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[Perfect Blue]

It will be a nightmare if this doesn't happen

Konami: We're building a console exclusively for MGS5. There will be no disc drive or external memory slots. It only plays MGS5. Powered by 580 GTX 4 way SLI.

$1,999.99

That would be pretty hilarious.

 

[cnizzle06]

how much

Damn it, I meant for this to go in the dream announcement thread.

Ah well.

 

[Dambrosi]

not many announcements that could cause me a nightmare, except more KINECT focus from Microsoft. Don't go further into the darkness, Microsoft!

"We at Rare are proud to present...Killer Instinct 3! Exclusively for Microsoft Kinect!"

Because you know it's gonna happen.

>

This would be perfect, all we would need is for one brave man to sacrifice himself by locking himself and the fanboys in and setting off his bomb belt.

Feel free to martyr yourself, dude. Do it for the cause.

"Did you ever find yourself oddly attracted to a game character?

Wish you could get to know Chell a bit better?

Interested in finding what lies within Lara Croft's Tomb?

...Wanna bork Alyx?

Introducing the Sony Fleshlight attachment!"

The Sony Fleshlight: Get your game on while you get your cock off!

Sega already did it with Rez and the Vibration Pack. BZZZzzzzzzzzzzzzzZZZZZZzzzzzz

As for mine: well, as much as I like the Wii and Move, I think I've had enough of motion controls as they currently are, and I think Kinect sucks donkey pubes. Although I expect Nintendo to include improved motion controls with Cafe, any other "gimmicks" from anyone that ends up being the focal point of the machine would be an awful development.

So, yeah, basically Xbox 720 = Microsoft Kinect2.

 

[babyghost853]

Sony: "Introducing the PS4, with offline multiplayer gaming! Online gaming is a last gen feature."

This made me chuckle.

 

[Azure Dream]

James Cameron plays Lazer Tag for an hour while explaining every single detail of Avatar 2.

 

[Ellis Kim]

Nintendo: Continues to not have account-centralized system for eshops. Project Cafe 2011.

Sony: NGP at $400, $350 for non3G version. PS4 teased.

Microsoft: Kojima announces exclusive Metal Gear Kinect game.

 

[watershed]

James Cameron plays Lazer Tag for an hour while explaining every single detail of Avatar 2.

ya know I don't like it when they have non-gaming people get up on stage and talk about game tech and movie tech or converging technologies or cross promotion or whatever, I can't remember but I feel this has happened a couple of times in the past.

 

[Naked Prime]

ZOE 3 for NGP

 

[Father_Brain]

Cafe revealed as the next-gen Nintendo Cereal System. Key external partner is General Mills.

 

[shaowebb]

Hype train. Woo woo!

 

[Kurod]

how much

It only costs your dignity.

 

[ThoseDeafMutes]

Cafe 1080i only, Component only, no Digital Audio, only 512MB - 1GB RAM, low end GPU, barely looks better than PS360.

This + No hard drive.

 

[Angry Fork]

1. FF7 remake

Spoiler

for Wii

2. New Metal Gear for PS3

Spoiler

You play exclusively as Rose, and you're forced to codec Raiden during the events of MGS2.

3. Counter Strike 2 announced

Spoiler

Replaces all gameplay elements from CS with everything in Black Ops

4. Half Life 3 announced, runs on heavily updated version of Source, PC exclusive for first year, will take full advantage of the latest PC hardware and won't be consolized, console versions developed separately.

Spoiler

It's set in an alternate reality where you play as Alyx where she has a job as a waitress and you have to cook + serve food. Gordon owns the place and frequently asks you to go on 'missions' to buy more ingredients from the store around the corner, mix them etc., and the entire game plays like Heavy Rain. Console versions have the original storyline/ending to Half Life

5. Rare stops working on real games.

Spoiler

This actually happened =(

 

[Dark Octave]

Cafe's real name actually ends up being Cafe.

 

[Ellis Kim]

ZOE 3 for NGP

Not unless it was multiplatform!

No longer would you have to deal with silly cameras for versus mode.

 

[Mobius 1]

Consoles with less than 1GB of RAM.

 

[Zeal]

Microsoft - Halo 4... Only playable with Kinect. "you controlled Master Chief, NOW BE HIM" *Cue video of Generic family jumping around a 1 mile long Living room because thats what everyones Home is like.

don't say shit like this. i can't take it.

 

[Seraphinianus]

Dreamcast 2 not announced

 

[ElectricBlue187]

anything controlled through motion

I will hate this E3 I already know that, thanks.

 

[Mr_Appleby]

Siren: 2 remake cancellation

wait, what, this is a thing? i loved new translation.


to google!

 

[Femmeworth]

Zone of the Enders 3 for the 3DS

ZOE 3 for NGP

That's not a nightmare at all. The NGP has two analog sicks.

 

[LevityNYC]

Activision buys Valve and Steam.

shudders...

 

[Azriell]

Kinect being a large focus of the next Xbox is a given, so I guess my nightmare announcement from MS would be either motion control only, or Kinect not getting an upgrade with next gen. Also, if MS wants Kinect to be taken seriously (and they do), then it needs to be bundled with EVERY unit sold. Only then will it possibly blossom into something that really interests me, by allowing developers to deliver on the concept of Kinect augmenting a game that's primarily played with a standard controller.

For Nintendo, the nightmare is that Cafe really is only marginally more powerful than what we already have (this nightmare is officially upgraded to night terror(!) if MS reveals their new console at E3 2011 also). Also, if Cafe doesn't have a controller with two sticks and +/-10 buttons in the box.

For Sony, my nightmare is that NGP is more than $100 more expensive than 3DS (which is still probably too expensive).

 

[badcrumble]

Nightmare? Uh, Jack Tretton pauses midway through discussing a sales chart, steps out of my monitor, and whistles cheerfully as he begins to reach down my throat and pull all of my bones out one by one. Bradburyesque, yes, but that story gave me the willies for months when I was a kid.

Also, ANYBODY announces an MMOFPS.

 

[SolarPowered]

Nintendo friend codes

I can feel the nightmares creeping up on me already...

 

[Xena]

Sony's conference being about announcing PSN's coming online back again... XD

 

[Sydle]

An Apple console. I'd be pretty sour.

 

[SneakyStephan]

An Apple console. I'd be pretty sour.

On the other hand, you'd get a new version every six months.

Then again every new version would just be some minor update with something that shoulda been in the 1.0 one.

I-vidyageamz 2 : now with an usb port and the all new I-mote controller.

 

[childplease]

Nintendo = Here is the Snes 2 now with more waggle
Microsoft = Kinect kinect kinect kinect kinect
Sony = Move, motorstorm4,socom5,resistance4

 

[BloodySinner]

Activision buys Valve and Steam.

Fuck that.

Consoles with less than 1GB of RAM.

You should be used to that by now.

 

[SneakyStephan]

1. FF7 remake

Spoiler

for Wii

3. Counter Strike 2 announced

Spoiler

Replaces all gameplay elements from CS with everything in Black Ops

That's not funny, don't even joke about stuff like that man.

 

[Sinatar]

Motion controls taking over.

Give me a controller with 100 buttons please and keep that arm flailing shit the fuck away from me.

 

[Stitch]

Konami: "Here's the new Rumble Roses............. for Kinect"

 

[IrishNinja]

Kojima's game is MGS5. Move on please and do something else.

finally, something we basically agree on, heh.

any hint that PSN/XBLA titles don't seamlessly cross over would do it for me.

 

[From The Dust]

Kojima finally reveals Snatcher 2. For iphone

 

[Utako]

I assume most "gamers" are going to lose their minds in 20 years when classical gamepads cease to exist.

Less innovation in post-gamepad technology would be my nightmare.

 

[ConradCervantes]

Nintendo = Here is the Snes 2 now with more waggle
Microsoft = Kinect kinect kinect kinect kinect
Sony = Move, motorstorm4,socom5,resistance4

Back up, son.

 

[Platy]

1. FF7 remake

Spoiler

for Wii

Given the crap reason for the lack fo towns in 13 ("too expensive to do towns in hd" or something like that) this actualy i not that far from being true xD

Spoiler

...they will reveal it to 3DS, FF4 style ;D

 

[Col. John Matrix]

"We want Hitman 5 to have a more mainstream appeal. Similar to Conviction."

This would make my goddamn blood boil!

CAPCOM: "Announcing Resident Evil 6! A cover based tps developed by some western studio with a shitty pedigree!."

 

[Codeblue]

Sony: NGP is anything more than $300
Microsoft: Next system comes out before 2014.
Nintendo: System above $300, games will cost $60.

I was going to put "Death of the two piece controller and pointer controls in favor of dual analog" but that is all but confirmed at this point. Ditch motion, whatever, but the pointer and two piece design were brilliant.

 

[Freezie KO]

No pointer controls for the Cafe.

 

[DurielBlack]

EA buying Activision.

 

[-Eddman-]

Sony, Nintendo and MS. "We quit. Leaving it all to Apple. Good luck"

That would be, actually, wonderful. Most talented developers and teams would be free to make awesome games with no hardware boundaries on PC.

 

[Fox the Sly]

The next-gen Zelda is ‘mature.’ It will be set in the gritty real world with gang wars, the master sword is the nickname for an RPG-7, Epona is a motorbike and Ganon is a corrupt police cop pursuing you.

LOL

I could easily see a few devs going that route if they had the IP.

 

[thebeeks]

"Wii 2? There is no Wii 2. You misheard us. It's Wii MUSIC 2. Please sit back and enjoy as the Treehouse Band plays this rousing rendition of the Pikmin 3 theme which, by the way, has been cancelled."

 

[rvy]

Anonymous interrupts Tretton's speech by hacking all the monitors to display Goatse.

This made me literally laugh out loud. Good job.

 

[TONX]

Sega announces its entry back to the hardware business, creates VMU's for McDonalds happy meals.

 

[Hatty]

motion controllers, EVERYWHERE.

 

[Always-honest]

My biggest fear is always the stubbornness of Nintendo.
Like saying, Gamecube graphics are good enough.

 

[Gary Whitta]

Microsoft: 45 minutes of the 60 minute conference on Kinect.
Sony: 45 minutes of the 60 minute conference on Move.
Nintendo: 45 minutes of the 60 minute conference on the 3DS.

This actually sounds like a pretty likely scenario.