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Cheating-GAF: Share your stories
- Thread starter ScOULaris
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ScOULaris said:
Yes, you're a prick/douche/asshole.
But you're not understanding the reasoning here. It's because none of this shit is your business. You just feel the need to insert yourself into other people's lives and be some righteous hero when you should be minding your own damn business.
The Lamonster
Member
haha I didn't feel like starting any fightsChinner said:i preferred your original post because i was going to make a joke but whatever
I could end up with fluids expelling from my nose from mr. tough guy!
Tapiozona said:
Well unfortunately I don't really have any pics from highschool from 16 years ago. That was a different time for me, things have changed. Sure it's a childish thing to do but at the time it's what I felt was right. Don't really have anything else to say about it...
The Lamonster
Member
You can tell from OP's writing style that he's most likely just a teenager. He'll learn these things in time.Snuggler said:
D
Deleted member 22576
Unconfirmed Member
You just need a FAT reality check.ScOULaris said:
Other people's relationships are absolutely NONE of your business. You have absolutely no right to interfere with people's personal lives.
So let me get this straight, you guys. If you were being cheated on, you WOULDN'T want someone to tell you? Even if it was your significant other's friend?
Turning 25 soon. What about my writing makes you think I am in my teens? Have you seen how teenagers write these days?
The Lamonster said:
Turning 25 soon. What about my writing makes you think I am in my teens? Have you seen how teenagers write these days?
OP Paraphrased said:
It almost sounds like you would go all detective on people.
There are cases where I would rat out friends, but it would only be when it was a chronic case where the cheating was causing real damage to the relationship (on going affair). IMO, while a one time cheat is morally wrong, telling your S.O. about it is actually the wrong thing to do. It is selfish and hurtful to confess.
I did cheat on a girlfriend in high school, we were already drifting apart and instead of ending it, I moved on to new territories.
I've been married for almost 19 years and have never cheated. While I have had opportunities and urges, I couldn't live with myself breaking my wife's heart.
ScOULaris said:
Nope, as long as it is a done deal in the past, I don't want to know.
To be clear, I am only referring to sex cheating. A full out affair would be a different story.
NEOPARADIGM
Banned
Snitches get stitches.
No, seriously, I would fuck you up.
ScOULaris said:
I've had a close friend cheat on his girl. I did what a proper friend does and discussed it with my friend. I don't pretend to know everything about the situation and judge it out of some unreal 'morals' that are subjective to the situation. I don't think it's right if that's what straight up is happening, but maybe it isn't. Maybe it is; if it is, I'll discuss it in length with my friend. If it goes to far over too long, maybe. But I'm not "hi, I'm Bob. If you cheat on your girl, I will always give you one week to tell, then I will".
I'm not incapable of judging a situation.
John Dunbar
correct about everything
Snuggler said:
people can't solve their issues if they don't know about them.
Here's how I look at it, if one of my close friends cheats on someone I'l call them a douchebag a few times and be done with it. No need to tell their significant other.
If they were being cheated on I probably would tell them, comfort them if they needed it and they can figure out the rest on their own.
If it's two people that are somewhat known to me, I'd let them solve it on their own. No need for me to interfere.
If they were being cheated on I probably would tell them, comfort them if they needed it and they can figure out the rest on their own.
If it's two people that are somewhat known to me, I'd let them solve it on their own. No need for me to interfere.
HamPster PamPster
Member
Never cheated and never been cheated on (to my knowledge anyway)
Anyone else simply not care? Maybe its because I'm older and married but freaking out about cheating seems like a young person's game. Honestly if my wife came to me and said she cheated on me I probably wouldn't care all that much.
Of course its impossible to know without being in that situation but I certainly wouldn't go breaking any noses. If she had an ongoing thing with someone I'd end our relationship and let her persue that one but if it was an one time thing I'd just forgive her and move on.
This American Life has a great cheating episode
http://www.thisamericanlife.org/radio-archives/episode/393/infidelity
Anyone else simply not care? Maybe its because I'm older and married but freaking out about cheating seems like a young person's game. Honestly if my wife came to me and said she cheated on me I probably wouldn't care all that much.
Of course its impossible to know without being in that situation but I certainly wouldn't go breaking any noses. If she had an ongoing thing with someone I'd end our relationship and let her persue that one but if it was an one time thing I'd just forgive her and move on.
This American Life has a great cheating episode
http://www.thisamericanlife.org/radio-archives/episode/393/infidelity
Rahxephon91
Banned
I'm sorry my loyalty is to my friends first and foremost. I'm not going to rat out my good friends. Who does that?
The Holstein of Venice
Neo Member
Wow, I can't believe people think the OP is a douche. I'd want to know if my significant other was cheating on me behind my back. If I found out some other way and my friends told me they knew I'd be pissed as hell that they didn't tell me. I'm guessing the ones calling out OP have cheated on someone before. =/
D
Deleted member 22576
Unconfirmed Member
I don't think anyone really disagrees with this. At least I don't.ScOULaris said:
The problem is you interjecting yourself in a very personal situation that doesn't involve you in any way.
ScOULaris said:
It's great that you feel like that. I do, too. I'd never cheat on anyone. I don't care about evolution or societial structures and notions of 'cheating' - I just don't think it's cool. I don't impose that on my friends. That's why I'd rather discuss it, because I can hear their side of the story, and even learn more about life from their experience of cheating on someone.
I don't cheat myself and afaik never cheated on(though I somewhat suspect one girl did, but we broke up before the suspicion was big enough to act on).
Have a friend that dated this girl for a few years and cheated on her multiple times(she never found out), but since they got married he has changed his ways. While I despise cheating. He's a good friend and it's not like he's cheating on me.
Have a friend that dated this girl for a few years and cheated on her multiple times(she never found out), but since they got married he has changed his ways. While I despise cheating. He's a good friend and it's not like he's cheating on me.
crimzonflame
Member
Rahxephon91 said:
OP will if one of his two friends cheat.
I love the people saying "I've never been cheated on."
That you know of...
Shit happens. If my current gf had some random drunken hookup while I was out of town, I'd honestly rather not know about it. Telling me in this case would be offloading her guilt onto me, and putting me in a painful position of deciding how to handle it.
If we're talking about a full-on relationship behind my back, that's different.
That you know of...
Shit happens. If my current gf had some random drunken hookup while I was out of town, I'd honestly rather not know about it. Telling me in this case would be offloading her guilt onto me, and putting me in a painful position of deciding how to handle it.
If we're talking about a full-on relationship behind my back, that's different.
Maybe "ratting them out" is a bad choice of words in my original post. I wouldn't be snooping behind their back. They know from Day 1 that they need to come clean, and I give them time to do so. If enough time passes without their confession, then I will give them a final warning. It's not like I'm trying to dick them over. They know what they did was wrong, and a true, level-headed friend would not try to kick my ass over it. And frankly, they probably couldn't if they tried.
DUFFMCWALIN
Member
I've never cheated but I have been cheated on. She cheated on me, then a few months later broke up with me. I found out that she cheated on me after we broke up, was pissed, then didn't give a fuck and moved on.
Neuromancer
Member
A prick/douche/asshole.Rahxephon91 said:
ScOULaris said:
I don't want to derail, but the cheating doesn't do the damage, it's the knowledge of the cheating.
A bunch of years ago I might have shared your attitude, but cheating wouldn't be enough for me to call it off now. If I did for some reason screw up, I wouldn't tell my wife. If she has had sex with some guy in the past, I don't want to know about it. Sex is sex, marriage needs to withstand mistakes, and a sexual tryst is just a mistake. A full out affair is just the end, but that is different than cheating.
And that sucks, but if you go on saying "its just a matter of time before the next wench rips out your heart! SHE MIGHT BE DOING IT RIGHT NOW" then its pretty obvious that you've got trust issues that still need to be worked on.TomServo said:
All that bullshit of "that you know of! *dun dun dun*" is pointless
D
Deleted member 22576
Unconfirmed Member
No. That's exactly what it is.ScOULaris said:
But it's properly enraging me!Tapiozona said:
You can't just interfere with shit like this. Aghgh!
Ok I'm done.
crimzonflame
Member
ScOULaris said:
Frankly, this post makes you look even worse.
I don't understand how/why someone would do it.....then again I don't understand a lot of the bad things which people seem to commonly do. If a relationship is going sour you can't force someone to stay with someone they don't love, nor can you help it if perhaps you love someone else more but the right thing to do would be to break up first and be honest with them before seeing someone else.
If it means anything OP I'm on your side. I think it's good that you don't tolerate it. Not sure what I'd do and I've never been in that situation. If it's someone I don't know well I'd stay out of it, if it was a close friend I think I'd force them to confess or stay clear of them. Sometimes you make things worse by interferring.
If it means anything OP I'm on your side. I think it's good that you don't tolerate it. Not sure what I'd do and I've never been in that situation. If it's someone I don't know well I'd stay out of it, if it was a close friend I think I'd force them to confess or stay clear of them. Sometimes you make things worse by interferring.
ScOULaris said:
infidelity at most any level is something best dealt with intimately. Some people (both victims and wrongdoers) would want desperately to keep their privacy no matter what direction they decide to go once things are in the open between the couple. Having a third party (you) involved is not going to help, and likely would only amplify the victim's shame. I unfortunately say this from experience, please trust me that you are doing no one a favor and only cause further hurt by interfering. By all means, continue to scold your hypothetical cheating friend and encourage him/her to come clean. But doing more and/or going directly to the victim is not the right thing to do.
YuriLowell
Member
ScOULaris said:
Its still none of your goddamn business. Who the fuck do you think you are "giving them time to come clean"?
TomServo said:
I agree. Has my current gf cheated on me? I doubt it. Has she had the opportunity? Absolutely. But I trust her. I know guys hit on her when she's out at the bars with her girlfriends (She is sometimes the wingman) - hey, it's free drinks for her. She tells me she dances with guys, who cares? She doesn't let them get their hands on her or anything she can be a super bitch.
ScOULaris said:
You're too black and white. And you're no party to judge anything. Virtually no situation where someone's cheating on someone is simple or similar to all other situations where that has happened. While the norm is that you don't cheat, the fact that you pretty much have a moral contract with your friends saying "if you cheat on your girl, I'll tell on you if you don't. No matter the situation". Maybe your friend is in the most tormenting situation ever, and you nagging him about morals will just add stress and completely shit on the entire situation.
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