drift away without the _!
Disappointing. I've played a fare amount of Uno with my vision camera (clothed btw), and I've never run into anyone else with a camera yet alone nude.
 
N

Najaf

Member
Here is the one I was remembering:

Once upon a time Gord had a friend named Mike. And this friend named Mike had been given a Gameshark. Only this GameShark was not a normal Gameshark, it was evil and possessed dark spirits within!
It had a curious gift. This particular GameShark would blow out the PlayStation motherboard micro-fuses rendering the expansion port inoperable.

At the time, no thought was given to harnessing this power for evil.

A few months later a customer had brought in a GameShark that did not work. Gord tested it, found it did not work and in fact blew our the micro-fuses like the Mike's GameShark did.

This time, an evil idea was born!

"I'll give you $5 for it."

"Uhm... sure."

Gord buys the GameShark.

Then Gord left it on the counter begging to be stolen! Far from the computer where Gord completed his transactions, and conveniently hidden from his sight by a flyer folder. Would-be thieves would count their lucky stars at how tempting this target was.

And finally a couple weeks later, it was stolen!

Gord was a happy Gord. Not only would it not work, but it would blow out the expansion port of any machine it was plugged into.

Over the next three weeks, Gord went from fixing no expansion ports for customers ever to more than ten during that time. Gord's retribution was at hand, and the GameShark was doing its job well. This exercise was very profitable for Gord.
Click to expand...
 
E

Easy_D

never left the stone age
Verboten said:
His username's bjork and he sold hentai, not videogames. Look him up sometime.
Click to expand...
Speaking of bjork, does he too have a website chronicling his adventures as a Hentai-salesman? His stories were fantastic, shame he quit :(.
 
Meus Renaissance

Meus Renaissance

Member
Some got unbanned by making an argument in regards to the ToS. I have myself found certain things which could be interpreted as "Loopholes" and argued them to Live Support (not for a ban but something else) and they reluctantly agreed and accepted my argument.
 
S

squall211

Member
I had something to contribute to this thread....but that last link blew my mind so badly that my last three functioning brain cells were destroyed. :(
 
V

-viper-

Banned
whitehawk said:
50,000 points? Looks like this ban will do him some good.
Click to expand...
50,000 points? Isn't that like... 50 platinum trophies?

D:!

edit: nvm its not 1000 in each game. But he still has played too many games. 158 games.
 
pr0cs

pr0cs

Member
I like how nearly everyone banned or suspended in the XBOX live thread has at least 1 'X' in the name or goofy capitalization.
 
ULTROS!

ULTROS!

People seem to like me because I am polite and I am rarely late. I like to eat ice cream and I really enjoy a nice pair of slacks.
Man, I just realized most bans from Live are usually sex/nudity related. :lol
 
S

Stumpokapow

listen to the mad man
bloodforge said:
I find it hilarious when they threaten to go to PS3 and PSN if they don't get unbanned. :lol Like that's going to help.
Click to expand...

psn wouldn't even let the letters c u m exist in a username. gaffer pancakesandsex had to use pancakesandsx. so it's even worse over there :p
 
pr0cs

pr0cs

Member
krae_man said:
I like how handlebars is trolling the PS3 in his replies:lol
Click to expand...
I can't imagine some of the shit they have to go through. I bet the call center is even worse what with people screaming/swearing, etc.

If would be a fun job if you like laughing at people in a gentle friendly sort of way.
 
N

Neuromancer

Member
krae_man said:
I like how handlebars is trolling the PS3 in his replies:lol
Click to expand...
Yeah it's borderline unprofessional. :D

Even if I worked at Microsoft, I don't think I'd have the huevos to say that the PS3 has "no community."
 
N

Neuromancer

Member
The Abominable Snowman said:
The question is, Will I be banned if I purchase Super early and play online?

And what can I do to make my "Why Was I Banned" absolutely hilarious?
Click to expand...
Not if its a legitimate store bought copy, no. The only people who get banned for playing games early are pirates.

That said if you really wanted to get banned so you could troll the enforcement team, put something heinous in your bio, get a friend to report you, then state what you said in your forum post but act like you don't understand what's wrong with it.
 
pr0cs

pr0cs

Member
Neuromancer said:
Yeah it's borderline unprofessional. :D

Even if I worked at Microsoft, I don't think I'd have the huevos to say that the PS3 has "no community."
Click to expand...
you would if they were paying your bills.
 
I

InfiniteNine

Rolling Girl
pr0cs said:
you would if they were paying your bills.
Click to expand...
Pretty much, and it's not like Microsoft hasn't said this kinda stuff before. :lol
I honestly haven't been really able to really see the differences people talk about PSN and Live. I really don't get this "community" thing since they feel exactly the same.
 
P

PalaceBrother

Member
Prophet Steve said:
Maybe, I really can't imagine some very athletic guy who beats up thieves. But the stories are so good, have now read everything in two days. And I believe he just stopped with the shop and went to Asia or something. Too bad.
Click to expand...

I have no idea whether or not Gord's story is fake. It's very clearly embellished though, and I find it a bit tough to read.

That having been said I met a guy (my friend dated him and we'll call him Pete) who owned a video game store. He was robbed (for real, at knife point).

This happened in the spring of 2006, and the story goes like this:

Around closing time a thug burst into the shop with a balaclava, brandishing a knife. He ordered the owner (again, "Pete" who was working alone) to the ground and taped his wrists together. The thief's next order of business was to round up as much rare gaming merchandise as he could.

The thing about "Pete" is that he was a huge collector of rare games from days gone by. I was only in his store once, but it was really impressive. Aside from the Eastern motif (some banners, samurai swords etc.), the collection of games was staggering. I'm not used to seeing Panzer Dragoon Saga and all sorts of rare Neo Geo carts in the same place. Pete was a huge collector. He was passionate about making money off people willing to pay the price...I think he thought they were all suckers.

He was had a fondness for Harry Houdini, the legendary escape artist.

He also....had a passion for being a goddamn black belt.

So back to the robbery. The thief had tied Pete's wrists together as they were held out in front of him. When Pete twisted his wrists so they hung vertically, there was enough wiggle room for him to get his hands free. Apparently this is a common trick among illusionists. He quickly freed his hands and charged the thief who had his back to Pete.

The criminal turned just in time to realize what was going on, but not soon enough to react. Pete had him flat on his back in moments. Apparently the beat down was an unrelenting assault that had the criminal screaming for mercy.

As soon as Pete stood up to call the police, the criminal managed to crawl to the doorway to escape. This is the point of the story where most of us would have completed our phone call to the cops. Instead, Pete grabbed one of the swords off of his wall and chased the motherfucker for three blocks.

He didn't catch him, and nothing was stolen.

I'm not sure if he made any clever puns, ala-Gord....but it impressed me regardless.
 
pr0cs

pr0cs

Member
InfiniteNine said:
Pretty much, and it's not like Microsoft hasn't said this kinda stuff before. :lol
I honestly haven't been really able to really see the differences people talk about PSN and Live. I really don't get this "community" thing.
Click to expand...

Really depends on the games you play. Chances are you aren't much of a multiplay type gamer.
 
O

OldJadedGamer

Banned
ichinisan said:
This is why I stay off Live. So many morons...
Click to expand...

Hate to break it to you but morons aren't exclusive to XBL. If you want to avoid morons, cancel your internet connection, never go outside... and never look in the mirror ;)
 
J

JumpJeff84

Member
K.Sabot said:
I remember the Giant Bomb guys talking about seeing a couple of Canadians snorting crack cocaine on the live vision camera during an Uno session.
Click to expand...

Why would you snort crack? Seems like it would make more sense to smoke it.
 
J

JumpJeff84

Member
PalaceBrother said:
I have no idea whether or not Gord's story is fake. It's very clearly embellished though, and I find it a bit tough to read.

That having been said I met a guy (my friend dated him and we'll call him Pete) who owned a video game store. He was robbed (for real, at knife point).

This happened in the spring of 2006, and the story goes like this:

Around closing time a thug burst into the shop with a balaclava, brandishing a knife. He ordered the owner (again, "Pete" who was working alone) to the ground and taped his wrists together. The thief's next order of business was to round up as much rare gaming merchandise as he could.

The thing about "Pete" is that he was a huge collector of rare games from days gone by. I was only in his store once, but it was really impressive. Aside from the Eastern motif (some banners, samurai swords etc.), the collection of games was staggering. I'm not used to seeing Panzer Dragoon Saga and all sorts of rare Neo Geo carts in the same place. Pete was a huge collector. He was passionate about making money off people willing to pay the price...I think he thought they were all suckers.

He was had a fondness for Harry Houdini, the legendary escape artist.

He also....had a passion for being a goddamn black belt.

So back to the robbery. The thief had tied Pete's wrists together as they were held out in front of him. When Pete twisted his wrists so they hung vertically, there was enough wiggle room for him to get his hands free. Apparently this is a common trick among illusionists. He quickly freed his hands and charged the thief who had his back to Pete.

The criminal turned just in time to realize what was going on, but not soon enough to react. Pete had him flat on his back in moments. Apparently the beat down was an unrelenting assault that had the criminal screaming for mercy.

As soon as Pete stood up to call the police, the criminal managed to crawl to the doorway to escape. This is the point of the story where most of us would have completed our phone call to the cops. Instead, Pete grabbed one of the swords off of his wall and chased the motherfucker for three blocks.

He didn't catch him, and nothing was stolen.

I'm not sure if he made any clever puns, ala-Gord....but it impressed me regardless.
Click to expand...

I'm hearing Pulp Fiction surf rock in my head now.
 
J

J-Rzez

Member
InfiniteNine said:
Pretty much, and it's not like Microsoft hasn't said this kinda stuff before. :lol
I honestly haven't been really able to really see the differences people talk about PSN and Live. I really don't get this "community" thing since they feel exactly the same.
Click to expand...

You have your douche bags on both, that's for sure. It's just that there are far more of these people on xbl, more than just that having a larger user base would dictate. Games like Halo, CoD, and BFBC are a safe haven for these "TreesmokerXx" people. I'll admit, I love to shit talk at times, but these other people just ruin the whole game rather than talk alone. The only worse community I've found is that which is the one in WoW. Easily the biggest collective cesspool around and in gaming history.
 
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