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What "simple things" can't you do?

R

RionaaM

Unconfirmed Member
I can't wink, cook (I seriously need to learn this) or get a girlfriend (nor even a casual relationship). In fact, I suck at socializing, so I know I will never achieve the latter.

I also couldn't get a motorcycle driving license. Failed the exam on the first attempt, and never tried again. I rode my bike on the street a few times and I didn't suck (nor did I kill myself!), but the exam was rather hard and I was incredibly nervous. It's been several months since I bought it, and I'm still coming to work by bus...
 
M

megarockexe

Member
Finale Fireworker said:
I can't use chopsticks. :/

I've been trying for so many years. I make a concerted effort to learn to use them. I just don't have the dexterity and people's suggestions are nonsense to me. I especially hate "hold it like a pencil." Clearly, I hold a pencil very different from chopstick aficionados.
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I tried for a while, and could never do it comfortably. Then when I saw a left-handed person expertly use them with their right and use a fork on the left, I felt like breaking his hands and never attempted it again.
 
J

Judge Magister Zexion

Banned
I can't ride a bike or whistle.

I'm also absolutely terrible with remembering names, you and me can be best buds for years, but when you randomly walk up to me or just during a convo or something, I almost always forget.

Usually it goes something like this

Person: Hey Zexion
Me: Hey Rick, I mean Alex, I mean Micheal.
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Like I just forget completely who that person is, it's even worse in things like Discord because I could be talking with 4+ People and I keep jumbling their names up.
 
A

Aomber

Member
Get a full time job. Been working as part time tech support for a year and a half despite attending two prestigious universities.
 
O

Oblivion

Fetishing muscular manly men in skintight hosery
panty said:
Why the hell can't you ride a bike or swim?

E: Assuming you're not disabled or paralyzed or anything, just curious.
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Jokergrin said:
How the fuck do you not know how to ride a bike
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I can't ride a bike cause no one taught me and also I never owned one.

I can't swim cause I had a traumatic experience where I nearly drowned (trying to learn to swim) and has made me scared of going in the water ever since. Though, I think I may be able to try it right now, but who would teach a 32 year old dude?
 
S

shaneo632

Member
I'm 29 years old and can't drive. I've always lived in big cities and like to drink when I go out so can't really justify the expense for something I'd barely use.
 
C

Chao

Member
I have a car and know how to drive, but driving in big cities just surpasses me.

Everything is super confusing and I’m in constant panic mode while I’m there. People who live in the city has no problem driving there because they know the streets and where each of the three thousand lanes go , but it makes me want to kill myself.

I’m afraid of driving to other cities because even this one I kinda know makes me feel so bad, imagine what a completely new one would do.

And no, GPS doesn’t really help with that.
 
J

jiggles

Banned
Talk coherently.

I spend a lot of time working in isolation and it's amazing how easy it is to lose the ability to clearly express yourself.
 
U

UpDownLeftRight

Banned
Swim for me.

Well I can but in the least useful way ever. I can swim perfectly half a foot below the surface. As soon as the head comes up for air everything goes south like a brick.
 
P

PjotrStroganov

Member
Finger wistle. Guess I have to get a dog and practice.

Snap my fingers.

Mascot said:
Spit. Never been able to spit.

It comes out in a 160-degree spray or just runs down my chin.
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Mine might come out a bit better but I've never been able to master it. The spit from between the teeth thing is an ability I can only dream of.

nintendork666 said:
Can't open a beer bottle with a lighter
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Try resting the lighter on your knuckle. Most people that fail do it on the phalanx which is much softer.
 
H

HawksWinStanley

Member
Can't whistle or snap my fingers.

With whistling I've had people who can whistle confirm my tongue is in the right position and everything, it's just a really faint/hollow whistle sound with mostly just wind coming out.

With snapping I don't know what's up. I'm doing it right but there's not much sound when my middle finger hits my palm. It kind of sounds like a snap but it's not that really sharp clicking sound a lot of people can make.
 
D

Damaniel

Banned
Syf said:
Roll my r's. I just sound like a total doofus when I try.
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This one right here. I studied Spanish for nearly 7 years (4 in high school, a couple years in college) and my inability to do that made my Spanish speaking sound extra bad.
 
J

JCHandsom

Member
Can't drive manual

Can't blow a bubble with gum

Can't remember people's names without multiple reminders

Can't parallel park
 
Z

ZOONAMI

Junior Member
Wow at all the people who can’t ride a bike.

Step 1 buy a cheap bike

Step 2 ride it

You will fall down a few times but you just have to pedal and you’ll stay up right. You’ll hardly be moving if you do lose balance starting out so you won’t actually hurt yourself, just put your feet down and you won’t even be falling. You don’t need anyone to teach you.

I’m sure there are plenty of YouTube vids on the subject as well, but you really just have to do it and you’ll figure it out.
 
S

snausagesUK

Member
ZOONAMI said:
Wow at all the people who can’t ride a bike.

Step 1 buy a cheap bike

Step 2 ride it

You will fall down a few times but you just have to pedal and you’ll stay up right. You’ll hardly be moving if you do lose balance starting out so you won’t actually hurt yourself, just put your feet down and you won’t even be falling. You don’t need anyone to teach you.

I’m sure there are plenty of YouTube vids on the subject as well, but you really just have to do it and you’ll figure it out.
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I don't know it looked pretty tough in that one episode of Frasier
 
M

Myriadis

Member
jiggles said:
Talk coherently.

I spend a lot of time working in isolation and it's amazing how easy it is to lose the ability to clearly express yourself.
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Basically. I still talk with others in my job but most of the time I work alone and it's pretty difficult for me now to express myself.
 
S

StoneFox

Member
Lots of people in here saying they can't swim is surprising. If there isn't some kind of traumatic experience attached, I urge you guys to learn, it could save your life some day.

I can't do the pen flip trick with my fingers. I've been trying to learn but it's just not working out.
 
D

dragonchild

Banned
Kingpin Rogers said:
Standard life stuff in general. I never fail to make myself look like an idiot when I go outside.
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It looks to me like you're talking about two different things. For me, "standard life stuff" is "adulting" like holding a job, paying bills, doing chores, etc. I do OK with that, I guess.
On the flip side, applying "make myself look like an idiot when I go outside" to myself would be a tragic understatement, but fortunately avoidable enough that I don't think of it as "standard life stuff". I get lonely but I don't need a social life, so I avoid getting ostracized by staying out of social gatherings in the first place. Maybe being a homebody is not standard, but interacting with people outside of work is largely optional.
 
M

Mupod

Member
I don't remember ever learning to swim. I have perfectly clear memories of learning to ride a bike without training wheels, but swimming is just something I always had. So I actually have no frame of reference for what it's like to be unable to swim, I swim every day in the summer but I don't think I could teach someone. I don't even know what beginner swimming lessons are like, I understand that there's a lot to learn about form and techniques but I mean on an absolute basic doggy paddle level.

wetflame said:
I can't whistle with my fingers. I can swim, but I can't float. My wife laughs at me every time I try, my legs just start to drop down. It's better in the sea because saltwater's more buoyant, but in a pool it's not happening.
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Stuff like this is what I'm curious about. Floating is all about keeping your breath in, maybe you're exhaling too much?
 
L

LakeEarth

Member
Can't crack an egg without fucking it up one way or the other. Having the egg split in half the way it's supposed to is a rare event.
 
T

TheBowen

Sat alone in a boggy marsh
Cant Wolf Whistle, and for the life of me i do it almost everyday but i cant cook vegetables. Always ends up as burnt shit
 
F

family_guy

Member
Can't swim. Feel embarrassed by it. I really want to pay for some private lessons because I'd like to do all the cool water activities people do when on vacation. Also used to be able to whistle as a kid but can't anymore.
 
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