• Hey, guest user. Hope you're enjoying NeoGAF! Have you considered registering for an account? Come join us and add your take to the daily discourse.

ive done f*cked up :\

Status
Not open for further replies.
A

Angry Grimace

Two cannibals are eating a clown. One turns to the other and says "does something taste funny to you?"
The actual chance of impregnating a girl even if you bust inside her isn't high at all. There are plenty of people that fuck daily to try to have a kid and it still takes months.
 
N

NomarTyme

Member
weekend_warrior said:
That's IT!? All that reading and you're just scared about PRE-CUM getting this girl pregnant!!? What a waste of my time.
Click to expand...
I like how he bragged about his stamina. 3 minutes and I am done for the day.
 
L

levious

That throwing stick stunt of yours has boomeranged on us.
Congrats on the 60 minute session shuri, your lady-friend isn't pregnant.
 
M

Mr. B Natural

Member
You effed up when you decided to date a woman with a kid already.

You also effed up with that stupid story about freaking out when you didn't even ejaculate.
 
S

Smokey

Member
NomarTyme said:
I like how he bragged about his stamina. 3 minutes and I am done for the day.
Click to expand...

Like Bernie Mac said on Kings of Comedy..."I don't have to prove myself to you woman, I'm a grown man. I'mma get mine...YOU BETTER GET YOURS!"

I've lived by this motto ever since
 
N

NomarTyme

Member
Smokey said:
Like Bernie Mac said on Kings of Comedy..."I don't have to prove myself to you woman, I'm a grown man. I'mma get mine...YOU BETTER GET YOURS!"

I've lived by this motto ever since
Click to expand...
RIP.
 
L

LegendofJoe

Member
GrotesqueBeauty said:
"Oral contraceptives make me sick" is code for "My loins will bear your fruit". Who the hell doesn't take the morning after pill just because they don't want to feel icky for a few hours? The fact that she initiated (and continued to go along with) this bout of unprotected sex only further raises my suspicions.
Click to expand...

Yeah, that's what I was thinking. Her retort about him being sure he didn't want a kid at this point in time is worrying as well. I think your woman has been lying to you about not wanting a kid, shuri. You need to get that shit straightened out with her.
 
R

Radogol

Member
sebajuNujabes said:
The purpose of this thread is for OP to secretly brag about his impressive stamina.
Click to expand...

Of course.

cnizzle06 said:
OMG DUDE 60 MINS!?!?! YOU'RE FUCKIN AWESOME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Click to expand...

And some took the bait.

smh
EDIT: because my sarcasm detector just broke. Maybe.

Amir0x sums up the thread perfectly, as usual.
 
A

Amir0x

Banned
you had sex! let me extend my hand in congratulations in representation of this message board of unwashed geeks.

you not only had sex, but you have the endurance of a God. sixty minutes, wow! You go boy! You're the man!

And man, pre-cum? You should definitely be scared about that, what a common mistake not wearing a condom is for someone who has sex all the time (frequently, clearly!). You are also well knowledged in the world of sex. You clearly have been around the boat with members of the female persuasion, and as such you must only receive the envy of your peers in the gaming community.

How glorious your life is, you king of men, you lord of thrust, you megastar of penetration, you alpha male amongst all of nerdom.

We bow before your glory, shuri.
 
J

jamesinclair

Banned
Id be more concerned about HER and the head on her shoulders.

She already has a kid, and is not with the father. That sounds like shes fucked up before.

She does not want another kid.

But she doesnt take the pill and doesnt remind you to put on a condom?

She didnt learn the lesson the first time around?

And on top of that, she was too busy having sex to remember to pick up her daughter?

Bail out.
 
D

DangerousMali

Member
Amir0x said:
you had sex! let me extend my hand in congratulations in representation of this message board of unwashed geeks.

you not only had sex, but you have the endurance of a God. sixty minutes, wow! You go boy! You're the man!

And man, pre-cum? You should definitely be scared about that, what a common mistake not wearing a condom is for someone who has sex all the time (frequently, clearly!). You are also well knowledged in the world of sex. You clearly have been around the boat with members of the female persuasion, and as such you must only receive the envy of your peers in the gaming community.

How glorious your life is, you king of men, you lord of thrust, you megastar of penetration, you alpha male amongst all of nerdom.

We bow before your glory, shuri.
Click to expand...

:lol :lol
 
H

Hydranockz

Member
GrotesqueBeauty said:
"Oral contraceptives make me sick" is code for "My loins will bear your fruit". Who the hell doesn't take the morning after pill just because they don't want to feel icky for a few hours? The fact that she initiated (and continued to go along with) this bout of unprotected sex only further raises my suspicions.
Click to expand...
The real deal breaker is that she wanted sex not more than 10 minutes after playing Reach. The game is good, but not 60 minute fuckfest worthy.
 
E

Esch

Banned
Amir0x said:
you had sex! let me extend my hand in congratulations in representation of this message board of unwashed geeks.

you not only had sex, but you have the endurance of a God. sixty minutes, wow! You go boy! You're the man!

And man, pre-cum? You should definitely be scared about that, what a common mistake not wearing a condom is for someone who has sex all the time (frequently, clearly!). You are also well knowledged in the world of sex. You clearly have been around the boat with members of the female persuasion, and as such you must only receive the envy of your peers in the gaming community.

How glorious your life is, you king of men, you lord of thrust, you megastar of penetration, you alpha male amongst all of nerdom.

We bow before your glory, shuri.
Click to expand...
:lol :lol :lol :lol :lol :lol
 
M

Mr. B Natural

Member
Amir0x said:
you had sex! let me extend my hand in congratulations in representation of this message board of unwashed geeks.

you not only had sex, but you have the endurance of a God. sixty minutes, wow! You go boy! You're the man!

And man, pre-cum? You should definitely be scared about that, what a common mistake not wearing a condom is for someone who has sex all the time (frequently, clearly!). You are also well knowledged in the world of sex. You clearly have been around the boat with members of the female persuasion, and as such you must only receive the envy of your peers in the gaming community.

How glorious your life is, you king of men, you lord of thrust, you megastar of penetration, you alpha male amongst all of nerdom.

We bow before your glory, shuri.
Click to expand...

Are you being sarcastic, dude?
 
E

Escape Goat

Member
Amir0x said:
you had sex! let me extend my hand in congratulations in representation of this message board of unwashed geeks.

you not only had sex, but you have the endurance of a God. sixty minutes, wow! You go boy! You're the man!

And man, pre-cum? You should definitely be scared about that, what a common mistake not wearing a condom is for someone who has sex all the time (frequently, clearly!). You are also well knowledged in the world of sex. You clearly have been around the boat with members of the female persuasion, and as such you must only receive the envy of your peers in the gaming community.

How glorious your life is, you king of men, you lord of thrust, you megastar of penetration, you alpha male amongst all of nerdom.

We bow before your glory, shuri.
Click to expand...


I think his Halo skills got her all wet and sexually charged her with every headshot.
 
Beardz

Beardz

Member
xXCHAOSXx said:
Gotta be something wrong with anyone who can last that long... I can if i'm really drunk, sober LOL no way.
Click to expand...

hotdoghallway.gif
 
S

shuri

Banned
Amir0x said:
We bow before your glory, shuri.
Click to expand...
Thank you!

As for her, she was married to the guy for like 8 years, everything was planned out and etc. But yeah, her reaction is suddenly very worrying. She's usually very level headed, so her sudden reaction is strange.

She just texted me mentioning is walking around, 'thinking about things', and that 'she doesnt want to talk about it anymore; that the case was closed in her mind'
 
S

Staccat0

Fail out bailed
When I started reading this thread I thought it was going to be about a fight because you got out of bed to play more Halo.
After that, I thought the threade was going to be about you masturbating after she left and her coming home ready for round 2.
All things considered, not as good as I had hoped...

I wouldn't stress. Well, I would. But you shouldn't.
Just wear a condom kids. Not ever worth the little risk.
Amir0x said:
you had sex! let me extend my hand in congratulations in representation of this message board of unwashed geeks.

you not only had sex, but you have the endurance of a God. sixty minutes, wow! You go boy! You're the man!

And man, pre-cum? You should definitely be scared about that, what a common mistake not wearing a condom is for someone who has sex all the time (frequently, clearly!). You are also well knowledged in the world of sex. You clearly have been around the boat with members of the female persuasion, and as such you must only receive the envy of your peers in the gaming community.

How glorious your life is, you king of men, you lord of thrust, you megastar of penetration, you alpha male amongst all of nerdom.

We bow before your glory, shuri.
Click to expand...
Are you suggesting he's secretly bragging or hasn't reallly had sex? Strangely, this just makes it sound like you HAVEN'T had sex for some reason but I can't put my finger on why.
Either way, I don't see the point in trollin' the OP so hard. This thread is better than most of our beiber and hipster related threads.
 
R

Radogol

Member
shuri said:
As for her, she was married to the guy for like 8 years, everything was planned out and etc.
Click to expand...

But she dumped him for your industrectible dick, right?

You're my hero, Shuri.
 
C

cnizzle06

Banned
shuri said:
Thank you!

As for her, she was married to the guy for like 8 years, everything was planned out and etc. But yeah, her reaction is suddenly very worrying. She's usually very level headed, so her sudden reaction is strange.

She just texted me mentioning is walking around, 'thinking about things', and that 'she doesnt want to talk about it anymore; that the case was closed in her mind'
Click to expand...

Dude, she probably felt the baby kick :\
 
B

brianjones

Member
shuri said:
one thing leads to another, and we're off to an epic bout of 60 minutes (wtf) of non-stop penetration, with a few 30 secs break so she can rest and catch her breath. Phone rang, it was her daughter, it was time to go pick her up. We just stopped, even if I didnt cum (..). We showered and she left. The thing is.. in the heat of the moment, I never stopped to put a condom on.
Click to expand...

2q80dms.jpg
 
A

Amir0x

Banned
Teh Hamburglar said:
I think his Halo skills got her all wet and sexually charged her with every headshot.
Click to expand...

the pick up lines must be so hot

"i love the way you dual wield those needlers baby"

DancingCow.gif
 
Status
Not open for further replies.

Similar threads

Mother in laws and how to stop them?
2 3
100
5K
ThatStupidLion replied
  • Locked
Gina Carano was going to get her own Star Wars spin-off before the internet mob got her fired
2
75
4K
ahtlas7 replied
When does losing a pet get easier?
2
79
3K
Blade2.0 replied
  • Locked
GAF, I need some advice about a cop harassing my wife.
39
2K
phaedrus replied
is it love or just physical attraction but my brain thinks its love ?
2 3 4 5
226
11K
samoilaaa replied
Top Bottom