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Falcs · Aug 25, 2015

This is seriously pissing me off! I've been travelling around the US for the last 3 weeks and every time I go to use the toilet to do number 2, my junk dips into the toilet water unless I hold it up. Why is your toilet water level is so high? I have to literally grab and hold myself up out of the water while I do my business. WTF?! Do you know how awkward it is trying to hold myself out of the water with one hand while trying to wipe with the other??
And it's like this everywhere! East coast, west coast, you name it. How is this normal!?
I refuse to believe I'm the only one who has this problem!
I love visiting your country, but this is driving me insane! Help me! I don't understand! Have all you Americans just gotten used to having your dick dipped in water while you piss and shit?

mattp · Aug 25, 2015

congrats

LaserBuddha · Aug 25, 2015

Stealth brag thread.

BigDug13 · Aug 25, 2015

Usually people try to stealth their brag threads.

SimleuqiR · Aug 25, 2015

Stealth brag thread.

depths20XX · Aug 25, 2015

Not so stealth brag thread.

Ray Wonder · Aug 25, 2015

Oh, I just wrap it around my leg since it's so fucking long OP.

Ultima_5 · Aug 25, 2015

how do you sit on the toilet op?

someone needs to do a colored stick figure diagram thingy

Fragamemnon · Aug 25, 2015

honestly one of the most clever stealth brag threads in a long time. Going to steal for Twitch copypasta.

GavinGT · Aug 25, 2015

You're meant to sit on the toilet the other way, so you have a nice table in front of you for Bud Light and pretzels.

bigkrev · Aug 25, 2015

2/10 attempt at stealth bragging.

Maybe trying slinging your junk over your shoulder or something?

thoseAREmySHOES · Aug 25, 2015

Could have just titled the thread "my dick is too huge, help"

Kyne · Aug 25, 2015

OP.

Ray Wonder · Aug 25, 2015

pics or it didn't happen

Falcs · Aug 25, 2015

Oh common! No fricken way am I trying to brag!
The water is seriously so high you would have to have a 2 inch penis for it not to be a problem! You guys claiming bragging must not be from the US..

railGUN · Aug 25, 2015

Try putting the seat down first.

Exokell · Aug 25, 2015

Expect pms from fem gaf OP, congrats.

SwiftDeath · Aug 25, 2015

You don't sit on toilets in America, You squat......with your shoes on while clapping

FairyD · Aug 25, 2015

You're suppose to have an erection when doing a number two.

Lights and Waves · Aug 25, 2015

Gentleman Jack · Aug 25, 2015

Just sling it over your shoulder while you go like most men do.

Reven · Aug 25, 2015

You're full of shit. There is no way this is actually happening.

vas_a_morir · Aug 25, 2015

OP has a droopy old man dick CONFIRMED.

speculawyer · Aug 25, 2015

LaserBuddha said:
Stealth brag thread.

Without the stealth.

GavinGT · Aug 25, 2015

falcs said:
Oh common! No fucking way am I trying to brag!
The water is seriously so high you would have to have a 2 inch penis for it not to be a problem! You guys claiming bragging must not be from the US..

It happens to me too, if my penis is anything but perfectly flaccid. But it usually touches the sloped ceramic rather than the water itself. Which is sort of grosser in a way, because that's where turds tend to leave their stains.

Eyeh4wk · Aug 25, 2015

Just poop in a back alley.

Pai Pai Master · Aug 25, 2015

#bigdickproblems

Draft · Aug 25, 2015

Most Americans don't have an extra inch of vestigial skin hanging off our penises, and the toilet water level is set accordingly.

depths20XX · Aug 25, 2015

Don'tcha just hate it when you flush your own dick down the toilet and you gotta call a plumber to help yank it back out? How do you Americans deal with it?

loaf of bread · Aug 25, 2015

falcs said:
Oh common! No fucking way am I trying to brag!
The water is seriously so high you would have to have a 2 inch penis for it not to be a problem! You guys claiming bragging must not be from the US..

Uhh no. You would have to have a 10 inch dong to dip in the water.

rjinaz · Aug 25, 2015

Guess this is one of the few times I should appreciate I'm not built like a horse because that sounds disgusting.

DoktorEvil · Aug 25, 2015

falcs said:
This is seriously pissing me off! I've been travelling around the US for the last 3 weeks and every time I go to use the toilet to do number 2, my junk dips into the toilet water unless I hold it up. Why is your toilet water level is so high? I have to literally grab and hold myself up out of the water while I do my business. WTF?! Do you know how awkward it is trying to hold myself out of the water with one hand while trying to wipe with the other??
And it's like this everywhere! East coast, west coast, you name it. How is this normal!?
I refuse to believe I'm the only one who has this problem!
I love visiting your country, but this is driving me insane! Help me! I don't understand! Have all you Americans just gotten used to having your dick dipped in water while you piss and shit?

falcs said:
Oh common! No fucking way am I trying to brag!
The water is seriously so high you would have to have a 2 inch penis for it not to be a problem! You guys claiming bragging must not be from the US..

Kittygirl · Aug 25, 2015

Hey, I have that bathmat in white!

loki 16 · Aug 25, 2015

Cool story bro

Aeriscloud · Aug 25, 2015

Feel free to prove it.

Ray Wonder · Aug 25, 2015

Yeah OP I feel ya, every time I flush my penis gets sucked partially down the toilet.

Dead · Aug 25, 2015

cool freak dick bro

The Albatross · Aug 25, 2015

Enjoy your poop covered 18 inch dick OP

falcs said:
Oh common! No fucking way am I trying to brag!
The water is seriously so high you would have to have a 2 inch penis for it not to be a problem! You guys claiming bragging must not be from the US..

Yeah it's a well known fact that all toilets in the US have exactly the same water levels.

DoktorEvil · Aug 25, 2015

Aeriscloud said:
Feel free to prove it.

White Man's Rule

JeTmAn81 · Aug 25, 2015

Classic mistake. We all hover. No touching the seat/bowl.

arab · Aug 25, 2015

i love how this guy exclaims everything!

Steamlord · Aug 25, 2015

OP show us your dick shadow so we can get a decent read on the situation

Dennis · Aug 25, 2015

OP is absolutely right, haters.

I made this observation in an earlier thread.

I guess the consensus was that American toilets are made for small American dicks and thus present something of a problem for our large Euro dicks.

Calderc · Aug 25, 2015

Seriously. I remember this on my first visit to America when I was 12. I was there with my school and everyone mentioned it.

stufte · Aug 25, 2015

Poop standing up, it's the all american way!

NeonBlack · Aug 25, 2015

Ray Wonder said:
Yeah OP I feel ya, every time I flush my penis gets sucked partially down the toilet.

I fixed this by doing one wrap around my leg. Problem solved

Op is actually taking high volume shits

Falcs · Aug 25, 2015

Guys, I swear I'm not tying to brag.
Look how high this shit is......

How is this not a problem for most of you!! It's got nothing to do with size!

Nozem · Aug 25, 2015

I'm with you OP. USA's obscenely large military force must be compensation for their small dicks.

Krejlooc · Aug 25, 2015

Americans poop standing up, OP

Unlike you filthy foreigners who are basically making out with each others butts every time you sit on a toilet "seat."

nilbog21 · Aug 25, 2015

Op let us see your dick pls

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