Skiptastic
Member
NEOPARADIGM said:
One of the dumbest policies I've ever known.
Never cheat, have been cheated on. It sucks. You move on.
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Cheating-GAF: Share your stories
- Thread starter ScOULaris
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One of the dumbest policies I've ever known.
Never cheat, have been cheated on. It sucks. You move on.
I cheated on my main GF in highschool with an ex of mine. Made me feel terrible. She never found out and I never had the balls to tell her. It really does eat you alive. It isn't worth it at all. I'm a paranoid person as is, and it only adds to it.
Never been cheated on that I know of. I would probably flip out though.
Would I cheat again? I almost kind of did with a girl I've been seeing for a while now. Long story. I'm very weak when it comes to aggressive women. Trying to change when it comes to it, but I just fall like a log at the moment. Quite pathetic, but what can ya do. I don't think I'd ever cheat again.
Never been cheated on that I know of. I would probably flip out though.
Would I cheat again? I almost kind of did with a girl I've been seeing for a while now. Long story. I'm very weak when it comes to aggressive women. Trying to change when it comes to it, but I just fall like a log at the moment. Quite pathetic, but what can ya do. I don't think I'd ever cheat again.
rainking187
Member
I can't say I disagree with the OP, he's not part of the couple obviously, but if the guy tells him he cheated I wouldn't say he's not involved. Of course I probably wouldn't be able to hang around with people that went around cheating on their significant others like that.
Just to be clear, when it happened with my best friend, we did discuss it. He told her the next day, and that was it. And despite all of this, we remained friends! Who would have thought that my friend would be mature enough to accept responsibility for his wrongdoing and not threaten me for being "disloyal?"
Your style of argument is selective and ambush-ish. Stop.ScOULaris said:
You discuss that you're displeased with your friend but that you're there for them to talk it out. Maybe it's a sign that your friend's relationship has soured and they need to get out -- you help them realize that. Our maybe it's just your friend being an idiot -- you help them realize that doing it again could have them throwing away a perfectly fine relationship for random ass.
We're not defending cheating. Stop suggesting that.
Never cheated or plan to, never been cheated on.
I do have a totally messed up story about cheating though...
Have a group of friends since grade/middle school and we were all really good friends. Guy A married his high school sweetheart after 10 years of dating. Guy B was his best man. After about 5 years of marriage it turns out that Guy As wife was cheating on him with Guy B...it gets worse.
So Guy A at the time is dealing with the recent death of his grandmother along with taking care of his other ailing grandmother and his father who has had to have multiple heart surgeries over this period of time. His first grandmother left him an inheritance of around $30K. His wife had just purchased a new car and had about $10K in credit card debt, but being the husband and having come into a nice chunk of cash he pays off both of those debts leaving him with little to nothing. The week after is when it came out that she had been sleeping with Guy B for over a year.
Guy A was a delivery driver that had to deliver daily to Guy As work place.
So now Guy B is living with Guy As Wife and neither Guy A nor Guy B hang out with the group. Guy A we are not sure why, but we assume it has to do with how he thinks we feel about the situation (everyone on the outside is strongly against how it went down). Guy B because it is very awkward when he shows up with our other friends wife.
Anyhow shitty situation that has basically shattered a good group of friends of 15+ years.
I do have a totally messed up story about cheating though...
Have a group of friends since grade/middle school and we were all really good friends. Guy A married his high school sweetheart after 10 years of dating. Guy B was his best man. After about 5 years of marriage it turns out that Guy As wife was cheating on him with Guy B...it gets worse.
So Guy A at the time is dealing with the recent death of his grandmother along with taking care of his other ailing grandmother and his father who has had to have multiple heart surgeries over this period of time. His first grandmother left him an inheritance of around $30K. His wife had just purchased a new car and had about $10K in credit card debt, but being the husband and having come into a nice chunk of cash he pays off both of those debts leaving him with little to nothing. The week after is when it came out that she had been sleeping with Guy B for over a year.
Guy A was a delivery driver that had to deliver daily to Guy As work place.
So now Guy B is living with Guy As Wife and neither Guy A nor Guy B hang out with the group. Guy A we are not sure why, but we assume it has to do with how he thinks we feel about the situation (everyone on the outside is strongly against how it went down). Guy B because it is very awkward when he shows up with our other friends wife.
Anyhow shitty situation that has basically shattered a good group of friends of 15+ years.
This was supposed to be a thread where people could share their cheating stories, because they are usually pretty interesting.Lard said:
But obviously I struck some kind of nerve with my black-and-white stance on cheating.
Either way, I don't think it's my fault that this thread has been derailed so thoroughly. It's still interesting discussion though, despite all the hate I am getting.
Its not hate, its just something that rubs people the wrong way when you take this moral stand of "I give them fair warning" and other shit when its clear that you're not aware of the reasoning behind why a lot of infidelity happens in the first place.ScOULaris said:
The Holstein of Venice
Neo Member
Oh, I get it now. It's one of those
Neuromancer
Member
No. You struck a nerve when you discussed your assholish policy of ratting out your friends.ScOULaris said:
samus i am
Member
DominoKid said:
He would rather take the moral high-ground.
It doesn't matter what their "reasoning" was for cheating. The other half of the couple that was cheated on deserves to know. Let them decide if the reasoning makes any difference after hearing the news, but everyone deserves to know when they are being cheated on.DY_nasty said:
Huh?DY_nasty said:
I don't feel I have trust issues as much as I feel most people are naive about love. You're dealing with another person, another free will, and another mind that can change in an instant.
I enjoy the current moments in my relationships, and that's enough for me. I'm not going to devastated if someone cheats on me, I'll just have to decide if the pleasure I get from the relationship is worth overlooking a single breech of trust.
Again, if we're talking about a full-blown affair that's a different matter entirely.
And yes, the "that you know of" bit is relevant. Most psychologists and relationship counselors would tell the one-time cheater not to fess up. If someone goes out and seeks professional advice for what to do in case they have a single slip in fidelity, the advice will be to take it to their grave.
YuriLowell
Member
ScOULaris said:
so also probably tell kids santa isint real.
crimzonflame
Member
This is what happens to OP's friends if they don't confess:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G-WDHE-qEUI
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G-WDHE-qEUI
You keep saying it doesn't matter, its WRONG.ScOULaris said:
No one is saying that it isn't. We're saying that if a friend tells you that he is, and you drop the ultimatum on him like you're an agent of God instead of talking to him like the friend you're supposed to be, then in the best case scenario you're a shitty friend.
Also, jumping into other people's homes and relationships doesn't help anyone.
NEOPARADIGM
Banned
ScOULaris said:
I dunno man. It's not like you're an idiot or anything. I can appreciate strong, honest morals. It's just .... like, nerdy and douchy, like you're playing mommy or some shit.
It's very much along the same lines as "if you don't tell your parents you skipped school today, I will" or "omg you stole a pack of baseball cards? well we're going to tell the manager," or calling the cops on your parents for smoking weed.
Just ... weird. Let people live their lives, man.
YuriLowell
Member
No one in here is defending cheating. Its a shitty act and ill admit ive done it, but if you were a friend you would help out your friends, and not go running off to tell the other party.
rainking187
Member
levious said:
Victims of cheating deserve to know they've been cheated on.
samus i am
Member
DY_nasty said:
LOL, too funny.
rainking187 said:
sure, but they also deserve their privacy. Unless they reach out to someone to help them, don't interfere. Like I said before, certainly continue to encourage the cheater to come clean, but don't get involved.
rainking187
Member
DY_nasty said:
When the guy isn't man enough to tell her himself.
joeblackisback
Member
ScOULaris said:
No one is going to put their stories in your thread with you out Narc-ing on everyone.
edit: your edited OP doesn't make you sound any less arrogant.
rainking187 said:
If you think that, tell that to your friend. Not your friend's partner. If your friend is a complete douche running around hitting everything and laughing at you for saying you think it's not a cool thing to do - then he's not your friend. Feel free to do whatever.
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